Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
arch1027116

Do all Shia men want a working wife?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

I’ve come to notice that almost all men want a working wife. Lately, a lot of alliances have rejected my sister because she doesn’t work or because she wears hijab. What kind of era are we living in where the woman is expected to work in order to support her family or she is meant to be a trophy wife by exposing her beauty! I’d like to hear the men’s opinion on this issue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, arch1027116 said:

I’ve come to notice that almost all men want a working wife. Lately, a lot of alliances have rejected my sister because she doesn’t work or because she wears hijab. What kind of era are we living in where the woman is expected to work in order to support her family or she is meant to be a trophy wife by exposing her beauty! I’d like to hear the men’s opinion on this issue.

no not all men want working wife. the reason for this is because it's the husbands duty to support and I would prefer less contact of non mahram with my wife.

Muslim men don't want their wives to wear hijab? so that she can show her beauty to others?

this is really sad.

a Muslim woman with proper hijab which involves more than just clothes, is like a rare diamond. those who can't see their value don't know diamonds

 

Edited by AkhiraisReal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Ibn al-Hussain said:

Where is this occurring? I have not seen this being a major phenomenon amongst religious men. The girls usually want to work now a days and it is more of a challenge to get them to stay at home at times.

the reason the girls want to work is because the society want them to work and programmes them from their early age that career is the most important thing. So they can help bring in the tax money otherwise 50% of tax money is gone. this was how modern feminism started.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whether a wife works outside the home or not is absolutely 100% her choice. Even if she earns more than him, her husband is still obligated to provide for wife, children, and home. She can change her mind at any time too, so if she's been working outside and decides to stay home, or if she's been staying home and decides to go out and work, either is perfectly fine and neither changes the husband's obligation.

But there are definitely benefits to the children to choose an educated wife, all other things being equal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

the reason the girls want to work is because the society want them to work and programmes them from their early age that career is the most important thing. So they can help bring in the tax money otherwise 50% of tax money is gone. this was how modern feminism started. watch specially the first 1-2 minutes of this video and pay attention to what aaron russo says.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
39 minutes ago, notme said:

Whether a wife works outside the home or not is absolutely 100% her choice. Even if she earns more than him, her husband is still obligated to provide for wife, children, and home. She can change her mind at any time too, so if she's been working outside and decides to stay home, or if she's been staying home and decides to go out and work, either is perfectly fine and neither changes the husband's obligation.

But there are definitely benefits to the children to choose an educated wife, all other things being equal.

isn't it better that the husband and wife talk about this and that they both make an agreement before wife decides to work.

besides doesn't the wife need husbands permission to leave house

what do you mean by benefits to children to choose and educated wife?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

isn't it better that the husband and wife talk about this and that they both make an agreement before wife decides to work.

besides doesn't the wife need husbands permission to leave house

what do you mean by benefits to children to choose and educated wife?

Yes indeed she needs permission to leave the house buuuuuut work is her right not something the husband can deny without a valid reason, before you come for me let me inform you that many times the reason of not allowing her to work is insecurity and I'm a man you are a woman! how dare you challenge my authority blah blah blah  sorry I don't agree with this. Secondly educated women educate the entire generation so I think you go the answer. 

PEACE !

:clap:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, arch1027116 said:

I’ve come to notice that almost all men want a working wife. Lately, a lot of alliances have rejected my sister because she doesn’t work or because she wears hijab. What kind of era are we living in where the woman is expected to work in order to support her family or she is meant to be a trophy wife by exposing her beauty! I’d like to hear the men’s opinion on this issue.

Things are way to expensive in this day and age to be just 1 in the family working. My parents work in the same building. My mom Cooks, cleans, takes online classes, and still attends work. She does a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

work is her right not something the husband can deny without a valid reason

This doesn't seems to be correct brother. Husband has authority over wife so if he denies her even without any valid reason, she cannot work. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Sirius_Bright said:

This doesn't seems to be correct brother. Husband has authority over wife so if he denies her even without any valid reason, she cannot work. 

Sister*

oh really thanks for letting me know much appreciated 

 

Edited by Noor Taleb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Quran313 said:

Ansolutely, not. Housewives are doing difficult job. Taking care of the house is the job of Hazrat Fatimah Zahra. Housewives are top women in todays westernized society. Unfortunately, some men don't seem to understand it. It's shameful for a man to ask his wife to take off her hijab. 

thank you brother, agree

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Sirius_Bright said:

 Husband has authority over wife so if he denies her even without any valid reason, she cannot work. 

