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In the Name of God بسم الله
Miss Wonderful

My mother is suicidal

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Salaam Alaykum

May Allah cure her.

You need to be close to her and manage to be helpful to her with your other siblings and your dad. It's hard, but ALL of you as a family should stick together, help each other, and take it easy. Tell her to calm down and try to be happy. Negative mood, being exhausted, anger, etc. make the situation worse. Try to do stuff that she likes so that she'll be more comfortable.

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3 hours ago, Miss Wonderful said:

Her illness has made her severely loss weight and given her incontinence issues. She has find that hard to accept and has Shouted many times that she just wants to die and hits herself. I am finding it hard to cope with her pushing me away like this. I don’t know what to do or what duas to say. 

May Allah help her and you in this difficult task. Just make sure you keep an eye on her at all times incase she does something to herself

my prayers

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14 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help her and you in this difficult task.

 

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On 6/30/2019 at 5:50 AM, Miss Wonderful said:

Her illness has made her severely loss weight and given her incontinence issues. She has find that hard to accept and has Shouted many times that she just wants to die and hits herself. I am finding it hard to cope with her pushing me away like this. I don’t know what to do or what duas to say. 

Salam, Sister. People above me gave you excellent replies. I would add that when someone is dying, they might sometimes be angry because they can't do all the things that they used to do. Some people cannot walk anymore, cannot do anything except talk. I'm sorry that your Mother shouts and says things that hurt you, but you can excuse her behavior because she is not healthy. She must be going through tremendous stress, knowing that she will eventually be leaving you. She thinks of you as her little daughter, not as an adult woman who can make her way in the world and survive. Try to take her mind off her troubles by talking about happy times in the past. Look at old photos with her. Ask her questions that you might not have asked her before, because if she stops talking because of her illness, you will not have the chance to do so. There are many duas at duas.org website. I am praying for her; praying for you and your relatives. 

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On 6/30/2019 at 3:20 PM, Miss Wonderful said:

Her illness has made her severely loss weight and given her incontinence issues. She has find that hard to accept and has Shouted many times that she just wants to die and hits herself. I am finding it hard to cope with her pushing me away like this. I don’t know what to do or what duas to say. 

I hope your mother regains her health. Once you said that you were going to travel to Iran. Did you? There is a scholar in Mashhad, called Hojjat al-Islam Zeeyayi, who is an Islamic medicine professional and has cured many sick people. He cured one of my relatives who suffered from cancer and was about to die. You just have to show him your mother's medical records... he works for free.

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Dear shadow_of_light thanks for your comment. I am coming for the first time to mashhad and my father is suffering from cancer. Can you please tell me how to contact sir hojjat al Islam zeeyayi?? I would appreciate very much. anxiously waiting for you reply. Thank You.

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4 hours ago, kumaylqureshi said:

Dear shadow_of_light thanks for your comment. I am coming for the first time to mashhad and my father is suffering from cancer. Can you please tell me how to contact sir hojjat al Islam zeeyayi?? I would appreciate very much. anxiously waiting for you reply. Thank You.

Salam

Do you know Persian?

This is his address:

آدرس منزل حجت الاسلام سید حسن ضیایی : مشهد، .خ آیت الله عبادی 40، شهید نیک‌نام 14، پلاک 90
تلفن: 37265934-051 - 
ساعات پاسخگویی تلفنی شنبه تا چهارشنبه 2.5 تا 3.5 بعد از ظهر

 

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4 hours ago, kumaylqureshi said:

Dear shadow_of_light thanks for your comment. I am coming for the first time to mashhad and my father is suffering from cancer. Can you please tell me how to contact sir hojjat al Islam zeeyayi?? I would appreciate very much. anxiously waiting for you reply. Thank You.

His blog:

http://tebolmasoomin.blogfa.com/

اگر شما برای حل مشکل خود نیازمند به توصیه های ایشان هستید، باید شب ساعت 20 الی 21 (به جز پنجشنبه ها و جمعه ها) با شماره منزل ایشان تماس حاصل فرماید.

-          حکیم ضیایی مطب شخصی ندارند و باید به منزل ایشان مراجعه کنید یا در ساعت گفته شده تماس بگیرید و یا به وبلاگ طب المعصومین علیهم السلام مراجعه فرمایید.

-          هر روزه فقط به 15 نفر وقت میدهند.
-          استاد ضیایی ملاقات حضوری با بیماران خود ندارند.
-          باید مشکل خود را به صورت کتبی بنویسید .
-          استاد ضیایی در قبال این کار از کسی وجهی دریافت نمیکنند.

