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In the Name of God بسم الله
musa shakr

How to find a woman for a muta

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6 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

The tool you use to meet them is not very important. All the rules of marriage still apply, whatever tool you use. If u are going to use something like Tinder, first I would read up on the rules and regulations regarding marriage and relations with non mahram ( for before the contract). If u feel you can use this platform without violating these then go for it

:salam:

I have to say that I would have expected this answer from any ShiaChat member, but from you brother, I find this very weird. Please read and hear about Tinder then tell me how such methods are compatible with Islamic morals. 

You make it sound like it's ok anyway, mut`ah is not forever, who cares if she's not chaste, while mut`ah is a marriage like any other.

If you would not choose your permanent wife in a particular way, then stay away from her in mut`ah too. That's simple.

 

Edited by realizm

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1 hour ago, realizm said:

:salam:

I have to say that I would have expected this answer from any ShiaChat member, but from you brother, I find this very weird. Please read and hear about Tinder then tell me how such methods are compatible with Islamic morals. 

You make it sound like it's ok anyway, mut`ah is not forever, who cares if she's not chaste, while mut`ah is a marriage like any other.

If you would not choose your permanent wife in a particular way, then stay away from her in mut`ah too. That's simple.

 

No he’s being realistic. Not everyone on tinder is the same look at the other links I posted.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/rishtastoriesblog.wordpress.com/2015/10/15/Muslims-on-tinder/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.miamiherald.com/entertainment/article103457727.html

The real challenge I see on tinder are getting the girl to be interested in a relationship in the first place. Then finding out her religion, then finding out if you need her father’s permission or finding out if she is not a virgin and therefore you don’t need permission. Most likely the second but you still should check. Then it’s getting her to recite the mutah contract and explaining mutah to her too and her accepting that. 

If you can get through all that you can have a mutah on tinder. Obviously Dua is needed especially cause this is a real challenge. Even doing it on tinder.

The only advantage there Is to tinder is it gives you options. 

Edited by TryHard

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4 hours ago, realizm said:

:salam:

I have to say that I would have expected this answer from any ShiaChat member, but from you brother, I find this very weird. Please read and hear about Tinder then tell me how such methods are compatible with Islamic morals. 

You make it sound like it's ok anyway, mut`ah is not forever, who cares if she's not chaste, while mut`ah is a marriage like any other.

If you would not choose your permanent wife in a particular way, then stay away from her in mut`ah too. That's simple.

 

That's not what I am saying. If you use TInder, Match.com, OKCupid, ShiaMatch, etc, these are all online platforms. I am not familiar with Tinder specifically, I have been out of the 'scene' for a while and was married before 'Tinder' was a thing. So I'm not familiar with this platform specifically, but I don't see how it is that much different from the other ones. 

Many of you don't know and don't realize what I and the OP are talking about because most of you were born into a Muslim or Shia family so you have lots of 'built in' opportunities through family connections. In addition, you are considered a 'full fledged' member of a Arab/Iranian/Afghan/Pakistani etc family and can show your lineage going back to X person in Y Village. So this fact gives you alot of options for marriage and also other things like business, career opportunities that are not available to those in the Revert community. Many reverts are considered 'triple minorities'. They are a a minority in their communities (if they live in a country which is primarily a religion other than Islam) and they are a minority within the Muslim community because they are not the right ethnicity. Also, many of them are ostracized by their family after their reversion. So because of this, it is sometimes very difficult to do the 'normal' things, like getting married, that are not so difficult for the others. My comments were in this context. 

I have said this before, and I'll say it again, onine platforms, any online platforms including the ones I noted above, are options of last resort. If you have people in your family or you community that are willing to help you through 'offline' channels, this is much better, safer, and more reliable than doing it the online way. Unfortunately, there are some, including many reverts, who don't have those options available. This was the context for my comments.

Also, this is just my theory, but there is some evidence that 20 to 30% of the people in the US would probably be Muslim at this point, except for the fact that they do not want to put themselves in this 'triple minority' status and this is the main thing that stops people from reverting to Islam, not the media or lack of education or lack of belief or morals. If I had a dollars for everyone American, non Muslim that I have talked to that has expressed this in one way or another, I would be a wealthy person. 

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If the children of Adam (عليه السلام) could also have their masa'ib (epic hardships) in the focus of a noha writer then this one problem, for which muta is sought, would have been at the very top of the list. I'm not joking. Its passion drives man places, it is the root of life, the insurance of continuation of life on this planet, the reason you and I exist, the reason we suffer eternally, its both hilarious and deeply saddening. It can control your mood, your life, your destiny. What a powerful thing. Those who have it think nothing of it. Those who don't can't think of anything else. If your bodily chemicals are alright you will never tire of it even if you are a old sheikh. When you feel its consequences getting to you you resent it. It creates quests it also ends them. How interesting.

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11 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Being someone who has tried this I can tell you its an extremely hard job with long hours that doesnt pay any salary. So I don’t expect there would be many takers

And whats the reward for helping?

 

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his holy progeny) said:

“One who fulfils the desire of his brother Mu’min, would be as if he has worshipped God for his entire life”

Jaame' al-Sa'adaat, vol. 2, pg. 230.

 

Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) has stated: Fulfilling a need of a Mu'min brother is better than liberating a thousand slaves and giving a thousand horses (for jihad) in the path of God.

Despite all the emphasis, it is the whisperings (of the Shaitaan) and attachment to the world, which prevent man from helping out the others

Ihyaa al-Quloob, pg. 121.

