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Guest super man

Should extroverts marry introverts?

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Guest super man

Should like marry like? Will there be problems if a very quiet and reclusive person marries a loud talkative person? 

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I think it's just one factor to consider among many.

There are many extroverts who I admire, but to be honest, they all eventually exhaust me.  

On the other hand, an extrovert will keep an introvert open to new experiences and an introvert will keep an extrovert grounded, so as long as both respect the needs of the other, both can benefit from the relationship.

I wouldn't recommend ruling out a potential spouse because their level of sociability is very different from your own, but for a marriage to be successful, both partners must value and respect the other.

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I'm in this kind of marriage and although there are some challenges (like with any marriage) it can work. Just takes a bit of extra work to understand one another's needs when it comes to socializing. I find myself in a lot of undesirable social situations but I appreciate the opportunity to grow as a person. 

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9 minutes ago, Shia farm girl said:

Personally, its exhausting and stressfull. I already have too many demands outside of my marriage that drain me of my life force and soul, and the LAST thing I want to do is to go to 10 places on the few days I am not overwhelmed with my other responsinilities, but I relent...and I go...and at times I end up in a "negative grouchy" mood simply cuz I don’t like being out and around in society in general, basically cuz I can’t stand being bombarded by the immorality everywhere, the constant blasting of music in practically every store we go to, and EVEN AT THE GAS STATIONS NOW:( Im just not a people person, nor do I like the inevitable and unavoidable nuances that accompany being around tons of people..I mean, how COULD I? Im barely able to keep my head above water after dealing with my family for 3 days.

Interesting perspective. Although I'm an extroverted, I'm not very outgoing. And when talking to potentials, this is often a barrier -- they want to be on their feet all day, flying around the world every couple months, taking road trips. I simply don't care much for all of that. My extroversion is expressed by being warm, communicative, friendly, talking to family, seeing friends for coffee/dinner, talking on the phone, blogging, etc.

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I’m an extrovert, although many people mistaken me as being introverted. I’m married to an introvert. Eventually, my husband wants alone time, whenever we are together, and of course I don’t mind because I like having some alone time too. 

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On 3/18/2019 at 10:52 PM, Guest super man said:

Should like marry like? Will there be problems if a very quiet and reclusive person marries a loud talkative person? 

My understanding is that in a situation where two extreme introverts marry, it would be very easy for them to grow apart. On the other hand, many problems can arise if an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert marry each other. So, in my opinion, (all else being equal) it would be best for an extreme introvert to marry someone in the middle of the spectrum; and likewise with the extreme extrovert. 

Edited by SirajDin

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Guest Itsme

The term 'extrovert' and 'introvert' as so broad, and personality can vary wildly between introverts themselves  (and extroverts too), that it would be silly to give you a blanket yes or no answer. 

The answer is, it depends on the various other facts. 

Personally, my current opinion is that the labels are oversimplified and were themselves developed a hundred years ago and don't necessarily have any strong scientific backing to place people in one another group in the way we're doing here.

Read this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-gen-y-guide/201701/the-introvertextravert-myth

 

 

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38 minutes ago, starlight said:

share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time

Salam

But how do you share your life with someone and simultaneously not spend a lot of time with them? (Sorry if I sound rude)

I thought marriage was all about spending time with your partner.. I don't know I could be wrong

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18 minutes ago, Ejaz said:

Salam

But how do you share your life with someone and simultaneously not spend a lot of time with them? (Sorry if I sound rude)

Wasalam, 

Hahahha...maybe that's why I am single. I want to get married and at the same time I want to be alone.:hahaha:

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15 minutes ago, ireallywannaknow said:

This is why some women like to be in polygamous marriages, so that they only have deal with the husband part-time :D

Lol while this is funny, if you “have to deal” with unsatisfactory husband, then that’d be pretty miserable. Ideally a husband would enhance your life. 

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15 minutes ago, ireallywannaknow said:

This is why some women like to be in polygamous marriages, so that they only have deal with the husband part-time :D

Islam has a solution for every issue one might come across in life. :grin:

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37 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Lol while this is funny, if you “have to deal” with unsatisfactory husband, then that’d be pretty miserable. Ideally a husband would enhance your life. 

"Deal with" as in sometimes you have to deal with your children, deal with your family, or other people you otherwise love, because anyone can get a little annoying sometimes in excess. 

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Guest Itsme

Just as a further reflection, given it is not as simple as being an extrovert or introvert, and given there is debate about whether the terms are even fair to use or outdated (Hume in the early 20th century), please don't base decisions of marriage in any influential way on whether someone self-identifies (another source of error) as an introvert or extrovert. Maybe this explains the high divorce rate these days, everything is pretentious and based on inaccuracy without a nuanced approach taken.

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On 3/18/2019 at 11:16 AM, Qa'im said:

I’m not married, but I think I would prefer someone opposite to me. I’m extroverted, and I have a fairly dominant and stubborn personality, so having two people like that in the same house would cause a lot of friction and clashes. 

Yeah that's the definition of a bully 

Just a more mature one 

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43 minutes ago, Panzerwaffe said:

Yeah that's the definition of a bully 

I'm not sure how many bullies admit their flaws and work to rectify them, but I laughed when I saw that several people in this thread agreed with my self-critique. May Allah give us islaH.

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15 minutes ago, Qa'im said:

I'm not sure how many bullies admit their flaws and work to rectify them, but I laughed when I saw that several people in this thread agreed with my self-critique. May Allah give us islaH.

I don’t actually see the stubbornness in your posts in which you talk about. 

I think other people on this site are way more stubborn, to be honest.

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Well, I'm introverted n I prefer my husband not to be so loud or noisy ! I mean I prefer him to be kinda like me since I can't stand the guys who make stupid jokes n talk 24/7 

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I think introverts and extroverts can misunderstand each other. Extroverts need to realise that introverts "not talking" doesn't mean that they're bored or being rude, but rather that they need some space.

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I'm introverted and married quite an extroverted lady. It works surprisingly well, she says I balance her out, while she has given me a little more confidence. 

At first I was looking for an introvert, but really, imagine two seriously reclusive introverts in a marriage! For marriage to work one has to be cool and collected, one has to be energetic and enthusiastic, one has to be realist borderline pessimistic, one has to be slightly cloud coocoo and optimistic. It all means a happy equilibrium.

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