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In the Name of God بسم الله
notme

Turning a negative into a positive

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Salam

I've recently been thinking about character traits, as here in this previous topic: https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235061551-feminine-and-masculine-traits/?page=4

Now I'd like to talk about negative character traits such as lust, greed, envy, laziness. 

Everyone has their trials in life, and some of them are built in to who we are. Let's discuss examples of taking a negative personality trait, a character flaw, and turning into something positive. 

An easy example would be a person who is hot tempered can learn to control and channel that reactionary emotion into something useful and beneficial and become known as a person who is passionate about some cause or activity. 

What other examples can you think of, where a character flaw can be used to build a character strength? 

Edited by notme
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What started my thinking about character traits was a non-Muslim friend's comment that if she were less stressed and depressed, she would be "more feminine", and then she gave examples of wearing high heeled shoes and having her hair and makeup "on point". I didn't say anything to her, but that's not how I define feminine. Further, I thought on to myself, obsession with appealing to men might be considered a negative trait. And then I wondered if the obsession with validation through sex appeal could be turned around into a genuinely uplifting positive thing. 

So here we are. 

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I remember we had this discussion in high school.

Neediness is a character flaw that in my opinion, has positive aspects to it. Neediness is related to being an emotionally attached person. Negatively, a person with the character flaw of neediness feels suffocated, lacks dependence and doesn’t have much personal space in terms of finding their true identity. However, they could use that and channel it to a positive level by being more open, paying attention to even detail, and showing empathy and desire for another. 

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A person who tends to be lazy, once they develop self-discipline needed to take action, is likely to be very efficient. The inherent laziness will incline them to reduce the number of steps or amount of work necessary to achieve their purpose. 

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A person with a habit of excessive worry and overthinking would be great at finding the flaws in plans, so that they could be perfected, if only they could channel the worry into that work instead of wasting it on frivolities. 

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I turned a negative situation into a positive one yesterday after losing my temper at someone. Afterwards I spent a few hours alone being angry and upset. So I decided to apologise and give them what they wanted which was to clear my debt more than what I had originally owed them, even though they were happy to negotiate a lower amount I decided to pay it all off regardless, I just wanted to apologise and move on. I had a change of heart after pondering over how I will be questioned in barzak. I don't want to upset people or owe any debts, it's not worth it. I felt 100% happy afterwards, as if the cloud suddenly lifted off my conscious mind as if Allah subhana wa tala forgave me. It's about compassionate and empathy.

Edited by Murtaza1

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On 3/25/2019 at 10:36 AM, notme said:

What started my thinking about character traits was a non-Muslim friend's comment that if she were less stressed and depressed, she would be "more feminine", and then she gave examples of wearing high heeled shoes and having her hair and makeup "on point". I didn't say anything to her, but that's not how I define feminine. Further, I thought on to myself, obsession with appealing to men might be considered a negative trait. And then I wondered if the obsession with validation through sex appeal could be turned around into a genuinely uplifting positive thing. 

So here we are. 

The problem is a problem inasmuch as you have labelled it as “an obsession”.  Any obsession is negative.  Making herself appealling to  men is not wrong in itself, but being obsessed about it is wrong.  

Being obsessed about ANYTHING other than God (for that matter) is wrong.  

How do you convert this obsession into something positive?  The answer remains the same for any non-Godly obsession  one may have:  Be obsessed about God instead!  

 

 

Edited by eThErEaL

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I’m quite envious when I see people who are less competent reaching success. But now, I’ve realized that my worth is not in whether I achieve success right now. My time will come. All is needed is patience and perseverance. 

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