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In the Name of God بسم الله
Jannat786

The closer I try to get to Allah the more depressed I get

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Guest theObserver
1 hour ago, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum! 

I’ve recently put in extra effort to get closer to God but I feel like the more I try the more depressed I get. Before I would pray my 5 prayers but not always on time and not with proper concentration, I’d sometimes recite a dua or two on the odd occasion and that’s it. I felt disconnected from God so I tried to put in an effort to improve my connection with Him, I now pray all my Namaz on time and even wake up for Tahajjud prayers, I recite ziyarat e Ashura every night and try to recite Qur'an everyday but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me. I just feel so down nowadays. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I know I should be grateful that Allah has given me this chance and the strength to get closer to Him. Is this normal?? Please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

I have the answers to your questions but the shiachat mods pick and choose when to publish my answers even if that means that they may block mine and the question remains unanswered , clearly too much ego here not enough justice

okay im going to use an out of Islam example to provide you with an answer but it stil stands

all people outside of the realm of Islam are not run and controlled by another God and that Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) only deals with us in a way suitable to Muslims, no this is not the case all follow the same path

Buddha says that the period of suffering is 6 years IF you work at it non stop, he worked at it all day and night to get out of the period of suffering and that is with full 24 hour focus of trying to purify himself to reach a place called "nirvanah" which really is a place of inner peace , what your looking for is that place of inner peace, being content, so that even if you only pray 2 rakaats a day those 2 rakaats are so powerfull so beautifull so full that they can fill up your cup of spirituality and make it overflow with such peace and beauty that it feels like the face of your Lord is beaming his beautifull beams of mercy as if He was right in your face and that He allows you to reach into this beauty for as long as you want to fill and drunk from this cup

this what I am describing is an actual state you can reach internally, but there is always a catch isnt there? how much do you desire the world? would you be happy to know that you wont feel the same towards anything material ever again? that no material thing even that which is halal will ever make you happy? that all your pleasure will come strictly from this spiritual place which opens like a river in your heart? and that the material world will only make u more and more unhappy?

here is the thing, its not about how much prayer you pray , how much duas you read, how many nights u spend with little sleep up on your feet seeking the heavens to open to you

its not about numbers, God doesnt need your sleepless nights and your numerous prayers and your endless fasts, and the ego that they bring for a person who continues to acknowledge how much he/she is doing them

all of that means nothing, all of that is not the end of the means, all of that is the means to the end, you need to use these things as tools to break through all your veils, we all have them packed in tightly differently , and when you break them, no world scenario can ever make u unhappy

when you say "oh the most powerfull" in dhikr what exactly are you saying it against? are you just saying it without any feeling to it? without attaching it to any weakness inside you?

your weakness is what doesnt allow the water to flow from your heart to your soul, you need to find those things which are wrong in you, whatvere they may be, maybe they are gluttony maybe they are lust, maybe they are laziness, maybe they are desire, maybe they are lack of confidence in whatever this world bothers you, maybe they are fear, maybe they are wants and needs

you need to address these things inside you and aim your prayer your dhikr towards them, if you feel like your just not good enough THEN you sit down with yourself and you focus all your thoughts and energy on this feeling and you attack it with "oh the most powerfull" you read this dhikr 100 times so that each word has a powerfull meaning that slowly changes this internal feeling, that builds a bridge where teh gap is, and you address all of your issues , and you MUST believe that it will work you MUST believe "in the most powerfull" you cannot doubt it while you read it, you cannot believ that your misery and depression is never going to be able to be overcome by this infinite being as if your own woes are an infinite God more powerfull than the one you have been taught and know about

you have to BELIEVE in God trultfully you MUST allow faith into your heart, and you will see how at one moment God accepts your dhikr sincerelyt and SHOWS you just HOW powerfull He is and makes these words melt all your problems and fills your chest with noor and you will feel like you can lift off and fly from the ground

do this type of dhikr do THIS type of prayer AIM these dhikrs and prayers at your heart and do it repeatedly until it STICKS then you will ALWAYS feel happy and content and satisfied and whenever evil or misery tries to bring you down, with just a thought you will bring yourself up above the clouds

THIS Is when faith enters a persons heart and this is when 2 rakaat prayer is so pwoerfull that it can heal the sick and bring back to life the dead including dead hearts

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Guest theObserver
24 minutes ago, starlight said:

You are a guest and that means all your posts are previewed before publishing.

