Psychiatrist low-key fat shamed me—I want to lose weight

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

I’ve been trying to lose weight, and while I’ve lost inches and fit into smaller pants than I did a while ago, my weight hasn’t budged. So obviously I’m going somewhere wrong.

Now, I visit my psychiatrist every 2 months, and I get weighed every time and my vitals checked.

As of last year, I am up 20 pounds. So of course, my psychiatrist would have to monitor and bring up my weight if there are major fluctuations.

I’ve mostly been skinny up until I got married and I now have a BMI of 23. My psychiatrist has been telling me for the last two visits indirectly that I should be losing weight. Before I left, she said, “Hope you lose some weight the next time I see you.”

I’m not new to counting calories or measuring my food or myfitnesspal. I know how to lose weight, however, every time I cut back my intake by even 500, I feel the urge to binge and feel like I’m starving. I’ve tried explaining this and she said that my urge to binge was psychological rather than physical, which I do agree with. But I would like to lose 5 pounds by my next appointment (which would be in two months) just to get her off my case.

I’ve never been this weight before, so finding the appropriate calories has been a challenge for me. (For both maintaining and losing weight.) I want to lose the weight slowly. (Less than a pound a week.) What would be an appropriate deficit?

@Qa'im

Ralvi · January 19

I think it’s highly inappropriate since she’s you’re psychiatrist and not your fitness trainer

jeez don’t lose weight for people, weight is always changing. Personally for me fitness and weight go hand in hand, shouldn’t be about the BMI but how you feel. About getting healthier(and feeling it! No binge etc) and feeling stronger and mentally healthy like that

but this psychiatrist seems to think you probably want to lose weight(may be she has set description of you) and thinks this kind of tactic might help. Like she probably thinks oh she’s probably stressing about looking a certain way and she’s always been a certain weight and women tend to stress a lot about that, so to combat that I’ll give her cues like this..

I don’t know though about how effective that is

I will always recommend to whomever to gain muscle and lose fat. Meaning get stronger and healthier and not rely on diets. Exercising always helps to get the little bit of stubborn weight off

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

6 hours ago, Ralvi said:

ut this psychiatrist seems to think you probably want to lose weight(may be she has set description of you) and thinks this kind of tactic might help. Like she probably thinks oh she’s probably stressing about looking a certain way and she’s always been a certain weight and women tend to stress a lot about that, so to combat that I’ll give her cues like this..

I do have anxiety about my weight gain, (and want to lose some weight) and she did offer me pointers like the benefits of fasting and “fine-tuning” my calorie intake, because I mentioned the anxiety over how much I’ve gained. That, and my weight has always been stable. So I do understand why she said I should lose the weight.

Ralvi · January 19

17 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I do have anxiety about my weight gain, (and want to lose some weight) and she did offer me pointers like the benefits of fasting and “fine-tuning” my calorie intake, because I mentioned the anxiety over how much I’ve gained. That, and my weight has always been stable. So I do understand why she said I should lose the weight.

Yeah so she definitely has that under your profile with her and so she’s just trying to combat your anxiety preemptively

nothing wrong with Losing weight, and being anxious over it is something a lot of young women will inevitably experience

women are designed to retain fat and have low muscle. So thats what can really make it hard. That’s why for women a long term plan for fitness is best IMO. Especially since you won’t have a time constraint or short time to stress about. doing things that are healthy and exercising (just running in the morning is already great) not only will your weight reflect this, but your skin, complexion and anxiety will reflect it too.

I believe with anxiety having a constant measure (like proper diet and excercise) can really combat it. Because its always a work in progress. And not a rush with a finish line.

Plus being moderate in your diet is always nice too. You should treat yourself once in a while y’know?

I myself naturally practice intermediate fasting after seriously getting sick from not eating right and it’s just better for me. I had food sensitivities I didn’t even know and now I’m permanently scarred lol

Although nowadays I’m just fasting for Allah and Duas etc

Some thing work for others and some things don’t. You should really try it if you can.

But don’t beat yourself up about It.

Genetics plays a huge role too. My sisters and brothers were so chubby when young and during puberty. And now as they’ve grown older they’ve grown into their bodies and have lost weight. It’s just how it is in our family. Some people grow into their bodies at different stages of life. The anxiety They might have had as youngsters was probably not due to them but their genetics and growth stages. Unfortunately the body changes but the anxiety remains.

