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In the Name of God بسم الله
GabrielWithoutWings

If I convert, would I have to abandon my wife?

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1 hour ago, LeftCoastMom said:

But...If she's agnostic, like her husband, then she'd doesn't  know if there's a God. ( Granted, I don't think he said she is.) The " Serenity Prayer" is not a creed nor does it contain any expression of faith. A person of any number of religions could wear it. It's a nice prayer, but it's basically meaningless for assessing doctrine in regards to Christianity.

Reborn-hearing about Imam Hussain made me Muslim (he has wife & children like as current situation of @GabrielWithoutWings)

 

Edited by Ashvazdanghe

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1 minute ago, Aragaia said:

We should judge by behaviour not by appearance. Especially by chirstian jewellery like that which are worn more by  unbelieving people than by beliving ones.

Can you read her mind also behavior is appearance too ,people can behave religiously but don't believe to their action 

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18 minutes ago, Aragaia said:

That's very Liberal but completely unislamic. You're basically saying the ruling in the Qur'an is not of signifigance and can be ignored.

It's actually NOT " very liberal". I think some of the opinions here are being pretty " liberal" in what they consider a Christian ( I.e....personal belief doesn't matter, just be part of a community that has Easter egg hunts!).  In my opinion, beliefs do matter. As for the Qur'an, I'm pretty  sure Mohammed had a fair idea of what a Christian was. So, if you're saying anyone within spitting distance of a Christmas tree counts, that seems pretty shaky.

If you're going that far, just go the rest of the way and let folks stay with their secular partners.

 

Just my two cents.

Edited by LeftCoastMom

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Look, it's easy to make sweeping fiqh statements on the internet, but would you really break apart this family or keep this believer away from Islam? We're talking about real people with real lives, not hypothetical situations. 

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1) Belief in God: A Natural Instinct

Belief in God is as natural as any instinct can be. An atheist asked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq how could he convince him about the existence of God. Coming to know that the man had gone several times on sea voyages, Imam asked him “Have you ever been caught in a fierce storm in middle of nowhere, your rudder gone, your sails torn away, trying desperately to keep your boat afloat?” The answer was `Yes'. Then Imam asked: “And sometimes perhaps even that leaking boat went down leaving you exhausted and helpless on the mercy of raging waves?”

The answer was again `Yes'.
Then Imam asked: “Was not there, in all that black despair, a glimmer of hope in your heart that some unnamed and unknown power could still save you?” When he agreed, Imam said: “That power is God.”
That atheist was intelligent. He knew the truth when he saw it.

https://www.al-Islam.org/God-Islamic-perspective-Sayyid-saeed-akhtar-Rizvi/part-1-belief-God

15) The Safest Course for Agnostics

As was mentioned earlier, Russell claimed to be an agnostic. If we take that claim on its face-value, then the best and safest course for him would have been to believe in a Creator and Day of Judgement.

Here is a tradition of Imam Ja'far as- Sadiq (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)

Ibn Abi al-`Awja' and Ibn al-Mugaffa` were sitting in Masjidu'l-haram at the time of pilgrimage, with some of their fellow atheists. (They pretended to be Muslims just to save their skins; but were always openly arguing against the belief in God.) Ibn al-Mugaffa` said pointing towards the space around Ka'bah: “Do you see this mob? There is none among them who may be called human being except that old man (that is, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq - p.b.u.h.). As for the others, they are just tattles and animals.” Ibn Abi al-`Awja' asked how could he say such a thing?

Ibn al-Mugaffa` said: “Because I found with him (the virtues and knowledge) which I did not find anywhere else.”

Ibn Abi al-`Awja' said: “Now it is necessary to test whether what you say is true.” Ibn al-Mugaffa` tried to dissuade him from it. But Ibn Abi al-`Awja' went to the Imam. lie came back after sometime and said: “O' Ibn al Mugaffa`, he is not just human being. If there were in this world a spiritual thing . . . which becomes a body if wishes so, and turns into a spirit if wants so, then it is he.”

