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In the Name of God بسم الله

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I don’t think its dying, many people cheat on their first wives and keep secret second wives. Also, western people are becoming more open to polygamy and that's bound to affect Muslims' practice of polygamy because alot of people are probably held back by societal views towards polygamous relationships. 

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24 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

I don’t think its dying, many people cheat on their first wives and keep secret second wives. Also, western people are becoming more open to polygamy and that's bound to affect Muslims' practice of polygamy because alot of people are probably held back by societal views towards polygamous relationships. 

What do you mean by cheat. As in they have a haram relationship outside marriage ?

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5 minutes ago, Warilla said:

What do you mean by cheat. As in they have a haram relationship outside marriage ?

It's not haram per se, since it's done under the guise of a nikah/mutah. By cheat I mean go behind their first wife's back when there is a clear understanding that the wife entered the relationship in belief that he would remain faithful and monogamous. Bottom line is, lying is haram. Why would a man be exempt of that sin just because he does it to marry a second woman? 

Anyway, this is besides the point of your thread.

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4 hours ago, Warilla said:

Salaam would any here consider getting/being a second wife. As it seems to be a dying sunnah.

I think in our times, especially in the west, marrying a second wife would be problematic. 

If you can get the first wife's permission, then go for it.

But if the first wife doesn't give you permission, although you can still marry a second wife, obviously there is a high chance that the first marriage will end in shambles.  

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Salam,

I would like to only kindly remind all of you here that we always approach every subject from the Islamic perspective, not our own. First of all, save for the infallibles (Prophets, Imams), barely anyone from the non-infallible men had/has more than one wife. How many of our ulama do? How many of the great marjaʿ? Ayatollahs al-Khoei, Khomeini, Sistani, Khamenei, the Shirazi family, and others - may Allah be pleased with them all, nearly uniformly each had/have one wife. Besides, the verse on polygamy has to be understood within the context it was revealed. The tafsir is clear that it was revealed at the time when constant warfare and diseases took toll among the early Muslim community, and in order for women not to turn to formication, like in pagan times, and for widowed and not children to have full rights as per sharia law, unlike in pagan times, the surviving men were allowed to marry more than one wife. It was to prevent injustice in the society, not for the pleasure of men who just felt bored with their wife... The Qur'an is very clear on the matter; one has to provide financially AND emotionally equally for all the wives, and if he can’t do so, then he shouldn’t even think about more than one in this time and age. Nonetheless, do you brothers pray daily always on time? Perfectly conduct yourself in public and private sphere? Do you have Islamic knowledge on our theology? Is your current wife pleased with your everyday behaviour? Let’s start with that before thinking about more than one wife. Allahu Alam. 

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1 hour ago, OrthodoxTruth said:

The Qur'an is very clear on the matter; one has to provide financially AND emotionally equally for all the wives, and if he can’t do so, then he shouldn’t even think about more than one in this time and age.

In fiqh it’s not obligatory to support your wives equally in finance and emotion.

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1 hour ago, OrthodoxTruth said:

The Qur'an is very clear on the matter; one has to provide financially AND emotionally equally for all the wives, and if he can’t do so, then he shouldn’t even think about more than one in this time and age. 

The Qur'an in 4:3 actually refers to doing justice, not necessarily being literally "equal".

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The problem with men getting second wives is that usually haram is committed prior, with the second wife before marrying, and it’s kept in secret. 

I don’t think Muslim men would do multiple wives justice. They wouldn’t treat their wives all fairly with as much affection and care as the other. 

The only group who only seem to treat their wives well are Mormon Fundamentalists. Nothing is kept secret between them. And they seem surprisingly accepting and happy. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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7 hours ago, Warilla said:

Salaam would any here consider getting/being a second wife. As it seems to be a dying sunnah.

Nah I believe in the concept of having a soul-mate or the 'one'. Imagine if it was the other way around. If I really liked a woman and thought of her as the 'one', I would rather die than see her with another guy. Therefore, I will never ever marry a second wife. I'd rather give everything to my first.

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2 hours ago, Hassan- said:

In fiqh it’s not obligatory to support your wives equally in finance and emotion.

 

2 hours ago, Propaganda_of_the_Deed said:

The Qur'an in 4:3 actually refers to doing justice, not necessarily being literally "equal".

In my personal understanding, being just means treating all the wives equally, how can one be just when one wife gets less emotional and financial output of her husband than the other wife? That’s injustice right there. 

A translation by Yusuf Ali is shown below:

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

— Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 3
 

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1 minute ago, OrthodoxTruth said:

In my personal understanding, being just means treating all the wives equally, how can one be just when one wife gets less emotional and financial output of her husband than the other wife? That’s injustice right there. 

There is a difference between justice and equality. brother @Hassan- had translated a very nice video of an Ayatullah explaining the difference. Hopefully he will be able to post it here sometime. 

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Guest AbdulKarim_atx

Bismillah 

May Allah shower his blessings in Muhammad and his household 

Might  be time to do a topic thread on what Allah makes halal no person can make haraam and what Allah has made not permissible no person can make permissible. I always see people trying to make mutah and polygyny haraam.  Anyone who try’s to change what’s halal to haraam or vice versa will have to answer to Allah for their ignorance and arrogance about his laws. I have even seen one thread in which someone says they want to be the only wife for their husband in Jannah and they don’t want their husband to have other wives in Jannah.  Allah has given the Muslim male certain rites and bounties for certain roles that no one can take away.  

Do some people believe they know better than Allah about why he has made things permissible and some things not. No ones knowledge is equal to or greater than Allahs knowledge not even any of our Loved Prophets and holy Imams. The knowledge and laws they did receive came from Allah who is the most wise. You can’t disagree with some versus of Qur'an and not accept some versus because you have a personal dislike or lack of understanding of the Law. The laws and rules are not just for Muhammad’s time because the Qur'an is universal and divine command so it means rules and laws are applicable through out the entire duration of the Earth’s existence all the way up to the last day.  

It is an unbeliever trait to change Allahs laws and rules that are set in the Qur'an. Mutah was outlawed by the self appointed caliphs but it was reinstated by Ali AS the the first Imam and rightful commander and chief of the believers. Polygyny was legal during Muhammad time and it’s legal now. Who’s going to dispute with Allah???  Who are you to dispute with Allah about what he has made permissible and not permissible? Can you produce a book like that of the Qur'an or better? Ask Allah to forgive us our sins of Arrogance, our Sins of ignorance and our sins of Negligence. 

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1 hour ago, OrthodoxTruth said:

 

In my personal understanding, being just means treating all the wives equally, how can one be just when one wife gets less emotional and financial output of her husband than the other wife? That’s injustice right there. 

A translation by Yusuf Ali is shown below:

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

— Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 3
 

Salam, take a look at this video.

 

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6 hours ago, OrthodoxTruth said:

 

In my personal understanding, being just means treating all the wives equally

Allow me to stop you right there. Interpreting should not be derived from your personal understanding.

Watch from around 8:30, here Sayid Raza Rizvi talks about the difference between Adalat (justice) and Insaf (equity, the word is derived from the same word as nisf, or half).

I think your understanding seems closer to Insaf than Adalat.

 

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I'm already married, but if my husband wanted and felt that he could support a second wife, I'd deal with it. (I'd probably feel a little hurt at first.) I'd want to know and talk freely with the other wife, so we can help ensure equitable conditions. Justice is important. 

There's no way I'd agree to be a second wife without the first wife's consent, given directly to me by her. 

In theory though, no problem. 

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