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AkhiraisReal

Males, whats your reason talking to the females

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I am asking this question to every male here. No females.

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work or someone that you have to interact with for a particular reason. And I am not talking about 10 second talks.

As for me, the only reason I would consider talking to females is just to know them and hopefully have a halal relation (mutah or Nikah) with them if needed.

is there any other reason for us men to talk to them?

SISTERS PLEASE STAY OFF THIS THREAD. I DON'T WANT BACK AND FORTH ARGUMENTS/DISCUSSIONS. THIS IS A STRAIGHT FORWARD QUESTION TO MALES ONLY. SISTERS PLEASE STAY OFF.

could a mod please delete the 2 sisters posts

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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37 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

I am asking this question to every male here. No females.

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work.

As for me, the only reason I would consider talking to females is just to know them and hopefully have a halal relation (mutah) with them if needed.

is there any other reason for us men to talk to them?

 wait I kind know what your saying but still it’s not catastrophic to talk to females who may not be your client or sister maybe she is some one who wants your help in some matters etc but I get it now your saying for no reason like these ok yea then maybe for nikkah

my apologies I misunderstood you at first 

Edited by Noor Taleb

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3 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

This is the most weirdest question no offence to you 

you must be really twisted to think that men should only talk to females if they want to be in a relationship with them like seriously brother so weird 

like...  like .... like .... I’m speechless I’ve got no words

from a concerned sister 

lol no wonder, you are a sister. how can you understand us men. its like we are going to understand you sisters. please sisters stay off this tread. don’t reply anymore

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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Maybe try talking to them because they're simply human?

Also, what's the point of this question? How does it add or improve your life or faith in any way? (Just curious).

Edited by 2Timeless

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20 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

lol no wonder, you are a sister. how can you understand us men. its like we are going to understand you sisters.

 

youre messed up to think that we females can’t understand males at all seriously then why marry one remain single 

Edited by Noor Taleb

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22 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

Maybe try talking to them because they're simply human?

Round of applause for you 

:D

YOU SPOKE THE TRUTH

 

Edited by Noor Taleb

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33 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

I am asking this question to every male here. No females.

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work.

As for me, the only reason I would consider talking to females is just to know them and hopefully have a halal relation (mutah) with them if needed.

is there any other reason for us men to talk to them?

SISTERS PLEASE STAY OFF THIS THREAD. I don’t WANT BACK AND FORTH ARGUMENTS/DISCUSSIONS. THIS IS A STRAIGHT FORWARD QUESTION

My apologies 

Edited by Noor Taleb

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25 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

lol no wonder, you are a sister. how can you understand us men. its like we are going to understand you sisters. please sisters stay off this tread. don’t reply anymore

I edited so chill out it’s all cool 

and I won’t reply :sorry:

Edited by Noor Taleb

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(Scroll below to the nutshell for the short answer)

Your question is pretty qualified and conditional. No relation, no client, no 10 second. I guess I'd get into a not-10-second chat when the topic is something really close to heart and I feel a vibe with the other person. E.g. I love ranting and chanting about how Iran is the super-hero country of the world. So if come across a person who shares that feeling, then we'll go on and on. So basically, my reason for talking would be common/shared interests, regardless of lady or man. Being in a long-term relation, I believe in fidelity and loyalty. Once upon a time I used to (social peer pressure) feel that I should approach a lady and get 'the talk' (which leads to exchanging numbers) going. But then I realized I myself don't want that, it's just for the sake of a social 'they all have it, so I should have it' thing.
Nutshell: Your question leaves very limited room to give a reason. I mean, I could give this same answer if you had asked why would I talk to a guy who isn't my client, friend, relation or anything. I would talk if something common comes up. So, yes, I'm not socially ambitious perhaps, I'd talk and approach the same way a guy or a girl if some common interest crops up.

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6 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

lol no wonder, you are a sister.

Thanks. Because of this post l went to her profile. Until now, l thought "nur talib(an)" or (en)lightened student/student light  was a supporter of the Taliban. I never imagine it to be a burqa.

As to the subject of this thread, l only speak to sisters like when I hold the door open for them at the store or the like.

Such as "go ahead sister/uhty".

Reason: because I do not trust anyone of them females so l sure as heck don't want them behind me. As a coward, l am afraid of being knifed or shot by them.

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7 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Maybe try talking to them because they're simply human?

Also, what's the point of this question? How does it add or improve your life or faith in any way? (Just curious).

Ya ghabiya he said no girls. 

I swear I read this thread next thing I see is the first two comments being girls. Thuwel he said it in caps too

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Guest 700

Hmm great question! 

-So, if it's a non-mahram that's a cousin or some relative or someone close to me or my family, then I may do some light and respectful small talk for silat ar rehm and to be informed of each other's affairs. 

-Another reason I'd have to talk to a non-mahram would be if I'm interested in marrying her, so to determine if she'd make a suitable spouse for me... 

-If this is just a random non-mahram then I may talk to her because I feel strongly about a topic being discussed by here, or I just am so passionate about the topic that I somehow just end up discussing it with her...