God doesn't even need 2 rakats from us so I don't know what you are basing your whole argument on. Salat ul layl is a very highly recommended act of worship. There is a reason why Masoomeen (عليه السلام) advised their Shia to pray in the night, why are you downplaying it?

you didnt understand my point

I said God DOESNT NEED your.....

but YOU need those things thats your handle to reach Him , however people that tend to do these actions merge these two ideas inadvertently , they have to dis-attach the idea that your doing it for Him, and count them and base their value on their repetition

I am trying to separate the bad from good in the mind, to purify the action and this is how a person needs to do it, by accepting that your prayer is in actuality worthless to God, your not affecting God by your action, but in order for you to REACH those spiritual realms you need to do them, and the problem is that when the two ideas are merged , people tend to focus on numbers and not the impact of it

this philosophy I am describing is easy to accept mentally but not practically it takes a long time for a person to make this separation and actually this is the place where the door opens when these two walls are split

but truly understood and split and accepted practically because naturally everyone thinks "I did the action I got up for the action, I completed the action" and hence immediately subconsciously expects something to happen something ot change

hence actually the person is squeezing the doors shut upon himself

this is why breaking of the nafs is very important prior to engaging in worship, the nafs actually stops the person teachings higher goals

and when this becomes a habit it becomes a very bad habit to break and so many people never get out of it, and eventually get angry annoyed, and eventually give up even that action and become distanced from God nurturing a kind of spite towards God which then allows the shahyatan to come in and make them to do evil acts easier, cause disbelief sets in like a burnt layer of the bottom of a pan of cooking rice 

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2 hours ago, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum! 

I’ve recently put in extra effort to get closer to God but I feel like the more I try the more depressed I get. Before I would pray my 5 prayers but not always on time and not with proper concentration, I’d sometimes recite a dua or two on the odd occasion and that’s it. I felt disconnected from God so I tried to put in an effort to improve my connection with Him, I now pray all my Namaz on time and even wake up for Tahajjud prayers, I recite ziyarat e Ashura every night and try to recite Qur'an everyday but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me. I just feel so down nowadays. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I know I should be grateful that Allah has given me this chance and the strength to get closer to Him. Is this normal?? Please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

sellam :) 

Everyone, regardless of which faith they follow go through spiritual highs and lows, even the most religious of people. We are, after all, humans. We make mistakes and we try to learn from it. I think its really nice that youre putting all that effort and It wont go unnoticed by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), for Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) notices even the smallest of blessings that we do or give or create, just watering a flower can purify your heart and take you closer to God. 

Although you don’t feel its enough, and you feel guilty, that shows that you love your faith and God because you seek His approval and Satisfaction.

The Prophet saws went through a period of time where he didnt get any message from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and he became upset. So as to your question, Is it normal? Yes. We all go through this. 

My personal advice from experience would be give yourself time and allow yourself to find inner peace through prayer and supplication by *knowing, understanding and loving* what you say to God. 

Look around you and Count your blessings. Whenever I feel ungrateful, and feel guilty, I look at the clothes I have on, I feel my toes, the couch im sitting on, the fact that I know who God is, I think of the mother I have, the siblings, maybe even friends, the pictures on the wall, the breathing living plants and animals outside, and I say alhamdulilah for each one. 

don’t worry, you are never alone. Allah bless you and be with you

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Guest theObserver
17 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

sellam :) 

Everyone, regardless of which faith they follow go through spiritual highs and lows, even the most religious of people. We are, after all, humans. We make mistakes and we try to learn from it. I think its really nice that youre putting all that effort and It wont go unnoticed by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), for Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) notices even the smallest of blessings that we do or give or create, just watering a flower can purify your heart and take you closer to God. 

Although you don’t feel its enough, and you feel guilty, that shows that you love your faith and God because you seek His approval and Satisfaction.

The Prophet saws went through a period of time where he didnt get any message from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and he became upset. So as to your question, Is it normal? Yes. We all go through this. 

My personal advice from experience would be give yourself time and allow yourself to find inner peace through prayer and supplication by *knowing, understanding and loving* what you say to God. 