Why would a reasonable man deny his wife the right to go out of the house or work? Insecurity maybe or self esteem issues on his part.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, starlight said:

Why would a reasonable man deny his wife the right to go out of the house or work? Insecurity maybe or self esteem issues on his part.

sister did you watch the video I linked? do you know why society push so much on woman to work?

it isn't about denying the wife to work. there is more to it. But again it depends on the person you are married to.

why is it that when men are protective of their wives for their sake, people start to say they have insecurity issues or low self esteem.

 

Edited by AkhiraisReal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

sister did you watch the video I linked? do you know why society push so much on woman to work?

No,I am sorry I didn't. I am always around people and hence normally can't watch videos. 

9 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

why is it that when men are protective of their wives for their sake, people start to say they have insecurity issues or low self esteem.

Because in lots of cases, they do. There is nothing wrong with a woman working per se. Husbands shouldn't have a problem with that. It's the nature of work that can be a issue but this is always something that can be worked out provided the husband is supportive and not standing in the way just because he has the right. For example, if a wife has a degree in IT and he doesn't want her working a 9-5 job in a potentially haram environment he can encourage her to start her own work. I know women in Pakistan who work as web developers from home. They meet clients sometimes at home or other times outside in restaurants etc and they might not be making as much money as a full time job but the ones I know are happy that they are still working in their fields. Similarly for doctors, if working in a hospital isn't acceptable to the husband given the very long working hours they can think about other alternatives. 

I know lots of working wives personally since I am a working woman myself and what I can tell you is that very few women work because of 'feminist' reasons(at least in the part of world where I live). The top most reason is women want to utilize their education and keep in touch with their area of work. I think most men fail to realize how important this is for someone who has spent almost all her life working hard for that degree. Why can't men meet women halfway? If she feels happy and fulfilled your home life will be happy. So instead of' I am the husband and I have the right to say when you can and can not leave home' say ' let's look at the part time options, or maybe volunteer work, or online work or I am willing to fund a small home based business and help convert the basement/garage into an office'  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, starlight said:

 

 There is nothing wrong with a woman working per se. Husbands shouldn't have a problem with that. It's the nature of work that can be a issue but this is always something that can be worked out provided the husband is supportive and not standing in the way just because he has the right.  

With great power comes great responsibility. 

What you said above was good and I agree. But not many sisters has those possibilities. Nor are many husbands flexible like that. For most unfortunately  it's either to work 9-5 or not work at all. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

But not many sisters has those possibilities. Nor are many husbands flexible like that. For most unfortunately  it's either to work 9-5 or not work at all. 

Well, not everyone but lots of them do. These days with everything going online even medical consultation there are so many options only if one explores them.Husbands should be flexible and so should be wives. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, starlight said:

 

I know lots of working wives personally since I am a working woman myself and what I can tell you is that very few women work because of 'feminist' reasons(at least in the part of world where I live).

Thats not what I meant with the video. Please watch when possible. 

Point is, few decades ago its was a norm for women to stay at home and be housewife and take care and teach their kids. But nowadays that has changed, and there is very good reason for that. Which they go through in the video the first 1-2 minutes. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Thats not what I meant with the video. Please watch when possible. 

Point is, few decades ago its was a norm for women to stay at home and be housewife and take care and teach their kids. But nowadays that has changed, and there is very good reason for that. Which they go through in the video the first 1-2 minutes. 

 

Okay, I watched the video. I already know of the things which he was talking about, had read them elsewhere sometime back. So he's identified the problem and reason behind it but what solution do we have. " I am the husband so I have the right to stop you from working" ? or "I am the husband and we need to start the college funds for kids, an extra income would be good, why don't you start working?"  I do not disagree with the video, I am merely disagreeing with the approach Muslim men take if their wives wish to work. Wives are humans, they cannot be started or stopped from working on command. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Thats not what I meant with the video. Please watch when possible. 

Point is, few decades ago its was a norm for women to stay at home and be housewife and take care and teach their kids. But nowadays that has changed, and there is very good reason for that. Which they go through in the video the first 1-2 minutes. 

 

Okay, I watched the video. I already know of the things which he was talking about, had read them elsewhere sometime back. So he's identified the problem and reason behind it but what solution do we have. " I am the husband so I have the right to stop you from working" ? or "I am the husband and we need to start the college funds for kids, an extra income would be good, why don't you start working?"  I do not disagree with the video, I am merely disagreeing with the approach Muslim men take if their wives wish to work. Wives are humans, not robots or slaves, they cannot start or stop working on command. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally don’t mind if my future wife want to work even tho I don’t want her to work. 

 

Nowadays, some women are working because they are not getting their rights. Example, my sister is trying to search for a job because my father is not wasting on her. Same thing for my aunt, she is working because her husband and her children are not wasting on her. My sister friend is working because she was starving everyday and her father was planning to let her marry an old man. It’s been 2 years of her working and now this month she will get engaged from the man she loves.

