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AkhiraisReal

Question To The Married Sisters

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salam.

Does your husbands know that you are a shiachat user, and that it's mixed gender here. Does he know that occasional laughs and jokes takes place between the genders. Does he know that private messages are being sent between the genders, and that there is a chatroom where both genders can join. etc etc and there is more than that of course

And he has no issues with that whatsoever?

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3 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

salam.

Does your husbands know that you are a shiachat user, and that it's mixed gender here. Does he know that occasional laughs and jokes takes place between the genders. Does he know that private messages are being sent between the genders, and that there is a chatroom where both genders can join. etc etc and there is more than that of course

And he has no issues with that whatsoever?

Why would they have an issue with it? Im not married, but my entire family know that I have ShiaChat and that its mixed discussions. They have no problem with it because they know I have my limits and boundaries. 

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3 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

salam.

Does your husbands know that you are a shiachat user, and that it's mixed gender here. Does he know that occasional laughs and jokes takes place between the genders. Does he know that private messages are being sent between the genders, and that there is a chatroom where both genders can join. etc etc and there is more than that of course

And he has no issues with that whatsoever?

Yep. He trusts me and I don't do anything to break that trust. If I communicate with males, I'm perfectly open with my husband about it, without violating the privacy of members who confide their secrets in me. I rarely use private messages for personal communication anyway, and rarely use chat.

But I'm older than most shiachat users, so there's little risk that some guy will develop a crush.

When I was on shiachat when I was younger (and unmarried), sadly, I might have ignorantly broken a few hearts. Be careful about that, folks, don't break hearts if you can help it. If you start to develop an infatuation or if you start to feel that a person you are talking with is developing an infatuation, best to end it if you aren't going to pursue it.

I guess that last bit is off topic.

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32 minutes ago, notme said:

Why not also ask the married men how their wives feel about their use of shiachat?

maybe the married man is looking for his 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife in shiachat.

check out my thread "Males why do you talk to the females".

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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2 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

maybe the married man is looking for his 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife in shiachat.

check out my thread "Males why do you talk to the females".

Doesn't how his wife feels about it matter even more in that case?

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2 hours ago, Ruqaya101 said:

Why would they have an issue with it?

for hijab reasons. To protect their wives from from shaytans temptations. To keep their wives honour.

No man wants their wife to talk to non mahram men without a strong reason to do so. Because we as men know what other men want from females when they talk to them.

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1 minute ago, notme said:

Doesn't how his wife feels about it matter even more in that case?

:keeporder:

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1 minute ago, notme said:

Doesn't how his wife feels about it matter even more in that case?

it does matter since it's his wife. But it's not going against what Allah has given us permission to do. Whereas a woman talking to non mahram for no strong reason can make the husband go jelous because he wants to keep his wifes honour and keep her hijab. Because we men know what other men want from females.

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1 minute ago, AkhiraisReal said:

it does matter since it's his wife. But it's not going against what Allah has given us permission to do. Whereas a woman talking to non mahram for no strong reason can make the husband go jelous because he wants to keep his wifes honour and keep her hijab. Because we men know what other men want from females.

It doesn’t matter :ko:

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1 minute ago, AkhiraisReal said:

you never know these days.

Here I have to agree with you 

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7 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

it does matter since it's his wife. But it's not going against what Allah has given us permission to do. Whereas a woman talking to non mahram for no strong reason can make the husband go jelous because he wants to keep his wifes honour and keep her hijab. Because we men know what other men want from females.

You might have an inferiority complex but I've met many gentlemen, including my own family members who talk to women because they are simply human (shocker!!!). Not all men are disgusting creatures with only one thing on their mind. 

Also, is it not against Allah to break your wife's heart and betray her and lie to her? 

Edited by 2Timeless
Typo

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1 minute ago, 2Timeless said:

You might have an inferiority complex but I've met many gentlemen, including my own family members who talk for women because they are simply human (shocker!!!). Not all men are disgusting creatures with only one thing on their mind. 