Look around you and Count your blessings. Whenever I feel ungrateful, and feel guilty, I look at the clothes I have on, I feel my toes, the couch im sitting on, the fact that I know who God is, I think of the mother I have, the siblings, maybe even friends, the pictures on the wall, the breathing living plants and animals outside, and I say alhamdulilah for each one. 

don’t worry, you are never alone. Allah bless you and be with you

this what your describing is not the answer, this is materialism based faith

what happens when you start to get old or sick or you lose your wealth in this world and your the only person in your vicinity who has it bad? you wont be able to find motivation to be pleased with God cause your training yourself to be content on the basis that your healthy/wel fed/wel clothed/roof over your head etc

how do you be like Imam Husayn((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) when in Kerbala youve sacrificed your children and friends and about to sacrifice your own life with wounds bleedings and pain overcoming your body and death slowly setting in?

where do you find the pool of kawthar now? cause if you havetn established this faith up until this point its going to be very hard to find it in a few moments

you need to uncover the veils before you come to such a position where even if your whole world is crumbling yoru satisfaction is not based on this life but on the infinity of God,

this is what all people should be searching for , because when you die if you havent achieved this its not going to be just given to you cause your dead, you will only find yourself in darkness and confusion and in blindness and misery cause you havent reached out for this

a person who attains this state, this state becomes the light in your grave in your barzakh, this satisfaction and beauty becomes the food and water that feeds you and keeps you feeling happy and satisfied and protected and cozy

you need to have established these things before you die or you will awake to find yourself in ignorance and darkness and emptiness , death only removes the veils of self consciousness but it doesnt automatically give you spiritual stations and removal of veils between God and you, its in those veils once you reove that you find heaven, but you must achieve that here

why did the Imam say in his hadeeth "we fear for our Shia during ther timein barzakh" and that very few will be spared the suffering of the grave

because very foew occupied their time in this life with getting to know God and closer to Him and instead their life goals were just as material as the pagans disbeliever and kufar, really their life is no different in therms of what they seek and live for

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17 minutes ago, Guest theObserver said:

this what your describing is not the answer, this is materialism based faith

what happens when you start to get old or sick or you lose your wealth in this world and your the only person in your vicinity who has it bad? you wont be able to find motivation to be pleased with God cause your training yourself to be content on the basis that your healthy/wel fed/wel clothed/roof over your head etc

how do you be like Imam Husayn((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) when in Kerbala youve sacrificed your children and friends and about to sacrifice your own life with wounds bleedings and pain overcoming your body and death slowly setting in?

where do you find the pool of kawthar now? cause if you havetn established this faith up until this point its going to be very hard to find it in a few moments

you need to uncover the veils before you come to such a position where even if your whole world is crumbling yoru satisfaction is not based on this life but on the infinity of God,

this is what all people should be searching for , because when you die if you havent achieved this its not going to be just given to you cause your dead, you will only find yourself in darkness and confusion and in blindness and misery cause you havent reached out for this

a person who attains this state, this state becomes the light in your grave in your barzakh, this satisfaction and beauty becomes the food and water that feeds you and keeps you feeling happy and satisfied and protected and cozy

you need to have established these things before you die or you will awake to find yourself in ignorance and darkness and emptiness , death only removes the veils of self consciousness but it doesnt automatically give you spiritual stations and removal of veils between God and you, its in those veils once you reove that you find heaven, but you must achieve that here

why did the Imam say in his hadeeth "we fear for our Shia during ther timein barzakh" and that very few will be spared the suffering of the grave

because very foew occupied their time in this life with getting to know God and closer to Him and instead their life goals were just as material as the pagans disbeliever and kufar, really their life is no different in therms of what they seek and live for

I agree to disagree. You have some truth to what youre saying, but youre not getting the point.

Being thankful and grateful, doing good deeds and giving blessings gets you closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) by anything you do, every action you take as long as Bismillah is said, for good, in the name of God. 

Youre only talking about the grave and the disbelievers, darkness and death.

This isn't the question here. She is talking about spiritual lows and how she can feel the spiritual high. If its normal or not. In which it is normal. The point is that she is trying and Allah is graceful to notice our deeds for Him to get closer to Him no matter how small. Like I said, even planting a seed is full of blessings. 