Just approach it with that in mind, and take things at a reasonable pace. Don’t worry about meeting standards. As long as you have a routine(which long term wise is the best for overall satisfaction). Because then even if you’re in a really bad and down mood you’ll probably stick to your routine and not fall off the wagon and go nuts and eat bad all the time haha. Lifestyle change is always better. If you’re already pretty fit then the changes will be minimal to lifestyle but you’ll see the changes to your body and mind!

Edited January 19 by Ralvi

**Haji 2003** · January 19

I think there are certain things that are incontrovertibly true:

A certain BMI is unhealthy. Perhaps it varies by ethnic groups and the people from Samoa can get away with a higher number. But there will be a range that most people should stay within.
As a health professional, I think the psycho is right to draw attention to this, not least because of its effect on mental health and their correct observation that eating behaviour can be psychologically driven rather than due to physical hunger.

The question then is how you can manage the situation. The following are based on my own experience, given my need to manage weight for cardiac reasons.

For home consumption just don't buy foods that are fatty/sugary. When you are out shopping on a full stomach the urge just won't be there. Buy stuff that it is unlikely you will binge on, no-one ever binged on carrots or lettuce, but if you are feeling peckish, they are a great snack. And if you do buy chocolate get the 90% cocoa variety, again hard to binge on, I think.
So no cakes, biscuits, soft drinks, fruit juices etc. in the house.
Have unshelled nuts. Again hard to binge on nuts when you have to go through the effort of opening them up. I think pine nuts were created for the express benefit of people who like to peck. Huge amount of effort needed to shell them for very few calories.
I quite like foods that have an intense taste to calorie ratio. Seaweed, kimchi and wasabi peas come into this category. They also help leaven the bland taste of healthy foods.
Satiety is an important concept, IMHO. I've previously mentioned how beansprouts for some reason do for me what carbs would otherwise. I've just discovered that mashed up butter beans have a very similar taste to mashed potatoes. Water-based soups are good.
You have to change your habits and routines. I have changed my travel plan so that for one journey there's an 8km walk built in. If you know you are going to have to exercise and you know that more weight makes this difficult, then you'll better appreciate the cost of eating cake.
Children are a great motivation. If you can't change lifestyle for your own benefit, you'll do it for the kids. I walk Maryam back from her school. So she gets a 4km walk and I get 8km in the process.
Prepare more meals yourself, I find the actual process of preparing meals takes away the hunger.
Obviously, don't go to all-you-can-eat buffets.
You will come across people who, for the reasons of social desirability, will diminish the importance of weight management, they'll come up with excuses for you to deviate from good habits etc. You need to tune out those messages.

Edited January 19 by Haji 2003

BowTie · January 19

With all the experts around the world and around you, whether around you, on social media, forums, etc...and you ask Shiachat :party:

**realizm** · January 19

5 hours ago, BowTie said:

With all the experts around the world and around you, whether around you, on social media, forums, etc...and you ask Shiachat

:salam:

Well at least we can make a dua for the sister to get relieved of her sufferings.

@Islandsandmirrors

May you feel well, mind body and soul wise by the grace of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)

Asghar Ali Karbalai · January 19

Don't think too much and don't try too hard.

When you have laid down all of your efforts and you see no result then say alhamdulilah and start offering Salah.

Sometimes you may want something which is no good for you while you may not know but Allah does.

**Marbles** · January 19

Salams @Islandsandmirrors

I don't want to appear as a Prophet of Ketosis on ShiaChat but a great thing about this diet is that with time it eliminates cravings and if you stick to the foods that are allowed, you feel full even when you are in a significant calorie deficit.

The only way to curb your cravings is to eliminate carbs from your diet. The maximum you should eat is 20g to 30g carbs a day plus those accidental carbs that come with leafy greens. Consume only good fats and moderate proteins as per your macros and you'll start losing weight in a healthy way. Use carb manager to figure out your macros.

