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In the Name of God بسم الله

Question To The Married Sisters

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8 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

even shiachat, look at the "like" emoji its a heart. I know this sounds stupid and funny, but one brother might get a crush from that. 

Only if he has never seen any social media. The heart-as-like is pretty universal.

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Why not also ask the married men how their wives feel about their use of shiachat?

Lol nah, I kid.

Ok that's too weird. I'm outta here!

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54 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

for hijab reasons. To protect their wives from from shaytans temptations. To keep their wives honour.

No man wants their wife to talk to non mahram men without a strong reason to do so. Because we as men know what other men want from females when they talk to them.

Hmm

maybe you should read more narrations...

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To be honest, gender only exists on the internet if you choose to make it a part of how you present yourself. That's why sometimes I feel no need to correct people who mistakenly refer to me as "brother". Unless it's relevant to the discussion, I'd prefer to leave gender out of it.

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:helpsos:

Why is there no popcorn emoji for those of us watching/following this thread?

And yes, some men do have a problem with their wives being on shiachat, even if they happened to meet their spouse on shiachat before hunting them up in real life and proposing. To the extent that they ask them to/force them to unregister. 

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45 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

Hmm

maybe you should read more narrations...

what narrations.

39 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

I swear, at this point, I think I understand some men more than you do, but they clearly have different mindset to you, as do some of the husbands of these users.

it's true what you say. People have different mindset hence why some allow and some don't. And why some don't care of hijab and some do.

11 minutes ago, notme said:

To be honest, gender only exists on the internet if you choose to make it a part of how you present yourself.

true.

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5 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

 

salam.

Does your husbands know that you are a shiachat user, and that it's mixed gender here. Does he know that occasional laughs and jokes takes place between the genders. Does he know that private messages are being sent between the genders, and that there is a chatroom where both genders can join. etc etc and there is more than that of course

And he has no issues with that whatsoever?

 

No, because there is a difference between friendly banter and being flirty with someone. This forum has friendly banter. There’s nothing wrong with that. My husband finds nothing wrong with that either. 

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20 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

No, because there is a difference between friendly banter and being flirty with someone. This forum has friendly banter. There’s nothing wrong with that. My husband finds nothing wrong with that either. 

that friendly banter can turn into something else some day

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1 minute ago, AkhiraisReal said:

that friendly banter will turn into something else some day

Lol you are trolling, dude. 

I can’t believe you’d suggest something so crude. It’s very insulting. 

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2 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Lol you are trolling, dude. 

I can’t believe you’d suggest something so crude. It’s very insulting. 

 

1 minute ago, notme said:

No, not if limits are observed.

shaytan is very clever.

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These are always very funny posts, Like men have nothing to do in the world, just to impress a female who can take away his saved money which he hides from his wife. Women don't eat grass brother. If a male tries to marry having already one wife, he starts getting bald because second wife keep hiting his head with a fry-pan so that he give her money for meeting her expenses.

3 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

maybe the married man is looking for his 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife in shiachat.

check out my thread "Males why do you talk to the females".

There are various reasons for it....some of it are as follows

1, There are less guys like you who really want to talk to brothers because most of them have exhausted the curiosity among them and asked and listened and are convinced about what they have established into their minds, so they do not start any conversation most of the time, I seldom see a brother like you who want to discuss about a topic, this is because you are 19 and you are lot of questions to ask and share your curiosities,

2. Girls are technically good speakers and they are never dumb (in the sense of sharing what they have of knowledge) like males so they have always something to speak about if they are talking, otherwise, there is no other reason for males talking to them especially for me at least.

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57 minutes ago, Flying_Eagle said:

These are always very funny posts, Like men have nothing to do in the world, just to impress a female who can take away his saved money which he hides from his wife. Women don't eat grass brother. If a male tries to marry having already one wife, he starts getting bald because second wife keep hiting his head with a fry-pan so that he give her money for meeting her expenses.

There are various reasons for it....some of it are as follows

1, There are less guys like you who really want to talk to brothers because most of them have exhausted the curiosity among them and asked and listened and are convinced about what they have established into their minds, so they do not start any conversation most of the time, I seldom see a brother like you who want to discuss about a topic, this is because you are 19 and you are lot of questions to ask and share your curiosities,

2. Girls are technically good speakers and they are never dumb (in the sense of sharing what they have of knowledge) like males so they have always something to speak about if they are talking, otherwise, there is no other reason for males talking to them especially for me at least.

