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In the Name of God بسم الله
Isaam

I don’t feel close to Allah anymore.

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I know what you guys are thinking, I post to much and the same topics and all that stuff. But I really need help guys.

About 2-4 weeks ago I started to not feel presence of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I read all 5 salats and I don’t feel him. I’ve fasted many days this Ramadan and I don’t feel his presence. I use to feel his presence 24/7 I use to think about him always being here for me. I don’t feel him anymore and it’s making me sad. I get atheist thoughts now. Every time I try to watch an Islamic video on YouTube, there are always anti-Muslim comments. The comments are usually ‘God doesn’t exist’ and ‘There is no proof of God and it is a false theory by you stupid religious humans’ or I get videos in my YouTube recommendations as ‘Son of sheikh says Jesus is savior after leaving Islam’ . Then on other videos they say ‘Muslims worship Satan’ and then they say ‘look at these verses in the Qur'an this one says slavery is fine and this one says it’s fine to kill Christians and Jews’ my faith goes down more. I feel like I need to read the Qur'an in English now. And in the comments people with like the name Muhammad something or Abdul something say why they left Islam and became an atheist or a Christian who is anti-Muslim. I keep getting stupid YouTube recommendations for The Arabian Prophet or The Christian Prince, who are all trying to get people to leave Islam and there videos make me feel worse. I’ve stopped watching them but they still come into mind, and I feel depressed.

I feel like I’m doubting is there a God? How do we know there is a God? How do we know Muhammad ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) is a true Prophet? Is (Shi’a) Islam the best and correct religion? Is there really a heaven and a hell? How can I get the feeling of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) back into my life?

Guys please help me with these questions if you can. I feel so lost and misguided and I feel so depressed. I’m not happy anymore. I’m afraid of just perishing after death or if our religion is wrong, and we get put in hellfire. 

Edited by Isaam

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Salaam, 

I went through a phase similar to this and I think we all have to some extent. It's just a lot of people don't admit it.

Firstly: 

6 minutes ago, Isaam said:

About 2-4 weeks ago I started to not feel presence of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I read all 5 salats and I don’t feel him. 

Some people go their entire lives just to experience a tiny moment in which they can actually FEEL the presence of God, people with a very high status have been there. I wouldn't stress out too much if you do not feel the presence of God, just know o that he is always there. 

Which brings me onto the second point:

9 minutes ago, Isaam said:

I feel like I’m doubting is there a God? How do we know there is a God? How do we know Muhammad ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) is a true Prophet? Is (Shi’a) Islam the best and correct religion? Is there really a heaven and a hell? How can I get the feeling of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) back into my life?

This is obviously a test, trust me brother/sister God is simply testing your faith, we've all been there including myself eventually all these doubts will go away. You must have hope. I advise that you surround yourself with your family members who can help you through this time so you can carry on fasting, praying and reading the Qur'an keeping you on the right path and Inshallah you will see the light once again. 

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When I go through a depressive episode I often lose faith. My religious practice drops massively, but, and here is an important point, I always knew Allah exists. I knew He was there and I knew that one day I would be okay.

The comments on YouTube, I forget whether it was you or another person I replied to, but people see flaws that aren't necessarily real.

Peoplehate what they don't know, and it is easier to hate than to love, because to love you need to invest your time and deepest emotions which makes you vulnerable. Hate, hate is easy, you don't need to know someone to hate them, hate involves no emotional connection. These people who hate Islam, hate Allah, they fall into the latter.

I know you question Allah's existence, but deep down inside do you believe in Him? Questioning is normal, we all do it, but do you still hold on to that belief, no matter how dark or clouded your vision is? If so, don't worry, the fog always lifts when the light shines, you just need to have faith and wait for that light to come again. It takes time, but it will happen.

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...And also, my advice is to strip things down to the basics, just do the basics of religion and allow your relation with Allah to build. Don't distract yourself with YouTube, serious religious debate or overcomplicated matters of the maddhab. These things will only put doubts in your head.

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1 minute ago, aaaz1618 said:

 

I know you question Allah's existence, but deep down inside do you believe in Him? Questioning Is normal, we all do it, but do you still hold on to that belief, no matter how dark or clouded your vision is?

I do believe there is a creator, but when I read stuff atheists posts, my doubts get worse and my faith is so very little. I need Allah back in my life I try to talk to him, but I don’t feel him anymore

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6 minutes ago, Isaam said:

I do believe there is a creator, but when I read stuff atheists posts, my doubts get worse and my faith is so very little. I need Allah back in my life I try to talk to him, but I don’t feel him anymore

So long as you believe there is a creator, He will bring you back to Him. You, like many, many people, have hit a wall and you will find your way. I hit a wall myself at one point, and I felt like leaving it all, but I couldn't, not just because I would lose my wife and children, but because my life would be meaningless if I left Allah. Life still has meaning even when we are down in the deepest holes of our inner mind, we just can't see it, just because we can't see it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  Sadly, atheists often ignore this, but you know better than them, so don't let someone who knows less have the upper hand.

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11 minutes ago, aaaz1618 said:

hit a wall myself at one point, and I felt like leaving it all, but I couldn't, not just because I would lose my wife and children, but because my life would be meaningless if I left Allah. Life still has meaning even when we are down in the deepest holes of our inner mind,

My mom told me Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) tests our faith in different ways. One of hers was her brother dying 19 years ago at the age of 21 in a motorcycle accident.

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As salaamun aleikum,

Just want to say a few things here...

