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AkhiraisReal

Stop giving woman Confirmation

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We men must stop giving woman confirmation by lowering our gaze. Otherwise we are part of the hijab problem. The more look they get, the more confirmation they going to get and the more dopamine release. And they will only continue with their behavior and dress inappropriate. 

If we had lowered our gaze in the first place, there would be no place for inappropriate dressing and behavior. 

Let's be real men like our Imams and lower our gaze. 

Future is looking really bad, where there will be no physical and social hijab except for the very few pious ones. 

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4 minutes ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

If a man just stares at a woman's toe they also get dopamine release.

Yeah these times can't even lower our gaze down to the ground no more.

There's a reason why women's feet is to be covered in front of non mahram too.

Many males find it attractive....not me of course...hahaha...other men...who are not me.

 

vFkxFr.gif

Quote

You saw ankle bone? You got some ankle cleavage, you dirty devil, huh? You saw?

 

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30 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

If we had lowered our gaze in the first place, there would be no place for inappropriate dressing and behavior. 

While I agree with the part that men should lower their gaze, but I don't think this will decrease the tendency of non-hijabi woman to show off their beauty. As it is not the only reason for women to put away their hijab. Well, a non-hijabi woman doesn't seek attentions from pious men & pious men don't cast lustful gaze. So, these type of women will eventually get the ego boost they need from like mineded men, doesn't matter what pious men do.

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11 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Then hide your toes. 

We shouldn't look at women in an unprofessional way. 

Should we hide our fingers too by wearing gloves? Because the slightest thing could give men a dopamine release. Maybe we should cover our faces too

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16 minutes ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

Should we hide our fingers too by wearing gloves? Because the slightest thing could give men a dopamine release. Maybe we should cover our faces too

If you have social and physical hijab as Islam tells you to, then leave the rest unto Allah. 

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5 hours ago, aaaz1618 said:

Men give women the confirmation, not the other way around, so why are you telling sisters to cover their feet, why aren't you telling us men to sort out our lust? Seems to me that when it boils down to it, your argument is that women are still the problem not the men. Us men give the confirmation, but it's the woman's fault for accepting that confirmation? 

I'm not trying to be funny, but which women do you think perverted men in Muslim countries lust after, women in hijabs and abayas or women with no hijab and strap tops?

You're preaching to Muslim women who let's be honest do a commendable job of getting through life without being attacked, they observe hijab in a time when it's easier not to. They do their best. 

You won't go and tell non-Muslim women and non-Muslim men what you just told us though, will you? They are after all the ones who influence Muslim men and Muslim women. It's easier to lecture the easy targets.

Muslim women are easy targets to all sorts of garbage being thrown at them and I think they deserve some credit where it's due and they deserve a break as well.

That men should lower their gaze is for everyone. Not sure you understood my first post.

I am blaming both genders. Men for giving them the look, the confirmation, the gaze, and woman for dressing inappropriate and behaving immoral which drags the attention of men.

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5 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

If we had lowered our gaze in the first place, there would be no place for inappropriate dressing and behavior. 

Are women little helpless children who run around trailing behind men awaiting confirmation eagerly? 

I agree that men looking and flirting etc all is some sort of confirmation and it does give both parties a sense of joy, but women don’t await the look of a man only to act on a whim.

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1 hour ago, AkhiraisReal said:

most of it probably happens subconsciously. Because that's how woman have been raised and programmed.

Maybe you should move to Appalachia. Where I come from, mothers and grandmothers are the backbone of the family and men have to earn the attention of the ladies.

Edited by notme

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1 minute ago, 2Timeless said:

Uhhh I wasnt raised to lower my standards of hijab just because a man looked at me... and I'm sure all the women here would agree that their God-fearing parents would not instill such values in them, or "programme" them in such a way. 

not just parents, school, society, music, tv, movies, friends and so much more.

It's all in your subconscious mind, which is why most are not conscious about it, it happens automatically.

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1 hour ago, 2Timeless said:

women have enough self respect and pride and fear of Allah in order to be able to maintain the required level of hijab, regardless of how many men look at them.

*Standing Ovation*

I suspect even among the ones who appear to not, it's an act, an easy excuse to do as they please.

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56 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

So you're saying that society has this vendetta against women and women are helpless flailing little dolls that have no mind of their own that they use to disassociate from the satisfaction of being admired by men and maintaining hijab? 

Men might be helpless in the face of their desires, but I assure you, women have enough self respect and pride and fear of Allah in order to be able to maintain the required level of hijab, regardless of how many men look at them.

as I said except for the pious ones. Everyone else will be a tool for the system.

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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13 minutes ago, realizm said:

:salam:

The level of self deny by OP is incredible.

Of course men ARE part of the hijab problem 

https://www.al-Islam.org/hijab-Muslim-womens-dress-Islamic-or-cultural-Sayyid-Muhammad-Rizvi/Qur'an-and-hijab#first-verse

 

I am by no way a feminist, but you need to be mature about it and stop acting like it might, in the best scenario, be the woman's fault only. And like men could erase the sins of women, if only they wanted it.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) adressed both genders the same way, it is a shared problem.

