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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Asalam aleykum dear brothers and sisters.

I have an Islamic question that fits my personal situation. I want to have more information about how to handle my situation.

It's as follows:

I live in the Netherlands  and my wife lives in Pakistan. We've been married for over a year now. 

In the Netherlands I study and in 2 years I will be finishing my study. Then I can work and get my wife to the Netherlands ( due to my stable income)

Each year I visit my wife in the summer during holidays. Then we will also sleep together. But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse.

I don't know what to do. Because in Islamic point of view having intercourse is legal. It's even illegal to deny sexual feelings for each other while being married. On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. Also I will break their trust. 

I hope you can help me out with this question.

Greetings,

Jawad

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25 minutes ago, Jawad231 said:

On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. A

Sorry but it's your wife who is to blame here. She is the one denying you intimacy. 

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11 minutes ago, starlight said:

Sorry but it's your wife who is to blame here. She is the one denying you intimacy. 

True, if she wanted intercourse too, it would've happened.

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44 minutes ago, Jawad231 said:

But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse.

Am I the only one here thinking how they would know if yall being discrete?

352DDE7F00000578-3637422-image-m-150_146

It is your right my brother, as an Islamically married couple, they have no business in the bedroom. 

Also I am assuming you made no such agreements on the aqd, so I don't see the issue here.

 

Edited by Propaganda_of_the_Deed

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11 minutes ago, Tamy said:

I don’t get it why would her parents tell you two not to do it?

They are afraid that I'll fail to find a job in 2 years and then not to get her to the Netherlands. Also having intercourse will risk that my have could become pregnant. Getting my children to the Netherlands will make things difficult. Also when I can't get her to the Netherlands they can remarry her. But I have sworn that in all cases I will get her to Europe.

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6 hours ago, Propaganda_of_the_Deed said:

Am I the only one here thinking how they would know if yall being discrete?

It is your right my brother, as an Islamically married couple, they have no business in the bedroom. 

Also I am assuming you made no such agreements on the aqd, so I don't see the issue here.

No I didn't made such agreements during performing of Nikah. 

Edited by Hameedeh
Removed image

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1 minute ago, Jawad231 said:

Also when I can't get her to the Netherlands they can remarry her.

Ouch!  I really don't know what to say. Are they this direct? 

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27 minutes ago, starlight said:

Sorry but it's your wife who is to blame here. She is the one denying you intimacy. 

She doesn't deny me intimacy. She is just afraid of her parents. They might find out that she's had intimacy. But I know that in an Islamic point of view it's not their business to be in the middle of me and my wife. But we all can be afraid if our parents come yelling why we have had intimacy. It's a kind of hidden taboo and respect to their parents. But it's difficult for me and for her.

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2 minutes ago, starlight said:

Ouch!  I really don't know what to say. Are they this direct? 

Not directly but I can think of this situation that might could happen. But I (we) hope not. Because we truly love each others.

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4 minutes ago, Jawad231 said:

They are afraid that I'll fail to find a job in 2 years and then not to get her to the Netherlands. Also having intercourse will risk that my have could become pregnant. Getting my children to the Netherlands will make things difficult. Also when I can't get her to the Netherlands they can remarry her. But I have sworn that in all cases I will get her to Europe.

No offense and not to dismiss any genuine mutual feelings you both may have for eachother, but from the sound of the in-laws, this is some business transaction with conditions and penalities in place if you fail to meet them.

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6 hours ago, Jawad231 said:

Thank you for your reactions.

My wife wants to have intimacy but is afraid of her parents.

Yeah, but are you certain that she isn't just using that as pretex? 

Surley the both of you, if you really wanted to, could override her parents and do the permissable stuff... 

6 hours ago, Jawad231 said:

They are afraid that I'll fail to find a job in 2 years and then not to get her to the Netherlands. Also having intercourse will risk that my have could become pregnant. Getting my children to the Netherlands will make things difficult. Also when I can't get her to the Netherlands they can remarry her. But I have sworn that in all cases I will get her to Europe.

Wow that's really sad, they should've never let you marry her if they were going to have these negative doubts... Hope you can find a job brother... 

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8 hours ago, Jawad231 said:

She doesn't deny me intimacy

Yes, this is exactly what she is doing?

8 hours ago, Jawad231 said:

She is just afraid of her parents.

How old is she?

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