Eat at a calorie deficit of a minimum 500. But keep in mind that counting calories alone is a meaningless exercise if you don't know the proportion of carbs, fats, and protein you are consuming. A 100 cal of carbs is NOT equal to a 100 cal of fat or protein. On keto diet your macros should be: Fats 75%, protein 20% and carbs 5% only. Look up the food list and keto recipes and prepare as many meals at home as possible.

Combine your dietary regime with intermittent fasting. You have only 8 hours window to eat. Fast for the rest of the 16 hours. Eg, eat your fist meal at 12 pm and your last at 8 pm. No snacking in between. Start with 3 meals but reduce it to 2 after a couple of weeks. You can have a black coffee in the morning and one later on but no more. Drink lots of water.

If you feel hungry at any time, I have found that a tbsp of psyllium husk, a tbsp of organic apple cider vinegar mixed in a glass of water keeps my engines working and suppresses cravings. The health benefits of both cannot be exaggerated.

After nearly five months of this diet I am at a point where my cravings have totally disappeared. Currently I'm fasting 20:4 (I,e; 2 meals a day during the 4 hour window and no eating for the rest of 20 hours). My first meal is 2 pm in the afternoon and 6pm is the last bowl of veggies. I never thought I'd say this, but when I sit down to eat my breakfast after 20 hours of fasting, I still DO NOT feel the hunger. Yes, there is a little twitch of hunger sometime but nothing that can't be tolerated. This is because I've eliminated the things that cause cravings: carbohydrates. ALL carbs except for fibrous carbs. I'm 38 lbs down and counting.

Good luck.

Edited January 19 by Marbles

**notme** · January 19

BMI of 23 is the problem, or the sudden increase?

I tend to gain a little weight when I'm happy and healthy, and drop a lot when I'm super stressed. Any sudden change is reason for concern. Have you changed your diet or activity level since getting married?

**Haji 2003** · January 19

1 hour ago, Marbles said:

Combine your dietary regime with intermittent fasting. You have only 8 hours window to eat. Fast for the rest of the 16 hours. Eg, eat your fist meal at 12 pm and your last at 8 pm.

Why not time it for the local fajr and maghrib times and get the thawab for mustahab fasts as well?

**Marbles** · January 19

12 minutes ago, Haji 2003 said:

Why not time it for the local fajr and maghrib times and get the thawab for mustahab fasts as well?

'Water, mum,' I said when she suggested the same.

If the purpose is to lose weight, it is important to drink plenty of water during the fast times to flush out the burned fat. Keeping water intake within the eating window may be difficult and cause bloating and too many visits to the washroom, which would be further trouble if one's eating window ends late into the night or early morning.

SeekingHeaven · January 19

9 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I know how to lose weight, however, every time I cut back my intake by even 500, I feel the urge to binge and feel like I’m starving.

I do intermittent fasting and what I drink a cup of black coffee which suppresses my appetite and cravings m, so I highly suggest you try that but make sure its black!!!

**notme** · January 19

Cravings are your body's way of telling you it needs something. Unfortunately, it isn't very discriminating with the message. While you might need some carbohydrate, you probably don't need a pack of Oreos or a donut. Just don't keep any junk food in your house and you'll be forced to pick healthier options. (As a bonus, your husband will eat healthier too!)

If you're eating healthy and moderately and still gaining weight, try increasing your exercise. Maybe your metabolism is slowing - it will happen as you get older.

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

3 hours ago, Marbles said:

Salams @Islandsandmirrors

I don't want to appear as a Prophet of Ketosis on ShiaChat but a great thing about this diet is that with time it eliminates cravings and if you stick to the foods that are allowed, you feel full even when you are in a significant calorie deficit.

The only way to curb your cravings is to eliminate carbs from your diet. The maximum you should eat is 20g to 30g carbs a day plus those accidental carbs that come with leafy greens. Consume only good fats and moderate proteins as per your macros and you'll start losing weight in a healthy way. Use carb manager to figure out your macros.

Eat at a calorie deficit of a minimum 500. But keep in mind that counting calories alone is a meaningless exercise if you don't know the proportion of carbs, fats, and protein you are consuming. A 100 cal of carbs is NOT equal to a 100 cal of fat or protein. On keto diet your macros should be: Fats 75%, protein 20% and carbs 5% only. Look up the food list and keto recipes and prepare as many meals at home as possible.

