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In the Name of God بسم الله

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40 minutes ago, starlight said:

Why do we have to follow how non Muslims see things?

In some western cultures a peck on the cheek is akin to handshake, a simple hello, Would you be okay with that too?

What about following the Sunnah of Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) Our goal should be to emulate him.

 

We don't HAVE to see things as they see things or do what they do because of any reason. But knowing and understanding these things are important. I mentioned that in my earlier post that I'm not saying that anyone shouldn't abstain from shaking hands if they believe they will better keep themselves pure that way. By all means, do so. What I WAS saying was that I didn't agree with not shaking hands or not hugging and that by perhaps compromising a little, we could build a better relationship with the non-Muslims and improve our image. And ultimately that could bring more people to Islam.

I feel like you think I don't have limits or are unsure as to where they are regarding this handshaking stuff. =/ Even some Westerners don't feel comfortable with kissing on the cheek unless it's something their clique does already within themselves. Like posh artists or Kardashians. I don't see myself meeting with them anytime soon and I'm not sure they even do that. =/ Girlfriends in the West would be jealous as well if their boyfriends kissed cheeks with another hot girl. Regardless, handshakes and hugs are the limit for me.

I did mention my post that I knew a hadeeth where one of the sahaba said outright that they never saw the Prophet touch a woman he wasn't married to. And this was when he was taking pledges of allegiance from people escaping Makkah too. Obviously, if you read a hadeeth, it's an opportunity to emulate him. But my point was that just because the hadeeth mentioned that no one saw the Prophet do something, doesn't automatically make it haram. There are somethings that he actually didn't do and people knew about it and it STILL isn't haram. =/ Like garlic. The Prophet refused to eat anything with garlic because he "converses with those we can not see". It's the smell. Doesn't make it haram though. Should we emulate him in this? Yeah. But we don't have to.

There are some things that didn't even exist at the time of the Prophet and people ask if it's haram to use these things. Just because he didn't use certain things, doesn't mean you can't use those things. That's an extreme version of emulating him. Innocent till proven guilty. Halal till proven haram.

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On 6/15/2019 at 10:49 PM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

People who live in the west are generally shocked when you tell them that as a Muslim you don’t hug or shake the opposite sex’s hand. 

Living in the west will only shake hands with the opposite sex if they extend their hands. We will never be the first to extend our hands. But I don't know any Muslim which hugs the opposite sex... 

I'll tell you a little story about my mother and grandmother. Where I live there's these things known as "parent consultations" where the parents will go into their children's schools to meet the teachers. Every parents consultation my mother and my grandmother (my grandmother went to my mother's consultations about 35 years ago) they wore gloves on their hands so their skin wouldn't come into contact with any male teacher, yes it looked weird, especially in the summer, but they still did it. And my mother still does today. 

On 6/15/2019 at 10:49 PM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

When you tell them that it would lead to bigger actions they always tell you “I have been doing it for years and have never went further than that with any guy/girl.” “Not if they’re just friends” “I have a girlfriend so with other women it doesn’t go further than that” , etc.

"Bigger actions" lol. It's just a friendly gesture and sometimes a even a PROFESSIONAL gesture. 

It's not uncommon for teachers at my school to have some contact. For example sometimes teachers will sit to students (me included) to help them with the work and there's definitely "close" contact there... But it's pury professional, it's not like you can just get up and and sit in the next seat. 

Another example, at my place of education they have these *annoying* social exercises once a week and one of yesterday's dumb activities involved me holding hands with a girl. Didn't mean anything, didn't "feel" anything and it would definitely never lead to "bigger actions" 

I think the main point is, if you have to have physical contact with the opposite sex which isn't "bigger actions", for us there's no problem it doesn't mean anything. 

But if we're in a situation where it's not necessary or needed then we simply don't have the physical contact even if we're sure it won't lead to "bigger actions"... 

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On 6/16/2019 at 2:49 AM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

السلام عليكم

I’ll be playing devil’s advocate here. This is not what I believe but this is what needs to be said to generated a lengthier discussion.

People who live in the west are generally shocked when you tell them that as a Muslim you don’t hug or shake the opposite sex’s hand. 

When you tell them that it would lead to bigger actions they always tell you “I have been doing it for years and have never went further than that with any guy/girl.” “Not if they’re just friends” “I have a girlfriend so with other women it doesn’t go further than that” , etc.

So what are the reasons why we don’t touch the opposite sex? Other than “Allah told us not to”?

I will counter argue all the points posted in this thread so that we get more and more answers and delve deeper to why it is haram, not just surface reasons.

Will you touch anyone's mobile without its owner's permission ?

For touching anyone, you have to take permission from its owner. Allah (عزّ وجلّ) is owner of all men and women and anyone who wants to touch any man or woman should take permission through Nikah and then no problem to touch.

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Putting a red line between two beings that have a high possibility of attracting.

It all starts with a touch. People don’t just end up in bed.

but also to emphasize, red lines are different than separation. And most our communities now adays go for complete separation of men and women, where we end up with men and women looking at each other with pure lust only. And a simple interaction could lead to flares. Which also creates sick societies.

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On 6/15/2019 at 4:49 PM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

So what are the reasons why we don’t touch the opposite sex? Other than “Allah told us not to”?

Let's look at the biochemical changes associated with touching hands.

1.Touch appears to affect multiple brain regions at conscious and unconscious levels.

Do you know how many touch receptors are there in the skin of hands which get stimulated when we shake hands? Receptors which connect with parts of our brain like limbic system- the part of the brain concerned with emotions and feelings. There is stimulation of the reward centre in the brain after a friendly handshake and guess what we want more of that. Deny it all you want but that's how it is, that's the genetic programming of all vertebrates. 

2. Receptors stimulated after touching transmit signals by way of nerves which can go and affect the heart rate.

3.Friendly touching alters hormone levels in our blood. It decreases cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress and it increases oxytocin levels the 'cuddle' hormone which makes us feel closer to people.

We all know the sensation of stress, that we maybe didn't even know we were holding, leaving our bodies at someone's friendly touch. 

2. Hugging - transfer of pheromones and stimulation of olfactory system (sense of smell) that is DIRECTLY connected to our limbic system and is very strongly related with emotions. 

You can say shaking hands with a namehram doesn't affect your emotions in anyway but scientific evidence says otherwise.

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