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In the Name of God بسم الله
Ali~J

Pre-marital Relation

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Salaam. 

Act civilised and stay on topic please!

I was browsing on Ayatollah Sistanis website for his opinion on perfume or something like that and I came across the "Pre-marital Relation" topic this is what I saw?

 

"Question: Is it permissible for a boy and a girl to make friendship with each other in order to know each other before marriage.

Answer: It is not allowed." 

 

So my question is why is is not allowed? Isn't it even a good thing? It's not like they would have physical contact or intimacy it could even be done online in messaging... I mean it's not like someone can get married to a stranger right? 

I mean obviously when they both start to love each other and develop feelings then obviously they can do a temporary marriage and then the normal marriage. Because there would be no reason not to do the marriage at that point it's not like they'd be moving in with each other into a new home and it's likely that they'd still be under the support of their families if they were upto about 23, 24 possibly.... 

Thank you. 

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To avoid potential sin I suppose.

If it is nipped in the bud before it can even take place it removes that risk.

Now, whether it means getting to know each other completely or just not being allowed to do so unless a wali is keeping an eye, I don't know. 

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6 hours ago, starlight said:

From experience, one worded replies or short answers from Ayatullah Sistani's website like the one above are always open to interpretation and things are never as black and white even in Fiqh as depicted in the answer. 

Do you have an interpretation @starlight

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13 hours ago, Ali~J said:

So my question is why is is not allowed? Isn't it even a good thing? It's not like they would have physical contact or intimacy it could even be done online in messaging... I mean it's not like someone can get married to a stranger right? 

Salam becuaes we have Mutah for this reason 

Ayatullah Sistani's Advice on Chatting between young girls and boys. (Urdu) | चैटिंग के अहकाम

 

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9 minutes ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam becuaes we have Mutah for this reason 

Ayatullah Sistani's Advice on Chatting between young girls and boys. (Urdu) | चैटिंग के अहकाम

 

What about the mahr? Who will pay?

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18 hours ago, Diaz said:

What about the mahr? Who will pay?

it must be paid by the boy or his family but it recommended to be asked as low as possible by girl side & her family that on mutah people usualy take or pay the minimum amount of mahr because they knew it's temporary & must be paid immediately at first.

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Guest Valor

Would it still not be allowed even if the two are mature, aware of religious boundaries(nothing sexual whatsoever) and only meet in public? How can it be Haram in this case? Are we supposed to get married to get to know each other then? Engagement is still a thing anyway & it works. 

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21 hours ago, Ali~J said:

Salaam. 

Act civilised and stay on topic please!

I was browsing on Ayatollah Sistanis website for his opinion on perfume or something like that and I came across the "Pre-marital Relation" topic this is what I saw?

 

"Question: Is it permissible for a boy and a girl to make friendship with each other in order to know each other before marriage.

Answer: It is not allowed." 

 

So my question is why is is not allowed? Isn't it even a good thing? It's not like they would have physical contact or intimacy it could even be done online in messaging... I mean it's not like someone can get married to a stranger right? 

I mean obviously when they both start to love each other and develop feelings then obviously they can do a temporary marriage and then the normal marriage. Because there would be no reason not to do the marriage at that point it's not like they'd be moving in with each other into a new home and it's likely that they'd still be under the support of their families if they were upto about 23, 24 possibly.... 

Thank you. 

Friendship is forbidden, talking to each other is not forbidden. By friendship is meant going to dinner, travelling together and so on so forth. Since both boy and girl are non-maharam, dinner and travelling together looks wrong.

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Question: Is it permissible to talk with women without lustful intention for the purpose of gaining satisfaction with one of them and then to propose temporary marriage to her?
Answer: If the talk is devoid of what one should be talking about to a strange [I.e., non-mahram] woman, then there is no problem in it.

https://www.Sistani.org/english/book/46/2069/

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