Combine your dietary regime with intermittent fasting. You have only 8 hours window to eat. Fast for the rest of the 16 hours. Eg, eat your fist meal at 12 pm and your last at 8 pm. No snacking in between. Start with 3 meals but reduce it to 2 after a couple of weeks. You can have a black coffee in the morning and one later on but no more. Drink lots of water.

If you feel hungry at any time, I have found that a tbsp of psyllium husk, a tbsp of organic apple cider vinegar mixed in a glass of water keeps my engines working and suppresses cravings. The health benefits of both cannot be exaggerated.

After nearly five months of this diet I am at a point where my cravings have totally disappeared. Currently I'm fasting 20:4 (I,e; 2 meals a day during the 4 hour window and no eating for the rest of 20 hours). My first meal is 2 pm in the afternoon and 6pm is the last bowl of veggies. I never thought I'd say this, but when I sit down to eat my breakfast after 20 hours of fasting, I still DO NOT feel the hunger. Yes, there is a little twitch of hunger sometime but nothing that can't be tolerated. This is because I've eliminated the things that cause cravings: carbohydrates. ALL carbs except for fibrous carbs. I'm 38 lbs down and counting.

Good luck.

Salam @Marbles. Thank you so much for your in depth response. I greatly appreciate it. I have heard lots of great things about Keto and I have a friend who has dropped 20 pounds since starting three or so months ago.

I’ve seen some keto recipes that use a copious amount of veggies in place of carbs, and I was wondering if it helps with energy levels? When I try to go into a deficit, I feel drained. And feeling drained propels a binge for me.

My psychiatrist also recommended IF and said she’s been doing so on and off for 40 years. I’d like to give it a try sometime, but I’m worried about metabolic adaptation since I’ve heard fasting may lower your tdee levels with time (by delaying breakfast.)

I’m so glad to hear Keto has worked for you. 38 pounds is an impressive loss. I’m really hoping both Keto and IF help with my energy levels. If my energy stays the same while on a deficit, it should be easier for me to lose the weight. Thanks again for your response.

**Hameedeh** · January 19

10 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I’ve mostly been skinny up until I got married and I now have a BMI of 23. My psychiatrist has been telling me for the last two visits indirectly that I should be losing weight. Before I left, she said, “Hope you lose some weight the next time I see you.”

Perhaps she said that to you because she knows how important your weight is to you.

This won't be a popular reponse, but a newlywed, female or male, should be eating a healthy diet (not restricting heart healthy foods), because there is a possibility of pregnancy and you both want your child to be as healthy as can be. :cuddle:

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

9 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

I think there are certain things that are incontrovertibly true:

A certain BMI is unhealthy. Perhaps it varies by ethnic groups and the people from Samoa can get away with a higher number. But there will be a range that most people should stay within.

As a health professional, I think the psycho is right to draw attention to this, not least because of its effect on mental health and their correct observation that eating behaviour can be psychologically driven rather than due to physical hunger.

The question then is how you can manage the situation. The following are based on my own experience, given my need to manage weight for cardiac reasons.

For home consumption just don't buy foods that are fatty/sugary. When you are out shopping on a full stomach the urge just won't be there. Buy stuff that it is unlikely you will binge on, no-one ever binged on carrots or lettuce, but if you are feeling peckish, they are a great snack. And if you do buy chocolate get the 90% cocoa variety, again hard to binge on, I think.

So no cakes, biscuits, soft drinks, fruit juices etc. in the house.

Have unshelled nuts. Again hard to binge on nuts when you have to go through the effort of opening them up. I think pine nuts were created for the express benefit of people who like to peck. Huge amount of effort needed to shell them for very few calories.

I quite like foods that have an intense taste to calorie ratio. Seaweed, kimchi and wasabi peas come into this category. They also help leaven the bland taste of healthy foods.

Satiety is an important concept, IMHO. I've previously mentioned how beansprouts for some reason do for me what carbs would otherwise. I've just discovered that mashed up butter beans have a very similar taste to mashed potatoes. Water-based soups are good.

You have to change your habits and routines. I have changed my travel plan so that for one journey there's an 8km walk built in. If you know you are going to have to exercise and you know that more weight makes this difficult, then you'll better appreciate the cost of eating cake.

