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In the Name of God بسم الله
rxdbx

Cutting of relatives

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Ayatollah Khamenei told me:

Bismihi Ta`ala

Salamun `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Cutting ties with one's blood relatives is haraam. However, maintaining ties with relatives is not confined to visiting them, but it also could be done through other means like phoning, messaging, etc.

With prayers for your success

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52 minutes ago, rxdbx said:

Salam, 

if you've read my previous thread, you know of the situation. 

I was wondering whether it is islamically right of me to cut ties with my cousins, and uncles and etc?

In your situation, ignoring them does not equate to cutting them off. 

Don't cut ties but also don't feel pressured to answer their texts if they are still harassing you.

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These answers seem crazy to me. My father was physically and mentally abusive and as soon as I could physically stop him I did. One of the happiest days of my life was when my Mother (may Allah bless and keep her) divorce him and kick him out. From the moment he was removed life got better in every conceivable way. 

It's hard for me to bring what everyone is saying together with Allah the ever merciful and ever just. To me it's like trying to put a round peg in a square hole. Can some please give a Qua'rnic or Hadith source? 

 

I mean I can understand (not really) the advice coming from a cultural or historical perspective, but man. It just doesn't seem to jive with me. 

 

I am truly not trying to start trouble, just learn.

Edited by funklebits
Added the learning bit

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@funklebits

Seventh Greater Sin: Qat’a ar-Rahm

https://www.al-Islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-ayatullah-Sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/seventh-greater-sin-qata-ar

But your father was not a blood relation to your mother? 

Edited by Ali~J

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7 minutes ago, Ali~J said:

@funklebits

Seventh Greater Sin: Qat’a ar-Rahm

https://www.al-Islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-ayatullah-Sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/seventh-greater-sin-qata-ar

But your father was not a blood relation to your mother? 

Thank you for this and nope from opposite sides of the world from each other.

 

After reading through this it looks like I am hell bound. 

Edited by funklebits
Read the reference and added the bit about going to hell

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3 minutes ago, funklebits said:

Thank you for this and nope from opposite sides of the world from each other.

Hmm, then from what I understand your mother's OK not contacting him because she's not a blood relative, so there's no problem there. 

But you should try to keep contact, if you literally can't contact him (on the phone or messaging, physical visiting isn't necessary (see my Ayatollah Khamenei post)) then I don't think it's an issue for you either then.... 

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26 minutes ago, funklebits said:

These answers seem crazy to me. My father was physically and mentally abusive and as soon as I could physically stop him I did. One of the happiest days of my life was when my Mother (may Allah bless and keep her) divorce him and kick him out. From the moment he was removed life got better in every conceivable way. 

It's hard for me to bring what everyone is saying together with Allah the ever merciful and ever just. To me it's like trying to put a round peg in a square hole. Can some please give a Qua'rnic or Hadith source? 

 

I mean I can understand (not really) the advice coming from a cultural or historical perspective, but man. It just doesn't seem to jive with me. 

 

I am truly not trying to start trouble, just learn.

"A man said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allaah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” (Reported by Muslim with commentary by al-Nawawi, 16/115)"

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1 hour ago, rxdbx said:

Salam, 

if you've read my previous thread, you know of the situation. 

I was wondering whether it is islamically right of me to cut ties with my cousins, and uncles and etc?

salam,

What happened with Nabi Muhammad (s) & his(s) relation with his(s) uncle, say Abu Lahab? It is a difficult one indeed, being tried through relations. Islamically. Haven't read your previous threads so don't about your situation, @ least maybe they don't do crazy stuff to be you or try to since you are not there for reasons like tabarra & tawalla. Listening to ' good music' is good then when thinking of the enemies of AB(عليه السلام), then you try & distance yourself, even so with cousins unless of course they are afflicted.

ws

 

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What if your relatives were from among this group. 

Tauba 80. “Whether you ask forgiveness for them or do not ask forgiveness for them; if you ask forgiveness for them seventy times, Allah will not forgive them; this is because they disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger; and Allah does not guide the ungodly people.”

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12 minutes ago, Raheel Yunus said:

And if they are creating troubles in my life deliberately.

ik how you feel been their n felt hurt

it hurts when you get backstabbed

ill pray that Allah makes it easy for you n try to talk to someone.

Seek help.

 

 

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How do I maintain contact with my mother? I really don't know what to message her, last time we talked was on June 14..

I don't know what to send to her.

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1 hour ago, rxdbx said:

How do I maintain contact with my mother? I really don't know what to message her, last time we talked was on June 14..

I don't know what to send to her.

"Salam Mum, I know you are probably angry with me but I wanted to let you know I am fine. I love and miss you and 'father+sibling. InshAllah I will come and see you soon" 

Please be ready for angry reply. You are not sending it with expectations of a warm response, you are just sending it to fulfill your responsibility.

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On 6/14/2019 at 3:20 PM, funklebits said:

After reading through this it looks like I am hell bound. 

As a Christian, I admire teachings that encourage us to honor our father and mother. This was part of the Law of Moses. Jesus said he did not come to abolish the Law but to fulfill it. And I take comfort in Jesus' words when I am persecuted by my family and they have cut off ties with me because of my belief in Jesus' gospel of Repentance; Jesus warned His followers that in the last days one's enemies would be the members of his own household. I can think of no greater emotional pain than that in this life. I think it is better, however, to suffer separation from our loved ones than to suffer separation from God (hell). I believe separation from my family does not send me to hell. According to Jesus, it is only a sign that God is first in my life, not my family.

34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the Earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.
37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. - Matthew 10:34-39

I do not know your situation. But I have separated physically from abusive husbands. I do not believe God will send me to hell. I believe Jesus died in my place for that sin and all others, so I will never be separated from God.

I hope I am not offensive. And I pray God will give you peace in the words of many counselors. Blessings,

 

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10 hours ago, rxdbx said:

How do I maintain contact with my mother? I really don't know what to message her, last time we talked was on June 14..

I don't know what to send to her.

You should go and see your mum. Leaving home like this is wrong.

Edited by Quran313

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16 hours ago, Quran313 said:

You should go and see your mum. Leaving home like this is wrong.

My dad is home now, and so are my uncles. I can't go home, on top of that I have a restraining order on my dad and uncles.

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On 7/1/2019 at 3:48 PM, rxdbx said:

How do I maintain contact with my mother? I really don't know what to message her, last time we talked was on June 14..

I don't know what to send to her.

our mothers are everything. It hurts when relations with them is toxic. May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) forgive our weaknesses. Last night I lost it. No matter what happened, we need to restrain ourselves. 

She taught me to speak, now am using speach against her.

Please pray for me & her, more for her. I love her but we're not meant to be together. She trusts in God more than I do(actions speak louder). She says if God had decreed for her to live the way she does, it's fine, she says that with a teardrop in her prayers. I know people are messing with God. So I too pray to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to make it firm within that we only live to worship Him(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) not 8, not anything, not the dead.

Edited by Mzwakhe

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On 6/14/2019 at 5:20 PM, funklebits said:

Thank you for this and nope from opposite sides of the world from each other.

 

After reading through this it looks like I am hell bound. 

you know brother, it’s much easier nowadays to do Silat Al-R’hm without doing much. Just text him I hope you are doing well every once in a while, you don’t have to do anything else to be honest. 

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