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1 minute ago, shadow_of_light said:

His blog:

http://tebolmasoomin.blogfa.com/

اگر شما برای حل مشکل خود نیازمند به توصیه های ایشان هستید، باید شب ساعت 20 الی 21 (به جز پنجشنبه ها و جمعه ها) با شماره منزل ایشان تماس حاصل فرماید.

-          حکیم ضیایی مطب شخصی ندارند و باید به منزل ایشان مراجعه کنید یا در ساعت گفته شده تماس بگیرید و یا به وبلاگ طب المعصومین علیهم السلام مراجعه فرمایید.

-          هر روزه فقط به 15 نفر وقت میدهند.
-          استاد ضیایی ملاقات حضوری با بیماران خود ندارند.
-          باید مشکل خود را به صورت کتبی بنویسید .
-          استاد ضیایی در قبال این کار از کسی وجهی دریافت نمیکنند.

 

 

Anything in English for someone not knowing Arabic or Farsi?

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4 hours ago, kumaylqureshi said:

Dear shadow_of_light thanks for your comment. I am coming for the first time to mashhad and my father is suffering from cancer. Can you please tell me how to contact sir hojjat al Islam zeeyayi?? I would appreciate very much. anxiously waiting for you reply. Thank You.

If you don’t know Farsi, I will translate those Farsi lines to English. I hope your father will regain his health.

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Hello @Miss Wonderful,

Hope you're well. Very sorry to hear about your situation. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to see your mother in that manner and feel helpless when you try and help her.

However, I would like to let you know that the mere thought that you have of wanting to serve your mother during her illness is a blessing in itself. Not all children are so considerate towards their parents in such situations, so hats off to you for that.

Remember, when your mother gets angry at you, it's not actually her that says all those insulting things to you, it's a different person. A person who is experiencing pain (both, physical and emotional), she tries to find ways to vent out her pain. Because you love her so much, you will be one of the ways in which she can express her anger and distress to ease her pain (both physical and emotional).

Give yourself credit for trying to help your mother, stay with her whenever you can, hold her hand and listen to her, regardless of what she says. When it gets overwhelming for you, politely let her know that you need to be alone for a bit and then take your time to cool yourself down. She is your mother, she will always understand you, sometimes better than you understand yourself.

You will always cherish these moments, when you tried to help your mother at her worse, so don't lose these precious moments. I wish you best.

Kind regards,

Khudi

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On 6/30/2019 at 1:50 PM, Miss Wonderful said:

Her illness has made her severely loss weight and given her incontinence issues. She has find that hard to accept and has Shouted many times that she just wants to die and hits herself. I am finding it hard to cope with her pushing me away like this. I don’t know what to do or what duas to say. 

May Allah make it easy for her and you.

Have patience and keep praying 

InshAllah all will be good 

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On 6/30/2019 at 3:50 PM, Miss Wonderful said:

Her illness has made her severely loss weight and given her incontinence issues. She has find that hard to accept and has Shouted many times that she just wants to die and hits herself. I am finding it hard to cope with her pushing me away like this. I don’t know what to do or what duas to say. 

Has she got mental illness ? 

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On 9/17/2019 at 1:20 PM, shadow_of_light said:

Salam

Do you know Persian?

This is his address:

آدرس منزل حجت الاسلام سید حسن ضیایی : مشهد، .خ آیت الله عبادی 40، شهید نیک‌نام 14، پلاک 90
تلفن: 37265934-051 - 
ساعات پاسخگویی تلفنی شنبه تا چهارشنبه 2.5 تا 3.5 بعد از ظهر

 

Thank you so much. I do not know Persian. We arrived in Mashhad yesterday. We have someone who does speak Persian and Urdu, I will be meeting him later today I will ask him to contact on the given number and understand how to get to him and if we can meet with him. I hope we can. I will update you. Thank you so much. 

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On 6/30/2019 at 12:50 PM, Miss Wonderful said:

She

So how is she & you doing so far? Relations with our mothers are critical you know & I too am going through a rough patch with moms. Insha'Allah all is well through these times no matter how hard it is for you.

Edited by Mzwakhe

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On 9/18/2019 at 3:18 PM, kumaylqureshi said:

Thank you so much. I do not know Persian. We arrived in Mashhad yesterday. We have someone who does speak Persian and Urdu, I will be meeting him later today I will ask him to contact on the given number and understand how to get to him and if we can meet with him. I hope we can. I will update you. Thank you so much. 

Did you contact him?

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2 hours ago, kumaylqureshi said:

Me and my irani associate have been calling on the given number since yesterday. Unfortunately no one picks up or calls back. Will keep trying.

I am really sorry. I should have told you...you should call him from 2.5 p.m to 3.5 pm...satureday-wednesday

I thought your irani friend would read those Farsi lines I had posted.

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