Jump to content

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Salaam

Well my dad just got married and it's been a month, the woman my dad married has been acting weird when my dad's not around and something happened with led me into an argument with my dad. I talked to him today about the thing that happened and tried to explain but he just didn't listen and and asked me to be nice to the woman, it's just that I'm not satisfied and I want to clear things out... I just have this feeling that woman's just weird I don't know even though everyone tells me I'm over thinking... Now I don't know if I should just leave the matter or talk about it with my dad until and unless he listens but that would probably start another argument.. I don't know......... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you should take a break from it all. Get away from your surroundings and don’t think about them for a while. Take as long as it takes. Inshallah things will become better. Maybe everybody just needs some time to adjust. 

Edited by Murtaza1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Murtaza1 said:

I think m you should take a break from it all. Get away from your surroundings and don’t think about them for a while. Take as long as it takes. Inshallah things will become better. Maybe everybody just needs some time to adjust. 

Yeah I guess a break is what I need right now!  Thank you! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is dangerous territory for you. and beware that its not just dangerous territory for you but also your dad. Never is a man conflicted than when he is torn between two women either between his wife and his mother or between his new wife and daughter who is step-daughter to the new wife.  That has led men to emotional wounds they never recover from. You need to just be relaxed, just basically chill for now and really get to know this woman. You also not being clear on how is she being "weird". Does she "do things"? Does she oppress in a way? Are you afraid that she will put poison in your tea or something? You might also be feeling that your daddy wont love you anymore which is not true. A daddy's love for his babygirl never ends. He will still be chasing after you when you are 35. Your dad also deserves to be able to experience that kinda love that only a wife can provide as well as being able to love a woman who is not his daughter. Maybe you are feeling a little insecure which is normal. Your dad is not stupid, he would never bring in a snake in human form in the house to bite his daughter. Otherwise maybe go talk to a therapist about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Gabenowa said:

This is dangerous territory for you. and beware that its not just dangerous territory for you but also your dad. Never is a man conflicted than when he is torn between two women either between his wife and his mother or between his new wife and daughter who is step-daughter to the new wife.  That has led men to emotional wounds they never recover from. You need to just be relaxed, just basically chill for now and really get to know this woman. You also not being clear on how is she being "weird". Does she "do things"? Does she oppress in a way? Are you afraid that she will put poison in your tea or something? You might also be feeling that your daddy wont love you anymore which is not true. A daddy's love for his babygirl never ends. He will still be chasing after you when you are 35. Your dad also deserves to be able to experience that kinda love that only a wife can provide as well as being able to love a woman who is not his daughter. Maybe you are feeling a little insecure which is normal. Your dad is not stupid, he would never bring in a snake in human form in the house to bite his daughter. Otherwise maybe go talk to a therapist about it.

I really needed this,  thank you!  Yes I should take a break and stay away I guess.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam. Weird how sister? Is she verbally abusive or introverted? As human beings we are very complex in the sense that we are generally regimented people. We're not very very comfortable with change and yet as strange as it is we are a lot more socially adept than we think. If I could encourage you to do nothing more then to look for the qualities that your father sees in this woman because they could also be reflective of the qualities that you may love. The Holy Qur'an gives us a specific discourse to love and accept the children of the people that we marry and to take that child as our own. First thing I would advise you to do is to pray that it is within Allah's will for her to have an understanding of this. I would also encourage you to look at it with a certain level of optimism and give her a chance. Quite obviously she is not in fact your mother but love, humility and compassion are inherent  qualities in all. Sometimes we do things because we don't know what else to do. Getting to know people can be very difficult under any circumstances even more so in a domestic one. It takes a while for people to get to know each other once in awhile. Try not to set any expectations and see where it goes. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×