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In the Name of God بسم الله
ali_fatheroforphans

Parents behaviour towards their children

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Salam,

There is this issue of fiqh vs akhlaq. 

Islamically is it alright for parents to lose themselves, raise their voice and use bad words against their children? Say if their children aren't listening or happen to be annoying them?

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1 hour ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

There is this issue of fiqh vs akhlaq. 

Islamically is it alright for parents to lose themselves, raise their voice and use bad words against their children? Say if their children aren't listening or happen to be annoying them?

did the Prophet or Fatimah Zahra or Imam Ali ever raise their voice at Hassan Hussain? Did they condescend them? they treated them with respect and spoke to them the way they spoke to other adults

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15 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

There is this issue of fiqh vs akhlaq. 

Islamically is it alright for parents to lose themselves, raise their voice and use bad words against their children? Say if their children aren't listening or happen to be annoying them?

Wa Alikum Assalam Wa Rahamah

Sheikh Hussain Korani says you are acting like Pharaoh when you are screaming on your children.  It's a form of oppression.

Once you start yelling at your children, expect them to learn that behavior and start using the same method with you or with their siblings and other people.

If you are asking is it a sin to yell at your children, I have no idea.  

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

 

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Am I the only one who supports parents to spank their children if they did something wrong? :hahaha:

 

Always talk with your children in calm and good way, don’t raise your voice or insult them specially if it’s infront of others. Nowadays, people want children but they are not ready for responsibilities. 

 

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As salaamun aleikym,

All I can say is children need to know what is expected of them according to their age. They need firm boundaries established and parents and other people that come in contact with children need to be consistent in these issues. 

Too many people let their kids be wild without any type of guidelines and ive seen first hand how this has manifested its self, for examle, on the ways kids behave amongst themselves, towards their teacher and towards the Islamic environment in general. 

Many people close to me work at an Islamic school and a good portion of the kids behave ATTROCIOUSLY, they don’t respect knowledeg, the teacher, the school, Islam, or even themselves.

My suspicion is this has to do with either not enough guidance and correction at home, or that the guidance they get at home isnt just or reasonable. These 2 things make all tbe difference in how a child will interact in the world, as well as how it shapes are psychology and how they will interact with other people and with their own families in the future when they establish their own families.

The problem is, most parents think what they're doing is right when they have no idea how hidden Injustice and unfairness exists in the way they discipline and guide their children.

Children may not consciously recognize what's going on but they'll feel it inside and they will act according to that. I'm actually myself a product of that and at 43 years old, it is a constant struggle that I don't know if I will ever overcome to reverse the damage that was done by faulty parenting. And I didn't grow up in a Islamic household..my parents didnt have Islam, the Prophet, or the Imams as rolemodels.  

Parents need to figure out what they're doing and do it correctly or just don't have kids. I hate to say it, it might just be better to not have kids instea of raising dysfunctional, disrespectfull, damaged children, then releasing them into society to create more damage 

A bit harsh, I know, but reality is not "nicey nicey, lets not hurt everyones feelings"..That kind of thinking is what causes problems in the world. When people who stand for justice, fairness, and correctness have their mouths shut by peope who don’t want to call a spade a spade, we can expect things to go even MORE astray, including children. 

I know this doesnt answer he OPs question, just something I wanted to say, cuz theres DEFINETLY an issue in our communities of parents who think its totally ok to just let kids do whatever they want and not correct them.

(I am not advocating for any kind of abuse here, so in sha Allah no one misunderstands my post)

W/s

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20 minutes ago, nil said:

I recommend everyone who wish to have kids read this book. A concised book yet discussed almost all the basic principles of proper upbringing method.

https://www.al-Islam.org/Prophets-attitude-towards-children-and-youth-Muhammad-Ali-chenarani

 

Wonderful! Thanks for sharing 

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