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39 minutes ago, Guest theObserver said:

this what your describing is not the answer, this is materialism based faith

what happens when you start to get old or sick or you lose your wealth in this world and your the only person in your vicinity who has it bad? you wont be able to find motivation to be pleased with God cause your training yourself to be content on the basis that your healthy/wel fed/wel clothed/roof over your head etc

how do you be like Imam Husayn((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) when in Kerbala youve sacrificed your children and friends and about to sacrifice your own life with wounds bleedings and pain overcoming your body and death slowly setting in?

where do you find the pool of kawthar now? cause if you havetn established this faith up until this point its going to be very hard to find it in a few moments

you need to uncover the veils before you come to such a position where even if your whole world is crumbling yoru satisfaction is not based on this life but on the infinity of God,

this is what all people should be searching for , because when you die if you havent achieved this its not going to be just given to you cause your dead, you will only find yourself in darkness and confusion and in blindness and misery cause you havent reached out for this

a person who attains this state, this state becomes the light in your grave in your barzakh, this satisfaction and beauty becomes the food and water that feeds you and keeps you feeling happy and satisfied and protected and cozy

you need to have established these things before you die or you will awake to find yourself in ignorance and darkness and emptiness , death only removes the veils of self consciousness but it doesnt automatically give you spiritual stations and removal of veils between God and you, its in those veils once you reove that you find heaven, but you must achieve that here

why did the Imam say in his hadeeth "we fear for our Shia during ther timein barzakh" and that very few will be spared the suffering of the grave

because very foew occupied their time in this life with getting to know God and closer to Him and instead their life goals were just as material as the pagans disbeliever and kufar, really their life is no different in therms of what they seek and live for

She's describing how to be grateful given the situation she's in. There is no materialism involved unless being thankful for clothes is all of a sudden a materialistic matter. You're missing the point and for some odd reason being awfully defensive about it. Not everyone has a linear vision that will lead them to heaven without difficulties. Most if not all our decisions in this life are based on incentives we can benefit from here and now, even religion. We seek out religion and faith to understand more about ourselves and life and to live life with a clear conscious. So telling someone to strengthen their faith because of death, after-life and sacrifices made in this world is most probably not going to help.

Simply put, Jannat786 is asking how to help their spirituality grow and the way I see it, that's a road we must all take individually so I highly doubt anything I say will really help in that regard besides to just lay down in silence and think. Just think and perhaps you may understand why you feel the way you do. 

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Guest theObserver
45 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

I agree to disagree. You have some truth to what youre saying, but youre not getting the point.

Being thankful and grateful, doing good deeds and giving blessings gets you closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) by anything you do, every action you take as long as Bismillah is said, for good, in the name of God. 

Youre only talking about the grave and the disbelievers, darkness and death.

This isn't the question here. She is talking about spiritual lows and how she can feel the spiritual high. If its normal or not. In which it is normal. The point is that she is trying and Allah is graceful to notice our deeds for Him to get closer to Him no matter how small. Like I said, even planting a seed is full of blessings. 

spirituality is not an easy thing to achieve, you have to strive very hard to achieve even a very small portion of it, it takes ALOT of sacrifice of the self, including even things like pleasures in this world, and each persons path is different to reach the outskirts of material satisfaction and dunya satisfaction and begin to open the heart to spiritual stations and then move towards them

its a very difficult path, I have been struggling with it for many years and even when you see a glimmer of those things you seek, once they fade away you don’t have as much as a memory left of it to even bring back what it felt like or looked like, it takes SEVERE sincerity that just to achieve this sincerity is very difficult, this kind of sincerity begins when you have total control of your nafs, where your nafs is in your hand and you cna throw it around how you want, but when you reach these prerequisites you are then swayed by a different kind of temperament

and to hold ur self steady at this point is far harder than when dealing with desires and lusts and other inclinations to do with the material its a hard place between difficulty and hardship, and takes so much concentration focus, patience, suffering to master it

usually those who taste these things that alone can take on a form of self contention and can turn into a bubble made from steel that doesnt let you go forward, cause thje thought that you have touched something that very few men in the realm of men have touched can be a disassociate from going further , its like "I did something that the majority don’t even know exist and I can glance at some of its crumbs" and hence the person gets stuck and can’t go forward anymore despite that a curiosity drives you there, but the hardship quickly turns you away from it

it is truly hard to travel in this path, and as soon as you make progress a hundred things fall upon you which become you own self made prison, even just ideas which are hard to be separated from

