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In the Name of God بسم الله
SeekingHeaven

Giving brother "the talk"

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Salam, since my parents are currently not living with me and my siblings and I have a younger brother 13 years of age and I want to give him "the talk" as they say, about maturing and desires that might be developing in him. But I can't seem to put the words together and I feel like it would be awkward and I would rather just avoid it but him living here in America and going to school I feel like I would be harming him if I don't. Plus there was an incident months back at home were my sister caught him playing with "it" but she realized he is just experiencing the teenage experiences. So I guess what I want is just someone that can guide me through this so I can protect him from sin. 

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Here’s how you start the conversation.

You take him out in the car, watch him as he sees someone he is not supposed to, then start analyzing the ‘look’, it’s effects, the desires behind it, the legitmacy (yeah, you read it right) of these desires and that there is nothing wrong with the desires, then the importance of controlling one’s nufs, desires, and eyes... and then continue to conversation on people with high character control it and preserve it for their spouse, and people of weak core give in to temptation, then on why it is important to control as opposed to give in, then onto masturbation and it’s bad effects, then on why is it made haram.... and then definitely give him hope to focus on studies, career, and his moral strength backed by strong religious conviction. Which will eventually get him a Momina wife and many more rewards in this dunya.. and eventually into hereafter. 

But keep the whole conversation as a two men talking and not a lecture.. let him bring it out and paraphrase your thoughts into his own words so he could convince himself of the goods and bads.. be his friend and mentor and not someone who ridicules..

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@Abu Hadi

Assalam Alikum Hajj,

Please advise.

Brother @SeekingHeaven

You need to tell your sister, to say ya Allah or knock on the door before going in without permission.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

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