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In the Name of God بسم الله

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It honestly is one of those things where you have to bite the bullet and do it. That one first step is the hardest, and the feeling of a thousand eyes on you, and I know the feeling, truly is in your head.

I had similar reservations about returning to pray at the local Sunni mosque which I had been part of since they opened but stopped going since I started following Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام), as you can imagine the thoughts of peoples eyes on me praying openly as a Shia with a turbah, but as it turned out, no one cares about us in that sense, no one batted an eyelid. It was in in my head that kept me from returning all these years. I regularly attend when I can.

 

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I know how it feels like, I have social anxiety till now. I’m trying my best to fight it. The mosque I attend is small, there is few people so I never had any anxiety. I have a big terror when I pray in prayer room where both Sunnis and Shias can pray, but they (Sunnis) never attacked me so since few months I feel comfortable praying infont of others. I recommend you to start attending Friday prayers, you should try it. 

 

Edit:- Oh my God, just now I remember last year I went to Sunni Mosque for Eid prayer, I will never forget that day :hahaha:

Edited by Diaz

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1 hour ago, Propaganda_of_the_Deed said:

It honestly is one of those things where you have to bite the bullet and do it

 

37 minutes ago, Diaz said:

I recommend you to start attending Friday prayers, you should try it. 

Just not ready for that and I feel like a total outlander. Who knows, maybe at a Twelve based mosque I would fit in more, but I don't feel confident making that first step in case I get thrown out by my ear. Besides, I don't think there are any mosques nearby that aren't heavily Pakistani cultured, not saying their culture is a bad thing because my family is British Pakistani now... But these are two very different cultures. I would benefit from Arab and English sermons so at least I feel some relativity.

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I go to mosque for majlis usually but I get in trouble because as soon as the lecture ends, I go home due to social anxiety. I have so many acquaintances and if you don't say salam to them, they get offended. Desi culture puts a lot of emphasis on akhlaq and even when I do try to greet people, I don't show proper akhlaq and I end up offending people anyway. People consider it arrogance and I offend so many people due to social anxiety. 

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I had social anxiety before, and would dread going to the mosque. I always worried about everything and thought as if everyone was against me.

I can say that I've gotten rid of 90% of my shyness or social anxiety, and nothing really bothers me anymore. I have realised that people can be lovely and it's irrational to think they always have something against us.

Once you focus on getting rid of your social anxiety in general, it will help you in every area of life. Start off small but make sure you're consistently exposing yourself to people and doing something which makes you uncomfortable. If you stuff up, be proud of yourself regardless since you took the first step. It's a gradual process and you can't get rid of it overnight. It took me like 4 years to overcome it. However it's different for everyone.

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13 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

Desi culture puts a lot of emphasis on akhlaq

I need to meet these desis you speak of! Maybe it's me, maybe when I'm gone they throw an akhlaq party.

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1 hour ago, aaaz1618 said:

I need to meet these desis you speak of! Maybe it's me, maybe when I'm gone they throw an akhlaq party.

Your definition of akhlaq must be different. For desis, extrovert personality equals to akhlaq. Big smile, someone who seems genuinely interested in you and long conversations. I am often absorbed in my own problems and I am over-analyzing everything anyone says.  I have also developed a problem with social media, I express myself without any filter especially when I am angry. So I also feel like all eyes focused on me, judging me and it's not just my imagination, they are really judging me. Anyway, I have heard people complaining about specific people's akhlaq and I know they are perfectly nice people with introvert personalities. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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19 hours ago, aaaz1618 said:

For anyone that suffers from social anxiety, or just anxiety in general, how do you bring yourself to go to mosque?

I can personally relate. I have severe social anxiety and some days I really don't like getting out of bed to go to school and it's really hard to go on. In terms of the Mosque I only go in Muhurram and the Shahadats and that's only because my family basically makes me go. 

When I go I get really tired and scared and I have to take a long cloak to wrap myself around in to feel safe and secure (the mosque I go to, a lot of people do this as a fashion choice so no it does not look weird when I do wear one). 

Unfortunately I don't know if I'll ever overcome this, I've never had much social contact even at school, my whole life I've just watched and observed people's behaviour. But I can never talk to them, I get too nervous then. I isolate myself, people there know that they should avoid me and they do. I just have my family and once they're gone I won't have anyone. 

But I'll always try my hardest to worship God in my own house, that's all that matters.

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I remember when I was in college, we had to give presentation in one class and there was a hijabi Muslim girl who was crying by the end of presentation and she just ran out of class due to social anxiety. I miss those days when it was okay to have social anxiety. Working has become like doing a presentation in front of a group of people for 8 hours and no one understands the problem of social anxiety. People tell you "don't be shy" like there is a switch which you can just turn off and become confident. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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