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In the Name of God بسم الله
Islandsandmirrors

How did you meet your spouse/spouse-to-be?

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4 minutes ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

I met him in my dreams, he was tall, had blonde hair and green eyes. 

You and @Ruqaya101 killed this joke. How many times did you use it? Lool the whole forum gets it, you're never getting married!

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20 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Don't give up, man. There's someone out there for everyone.

I have no idea what matrimonial sites are like, but I can imagine how frustrated you must feel with the experience of having someone ghost on you or catfishing/wasting your time. I'm sure that there are tons of non-compatible people that you'd have to weed through to get to someone of substance. But, within any modern dating/finding someone, that's just the way it goes. In real life, you'd likely be going through a similar process of disappointment, but that shouldn't stop you from finding "your person". 

I'm not an expert by any means, but I may be able to offer some advice. I hope you'll find these useful:

1. Join a forum

In my opinion, forums are better (if you're interested in meeting someone online) than matrimonial sites because you'll be actively choosing to get to know someone based on post history, and forum interactions, which, in my opinion, can be useful for determining if someone is right for you. Allow conversation to happen organically, because that way, interest in each other will develop with time instead of pressuring others for commitment that they might not be sure yet. 

2. Develop genuine connection

It's fine if a girl is a little shy in the beginning, but if excuses become her go-to for talking on the phone, Skyping, meeting up in person, take that as a red flag to move on. Don't try to force connection or actively try and reach for a deadline in which you think that things have to reach that next step. Take the pressure off yourself (and her) and learn to fully enjoy conversation without any expectations in the beginning. That might allow a woman to feel comfortable to open up to you, at her own pace. Try to not move too fast unless you are 100% certain that she's okay with it and on the same page as you are. 

 

Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Maybe it'd be better if you elaborated on what's been happening so I can give you specific advice (further advice would depend on context.)

What kind of forums would you meet a Shia spouse who has a similar background? That seems a random effort.

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2 minutes ago, arch1027116 said:

What kind of forums would you meet a Shia spouse who has a similar background? That seems a random effort.

You can find someone this forum, maybe. 

Otherwise, you'd be better off sticking to forums which pique your interest. What interests you? Any hobbies? If you are a man, I'd suggest you try and be open with the possibility of meeting a non-Muslim, because who knows? She may convert out of learning about Islam through you. 

 

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17 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

You can find someone this forum, maybe. 

Otherwise, you'd be better off sticking to forums which pique your interest. What interests you? Any hobbies? If you are a man, I'd suggest you try and be open with the possibility of meeting a non-Muslim, because who knows? She may convert out of learning about Islam through you. 

 

Yea I do have hobbies and no I happen to be a woman so it’d be difficult for me to marry anyone but a Shia. Would you private message me to guide me a little?

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30 minutes ago, arch1027116 said:

Yea I do have hobbies and no I happen to be a woman so it’d be difficult for me to marry anyone but a Shia. Would you private message me to guide me a little?

Sure, I’ll do that now.

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