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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Getting married is one of the most stressful and difficult things I have come across.

I had my engagement break down over a year ago and now I'm using traditional matchmaking ways and every girl has said no without even speaking to me? There must be something wrong with my face because I don't understand how you can say no to someone based on a small profile!

It's incredibly frustrating and honestly makes me feel like either A) I shouldn't bother with marriage or B)  I should perhaps go my own way to find a spouse in probably not the best of ways. 

Why is it so much easier to fall into haram than get married? And why are women so God dsmn picky these days? I've honestly heard some horror stories.

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I think whether its based on looks or a small profile, doesnt really matter. Even if there was something what cud consider "wrong" with anything in yourself, it doesnt matter. It requires patience and whatever Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has planned, then it will happen no matter what.

Maybe you wouldn't have been happy with the women that were picked out and so Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) said no, he wants to give you better.

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

I shouldn't bother with marriage

Well, it shouldn't be a bother in the first place. Though, I understand that you are frustrated.

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

I should perhaps go my own way to find a spouse in probably not the best of ways. 

what do you mean "not the best way"?

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

Why is it so much easier to fall into haram than get married?

because its the easy way but costs you a big fine. 

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

And why are women so God dsmn picky these days?

not all women are picky, it also depends on where you live, and what women you are referring to. I can say all men are idiots but it doesnt really make a point.

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

 I've honestly heard some horror stories.

curious...

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On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

I'm using traditional matchmaking ways

Which "traditional matchmaking ways" 

On 6/15/2019 at 5:41 PM, Fgs123 said:

And why are women so God dsmn picky these days?

Yes that's true, It's no secret that standards are raising. 

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18 minutes ago, Ali~J said:

Yes that's true, It's no secret that standards are raising. 

Hmm.. I'd be less concerned about (living) standards raising than the fact that it seems good spouses are very few and very far between.

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15 hours ago, Fgs123 said:

Getting married is one of the most stressful and difficult things I have come across.

I had my engagement break down over a year ago and now I'm using traditional matchmaking ways and every girl has said no without even speaking to me? There must be something wrong with my face because I don't understand how you can say no to someone based on a small profile!

 

It's incredibly frustrating and honestly makes me feel like either A) I shouldn't bother with marriage or B)  I should perhaps go my own way to find a spouse in probably not the best of ways. 

Why is it so much easier to fall into haram than get married? And why are women so God dsmn picky these days? I've honestly heard some horror stories.

I believe that you should not complain about someone who thinks that you may fail to fulfil their needs or wishes. Everyone has his or her right to pick for himself a best suitable partner. 

To you, I think, the main problem is in your personality that you are shaky. Like you say, if one is not going to like you, may be you take other alternatives.

Man no one likes shaky person, improve your personality and be impermeable to sins. And, after that I am sure someone would like you man. 

But even after that no one marries you than wait for next life, you will get hooris, if u stay good. :D

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Guest Nani-Amma
15 hours ago, Fgs123 said:

Getting married is one of the most stressful and difficult things I have come across.

I had my engagement break down over a year ago and now I'm using traditional matchmaking ways and every girl has said no without even speaking to me? There must be something wrong with my face because I don't understand how you can say no to someone based on a small profile!

 

It's incredibly frustrating and honestly makes me feel like either A) I shouldn't bother with marriage or B)  I should perhaps go my own way to find a spouse in probably not the best of ways. 

Why is it so much easier to fall into haram than get married? And why are women so God dsmn picky these days? I've honestly heard some horror stories.

Look for a divorced or widowed woman.

By this time, they become good natured, less superficial, more pragmatic, and a better learner of their religion. 

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21 minutes ago, Flying_Eagle said:

I believe that you should not complain about someone who thinks that you may fail to fulfil their needs or wishes. Everyone has his or her right to pick for himself a best suitable partner. 

To you, I think, the main problem is in your personality that you are shaky. Like you say, if one is not going to like you, may be you take other alternatives.

Man no one likes shaky person, improve your personality and be impermeable to sins. And, after that I am sure someone would like you man. 

But even after that no one marries you than wait for next life, you will get hooris, if u stay good. :D

What is "shaky"? You should not tell people to try to improve their personality. You don't even know the man. And no matter if a person is dislikable there is always out there someone who likes the dislikable.

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15 hours ago, Fgs123 said:

Getting married is one of the most stressful and difficult things I have come across.

I had my engagement break down over a year ago and now I'm using traditional matchmaking ways and every girl has said no without even speaking to me? There must be something wrong with my face because I don't understand how you can say no to someone based on a small profile!

 

It's incredibly frustrating and honestly makes me feel like either A) I shouldn't bother with marriage or B)  I should perhaps go my own way to find a spouse in probably not the best of ways. 

Why is it so much easier to fall into haram than get married? And why are women so God dsmn picky these days? I've honestly heard some horror stories.

Why did your first engagement break down?

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Flying_Eagle's comment sounds like a bad joke, please ignore them. Obviously you are going to be apprehensive if your first pop at marriage broke down.

What exactly is it you think they see or hear and don't like? Perhaps we can help collectively to make you feel better and more confident.

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4 hours ago, habib e najjaar said:

I'd be less concerned about (living) standards raising

I was talking about standards of people. 

Not living standards. 

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Guest Valor

Salam,

What do you mean by traditional matchmaking? 

If you're an expat then yes, it's not easy to get married for many different reasons unfortunately. However, if you are living in a Muslim country in a Shia community & your parents are with you, you'll just have to keep looking It's a lot easier than being an expat. 

May God grant us our wishes,.. 

Best of luck brother.

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