Ibn al-Mugaffa` said: “How-come?” Ibn Abi al-`Awja' said: “I sat near him. When all others went away, he started talking ( without my asking anything) and said ` If the fact is as they believe and it is as they (that is, the pilgrims) say, then they would be saved and you would be in trouble. And if the fact is as you (atheists) say, and not as they say, then you and they both would be equal (and no harm would come to anybody)' “I said: `May Allah have mercy on you, what is it which we say and what is it which they say? My belief and their belief is but one.' “Imam said: `How could your belief and their belief be the same ? They say that there is to be resurrection, and reward and punishment; and they believe that there is a God.' ” (And you do not believe it).

Imam meant that if there was in reality no God and no Day of Judgement, as Ibn Abi al-`Awja' said, then the believers and non believers will be in the same position after death. Both will perish for ever and nobody would suffer for his belief or dis-belief. On the other hand, if there is a God and a Day of Judgement, as the believers say, then after death the believers would be saved and would be blessed, while the atheists and non-believers would have to suffer. Therefore, it is the dictate of wisdom to have Faith and Belief in God and Day of Judgement, to save oneself from the possibility of disgrace and eternal punishment. The reader should also see the chapter “Pascal's Bet” in Need of Religion.

https://www.al-Islam.org/God-Islamic-perspective-Sayyid-saeed-akhtar-Rizvi/part-1-belief-God#15-safest-course-agnostics

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11 hours ago, LeftCoastMom said:

It's actually NOT " very liberal". I think some of the opinions here are being pretty " liberal" in what they consider a Christian ( I.e....personal belief doesn't matter, just be part of a community that has Easter egg hunts!).  In my opinion, beliefs do matter. As for the Qur'an, I'm pretty  sure Mohammed had a fair idea of what a Christian was. So, if you're saying anyone within spitting distance of a Christmas tree counts, that seems pretty shaky.

If you're going that far, just go the rest of the way and let folks stay with their secular partners.

 

Just my two cents.

It is very clear from the rulings of our Marjaa(eminent scholars) that, for the purposes of marriage, 'Ahl Al Kitab' or 'People of the Book' is defined by the person themselves and not by some doctrinal test. The reason for that should be very obvious to most people, at least in terms of Christainity. The reason is there is very little in terms of 'shared belief' concerning who Jesus(p.b.u.h) was, what the 'Bible' is, and who God(s.w.a) is amoung the many Christian denominations. I'm sure you are aware of this. There are some common things, which is what I stated in my previous post. So, logically, how can there be a doctrinal test within Islam for who is 'Christian', since Islam does not subscribe, in a wholesale fashion, to any of the denominations ? Please answer that, then we can continue. 

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5 hours ago, GabrielWithoutWings said:

Thanks for your time guys. I got an answer from a scholar. Time for me to move along. 

Duas for your family and for your guidance. 

Even our marjas are not infallible. I encourage you to continue to study Islam and if you find it to be true, you are Muslim. God will not give any person more burden than they can bear. 

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6 hours ago, GabrielWithoutWings said:

Thanks for your time guys. I got an answer from a scholar. Time for me to move along. 

I would strongly, strongly urge you to seek multiple opinions from various Imams and scholars, before doing anything. At least consider it.

It is known that even Christian women, when converting to Islam, can stay married to their Christian husband. So why not a man staying married to his wife?

Islam emphasizes on keeping a family unit together as much as possible. Please get several second opinions (in person) as this doesn’t sound right. You need to properly explain your situation to someone in person. Because there is one thing that many people lack when online: context. And most people don’t explain everything online like they would in person.

A convert’s marriage is an exception, because the two people got married BEFORE converting. It says to not GET married to someone who doesn’t believe if you are unmarried. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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5 hours ago, GabrielWithoutWings said:

Thanks for your time guys. I got an answer from a scholar. Time for me to move along. 

I actually know of a white British convert sister who has been Shia Muslim for over 10 years. She has remained with her non Muslim husband for all this time and she continues to do hijab, pray, fast, basically do all her wajibats. This is alongside attending majalis and other events at her local Shia mosque. During her conversion, she sought advice and was told she can remain with him. They have a good understanding relationship and have been together for many many years and even have grown up grandchildren. 

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@GabrielWithoutWings: converting to Islam is a massive step, so don’t think about divorce. (You don’t have to divorce her, anyway.) 

if you divorce your wife, you’ll be making things extremely difficult for yourself. Take it easy. If you divorce your wife now, things might get so difficult that you may leave Islam altogether. 

Stay married.

Because your marriage is still valid. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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