Children are a great motivation. If you can't change lifestyle for your own benefit, you'll do it for the kids. I walk Maryam back from her school. So she gets a 4km walk and I get 8km in the process.

Prepare more meals yourself, I find the actual process of preparing meals takes away the hunger.

Obviously, don't go to all-you-can-eat buffets.

You will come across people who, for the reasons of social desirability, will diminish the importance of weight management, they'll come up with excuses for you to deviate from good habits etc. You need to tune out those messages.

1. I do know that some ethnicities in general have smaller builds. Persians tend to be lithe, but there are people with larger frames such as myself. I went to a nutritionist back when I was sixteen and she my bone structure was larger than average for my ethnicity. I was at a BMI of 23-24 then, and said based on that, I shouldn’t weight less than a BMI of 21. I went a dietitian at eighteen who wanted me at a BMI of 22 and no smaller taking into account my frame size and muscle mass.

2. I think feeling the urge to binge is psychological, for the most part. What happened after I got married is I started to eat more because I was happy, and slowly put on 5 pounds. I freaked out, and cut back on my intake, but then started to binge after two weeks. So for months I was binging/restricting until I had no energy left for a deficit, and I decided to up my calories a bit by 500. (Making it to 2000 calories.) I increased my calories overnight and suddenly, within three weeks, I put on more than 10 pounds, and the weight gain slowed after that and now I haven’t been gaining much and stayed rather stable.

I agree with the rest of your pointers. Just thought I’d clarify a few things. Thanks for your response.

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

3 hours ago, notme said:

BMI of 23 is the problem, or the sudden increase?

I tend to gain a little weight when I'm happy and healthy, and drop a lot when I'm super stressed. Any sudden change is reason for concern. Have you changed your diet or activity level since getting married?

I think it’s the sudden increase.

I have upped my normal intake from 1600 to 2000 because I wanted a relief from the binge/restrict cycle (which made me gain the first 10 or so pounds.) and I haven’t binged in two months as a result, so I know I’m making progress.

My activity levels have pretty much the stayed the same. Some days, however, I’m more sedentary.

Edited January 19 by Islandsandmirrors

**Qa'im** · January 19

As for the comment, yeah it's a bit rude, but it's coming from a good place, as they are concerned about your mental and physical health. Sometimes that pressure is needed to make a positive change.

As others have said, your metabolism takes a big hit in your 20s. At 24 I went up 40 pounds without making any serious changes to my diet (170 to 210). So I quit all sugary drinks cold-turkey and lost about 15 pounds right there. I'm 28 now and I weigh 185. I'm finding it very difficult to dip beneath that, despite my low carbs / low sugar / calorie counting, so I'm still learning about my body and where my metabolism is currently at. Granted I'm not doing much physical activity (I've been sick), so that is the next step.

I think modern humans just consume way more food than they need to. It seems that our bodies can go up to 2 months without any food -- and about 3 weeks without suffering any permanent damage to your body. As Marbles said, intermittent fasting seems to really cut cravings and portion sizes. Tell yourself that every hour that you are hungry is time where your body is eating away your fat. I've told myself that I'm not going to stop dieting until I hit 170, even if it takes me the whole year, and I really want this more than anything right now, so the ends will justify the means.

Fast fii sabeelillah at least the 3 recommended days every month, as well as any other recommended fast days. Eat slowly, sit down for every meal, and stop eating before you are full. Look at the food the same way you look at medicine. Cut sugary and fried foods cold-turkey until you hit your goal -- consider them poison.

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

13 minutes ago, Hameedeh said:

Perhaps she said that to you because she knows how important your weight is to you.

This won't be a popular reponse, but a newlywed, female or male, should be eating a healthy diet (not restricting heart healthy foods), because there is a possibility of pregnancy and you both want your child to be as healthy as can be.

I think that might be the case, because I did mention a bit of anxiety over my weight gain and she started to give me pointers then, but also she said, “I know when you get married, you’re happier and you eat more but” (basically telling me to watch it.)

:cuddle: thanks Hameedeh. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.

Islandsandmirrors · January 19

@Everyone

What do you all think about heading to a nutritionist? I think a break from calorie counting might be good for me. Would they be covered by insurance?

