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In the Name of God بسم الله
SeekingHeaven

What should I do with myself?

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I feel like I've messed up too much, I don't know what to do with my self. I have committed this sin of masturbation and repented just to go back to it later on, I feel like I've went through this cycle so many times and just feel like my only escape is death. I feel like my mind has been beaten a thousand times. I've never been so low in my life. Everyone around me thinks im the most religious guy but between me and Allah there are no barriers to hide this sin and I don't care for there opinion of my religiosity. I just want to die since I feel like I have no soul anymore.

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Brother, listen to me:

The fact that you're making a thread on this, goes to show that you're not giving up. You do have hope! And I believe that you will turn things around and beat this addiction for good.

The problem here is your mindset. You are giving way to much importance to masturbation. You feel that if you can't get rid of masturbation, then you're nothing but a failure in life. You are revolving your life around this one sin, forgetting about the countless other sins you've probably avoided. If you're going to live life with this mindset, you're going to be fearful and paranoid. You're giving energy to your brain by thinking about it. You need to study how the brain works. When you focus on "how not to do that", "how to avoid that" the effect is always the opposite. These kinda statements just give you temporary relief, but don't mean a damn thing.

My advice for you - obsess over something else. You need to find halal alternatives. You don't need to be praying 24/7, reading the Qur'an, spending your whole day in the mosque. Just find a cool hobby or interest, and it's alright if it's considered waste of time (dw about being super super productive initially). For example, you could join discord and chat with like-minded people, or you could buy a super cool book and read it like a mad person. The thing is that eventually when you get sucked into something else, you'll realize that you don't need masturbation. You're eventually going to become bored of it. Trust, me not every single guy feels the need to watch disgusting things, eventually you come to a realization that there's so many things to do in life.

Drink lemonade right now (sprinkle chia seeds on top), take a deep breath and say to yourself - "I'm an amazing person".

Good Luck brother!

 

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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Salam...

Stay religious and has hope that solution will come.  Ask help from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) through Imams regardless what state you are now.  Solution will come and you will know exactly how to over come it.  Never tell about your problem directly ( people must not know who you really are) to anyone else, except to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Even saying to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that you know you deserve the lowest of hell, but at the same time you must express sincerely that will never loss hope for His forgiveness and solutions.  Sometimes asking Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) while you know that you are the lowest of hell is better.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) loves those who is always desparately  in need of Him.

.. 

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