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In the Name of God بسم الله
Islandsandmirrors

How did you meet your spouse/spouse-to-be?

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Just a thread for fun. 

I met my husband on Personalitycafe, which is a forum for MBTI types. I had posted a thread about having a bad day and he PM’d me, asking if I felt better and how I was doing generally. 

So the rest, as you all know, is history. :) 

How did you meet your spouse/spouse-to-be?

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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On a popular matrimony website that sounds like Pringle Muslim. I don't know if I can say the real one because there's another one endorsed on this site :grin:

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We met on a secular matchmaking site. He lived farther away than I really preferred, but there were no acceptable Muslim men in my area. Everyone I had encountered was either already married or not marriageable.

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I used to reject every suitor, most of the time even without seeing or talking with them. Whenever my parents told me that there was a suitor I said that I didnt want to get married.

My parents used to say "at least see them and talk with them. We wont force you to accept a proposal. You can choose to accept or reject but just bring a logical reason for rejection".

I and my husband used to have discussions in another forum. Once, he sent me a message and said "I want to tell you something but I am afraid that I look stupid" (it was the first time that he was proposing to a girl and he said these words in English not in my mother language). Then he said "I think we can lead a life together". 

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Guest arch7116

wow so many if you met your spouse online, more surprising on some forum. How does that work? I’ve been trying to find a partner on these matrimonial sites/apps and its such a struggle. Nobody responses and take things further. I am just so frustrated at this point that I feel like giving up. 

Any tips or advice on what I might be doing wrong.

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22 minutes ago, shadow_of_light said:

I and my husband used to have discussions in another forum. Once, he sent me a message and said "I want to tell you something but I am afraid that I look stupid" (it was the first time that he was proposing to a girl and he said these words in English not in my mother language). Then he said "I think we can lead a life together". 

Nice!

Are you both Middle Eastern? 

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On 6/23/2019 at 2:39 PM, Guest arch7116 said:

wow so many if you met your spouse online, more surprising on some forum. How does that work? I’ve been trying to find a partner on these matrimonial sites/apps and its such a struggle. Nobody responses and take things further. I am just so frustrated at this point that I feel like giving up. 

Any tips or advice on what I might be doing wrong.

Don't give up, man. There's someone out there for everyone.

I have no idea what matrimonial sites are like, but I can imagine how frustrated you must feel with the experience of having someone ghost on you or catfishing/wasting your time. I'm sure that there are tons of non-compatible people that you'd have to weed through to get to someone of substance. But, within any modern dating/finding someone, that's just the way it goes. In real life, you'd likely be going through a similar process of disappointment, but that shouldn't stop you from finding "your person". 

I'm not an expert by any means, but I may be able to offer some advice. I hope you'll find these useful:

1. Join a forum

In my opinion, forums are better (if you're interested in meeting someone online) than matrimonial sites because you'll be actively choosing to get to know someone based on post history, and forum interactions, which, in my opinion, can be useful for determining if someone is right for you. Allow conversation to happen organically, because that way, interest in each other will develop with time instead of pressuring others for commitment that they might not be sure yet. 

2. Develop genuine connection

It's fine if a girl is a little shy in the beginning, but if excuses become her go-to for talking on the phone, Skyping, meeting up in person, take that as a red flag to move on. Don't try to force connection or actively try and reach for a deadline in which you think that things have to reach that next step. Take the pressure off yourself (and her) and learn to fully enjoy conversation without any expectations in the beginning. That might allow a woman to feel comfortable to open up to you, at her own pace. Try to not move too fast unless you are 100% certain that she's okay with it and on the same page as you are. 

Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Maybe it'd be better if you elaborated on what's been happening so I can give you specific advice (further advice would depend on context.)

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2 hours ago, Diaz said:

I’m still waiting for my future spouse xD

If there's a lady giving you lots of likes and lols on here, chances are she's the one.

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On 6/23/2019 at 11:13 AM, Islandsandmirrors said:

Just a thread for fun. 

I met my husband on Personalitycafe, which is a forum for MBTI types. I had posted a thread about having a bad day and he PM’d me, asking if I felt better and how I was doing generally. 

So the rest, as you all know, is history. :) 

How did you meet your spouse/spouse-to-be?

I met him in my dreams, he was tall, had blonde hair and green eyes. 

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