Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
ali_fatheroforphans

How to spot genuine and true friends

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

A true friend will always be there for you, even if you don’t ask them to

She will give you solid and real advice bc she knows best

she gives you a shoulder to cry on

she gives you space to rant

she pisses you off but that’s okay 

and sometimes you choose her over your family because theres no other person you can relate to

She’s happy when you’re happy

she tries as much as she can to fulfill other people’s favours

and even if we got into the worst beef, she will never leave you and never stop being your friend.

@Ruqaya101

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, IbnSina said:

The holy Qur'an warns us about taking non Muslims as close friends rather than true Muslims.

What if your non-Muslim friends respect you and support you to pray while your Muslim friends laughs at you for leaving them because you want to pray?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

They give you honest advice which you may find hard to digest.

What I find the most annoying about a friend, no matter how good they are at everything else, is when they aren’t able to provide you honest advice and keep saying everything is good. 

Example, you’re trying on clothes at a store and they say everything looks good on you, even the ugly ones. 

I understand that they may be shy to express how they really feel or maybe they do think everything is fine, but considering I’ve seen some people offering other peopke honest advice and not me just shows me that there’s something that holds them back. 

At some point in life you only want to surround yourself with people who are honest (and everything else on your list) because their “it’s fine” gets very annoying very fast. Having people who can offer you insight when you ask for it is very beneficial as you’re growing up. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, IbnSina said:

The holy Qur'an warns us about taking non Muslims as close friends rather than true Muslims.

Qur'an 4:144

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَتَّخِذُوا الْكَافِرِينَ أَوْلِيَاءَ مِن دُونِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ۚ أَتُرِيدُونَ أَن تَجْعَلُوا لِلَّـهِ عَلَيْكُمْ سُلْطَانًا مُّبِينًا ﴿١٤٤

http://tanzil.net/#4:144

Ali Quli Qarai Translation -
 O you who have faith! Do not take the faithless for friends instead of the faithful. Do you wish to give Allah a clear sanction against yourselves?(144)

Shakir Translation - 
O you who believe! do not take the unbelievers for friends rather than the believers; do you desire that you should give to Allah a manifest proof against yourselves? (144)

Pickthall Translation-
O ye who believe! Choose not disbelievers for (your) friends in place of believers. Would ye give Allah a clear warrant against you? (144)

 

Anyway, there are probably many ways to understand this...

Maybe ask a scholar for more clarification...

Also, check out the links below:

https://www.al-Islam.org/enlightening-commentary-light-holy-Qur'an-vol-4/section-21-fate-hypocrites#surah-nisa-verse-144

https://www.almizan.org/

 

Edited by AStruggler

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Items

Question: Is it permissible for a Muslim to have a non-Muslim friend?

Answer: A Muslim is allowed to take non-Muslims for acquaintances and friends, to be sincere towards them and they be sincere towards him, to help one another in fulfilling the needs of this life.
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/14/2019 at 1:34 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Yeah it doesn't matter if they are non-Muslims. My best friend is a Hindu and I consider him to be a true friend.

Yeah, I've had friends of all kinds of walks of life. One of my friends is a religious Jew, another is a Pagan, others are Twelvers like us. For some reason though, Hindus don't often seem to want to get along :ko: Although there have been exceptions at times in my experience. And I've worked jobs with Christians, who are usually fine (my brother is a Christian). Atheists are too easy to find though :hahaha:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/14/2019 at 6:18 AM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Which verse is in your mind? I'm happy to look into it.

 

On 5/14/2019 at 11:48 AM, Zaid Bin Ali said:

What if your non-Muslim friends respect you and support you to pray while your Muslim friends laughs at you for leaving them because you want to pray?

There are numerous ayahs about it as well as hadiths that you find easily through googling it.

However they are referring to CLOSE friends, not just "friends" or people you know. Close friends are the ones who affect your way of thinking and living and the holy Qur'an as well as hadiths warn us about the effect non Muslims can have on our way of thinking or living.

Take these hadiths who speak very directly about it as an example:

The Prophet of Islam(S) has said:

“A man follows the faith, ways and habits of his friend." Usul al-Kafi, v 72, p. 375

Imam Ali(عليه السلام) said:

"Avoid making friendship with transgressors and sinning persons because evil creates evil." Bihar al-anwar, v 74, p. 199

It is okay to keep friends with non Muslims, but one should not make CLOSE friends with them to the degree that they affect your life and way of thinking. One should definitely not take a non Muslim as a guardian.