 

I feel like some men are not doing their jobs as a husband/Father/Son.

Edited by Diaz

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

isn't it better that the husband and wife talk about this and that they both make an agreement before wife decides to work.

besides doesn't the wife need husbands permission to leave house

what do you mean by benefits to children to choose and educated wife?

Yes, it is better that they discuss and agree, just as it's better that they discuss and agree before the husband decides to relocate the family, even though doing so is his right. There is more to life than absolutes.

And yes, the wife needs her husband's permission to go out, but no man is going to imprison his wife. Only a bully child would attempt that, not a man.

Children get most of their earliest education from their mother. A mother who knows more produces children who know more and know how to learn and seek out information more. Obviously, this isn't the most important factor, it's less important than a mother being compassionate or faithful, but all other things being equal, a knowledgeable/educated mother is better than an ignorant one.

Edited by notme

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, notme said:

Yes, it is better that they discuss and agree, just as it's better that they discuss and agree before the husband decides to relocate the family, even though doing so is his right. There is more to life than absolutes.

And yes, the wife needs her husband's permission to go out, but no man is going to imprison his wife. Only a bully child would attempt that, not a man.

 

 

You are correct. Why would we want to imprison our wives? When our own mothers and grandmothers are women. So there is obviously more to it. Unfortunately some take advantage of this position they have. I am not perfect myself. 

 

32 minutes ago, notme said:

 

Children get most of their earliest education from their mother. A mother who knows more produces children who know more and know how to learn and seek out information more. Obviously, this isn't the most important factor, it's less important than a mother being compassionate or faithful, but all other things being equal, a knowledgeable/educated mother is better than an ignorant one.

What's a knowledgeable/educated mother? Someone with university or college degree? 

There is more knowledge a mother can get outside the university and college. 

University and college have monopoly on education but not knowledge. 

Knowledge you can get anywhere. 

University and college degree doesn't say much of the mother she's going to be. It's just a piece of paper anyone can get with enough dedication. 

Children need smart loving mother that hasn't been brainwashed into the thinking of everyone else. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, arch1027116 said:

I’ve come to notice that almost all men want a working wife. Lately, a lot of alliances have rejected my sister because she doesn’t work or because she wears hijab. What kind of era are we living in where the woman is expected to work in order to support her family or she is meant to be a trophy wife by exposing her beauty! I’d like to hear the men’s opinion on this issue.

I will probably prefer my wife to be at home but if she wants to work, I have no right to stop her as per Islamic law. . 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Quran313 said:

Housewives are top women in todays westernized society. 

I don't think it's right to mak that generalisation. Some housewives live in their husbands mansions with babysitters bringing up their children. Other housewives do everything alone with no help from their husbands and family members. Some women work and bring up their children and cook for them etc. As long as a mother is trying her best at raising her children in the way she sees fit, as far as I'm concerned, she is at the best women in our society. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
38 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Children need smart loving mother that hasn't been brainwashed into the thinking of everyone else. 

Getting an education and being an independent and strong individual doesnt make anyone a brainwashed person. Also, just because a video might link working women to some conspiracy theory (havent watched the video, I'm assuming that's what it's doing) it doesnt mean its right. 

If a woman wants to work, then she has the right to do so. If that woman happens to be a mother, then she will find a way to navigate through motherhood and her career. Many woman do so successfully and many women will continue to do so successfully. There is such a thing as part time work, volunteering etc. A woman's only function is not to just breed children. Women are vital members of society who can also contribute in other ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

What's a knowledgeable/educated mother? Someone with university or college degree? 

There is more knowledge a mother can get outside the university and college.  

I agree that a university is not the only way to become educated. It might be the easiest because of access to guidance, libraries, and expert scholars, but a person can be self educated if she is dedicated to knowledge.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Children need smart loving mother that hasn't been brainwashed into the thinking of everyone else. 

What was a smart, independent thinker doing with her life before she got married? Spending her days sitting at home, reading books? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Some housewives live in their husbands mansions with babysitters bringing up their children

So, Do children belong to only father ? you are implying babysitting their children...don't they have any obligation to help those whom they have given birth ? Instead of leaving those children to the mother of her husband....Mothers marry their sons to help them not that they raise the children of their sons. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally think its better to have a mother to be there for her children instead of sending them off to day cares and let society raise them.

Not all people have the financial possibilities for this though. Regardless we have sunnah to rely on and I don't think sending your wives to mixed gender work places, especially those with people who don’t know God given boundaries, is a good idea unless there's no other option.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...