What do you mean by self deny? Of course this is a shared problem. Men should lower their gaze, and woman too and also cover themselves.

I never said anything different. We are all part of the problem.

 

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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6 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

What do you mean by self deny? Of course this is a shared problem. Men should lower their gaze, and woman too and also cover themselves.

I never said anything different. We are all part of the problem.

 

So why did you say 'If WE do not [...] then we are part of the problem' ?

There will always be a problem of hijab, because when it is not the men looking that makes the women seduce, it is the seducing women that make the men look. And same for men seducing women.

You make it sound like men have the remedy to that situation. Let's just stop staring and everything will be ok.

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57 minutes ago, realizm said:

So why did you say 'If WE do not [...] then we are part of the problem' ?

I don't understand what you mean.

57 minutes ago, realizm said:

 

There will always be a problem of hijab, because when it is not the men looking that makes the women seduce, it is the seducing women that make the men look. And same for men seducing women.

You make it sound like men have the remedy to that situation. Let's just stop staring and everything will be ok.

at least it's a start, You even posted that verse from Qur'an saying to lower the gaze.

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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19 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

don't understand what you mean.

Your statement; 

 

8 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

If we had lowered our gaze in the first place, there would be no place for inappropriate dressing and behavior. 

Suggests that men are the root cause and everything revolves around them. You're also suggesting that the whole solution lies within men restraining themselves.From my understanding, that is what @realizm meant. 

In my opinion, the foundation of what you've claimed is true to an extent. But what completely eliminated all credibility is the claim that adds to the macho and heroic image of men, whilst portraying women as damsels in distress completely helpless in the face of some urge to become  temptresses of oh so innocent men.

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5 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Are women little helpless children who run around trailing behind men awaiting confirmation eagerly? 

I agree that men looking and flirting etc all is some sort of confirmation and it does give both parties a sense of joy, but women don’t await the look of a man only to act on a whim.

 YASSS PREACH

4 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

most of it probably happens subconsciously. Because that's how woman have been raised and programmed.

Okay what the hell, but this is outrageous. That's how woman have been "raised".  So you're saying that we've been raised to dress up and act the way we are only to attract men?!!! So our parents did not raise us to have limits and boundaries? How dare you

Most women want to just fit in society, because the generation that we live in today has made us have alot of insecurities. Women have been pressurised into trying to look good because they don't want to feel judged. And even when we do cover ourselves the Islamic way, men still tend to stare. Because that's how men have been "raised and programmed".

So stop blaming women for the cause of men not being able to control their desires. If you have a problem with lowering your gaze, then that's something you need to work on.

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39 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

exactly lol.

Lol so what's the point of your thread? You are saying women seek the confirmation of men, and that's partly the root cause of the problem. You brought up this "root cause" thing.

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5 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Lol so what's the point of your thread? You are saying women seek the confirmation of men, and that's partly the root cause of the problem. You brought up this "root cause" thing.

Then everybody misunderstood my thread. 

I said that we men should lower our gaze because otherwise we are part of the problem 

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4 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

 

I said that we men should lower our gaze because otherwise we are part of the problem 

Women dress modestly because men not lowering their gaze IS the problem.

Men gawking is not part of, it is the whole.

Even if a woman is walking around nude, y'all males still are obligated to control yourselves.

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4 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Then everybody misunderstood my thread. 

I said that we men should lower our gaze because otherwise we are part of the problem 

Then open another stupid thread about giving men confirmation lol 

5 hours ago, Sumerian said:

How about both genders just fulfill their obligations lol why does it matter what the root cause is?

You have extreme skills in summing up things in one sentence brother :sign_merci:

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17 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

We men must stop giving woman confirmation by lowering our gaze. Otherwise we are part of the hijab problem. The more look they get, the more confirmation they going to get and the more dopamine release. And they will only continue with their behavior and dress inappropriate. 

If we had lowered our gaze in the first place, there would be no place for inappropriate dressing and behavior. 

Let's be real men like our Imams and lower our gaze. 

Future is looking really bad, where there will be no physical and social hijab except for the very few pious ones. 

what dopamine causes ?

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2 minutes ago, Flying_Eagle said:

what dopamine causes ?

The idea is that men like what they see when they look, women see them look and feel a sense of confirmation/reward, dopamine is released and therefore the women continue the cycle by continuing to dress or act a certain way.

 

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6 hours ago, notme said:

Women dress modestly because men not lowering their gaze IS the problem.

Men gawking is not part of, it is the whole.

Even if a woman is walking around nude, y'all males still are obligated to control yourselves.

there is responsibility over both the genders, a woman has to veil and a male has to respect her veil. If a woman is without veil, it is actually one of the cause of people's attention which is contributing factor towards sin, the other cause being the irresponsibility of men. 

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1 minute ago, aaaz1618 said:

The idea is that men like what they see when they look, women see them look and feel a sense of confirmation/reward, dopamine is released and therefore the women continue the cycle by continuing to dress or act a certain way.

 

I see.

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