 

And finally, the answer you may be waiting for :grin::

-Astaghfirullah but I may randomly talk to her when I'm sinning or not being so religious...So, when I subconsciously (or consciously) find her attractive and randomly talk to her to interact and get close to her...

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7 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work or someone that you have to interact with for a particular reason. And I am not talking about 10 second talks.

Hand on heart I don't speak to any females other than ones in the categories you mentioned. 

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On a practical level, I enjoy talking with women more than men, but it is all mostly casual and personal. The female friends I got in my life tend to be more understanding and empathetic than men. To generalize, I usually talk with women about important issues, and joke with men lol.

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19 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

I am asking this question to every male here. No females.

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work or someone that you have to interact with for a particular reason. And I am not talking about 10 second talks.

As for me, the only reason I would consider talking to females is just to know them and hopefully have a halal relation (mutah or Nikah) with them if needed.

When you said "10 second talks" do you mean for example with the cashier at a store?

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2 hours ago, Muhammad ibn Abdul Wahhab said:

When you said "10 second talks" do you mean for example with the cashier at a store?

ye kinda, but again a 10sec talk could also be something more than just a 10sec talk. "flirting"

Edited by AkhiraisReal

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2 hours ago, Soldiers and Saffron said:

"If women knew how men perceived them when they look at them, they would cover themselves with iron armour" - Imam Khomeini (رضي الله عنه)

good quote, where did you get it from.

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11 hours ago, Bakir said:

On a practical level, I enjoy talking with women

With me, this is only true when I know  <---catch the key verb? --  know that in a couple of ways they are smarter than me. Otherwise, you are wasting your time with their pseudo-intellectual babble.

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On 7/28/2019 at 2:06 AM, AkhiraisReal said:

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work or someone that you have to interact with for a particular reason. And I am not talking about 10 second talks.

I do not, and absolutely never did.

Except just once, to be honest, I came across a simply otherworldly woman and could not resist knowing her more. This exception was worth being excepted. So I conversed with her in a gentlemanly fashion over the interwebs. A lot. I could have tried to get closer and as much as I wanted to, comprehensively, I failed to find a practical way to make that possible the way I wanted to. I was already married and did not have the means to sustain another no matter how much I wanted that. So I did not try, being realistic. Then it was all put to rest. That was the only one time ever. This woman had all the right qualities in her. You know. The kind that make you wonder. So intelligent. So strikingly understanding. So many things in common. Such a pious and proper lady. So learned. Who wouldn't want to be with her. Every thing right with her. I could not believe it. So pretty, both of heart and otherwise. Like I wrote, otherworldly. We never talked of anything haraam btw. So I am not sorry of what I dreamed.

Why I did so? I guess it is because I am a man and somewhere inside of me something exists, like a programming perhaps, that made me do such a thing, get attracted to women, especially someone who you would like to grow old and share your life with, a woman of all women alive. I wish there wasn't any humanly desire in me, but there are. Desires and expectations only disappoint and hurt us. But this dream was worth dreaming and had nothing haraam I believe.

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On 7/29/2019 at 7:20 AM, Darth Vader said:

I do not, and absolutely never did.

Except just once, to be honest, I came across a simply otherworldly woman and could not resist knowing her more. This exception was worth being excepted. So I conversed with her in a gentlemanly fashion over the interwebs. A lot. I could have tried to get closer and as much as I wanted to, comprehensively, I failed to find a practical way to make that possible the way I wanted to. I was already married and did not have the means to sustain another no matter how much I wanted that. So I did not try, being realistic. Then it was all put to rest. That was the only one time ever. This woman had all the right qualities in her. You know. The kind that make you wonder. So intelligent. So strikingly understanding. So many things in common. Such a pious and proper lady. So learned. Who wouldn't want to be with her. Every thing right with her. I could not believe it. So pretty, both of heart and otherwise. Like I wrote, otherworldly. We never talked of anything haraam btw. So I am not sorry of what I dreamed.

Why I did so? I guess it is because I am a man and somewhere inside of me something exists, like a programming perhaps, that made me do such a thing, get attracted to women, especially someone who you would like to grow old and share your life with, a woman of all women alive. I wish there wasn't any humanly desire in me, but there are. Desires and expectations only disappoint and hurt us. But this dream was worth dreaming and had nothing haraam I believe.

That was really depressing to read. But who knows, life is strange, maybe you end up with her in the end, if not in dunya then maybe in akhira.

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On 7/28/2019 at 2:06 AM, AkhiraisReal said:

I am asking this question to every male here. No females.

What is your reason talking to females, that you don't have any blood relation with, and that is not your client or part of your profession/work or someone that you have to interact with for a particular reason. And I am not talking about 10 second talks.

As for me, the only reason I would consider talking to females is just to know them and hopefully have a halal relation (mutah or Nikah) with them if needed.

is there any other reason for us men to talk to them?