**Maryaam** · January 19

1 hour ago, notme said:

Cravings are your body's way of telling you it needs something. Unfortunately, it isn't very discriminating with the message. While you might need some carbohydrate, you probably don't need a pack of Oreos or a donut. Just don't keep any junk food in your house and you'll be forced to pick healthier options. (As a bonus, your husband will eat healthier too!)

If you're eating healthy and moderately and still gaining weight, try increasing your exercise. Maybe your metabolism is slowing - it will happen as you get older.

+1000

How to be a healthy weight:

Move
Move
Move
No foods in the house that have a ton of artificial anything in them - no pre-prepared food, at all. These “foods" cause inflammation (even though you can’t see it) from the inorganic ingredients they contain to your body (an organic system) that impacts healthy metabolic function - as the body is using its energy to fight these toxins.
Everything in moderation - keeping an eye on the quality of of the carbs, fats and proteins… that is simple enough to do as a healthy diet is a very simple diet.
Eat what you need to in the day to be healthy and maintain energy. if you have room after that you can have healthy treats - even treats like cake, etc as it is made at home with fresh (and organic if you are able) butter, eggs, wheat flour.
Don’t think so much about food. Think about your next activity and get a hobby that calls for some movement.

I work with a woman who has all the time in the world to look up diets online but does not have time to go for a 20 minute walk with me. I told her she could even tell me about her diet ideas while we were walking —nope, that didn’t work either.

It is a mindset.

Think of yourself as fit and healthy. When you walk down the street no matter what your weight or fitness - envision yourself as the fit and healthy person you want to be. With each step. Really envision it. If you see yourself as fit and healthy - you will make choices that a fit and healthy person will make.

It is not so much about denying treats, but seeking out healthy… where healthy choices are normal choices. It will be normal to move and normal to not even think about toxic foods. Once you get that stuff out of your diet you feel so good you would not want to eat it again.

Diet is no more than 40% --- and movement is no less than 60% of a healthy you. You need to move. There are many things that you can incorporate into your day that become habits that increase your health. Park far away from the store and walk. No excuses. Just do it and it becomes a natural thing to do.

Don’t take an elevator up one flight. Just make it a life rule. No excuses! It will become an engrained habit.

Always take the more physically challenging route in anything. Stop saying you don’t have time - the usual excuse.

Go for a 10 minute walk versus wasting time on the computer. I like the pedometers as they confirm what you know you are doing… and give instant feed back on your movement choice to transfer your body from one situation to another. Very motivating.

I take the bus to work - it is about an hour each way and I never get a seat. I have to rebalance every time the driver (and they seem to hire people who have anger issues … probably due to lack of personal movement and unhealthy diet….) who continually and aggressively lurch the bus as they start and stop. However, all is good. I have decided there is nothing better to develop a really strong core. And it is a free!

I would really recommend staying away from anything that is not sustainable - such as weird extreme diets. They do not lead to a healthy psychology about every day health - and that is the key. Keep it simple. Eat a balance of food in moderation, drink lots of water and focus your mind on your next activity. This will keep you healthy mentally and physically.

………

Dear sister Islandsandmirrors

The very last thing a mental health professional should be doing is shaming a person about anything. I would address that with her. Ask her what outcome she expects from this in terms of your mental health. Maybe ask her if she has any evidence to support that shaming and blaming produce positive results. I have studied in this area for a long time - and I do not know of any.

Edited January 19 by Maryaam

**Maryaam** · January 19

4 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

@Everyone

What do you all think about heading to a nutritionist? I think a break from calorie counting might be good for me. Would they be covered by insurance?

I think any professional that is trained in this area would be helpful.. There are also psychologists that specialize in this area as well and I would lean to that area of expertise as they would be able to incorporate your other health issues into a comprehensive plan.

**Marbles** · January 19

1 hour ago, notme said:

Cravings are your body's way of telling you it needs something.

I'd like to make a point about the difference between genuine hunger and cravings. They are sometimes related but not synonymous. Its sugars/carbohydrates that cause cravings. In fact, when you consume more sugars/carbs your cravings go up, and your tolerance to go without food for longer period of time goes down. It sounds counter intuitive, but your cravings die down when you eliminate carbs from your diet. But you need good alternate energy source for that to make up for the shortfall (this is where good fats come in). As I said earlier, I am sugar/carbs-free for about 5 months and I do not crave at all. What I feel is genuine hunger when I fast too long.