Not all women want money :dry:

It is a duty of the male to pay for a females expenses but that doesn’t mean that females are greedy and will hit males in head with a frying pan for money 

bruh....

 

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2 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

for hijab reasons. To protect their wives from from shaytans temptations. To keep their wives honour.

No man wants their wife to talk to non mahram men without a strong reason to do so. Because we as men know what other men want from females when they talk to them.

As Salamu Alaykum. Please allow me to present my humble opinion. 

I've quoted the above for better specificity, for what I'm about to write. 

The brother has said nothing wrong and frankly, I don't understand why some of you are "ganging up" on him, or feeling distaste when in fact -ironically- he has more respect for women than some women themselves; with all due respect. 

In Islam, more specifically, in matters pertaining to marriage, there is something called غيرة (ghayra or ghiira) which literally means jealousy. In short, jealousy is of two types, the type that is praiseworthy and that which is illaudable; the type that is with a legitimate reason and the type that is without a legitimate reason, respectively. The legitimate type usually presents itself (in marriage) in the form of not wanting his wife to speak to other men [in Shiachat]. A man has every right to protect the chastity of his women (sisters, daughters and wives), his own pride, and the pride of the household. This is, at the end of the day, obligatory for the husband. Allah, the Messenger, and the Ahlul Bayt have all commanded us to do this. 

Some narrations on legitimate jealousy: 

In the book: man la yahdharuhu al-faqih, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s) has said: "Verily jealousy (ghayra) stems from faith (Imaan).
In Bihar al-anwar, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s) has said: "My father [Prophet] Ibrahim had 'ghayra' and I [Mohammed] have more 'ghayra' than him, and may Allah humiliate the believer (man) that does not have 'ghayra'.
In the book: Kanzul 'Ummal, it is narrated that Imam Ali (عليه السلام) has said: "Verily, Allah loves of His servants the ones with 'ghayra'"

Illegitimate jealousy is that which does not stem from faith, but perhaps, from personal emotion. For instance, the husband not wanting the wife to go to the Masjid (in the company of mahrams) because some men might see her. This is haram, because the woman has done nothing wrong, she isn't speaking to any men illegitimately nor is she initiating any other act that would lead to haram, thus, this kind of jealousy is haram for men. But that which stems from faith like not wanting your wife to speak to other non-mahram men illegitimately (read the book of laws of your marja' for additional information), or not wanting the wife to wear adornments, like makeup in front of non-mahram men etc. is not only praiseworthy, it is wajib

PS. the translations of the aforementioned narrations (from Arabic to English) are from me personally. I ask Allah to forgive me for any shortcomings in this regard. 

May Allah guide us all. 
 

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6 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

salam.

Does your husbands know that you are a shiachat user, and that it's mixed gender here. Does he know that occasional laughs and jokes takes place between the genders. Does he know that private messages are being sent between the genders, and that there is a chatroom where both genders can join. etc etc and there is more than that of course

And he has no issues with that whatsoever?

Salam

Yes, he knows and sometimes I tell him what I read here specially when I read something funny.

I rarely use private messages. I don’t use chat room.

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Not married anynore but back when I was he knew I was on ShiaChat and had no problems with it. I think he had a profile too though rarely used it.

Married women need to be on ShiaChat so they can keep an eye on their husband in case they are looking for an umpteenth mutah wife. :keeporder: :threatenlumber:

@AkhiraisReal does your wife know 

a. That you are on ShiaChat?

b. Making threads asking questions specifically for female users? 

b. Getting your heart broken?

c. 'Like' icon on ShiaChat is wreaking havoc with your emotions?

 

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19 minutes ago, starlight said:

Not married anynore but back when I was he knew I was on ShiaChat and had no problems with it. I think he had a profile too though rarely used it.

Married women need to be on ShiaChat so they can keep an eye on their husband in case they are looking for an umpteenth mutah wife. :keeporder: :threatenlumber:

@AkhiraisReal does your wife know 

a. That you are on ShiaChat?

b. Making threads asking questions specifically for female users? 

b. Getting your heart broken?

c. 'Like' icon on ShiaChat is wreaking havoc with your emotions?

 

:keeporder: 

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4 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

You might have an inferiority complex but I've met many gentlemen, including my own family members who talk to women because they are simply human (shocker!!!). Not all men are disgusting creatures with only one thing on their mind. 