SISTERS PLEASE STAY OFF THIS THREAD. I DON'T WANT BACK AND FORTH ARGUMENTS/DISCUSSIONS. THIS IS A STRAIGHT FORWARD QUESTION TO MALES ONLY. SISTERS PLEASE STAY OFF.

could a mod please delete the 2 sisters posts

It is not haram to talk to a female if your intentions are not bad. Ulema prevent chat in case a male and female falls into haram things. Talking may be for variety of reasons: knowledge, advice or motivation. If you fear that you are going to fall in haram things, don't talk but if you are sure that there is no harm then its its not haram. Haram is for harm.

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On 7/29/2019 at 7:20 AM, Darth Vader said:

I do not, and absolutely never did.

Except just once, to be honest, I came across a simply otherworldly woman and could not resist knowing her more. This exception was worth being excepted. So I conversed with her in a gentlemanly fashion over the interwebs. A lot. I could have tried to get closer and as much as I wanted to, comprehensively, I failed to find a practical way to make that possible the way I wanted to. I was already married and did not have the means to sustain another no matter how much I wanted that. So I did not try, being realistic. Then it was all put to rest. That was the only one time ever. This woman had all the right qualities in her. You know. The kind that make you wonder. So intelligent. So strikingly understanding. So many things in common. Such a pious and proper lady. So learned. Who wouldn't want to be with her. Every thing right with her. I could not believe it. So pretty, both of heart and otherwise. Like I wrote, otherworldly. We never talked of anything haraam btw. So I am not sorry of what I dreamed.

Why I did so? I guess it is because I am a man and somewhere inside of me something exists, like a programming perhaps, that made me do such a thing, get attracted to women, especially someone who you would like to grow old and share your life with, a woman of all women alive. I wish there wasn't any humanly desire in me, but there are. Desires and expectations only disappoint and hurt us. But this dream was worth dreaming and had nothing haraam I believe.

Been there. Experienced exactly the same thing as you. However, I'm not married. It sadly got severely broken down by the negligence parents have.

I believe my dream was worth dreaming and was worth living. We had no bad intentions. Only to grow old and grumpy together. It was the best time of my life. It gave me enjoyment and character. It shaped me with responsibilities. It made me feel someone, something. I was finally important. A moment in my life - which lasted a year - will haunt me for the rest of my life of the great missed opportunity that wasn't even in my control. 

If I could, just like you, I would remove human emotions and desires to safeguard myself from this experience. But sadly, all I can do is think back and enjoy the moments I had. Never will I forget this. And never will I forget the importance I was to her.

It's depressing it ended. And it's depressing it ended abruptly. Fin.

How can I cry over her departure, when her presence remains? My mind will never forget.

Edited by Khomeinist

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12 minutes ago, Khomeinist said:

Been there. Experienced exactly the same thing as you. However, I'm not married. It sadly got severely broken down by the negligence parents have.

I believe my dream was worth dreaming and was worth living. We had no bad intentions. Only to grow old and grumpy together. It was the best time of my life. It gave me enjoyment and character. It shaped me with responsibilities. It made me feel someone, something. I was finally important. A moment in my life - which lasted a year - will haunt me for the rest of my life of the great missed opportunity that wasn't even in my control. 

If I could, just like you, I would remove human emotions and desires to safeguard myself from this experience. But sadly, all I can do is think back and enjoy the moments I had. Never will I forget this. And never will I forget the importance I was to her.

It's depressing it ended. And it's depressing it ended abruptly. Fin.

How can I cry over her departure, when I do not feel she left at all? My mind will never forget.

Didn't you do anything to stop her ? 

I feel so depressed after hearing your story 

May Allah make it easy for you.

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4 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

Didn't you do anything to stop her ? 

I feel so depressed after hearing your story 

May Allah make it easy for you.

It's a detailed story full of ups and downs. A long journey of hope which was crushed in the ending like a garlic glove. A bitter glove which changed my realities. I felt like a man for once. A desirable man. A man of society. A man backed by a pious woman. But now... I must face the emptiness of society. And only thoughts can refer me back to the moments of strength.

It's a difficult question to answer. In short, no. I  couldn't. Since it was not me who caused it. Nor her. If wanted I can immerse everyone in this experience one day. I usually keep it in myself so others would not feel sorrow or grief or sadness after partaking in such a story. But I can make exceptions.

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1 minute ago, Khomeinist said:

It's a detailed story full of ups and downs. A long journey of hope which was crushed in the ending like a garlic glove. A bitter glove which changed my realities. I felt like a man for once. A desirable man. A man of society. A man backed by a pious woman. But now... I must face the emptiness of society. And only thoughts can refer me back to the moments of strength.

It's a difficult question to answer. In short, no. I  couldn't. Since it was not me who caused it. Nor her. If wanted I can immerse everyone in this experience one day. I usually keep it in myself so others would not feel sorrow or grief or sadness after partaking in such a story. But I can make exceptions.

I thought true love never existed now I have witnessed it.

REKINDLE your relationship brother!

:cry: :cry:

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4 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

I thought true love never existed now I have witnessed it.

REKINDLE your relationship brother!

:cry: :cry:

Even though receiving a glimpse of the feeling of attachment again ignites a gentle but rather wide smile on my face, I believe it would be impossible due to the nature of parents. They do not experience the sorrow and pain their offspring does.

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