Edited January 19 by Marbles
typos

**Marbles** · January 19

42 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I’ve seen some keto recipes that use a copious amount of veggies in place of carbs, and I was wondering if it helps with energy levels? When I try to go into a deficit, I feel drained. And feeling drained propels a binge for me

Veggies (raw, steamed, sauteed etc) give you necessary vitamins and nutrients especially potassium and fibre. This will help to keep your energy levels. But I can't overemphasize the importance of eating good fats to sustain energy levels. In ketosis, fat is used as a lever. You don't need to consume all your fat macros, but just enough to kill your hunger and make you feel full. Fats go a long way to sate hunger and provide alternative source of energy to burn, so you can't technically store it if you're eating on a deficit. Also remember that it's not a typically low-cal diet; it's a low-carb diet. I have never felt more active and energised as I do on keto despite eating less than one-third of what I used to eat during my care-free days.

It'd be difficult in the beginning (3 to 5 days max) when your body is still making a switch from carbs to fats. I recommend good multivitamins and supplements to shore up your electrolytes (potassium, magnesium, sodium) because during the early days you lose electrolytes along with water weight. It would be a few days before you start retaining them and at that point you won't need the supplements.

Don't listen to those people who subscribe to the old and obsolete view that ALL fats are bad for you. This is a bogus theory.

**Marbles** · January 19

1 hour ago, Qa'im said:

I've told myself that I'm not going to stop dieting until I hit 170, even if it takes me the whole year, and I really want this more than anything right now, so the ends will justify the means.

@Islandsandmirrors

Murtaza1 · January 19

12 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I’ve been trying to lose weight, and while I’ve lost inches and fit into smaller pants than I did a while ago, my weight hasn’t budged. So obviously I’m going somewhere wrong.

Now, I visit my psychiatrist every 2 months, and I get weighed every time and my vitals checked.

As of last year, I am up 20 pounds. So of course, my psychiatrist would have to monitor and bring up my weight if there are major fluctuations.

I’ve mostly been skinny up until I got married and I now have a BMI of 23. My psychiatrist has been telling me for the last two visits indirectly that I should be losing weight. Before I left, she said, “Hope you lose some weight the next time I see you.”

I’m not new to counting calories or measuring my food or myfitnesspal. I know how to lose weight, however, every time I cut back my intake by even 500, I feel the urge to binge and feel like I’m starving. I’ve tried explaining this and she said that my urge to binge was psychological rather than physical, which I do agree with. But I would like to lose 5 pounds by my next appointment (which would be in two months) just to get her off my case.

I’ve never been this weight before, so finding the appropriate calories has been a challenge for me. (For both maintaining and losing weight.) I want to lose the weight slowly. (Less than a pound a week.) What would be an appropriate deficit?

@Qa'im

I think you can treat yourself to a little bit of a binge eating as a treat but not too much, so measure and plan your favourite treat in advance. Whenever you get closer to achieving a goal, depending on your results each time, you should treat yourself. This would act as your mental energy booster, make you feel good and push you more towards achieving your goal inshallah

Edited January 19 by Murtaza1

**Marbles** · January 19

18 minutes ago, Murtaza1 said:

I tjink you shoukd have a bit of binge eating as treat. Whenever you get closer to achieving a goal, depending on ykur results each time, you shoukd treat yourself. Tbmhis would act as your mental energy booster, make you feel good and pusj you morw towards achieving your goal inshallah

I would advise against that. If your diet-exercise regime is working and your are getting closer to your goal, then you want to keep doing that until you get to where you want to be. The whole idea about cheat meals and cheat days is a sorry way of breaking your momentum, delaying your progress, and throwing you off the rails.

Personal experience. You never feel good after binge eating or cheat meals, and cheat meals easily become cheat days and cheat weeks and cheat months until you're back at square one.

Edit: On my birthday this year I went out with family. I asked my mum to bake a carb-free almond cheesecake for me. At the restaurant I ordered a beef steak with sugar-free sauce and sauteed veggies. We had a great time and I kept up with my diet program. I could have easily gorged on the delicious riot of carbs and sugars on the table but...no excuses for cheating.