Also, is it not against Allah to break your wife's heart and betray her and lie to her? 

Preach preach preach 

:yahoo:

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1 minute ago, 2Timeless said:

You might have an inferiority complex but I've met many gentlemen, including my own family members who talk for women because they are simply human (shocker!!!). Not all men are disgusting creatures with only one thing on their mind. 

Also, is it not against Allah to break your wife's heart and betray her and lie to her? 

who said anything about breaking heart or lying, and what do you mean by betraying?.

You are a sister and you will never understand us men. There was a quote someone posted in another thread saying something like "if women knew how men perceive them, the would cover themselves with iron armour".

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8 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

woman talking to non mahram for no strong reason can make the husband go jelous because he wants to keep his wifes honour and keep her hijab. Because we men know what other men want from females.

A wife is not a possession, she is a person.

If the wife is open, talks freely about who she talks with, what she talks about, why would her husband have any fear unless it is just his own insecurities?

Certainly if a woman marries an insecure man, she should be conscious of and sensitive to that and do her best to lift him up so he can be the best man he can be, but barring this one unique situation of a woman who married a man who lacks self-confidence, shouldn't a husband trust his wife unless she has given him reason to not trust her?

And if a man is insecure, he needs to be open with his wife about this, not hide it from her or pretend to fear for her honor or safety.

Spouses are meant to be like garments to each other, not like burdens or chains.

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Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

who said anything about breaking heart or lying, and what do you mean by betraying?.

You are a sister and you will never understand us men. There was a quote someone posted in another thread saying something like "if women knew how men perceive them, the would cover themselves with iron armour".

Cheating on your wife (marrying another woman without her knowledge or permission) will surely break your wife's heart and betray her. 

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56 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

who said anything about breaking heart or lying, and what do you mean by betraying?.

You are a sister and you will never understand us men. There was a quote someone posted in another thread saying something like "if women knew how men perceive them, the would cover themselves with iron armour".

a... 

im speechless 

Edited by Noor Taleb

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11 hours ago, notme said:

A wife is not a possession, she is a person.

If the wife is open, talks freely about who she talks with, what she talks about, why would her husband have any fear unless it is just his own insecurities?

this is why I started this thread. To ask the married sisters if their husbands knew about it, and what say they have in it.

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Just now, 2Timeless said:

Cheating on your wife (marrying another woman without her knowledge or permission) will surely break your wife's heart and betray her. 

While obviously not advisable, this is not "cheating", ie committing adultery, Islamically speaking. One actually does not need her permission since it is a right. 

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4 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

Also, you realise we coexist in this universe right? Women and men live together. We all work together, study together, grow up together. Not everything needs to be sexualised and turned into something bigger and deeper than it ever was. 

is that why everything around us is sexualised? just watch all the commercial, tvs kids shows, movies, books, fashion, design, clothes, video games, food, cars, money, clocks, pretty much everything.

even shiachat, look at the "like" emoji its a heart. I know this sounds stupid and funny, but one brother might get a crush from that.

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

is that why everything around us is sexualised? just watch all the commercial, tvs kids shows, movies, books, fashion, design, clothes, video games, food, cars, money, clocks, pretty much everything.

Well there are people who can remain nice even when surrounded by filth 

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Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

is that why everything around us is sexualised? just watch all the commercial, tvs kids shows, movies, books, fashion, design, clothes, video games, food, cars, money, clocks, pretty much everything.

If everyone jumps off a cliff will you too? People used to worship idols, did the Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) too? I couldn't care less if they even sexualised paper! I will not follow in those footsteps, neither should you. Do not sexualise every single Male-femal interaction. Its harmful to society and to oneself. 

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2 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

yes

Brother...if you get your heartbroken by a single like, maybe you should just steer clear off any form of social media. 

Also, I don’t mean it in a rude way at all. I'm sorry if you actually do feel that way. 

Edited by 2Timeless

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