First off, we all go through spiritual highs and lows. As long as you know Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) exists, as do you and everything else, you will be fine. Every "thing" that exists is the zahiri/outwardly proof/manifestation of His existence.

2nd, don’t base your religion and beliefs on "feelings". Feelings are subject to change due to many factors such as mood, chemical imbalances, external events, medications, lack of sleep, build up or relief of stress etc.. At the end of the day,theyre kida like illusions and can lead you astray, especially if youre expecting your feelings to be a type of personal evidence for Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I agree there can be special moments and experiencs we can be granted that can help reassure us, or even catapult us to the next level of iman or yaqeen, but feelings are not meant to be used as a constant indicator of Allahs(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) precence or existence, or even as an indicator of how "close" we are to Him.

3rd, my honest suggestion is to stop with the atheistic/islamophobic/X Muslim videos. Why? Because you,me and may others are not at a level where our knowledge of Islam is koor(voluminous/large amount).

Koor is a measurement of a large ammount of water and when something najis such as drops of blood or urine enters it, the water  doesnt become najis because it is such a large volumnious amount.

However, a glass of water has a qalil (little) amount of water in it, so if a few drops of blood or urine falls into it,the entire glass of water becomes najis. The same thing is the case with Islamic knowledge.

If your Islamic knowledge is very little, and you encounter a "najis" statement, point of view, comment, etc, and you don’t have koor (large/voluminous) knowledge to answer that najis point, you become existentially najis, meaning,because you get these doubts about Allahs(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) existence,or whether the Qur'an is correct,etc. YOU yourself become najis. The only thing left to do is to search out the correct answers to these questions in order to purify yourself from the najisifying thoughts and falsehood youve become contaminated/najisified with.

The problem with delving into those videos, comments, discussions, etc when your knowledge is qalil (little) vs koor (voluminous) is that sometimes people don't come back..For whatever reason, they continue  being mislead. Some just leave religion, others become depressed and go in a completely different direction in life that leads them away from the Truth..

That's why it's very dangerous to entertain yourself with these types of videos and comments, at least until you have enough powerful VOLUMINOUS  knowledge behind you to combat these types of encounters,so they don’t enter you and render your very existence najis,which brings me to my last point.

You're here on shiachat, and that's great because there's a lot of really knowledgeable people here that can guide you and help you get the answers to your questions. Another  good resource is Al Islam, and there are others...Spend your time reading actual Islamic literature as opposed to visiting random Youtube sites. SaveYouTube for legit credentialed Islamic speakers that have studied at Hawza, and stay away from these random people who became Christian or atheist based on their own deficiency (qalil) knowledge. Many if them are fake stories anyway,intentionally put there to mislead othes.

Some speakers I suggest you listen to in place of these random you tubers are:

Khalil Jaffer

Dr.. Ali Shomali

Dr.. Farrokh Sekaleshfar

Hajj Hassanain Rajabali

Im sure others would be happy to make further suggestions.

Another thing to do, is start picking up books. Look for books by Allameh Tabatabai, Shahid Mutahari, Ayatullah Mizbah Yazdi, Dastghaib...

Hope this helps,

W/s

 

 

 

Edited by shia farm girl

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4 minutes ago, Noor Taleb said:

I go through this myself too alot 

but May Allah make you find your peace and conviction.

Thank you! This is why I come on Shiachat I have a community there for me. You should come on here as well, because it seems that members leave like after a month of being here

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12 minutes ago, Shia farm girl said:

You're here on shiachat, and that's great because there's a lot of really knowledgeable people here that can guide you and help you get the answers to your questions.

Thank you! You guys are very helpful and knowledgeable 

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1 hour ago, Isaam said:

I do believe there is a creator, but when I read stuff atheists posts, my doubts get worse and my faith is so very little. I need Allah back in my life I try to talk to him, but I don’t feel him anymore

Salam.

Just to share what happen in self and peaceful feeling that we may have experienced. 

Islam is based on trust in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  And insist and persist in this trust.  Complete the salat 5 times a day.  We ask Him(عليه السلام) in surah al-fatiha...show me the right path.  So we have belief plus actions.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will show the path, a little bit at time. He will raise a little question in us, then He will show the answer.  He also will slowly allow our awareness toward Him in milliseconds, then He will want us to strive toward it so we are used to it.  When we reach to that awareness, He will show more.  This process will continue until we die.  Once we are strong in foundation, He will show us the awareness of Ahmad and Ahlul Bayt.  And through them, we will be truly aware of Names of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  Then we will understand the meaning of Tauhid because we can feel it or see it.  The real peace will manifest in our souls. That moment, the love of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the true love, it is like the love of Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) to his Rabb (Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)), even though it a small portion.

Persist in trusting Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  Just like others who advise you to read  or listen to good lectures... all these to focus your heart toward Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and trusting Him.

May all of us be guided! 

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Clear your YouTube search and viewing history and browser cache so these “recommended videos” don’t show up. Watching videos on full screen will also distract you away from the recommended video sidebar. 

There are browser extensions I believe that remove the YouTube comments section and recommended video sidebar.

And finally, don’t underestimate the power of a physical book.

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Atheist are searching for God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. They just don't know it is God they are searching for. Their souls long for a relationship with Him. It's part of our design. It's who we are. It sounds to me like you are searching for God, but other's (media, propaganda, people) are getting in your way. The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He will stop at nothing to prevent your relationship with God from flourishing. I would recommend that you don't watch videos right now and instead, spend quiet time alone in silent prayer with God. Listen for His still, small voice to speak to you. He is there. He does notice you. He loves you. He wants you. Blessings on you.

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