Also, is it not against Allah to break your wife's heart and betray her and lie to her? 

He is thinking like most of the man don't say that he has inferiority complex. Most of men think themselves to be stronger than their wives but stumble and lose their memory if they aren't responsible as religion wants them to be and find a real love number 2.

:hahaha:

Edited by Flying_Eagle
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53 minutes ago, Ali.m said:

As Salamu Alaykum. Please allow me to present my humble opinion. 

I've quoted the above for better specificity, for what I'm about to write. 

The brother has said nothing wrong and frankly, I don't understand why some of you are "ganging up" on him, or feeling distaste when in fact -ironically- he has more respect for women than some women themselves; with all due respect. 

In Islam, more specifically, in matters pertaining to marriage, there is something called غيرة (ghayra or ghiira) which literally means jealousy. In short, jealousy is of two types, the type that is praiseworthy and that which is illaudable; the type that is with a legitimate reason and the type that is without a legitimate reason, respectively. The legitimate type usually presents itself (in marriage) in the form of not wanting his wife to speak to other men [in Shiachat]. A man has every right to protect the chastity of his women (sisters, daughters and wives), his own pride, and the pride of the household. This is, at the end of the day, obligatory for the husband. Allah, the Messenger, and the Ahlul Bayt have all commanded us to do this. 

Some narrations on legitimate jealousy: 

In the book: man la yahdharuhu al-faqih, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s) has said: "Verily jealousy (ghayra) stems from faith (Imaan).
In Bihar al-anwar, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s) has said: "My father [Prophet] Ibrahim had 'ghayra' and I [Mohammed] have more 'ghayra' than him, and may Allah humiliate the believer (man) that does not have 'ghayra'.
In the book: Kanzul 'Ummal, it is narrated that Imam Ali (عليه السلام) has said: "Verily, Allah loves of His servants the ones with 'ghayra'".

May Allah guide us all. 
 

Salam brother. When I read this I almost started crying brother. Because you understood me.

 May Allah grant you pious wife and may you be a servant of the Imam of his 313 in sha Allah

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3 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Salam brother. When I read this I almost started crying brother. Because you understood me.

 May Allah grant you pious wife and may you be a servant of the Imam of his 313 in sha Allah

O! Man, really you got emotional brother. It's not a problem, don't get emotional like that again. Through you, I learnt above brother's valuable remark. But I believe that if you are married tell your wife you use shiachat and when you open any social site don't hide from her as she as equal rights like you have rights over her.

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11 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Salam brother. When I read this I almost started crying brother. Because you understood me.

 May Allah grant you pious wife and may you be a servant of the Imam of his 313 in sha Allah

We never disagreed btw it’s just that it’s not only for women , men also have to guard them selves the difference between you and Ali.m is the way it’s explained but nevertheless if my replies felt as a attack I humbly apologize to you 

peace . 

Edited by Noor Taleb
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1 minute ago, Flying_Eagle said:

O! Man, really you got emotional brother. It's not a problem, don't get emotional like that again. Through you, I learnt above brother's valuable remark. But I believe that if you are married tell your wife you use shiachat and when you open any social site don't hide from her as she as equal rights like you have rights over her.

Exactly. 

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10 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

We never disagreed btw it’s just that it’s not only for women , men also have to guard them selves the difference between you and Ali.m is the way it’s explained but nevertheless if my replies felt as a attack I humbly apologize to you 

peace . 

it's true sister, men has to lower their gaze as well and guard themselves. And yes sometimes I am direct in my questions without explaining much.

no worries sister.

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15 minutes ago, Flying_Eagle said:

O! Man, really you got emotional brother. It's not a problem, don't get emotional like that again. Through you, I learnt above brother's valuable remark. But I believe that if you are married tell your wife you use shiachat and when you open any social site don't hide from her as she as equal rights like you have rights over her.

Yes wife has right over husband on certain things that husband don't have rights over her.

And husband has right over certain things that wife don't have over him.

In sha Allah may we all be guided by our holy Qur'an and Ahlul Bayt.

Edited by AkhiraisReal
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Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

Yes wife has right over husband on certain things that husband don't have rights over her.

And husband has right over certain things that wife don't have over him.

That's true. One of the right of wife over husband is that she has to protect her husband. If I am not wrong why shy from sharing what I do on social websites?

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