Edited January 19 by Marbles

Murtaza1 · January 19

10 minutes ago, Marbles said:

I would advise against that. If your diet-exercise regime is working and your are getting closer to your goal, then you want to keep doing that until you get to where you want to be. The whole idea about cheat meals and cheat days is a sorry way of breaking your momentum, delaying your progress, and throwing your off the rails.

Personal experience. You never feel good after binge eating or cheat meals, and cheat meals easily become cheat days and cheat weeks and cheat months until you're back at square one.

Edit: On my birthday this year I went out with family. I asked my mum to bake a carb-free almond cheesecake for me. At the restaurant I ordered a beef steak with sugar-free sauce and sauteed veggies. We had a great time and I kept up with my diet program. I could have easily gorged on the delicious riot of carbs and sugars on the table but...no excuses for cheating.

Well if you can find ways to understand and find healthy foods then thats great but not everybody is in that position. Selecting, mixing and matching food is like an art form but gets confusing with so much information out there but we all have to eat to stay alive

Edited January 19 by Murtaza1

Mohammed-Mehdi · January 24

"Imam Ali (عليه السلام) gave the best advice in this regard, if not mistaken. I don't remember the hadith but can try to find it later or someone else post it.

Just do this: Only eat when you are hungry and stop eating while you are still hungry.

You have to make sure that you are actually hungry and not craving or whatever. Furthermore, you really have to stop eating early to make sure to stick with this "rule".

Humans actually really don't need a lot of food..
Anyway, do this and make sure it is healthy foods and proper water intake and enough movement.

For example dates and yogurt are great foods.

Warilla · February 1

Lift heavy weights. It's great way to build muscle and burn fat. You may gain weight as muscle is dense but you will see the health and mental benefits.

If you have never lifted weight get a trainer as it can be dangerous.

Murtaza1 · February 2

6 hours ago, Warilla said:

Lift heavy weights. It's great way to build muscle and burn fat. You may gain weight as muscle is dense but you will see the health and mental benefits.

If you have never lifted weight get a trainer as it can be dangerous.

Yes very true. Lifting too much weight or using the wrong posture can negatively effect muscles, bones or even the circulatory system

**Gaius I. Caesar** · February 2

On 1/19/2019 at 1:10 PM, Murtaza1 said:

I think you can treat yourself to a little bit of a binge eating as a treat but not too much, so measure and plan your favourite treat in advance. Whenever you get closer to achieving a goal, depending on your results each time, you should treat yourself. This would act as your mental energy booster, make you feel good and push you more towards achieving your goal inshallah

With all due respect, binge-eating is extremely dangerous. Have a having a snack or eating more/ bigger proportions is not the same as binge-eating because the former is a lack of control and a eating disorder that leads to low self-esteem, depression, fertility issues in women and obesity. You couldn't use it as a mental energy booster, it will backfire and just ruin your health. Don't give out advice on binge-eating if you don't know what it is.

Edited February 2 by Gaius I. Caesar

**Marbles** · February 2

13 hours ago, Warilla said:

Lift heavy weights. It's great way to build muscle and burn fat. You may gain weight as muscle is dense but you will see the health and mental benefits.

No. If the purpose is to lose fat then you want to do a combination of high intensity cardio and light weight training. That way you'd lose fat and gain moderate muscle. Lifting heavy weights with all that fat on would only lead to dense muscle mass but you'd still have all the work ahead of you to get rid of the fat through intense cardio.

Edited February 2 by Marbles

Warilla · February 2

6 minutes ago, Marbles said:

No. If the purpose is to lose fat then you want to do a combination of high intensity cardio and light weight training. That way you'd lose fat and gain moderate muscle. Lifting heavy weights with all that fat on would only lead to dense muscle mass but you'd still have all the work ahead of you to get rid of the fat through intense cardio.

Doing intense cardio takes a lot of time and discipline. But doing short sessions of heavy weights builds muscle. That muscle you build requires more energy on a daily basis. As long as you don't increase calorie intake you will loose fat over time. The original poster is seeing a psychiatrist and is overweight I'm assuming motivation is a problem. But yeah studies show a combination of light weights and cardio is best for burning fat.

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Psychiatrist low-key fat shamed me—I want to lose weight

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