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6 hours ago, realizm said:

:salam:

I have to say that I would have expected this answer from any ShiaChat member, but from you brother, I find this very weird. Please read and hear about Tinder then tell me how such methods are compatible with Islamic morals. 

You make it sound like it's ok anyway, mut`ah is not forever, who cares if she's not chaste, while mut`ah is a marriage like any other.

If you would not choose your permanent wife in a particular way, then stay away from her in mut`ah too. That's simple.

 

This..

Unfortunately, the perception has become that mutah is another institution, and not a marriage. This perception is what makes people consider having "mut'ah" with a person who openly sells their body as their daily occupation, cares nothing about eddah or contracts or rules, but people find it ok to walk over, negotiate a price, say a magic formula and *zap* halalify their haraam rubbish. 

Saddest part is when turbans do this, because it tells you what they will respond to people seeking for their advice on such a matter. :shock:

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3 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

That's not what I am saying. If you use TInder, Match.com, OKCupid, ShiaMatch, etc, these are all online platforms. I am not familiar with Tinder specifically, I have been out of the 'scene' for a while and was married before 'Tinder' was a thing. So I'm not familiar with this platform specifically, but I don't see how it is that much different from the other ones. 

Many of you don't know and don't realize what I and the OP are talking about because most of you were born into a Muslim or Shia family so you have lots of 'built in' opportunities through family connections. In addition, you are considered a 'full fledged' member of a Arab/Iranian/Afghan/Pakistani etc family and can show your lineage going back to X person in Y Village. So this fact gives you alot of options for marriage and also other things like business, career opportunities that are not available to those in the Revert community. Many reverts are considered 'triple minorities'. They are a a minority in their communities (if they live in a country which is primarily a religion other than Islam) and they are a minority within the Muslim community because they are not the right ethnicity. Also, many of them are ostracized by their family after their reversion. So because of this, it is sometimes very difficult to do the 'normal' things, like getting married, that are not so difficult for the others. My comments were in this context. 

I have said this before, and I'll say it again, onine platforms, any online platforms including the ones I noted above, are options of last resort. If you have people in your family or you community that are willing to help you through 'offline' channels, this is much better, safer, and more reliable than doing it the online way. Unfortunately, there are some, including many reverts, who don't have those options available. This was the context for my comments.

Also, this is just my theory, but there is some evidence that 20 to 30% of the people in the US would probably be Muslim at this point, except for the fact that they do not want to put themselves in this 'triple minority' status and this is the main thing that stops people from reverting to Islam, not the media or lack of education or lack of belief or morals. If I had a dollars for everyone American, non Muslim that I have talked to that has expressed this in one way or another, I would be a wealthy person. 

:salam:

With all the dirt going on begind the scenes of Tinder, I would compare this with walking into a club to find a halal match.

So a last resort maybe, but some ways are certainly more respectable yet not used by people. I would find it more decent to perform direct talk  in the street in open air than registering and browsing secretly. Ironically the former would be considered more shameful in our community. 

 

 

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21 minutes ago, realizm said:

some ways are certainly more respectable yet not used by people

And what are those?

21 minutes ago, realizm said:

I would find it more decent to perform direct talk  in the street in open

But who should one talk to in real life? One cannot randomly approach girls in the street. Of course the best case scenario for revert would be coming across someone at work or school but lots of time this doesn't happen. 

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5 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

If the children of Adam (عليه السلام) could also have their masa'ib (epic hardships) in the focus of a noha writer then this one problem, for which muta is sought, would have been at the very top of the list. I'm not joking. Its passion drives man places, it is the root of life, the insurance of continuation of life on this planet, the reason you and I exist, the reason we suffer eternally, its both hilarious and deeply saddening. It can control your mood, your life, your destiny. What a powerful thing. Those who have it think nothing of it. Those who don't can't think of anything else. If your bodily chemicals are alright you will never tire of it even if you are a old sheikh. When you feel its consequences getting to you you resent it. It creates quests it also ends them. How interesting.

I’m wondering why nobody applauded you yet on such a true description of this Dunya in the microcosm example of this

Taking the liberty of an addendum immediately after the last sentence of your’s ... ’Still the most Merciful would bless all the winners of Aakhira with plenty of it.’

 

 

Edited by AMR5

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6 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Also, this is just my theory, but there is some evidence that 20 to 30% of the people in the US would probably be Muslim at this point, except for the fact that they do not want to put themselves in this 'triple minority' status and this is the main thing that stops people from reverting to Islam, not the media or lack of education or lack of belief or morals. If I had a dollars for everyone American, non Muslim that I have talked to that has expressed this in one way or another, I would be a wealthy person. 

If only they could see the bigger picture, and think of in terms of collective.

If many of them take the plunge all at once, won’t they make us ABCDs & FOBs an instant quadruple minority, for the eternal betterment of Islam and Muslims in the North America. INSHALLAH-

 

After Thought: even the millionth Muta related post on ShiaChat can have written masterpieces of likes of Darth, AbuH, and Realizm, and I just read the last page of it. Keep them coming. :)

Edited by AMR5

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7 hours ago, starlight said:

And what are those?

But who should one talk to in real life? One cannot randomly approach girls in the street. Of course the best case scenario for revert would be coming across someone at work or school but lots of time this doesn't happen. 

Well... I still think things can be done the old fashioned way. Approaching girls like 'hey, know about mut`ah' definitely not, but lending a helping hand then or asking something and then engaging conversation may be appropriate after all. But social pressure makes it eadier for humans to do things in private/anonymously. Shameful world.

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