and no imagine if its this hard in this life to do this, how much more difficult it will be in barzakh where you will be made to travel it and its forms taken on real things which can rip you apart and those spiritual pains turn into physical torture as you try to pul away from your deeply misguided self induced disbelief that you don’t even know existed in you

again your basing your faith in this world, kind of like how a person basis his health on a "really good doctor he knows" or his wealth on "his financial economic knoweldge" which he/she attributes as coming from God but really these are all faith based in the realm of material life

its not true faith, its not things you can take into the real world, the barzakh world on your path to everlasting adobe

if you could see what I am talking about and how it melts all the belief you have and reveal its true nature of the heart to you, you would understand what I am talking about

you don’t realize how much your betting upon things which are not real faith based but material based , you don’t even see how much value your putting to things which are valueless

your directions are wrong and your understanding is limited, you need to reconsider yourself and need to know yourself better , cause the one who knows himself knows his Lord

your is a faith not based on the faith of Imam Husayn, where you can just let go of this world altogether immediately and not feel at loss, your the kind of person who cries at a funeral when somebody u know dies for weeks after the burial, despite that the Imams saying don’t cry at funerals u put the soul at unease , the Imams didnt cry after the death they cried during the suffering of the person such as Imam Husayn, and they advised us to do the same, they don’t cry at loss of this world

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To use a poor analogy, you don't get to "level up" without defeating any bosses. The path to God is filled with hurdles we must overcome, physical and mental. I take this as a good sign, your faith and patience is being tested. Please push through the discomfort.

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11 hours ago, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum! 

I’ve recently put in extra effort to get closer to God but I feel like the more I try the more depressed I get. Before I would pray my 5 prayers but not always on time and not with proper concentration, I’d sometimes recite a dua or two on the odd occasion and that’s it. I felt disconnected from God so I tried to put in an effort to improve my connection with Him, I now pray all my Namaz on time and even wake up for Tahajjud prayers, I recite ziyarat e Ashura every night and try to recite Qur'an everyday but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me. I just feel so down nowadays. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I know I should be grateful that Allah has given me this chance and the strength to get closer to Him. Is this normal?? Please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

Perhaps, you are missing the vital element of these worships. That is to say when you come to prayer, pray with philosophy of prayer in mind. When you recite Surah Hamd, recall why you say Bismillah because Allah was first who created and every begjning shall be with his name. Discipline yourself with Salah. Recite Ziyarah with translation and ask yourself why u r paying slams,? Understand Qur'an through translation 

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Salaams,

Don't pressure yourself so hard to feel that elusive inner peace, and don't tell yourself that its absence means you aren't deeply beloved by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) or that your worship isn't being accepted.  Remind yourself that Allah is so Merciful and Benevolent, every action you're doing for His pleasure is worthwhile and important for its own sake, even if you don't see or feel immediate results.  Sometimes, if we worship with an underlying motive of becoming happier or gaining inner peace, it backfires because we aren't worshiping Him with true clarity- our desire becomes a barrier between us and Him as we start to seek it more than we seek Him- and we can't connect as deeply as we should, or our connection becomes weakened by self-doubt and guilt.

An exercise that genuinely helps is spending a few moments each day reflecting on things you're grateful to Him for.  This can be a silent, internal reflection, or you can make it a point to create a list in a gratitude journal each day- doing the latter is especially effective.  In the Qur'an, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) promises us: "If you are grateful, I will surely give you more and more" (14:7) and "So remember Me; I will remember you." (2:152) 

Perhaps as a living manifestation of such verses, mindfully expressing gratitude can cut through the worst of spiritual lows.  Maybe because it serves as a reminder that even when we doubt our own worthiness, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is always covering us with His blessings and mercy, we're just often too distracted to notice.