Instead one should make close friends with TRUE Muslims, that means real Muslims, not cultural Muslims. Personally if I cannot find true Muslims as close friends I rather not have close friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@IbnSina @AStruggler

Actually I have many good non-Muslim friends, but like youse said, it's good to not be super super close with them. I mean they do influence us to some degree, given the fact that they have no belief in God. If someone doesn't have belief in God, his whole worldview is distorted and it may be difficult to be on the same wavelength. I would say that going out for lunch or hanging out in the city with non-Muslim friends is fine and I don't see anything wrong with it. However it's an issue if we talk for hours and hours, and don't ever bring that spiritual element in our conversations. It's not good if we are constantly doing sleepovers and developing a very close bond with non-Muslims. I personally have a lot of respect for my non-Muslim friends and they aren't the type to party, get drunk etc. However I still need that one 'mu'min' friend who reminds me of God. This is the reason why I come on Shiachat and try to stay connected with everyone - because everyone here has that wilayah in their hearts. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for the support of the Shia community.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/15/2019 at 7:52 AM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

@IbnSina @AStruggler

Actually I have many good non-Muslim friends, but like youse said, it's good to not be super super close with them. I mean they do influence us to some degree, given the fact that they have no belief in God. If someone doesn't have belief in God, his whole worldview is distorted and it may be difficult to be on the same wavelength. I would say that going out for lunch or hanging out in the city with non-Muslim friends is fine and I don't see anything wrong with it. However it's an issue if we talk for hours and hours, and don't ever bring that spiritual element in our conversations. It's not good if we are constantly doing sleepovers and developing a very close bond with non-Muslims. I personally have a lot of respect for my non-Muslim friends and they aren't the type to party, get drunk etc. However I still need that one 'mu'min' friend who reminds me of God. This is the reason why I come on Shiachat and try to stay connected with everyone - because everyone here has that wilayah in their hearts. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for the support of the Shia community.

Me too, I understand how you feel. I know a lot of Shia dudes but most of them are f***boys, and they are disrespectful. I wish I can find one friend who is religious and remind me of God. 

On 5/15/2019 at 7:18 AM, IbnSina said:

There are numerous ayahs about it as well as hadiths that you find easily through googling it.

However they are referring to CLOSE friends, not just "friends" or people you know. Close friends are the ones who affect your way of thinking and living and the holy Qur'an as well as hadiths warn us about the effect non Muslims can have on our way of thinking or living.

Take these hadiths who speak very directly about it as an example:

The Prophet of Islam(S) has said:

“A man follows the faith, ways and habits of his friend." Usul al-Kafi, v 72, p. 375

Imam Ali(عليه السلام) said:

"Avoid making friendship with transgressors and sinning persons because evil creates evil." Bihar al-anwar, v 74, p. 199

It is okay to keep friends with non Muslims, but one should not make CLOSE friends with them to the degree that they affect your life and way of thinking. One should definitely not take a non Muslim as a guardian.

Instead one should make close friends with TRUE Muslims, that means real Muslims, not cultural Muslims. Personally if I cannot find true Muslims as close friends I rather not have close friends.

I completely agree with what you say, I wish I can find an open minded Muslim dude who can be my close friend but thats impossible. I’ve never seen anyone around my age in masjid which is sad, plus my Christian best friend is actually devoted, But he never brainwashed me or attacked me for my belief. Imagine, he wishes me In eid al adha even tho he is vegan. And he has a lot of Muslim friends. May Allah guide him. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/15/2019 at 9:19 PM, Zaid Bin Ali said:

completely agree with what you say, I wish I can find an open minded Muslim dude who can be my close friend but thats impossible. 

Yeah it's not always easy finding genuine Muslim friends, I mean I personally haven't developed a close bond with one irl, although I would love to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/14/2019 at 5:19 AM, 3wliya_maryam said:

A true friend will always be there for you, even if you don’t ask them to

She will give you solid and real advice bc she knows best

she gives you a shoulder to cry on

she gives you space to rant

she pisses you off but that’s okay 

and sometimes you choose her over your family because theres no other person you can relate to

She’s happy when you’re happy

she tries as much as she can to fulfill other people’s favours

and even if we got into the worst beef, she will never leave you and never stop being your friend.

@Ruqaya101

It can be a He as well, just saying :grin: haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...