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19 hours ago, Guest theObserver said:

spirituality is not an easy thing to achieve, you have to strive very hard to achieve even a very small portion of it, it takes ALOT of sacrifice of the self, including even things like pleasures in this world, and each persons path is different to reach the outskirts of material satisfaction and dunya satisfaction and begin to open the heart to spiritual stations and then move towards them

its a very difficult path, I have been struggling with it for many years and even when you see a glimmer of those things you seek, once they fade away you don’t have as much as a memory left of it to even bring back what it felt like or looked like, it takes SEVERE sincerity that just to achieve this sincerity is very difficult, this kind of sincerity begins when you have total control of your nafs, where your nafs is in your hand and you cna throw it around how you want, but when you reach these prerequisites you are then swayed by a different kind of temperament

and to hold ur self steady at this point is far harder than when dealing with desires and lusts and other inclinations to do with the material its a hard place between difficulty and hardship, and takes so much concentration focus, patience, suffering to master it

usually those who taste these things that alone can take on a form of self contention and can turn into a bubble made from steel that doesnt let you go forward, cause thje thought that you have touched something that very few men in the realm of men have touched can be a disassociate from going further , its like "I did something that the majority don’t even know exist and I can glance at some of its crumbs" and hence the person gets stuck and can’t go forward anymore despite that a curiosity drives you there, but the hardship quickly turns you away from it

it is truly hard to travel in this path, and as soon as you make progress a hundred things fall upon you which become you own self made prison, even just ideas which are hard to be separated from

and no imagine if its this hard in this life to do this, how much more difficult it will be in barzakh where you will be made to travel it and its forms taken on real things which can rip you apart and those spiritual pains turn into physical torture as you try to pul away from your deeply misguided self induced disbelief that you don’t even know existed in you

again your basing your faith in this world, kind of like how a person basis his health on a "really good doctor he knows" or his wealth on "his financial economic knoweldge" which he/she attributes as coming from God but really these are all faith based in the realm of material life

its not true faith, its not things you can take into the real world, the barzakh world on your path to everlasting adobe

if you could see what I am talking about and how it melts all the belief you have and reveal its true nature of the heart to you, you would understand what I am talking about

you don’t realize how much your betting upon things which are not real faith based but material based , you don’t even see how much value your putting to things which are valueless

your directions are wrong and your understanding is limited, you need to reconsider yourself and need to know yourself better , cause the one who knows himself knows his Lord

your is a faith not based on the faith of Imam Husayn, where you can just let go of this world altogether immediately and not feel at loss, your the kind of person who cries at a funeral when somebody u know dies for weeks after the burial, despite that the Imams saying don’t cry at funerals u put the soul at unease , the Imams didnt cry after the death they cried during the suffering of the person such as Imam Husayn, and they advised us to do the same, they don’t cry at loss of this world

Again, you are missing the point. I think you should read over the question she is asking and also reflect on the point I’m trying to make

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13 hours ago, Flying_Eagle said:

Perhaps, you are missing the vital element of these worships. That is to say when you come to prayer, pray with philosophy of prayer in mind. When you recite Surah Hamd, recall why you say Bismillah because Allah was first who created and every begjning shall be with his name. Discipline yourself with Salah. Recite Ziyarah with translation and ask yourself why u r paying slams,? Understand Qur'an through translation 

Whilst praying I keep the translations of all the surahs in mind and then recite them so I know who I’m standing before and what exactly I’m saying. Even with ziyarah I have read the translation and whilst reciting the ziyarah I replay the whole incident of Karbala and shaam in my head. I think I’m just being tested and I need to push through then I’m sure that eventually Allah will let peace and light enter my heart. 

JazakAllah! 

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On 7/21/2019 at 4:04 AM, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum! 

I’ve recently put in extra effort to get closer to God but I feel like the more I try the more depressed I get. Before I would pray my 5 prayers but not always on time and not with proper concentration, I’d sometimes recite a dua or two on the odd occasion and that’s it. I felt disconnected from God so I tried to put in an effort to improve my connection with Him, I now pray all my Namaz on time and even wake up for Tahajjud prayers, I recite ziyarat e Ashura every night and try to recite Qur'an everyday but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me. I just feel so down nowadays. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I know I should be grateful that Allah has given me this chance and the strength to get closer to Him. Is this normal?? Please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

Salam,

I emboldened the sentences in your post that I believe is something you need to examine and do some self-introspection on.  

The problem is that you believe that it is through your efforts that you can achieve a specific result (namely:  “a feeling of an inner peace” or the “closeness to God”).  You seem to imagine that spirituality works like the world of economics, where time or labor is exchanged for money or goods.  Inner Peace (or God) is not something you have to exchange something else for.  It is not something to get or to acquire.  It isn’t something you need to get close to.  God is already closer to you than your jugular vein.  God is already with you wherever you are.

 What then are you trying to get close to?  

Edited by eThErEaL

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36 minutes ago, Jannat786 said:

Whilst praying I keep the translations of all the surahs in mind and then recite them so I know who I’m standing before and what exactly I’m saying. Even with ziyarah I have read the translation and whilst reciting the ziyarah I replay the whole incident of Karbala and shaam in my head. I think I’m just being tested and I need to push through then I’m sure that eventually Allah will let peace and light enter my heart. 

JazakAllah! 

Dear sister, sometimes humans go through an state of disappointment which when occurs to me, I remind myself that this is temporary state, and I am tasting it because I am not doing as good as I should be or it is reminder of the people of hell as to how disappointed they shall be with their lives without Allah's help and thus, with this reminder, I encourage myself to behave better so that my end shall be in heaven for which Allah (عزّ وجلّ) has promised: "In heaven we will take every disease out of their hearts". 

It is just an state, it will pass by. Insha-Allah. 

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Allah -(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). is closer to you than your jugular, as revealed.

Re-read Ayat ii:177 all of it. This has constancy and patience in it, does it not?

In short, stay with the program you are given.

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Do you know God wants closeness with you even more than you want it with Him? He wants you to have His peace more than you desire it. No greater love has anyone than to lay down One's life for the object of His love. Before you were born, God knew you. He knew you would sin and fall short of Himself. So you cannot be with Him until you are made like Him in holiness and righteousness. Because He is perfect, you must become perfect, too. But how? Only God could make a way. He took your judgment and satisfied it with His death on a cross in the person of His own Son. 

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5 minutes ago, MartyS said:

Do you know God wants closeness with you even more than you want it with Him? He wants you to have His peace more than you desire it. No greater love has anyone than to lay down One's life for the object of His love. Before you were born, God knew you. He knew you would sin and fall short of Himself. So you cannot be with Him until you are made like Him in holiness and righteousness. Because He is perfect, you must become perfect, too. But how? Only God could make a way. He took your judgment and satisfied it with His death on a cross in the person of His own Son. 

Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability to proselytize is pretty low. 

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On 7/21/2019 at 3:04 AM, Jannat786 said:

but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me

salam,

apply sab'r Insha'Allah & @ guest obsever is right somehow. Think of the worship of merchants, to do all of this to get inner peace. 

What means do you use to feel inner peace?

Let's say that is attainable(inner peace) & during the prayer there's a disturbance of a loud bang outside, would that peace be disturbed as well?

you're doing well, absolutely. Surahtul Fatiha is said to be the mother of the entire book. In that same light of heaviness so do the two rakat mentioned. Nobody said don't do other surahs just as nobody said two rakat is enough. Just do without even thinking about what you just did in a sense of ' I did pray so this & that should happen', no.

Sab'r Insha'Allah

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Get closer to Allah by keeping yourself occupied with halal activities. Excercises study, nature walks etc

Depression finds its home in the idle mind

The devil makes work of idle hands.

Edited by Warilla

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2 hours ago, Revert1963 said:

Referring to the trinity in a Muslim forum is a bit provocative I think. لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ  if I may quote.

I think it was rather beautiful if you understand his or her intent, which is surrender your affairs to God including your own efforts and your own sense of goodness for only God is good.

We should look at the Qur'an as a whole.  Whatever happened to those verses that talk about “come to a common word”?

Edited by eThErEaL

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16 minutes ago, Warilla said:

Get closer to Allah by keeping yourself occupied with halal activities. Excercises study, nature walks etc

Depression finds its home in the idle mind

The devil makes work of idle hands.

not necessarily. 

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When you get closer to Allah you’re already comparing what you are now to what you were. How can you not be depressed when you realise how much you neglected Him previously. It’s a phase. Whenever you feel depressed do 5 Salawat and then recite Ayatul Kursi in your heart and as much as possible recite this Duaa:

اللهم اجعلني في درعك الحصينة التي تجعل فيها من تشاء

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Guest Seeking Observer

Salam,

This is very normal and to me shows you are on the right path. Being sad is a good thing, and it forces you to do something (hopefully halal) about it. It makes you strive for the new and change. At the same time what you are going through is getting in touch with reality. Your heart is starting to see because the truth is that there are so many sad  people on Earth and as a human family we are spiritually connected. You are feeling for the believers in God that are struggling with ignorance, hate, tyranny, etc. That includes the people in their grave awaiting justice. You mention the event of ashura, and I'm pretty sure that not only the ahl bayt are waiting with a bit of sadness for justice to be done. From what I understand nobody has yet crossed the bridge over hell into paradise. Also the animals and plants are suffering, as well as the entire Earth and heavens. So this sadness is normal. Imam Ali <3 I remember he said - if people know what awaits them at death, they would be in a state of constant shock/sadness/seriousness/.. that's how I understood this hadith. 

How to deal with this 'depression'?

As mentioned earlier, meditate and experiment on how you can improve your state for the sake of being able to continue seeking closeness to God. At the same time you must keep on living a normal and functional life, and aim towards doing as much good as possible before we all kick the bucket. Note that there are many narrations we inherited by ahl bayt saying that God loves every broken hearted believer. I only got to read those in English so I don't know the Arabic word they translated to heartbroken, but it is surely sad. The mind through thought can solve these problems. For me personally I deal with it since decades by simply getting used to it with patience. Patience here is simply waiting it out. If you wait long enough (usually days or hours), then the pain will gradually become numbed. It's like if you rub your arm long enough on the same spot, it will first hurt, then eventually the pain will go away. You will grow a 'thicker skin'. The result of your sadness pain not being felt anymore means that this level of depression has simply become the new neutral state (you have to rub that spot much harder to feel the same pain). Now this is your homeostasis, and anything happier than that or sadder than that becomes the thing to be avoided. And get ready for the next depression where you will again lower the par. The new benchmark. 

At the same time the most important thing is to always ask God for help with your state and even if you shed a tear on your prayer carpet that will be for the best. Use God as your shrink and you can talk to him anywhere and any time. The more you connect (sala) and the more you remember (zikr) Allah, the better. The more you seek His help, over the help of His creatures, the better. 

Finally, I would like to say that remembering Imam Hussein and Ashura is never complete without remembering the Imam of our time who will bring to completion the whole purpose of the most tragic event in history (along with the 313 + their helpers), with the Will of God. 

Remembering the sadness linked to others and asking for their relief is a good way to distract from our own problems, and in terms of dua there is little doubt or discussion that praying for others is more effective for helping ourselves than praying for ourselves. Like praying for your friendly neighbor's success is a better way of achieving personal happiness than praying directly for oneself. That is the essence and spirit of the 'salawat'. When praying for the likes of ahl bayt, it actually has selfish reasons behind it as well (ultimately ones own closeness to God). Praying for great people like that is a sure way to have those same prayers causing positive effects on yourselves. I hope you understand what I mean. 

All the best on your way to Allah - fi sabil ilah - and I will pray for you :D in sha Allah 

I feel this is the most important thing to do in life.. seek closeness to God. And the reason why God created us and the Jinn. Never give up and even if it means we are totally and utterly depressed for the rest of our lives, never abandon this path! After we die this life will feel like it was less than a day. 

Sorry if my words are confusing 

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On 7/29/2019 at 5:20 AM, MartyS said:

He took your judgment and satisfied it with His death on a cross in the person of His own Son. 

Don't be silly. God doesn't have children. OP is already depressed now you will just add confusion.

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1 hour ago, Warilla said:

Why ? 

I have seen people with depression with busy lives  

basically they don’t have idle mind yet they do have depression . It saddens me that this disorder is thought of so low and not even recognized as a problem by you but nevertheless peace 

:titanic:

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On 7/21/2019 at 1:34 PM, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum! 

I’ve recently put in extra effort to get closer to God but I feel like the more I try the more depressed I get. Before I would pray my 5 prayers but not always on time and not with proper concentration, I’d sometimes recite a dua or two on the odd occasion and that’s it. I felt disconnected from God so I tried to put in an effort to improve my connection with Him, I now pray all my Namaz on time and even wake up for Tahajjud prayers, I recite ziyarat e Ashura every night and try to recite Qur'an everyday but the inner peace that I’m supposed to feel by all of this just escapes me. I just feel so down nowadays. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I know I should be grateful that Allah has given me this chance and the strength to get closer to Him. Is this normal?? Please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

Namaste,

You may be on the right path, getting closer to God. As you get closer to Him you know Him better. This knowledge of Him makes you feel depressed in the beginning because this knowledge of truth turns an eloquent wise and active person into mute, empty and inert .

You are depressed because love of this world slowly leaving you.

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