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Guest maryam

hijab crisis

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Guest maryam

i'm very sorry if this has been asked before but i really need help. 

i started wearing hijab when i was 8 bc my mom told me the old lollipop analogy and i was too young to reason w it. did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it??? or she would say im not a man so I don't know how men think? but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault. i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

ps my mom says i follow sistani bc i wore hijab at 8 and bc her and my dad follow him so i inherently follow him apparently but i never rly made a conscience decision to follow him nor did i know who he was when i started wearing the hijab so I don't know. i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

please don't comment things like sister go repent bc all i want is guidance.

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2 hours ago, Laayla said:

Two huge institutions of our faith are being questioned.  Hijab and taqleed, I'm going to wait patiently to see who are the defenders of the religion.

La Howla wa la quwata 2ila bil Allah

I disagree with you. Not everyones minds work the same way "Oh its obligatory I'll do it." Besides she didn't take off her hijab. And you as a woman, you're not helping. Unless, you don't know how to comfort someone, you're making it worse.

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2 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum 

@Haji 2003

Here we go again.

Where does one begin?

I'm going to observe for now and see how this will end up.

Two huge institutions of our faith are being questioned.  Hijab and taqleed, I'm going to wait patiently to see who are the defenders of the religion.

La Howla wa la quwata 2ila bil Allah

M3 Salamah, Fe Amin Allah 

Please think twice before posting in this manner. If this is how we respond how will anyone ever get their doubts answered? How will anyone’s problems be addressed? She hasn’t said she stopped doing either of those things. If our youth cannot question our institutions, how will they understanding any of them, and become able to better follow them? You can’t follow things blindly. 

4 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i'm very sorry if this has been asked before but i really need help. 

i started wearing hijab when i was 8 bc my mom told me the old lollipop analogy and i was too young to reason w it. did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it??? or she would say im not a man so I don't know how men think? but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault. i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

I am not educated enough myself on the topic of Taqleed so I will refrain from adding unnecessary comments to it. Other members have given better answers than I could. For hijab however, I can try and explain to you what makes sense to me about it. I have worn hijab since I was 10 and I have gone through troubling times with it. I’ve had children try to rip it off in grade school, people tell me I’m ugly for it, question if I’m a t-word and so much more. It was very worrisome when I was a child and it often hurt and I didn’t want to be different or noticed by anyone. I didn’t understand why I did it either. Thankfully I grew up to understand a lot more about my religion and what modesty really means. Sure, modesty is about concealing ourselves from the eyes of strange men, but I don’t believe hijab is all that. Hijab is so much more. Hijab is in our manner of speech, our gait, our garments, our thoughts, our entire being. Hijab is something intimate between God and a woman. It serves as a constant reminder of how we must behave. It reminds us that God is always near and always watching. It reminds us to be modest and kind and always do good to ourselves and those around us. Hijab isn’t all about men. Hijab is for us to better ourselves. I hope this helps. May Allah help you and give you strength to combat these doubts. 

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5 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

if your in the west men will still check you out even in hijab 

What makes you think, in Islamic countries, pious Muslims look down at the concrete when they see a girl wearing hijab?

1 hour ago, Guest maryam said:

i'm very sorry if this has been asked before but i really need help. 

i started wearing hijab when i was 8 bc my mom told me the old lollipop analogy and i was too young to reason w it. did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it??? or she would say im not a man so I don't know how men think? but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault. i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

Frankly, its a personal and women issue. I'm a guy, I can't say anything to convince you because I don't know what you're feeling. As a guy, all I can tell you is that its obligatory.

Unfortunately, in our Muslim nation (whether Shia or Sunni), rarely do we find prominent women speakers, lecturing about Hijab. Its always men, and men don't know how women feel. That makes a real problem for woman & hijab nowadays.

My advice, is to talk to a woman who struggled the same as you and overcame the problem. People who don't know your struggle, can't help you.

Quote

ps my mom says i follow sistani bc i wore hijab at 8 and bc her and my dad follow him so i inherently follow him apparently but i never rly made a conscience decision to follow him nor did i know who he was when i started wearing the hijab so I don't know. i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

please don't comment things like sister go repent bc all i want is guidance.

Taqlid isn't inherited. Its your duty to look up religious authorities, to know who you will follow and why.

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Firstly, ignore the insensitive haters sister. Don't take everyone's words to heart. Some people simply don't understand the struggle of a hijabi woman living in the west. But that also means we get more thawab for the greater jihad we go through day in day out of our lives. To those keyboard warriors, first think about the struggle of being a walking flag of Islam and being judged and even abused for it in a foreign country that alienates you. If you don't know what that's like and you have nothing useful to offer, don't comment.

As for the OP, it's normal to question things. You're not a robot. You want to know what you believe in, and you want to know why. Too often people shame for others for that, which is wrong. I understand where you're coming from about the taqleed thing. Marjas aren't infallible, and I know what I'm going to say will anger some, but some of their fatwas are just... they allow for abuse and things I know are completely unislamic. That's a whole other debate to go into. But those fatwas are about more particular topics, not a more generic and widely agreed concept. 

I don't know the exact reason for hijab Islamically. Young girls are told things about hiding their beauty, etc ,things similar to what you mentioned.  One way I like to think of it is, I wont let myself become objectified by men or by my society. I don't care what everyone else says, I'm going to wear the clothes I want and I'm still going to be powerful and independent. Having a more resilient  view might give you more determination and love for the hijab. There's no doubt about it being wajib. Marjas have, at the end of the day, dedicated their life to fiqh, and they all agree (as far as I know) that hijab is compulsory from  a certain age. So even if you studied Islam and became your own marja  you'd probably come up with the same ruling yourself. If you want to reconsider all taqleed because of the hijab fatwa, I don't recommend it. This is just Islam and it doesn't have much to do with the marjas.

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1 hour ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

if you don’t like hijab don’t wear it 

nobody can force it upon on you 

if your in the west men will still check you out even in hijab 

Are you for real sister? If you have nothing useful to say then don't comment.

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3 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

Salam,

Refer to the answer of the other sisters when it comes to hijab, because as a guy I don't understand the struggle.

But regarding the marja thing, yes some fatwas can be different. However if you study fiqh, majority of the fatwas which relate to fulfilling your obligatory acts are mostly the same. The section on taharah, salah, hajj etc. Will be similar in all fiqh books, because most the narrations on it are very strong and agreed by most maraja.

The reason why some fatwas can change is because of the evidence concerning a hukm. For example, in fiqh there is a general rule that you should not harm your body. There are strong narrations to support the general rule, however many different sub-issues concerning that rule can change depending on the evidence which may be different according to various marajas. Naser Makarem Shirazi has prohibited smoking now because he looked at the scientific evidence and was absolutely sure that it is harmful for the body. The hukm still didn't change, because there was a strong narration on it. This is just one example, there are many more.

I wouldn't go as far as saying that it's their own understanding of Islam. Our maraja study over thousands of traditions, and have to analyze its chain of narrators.  In addition, they have to place two hadiths side by side and ensure that it doesn't contradict each other, because our Imams (عليه السلام) have done taqqiyah at times. It requires scholars, just like you need PHD students to deal with advance research work. We should appreciate the work of our maraja, and not follow our own desires, because Allah will question us on the day of judgement. If your answer is "well I think it should be this way", then you wouldn't be excused. If you follow a fatwa and turned out the maraja got it all wrong, then you'll be excused. Sister, it's rational to do taqleed, even the Qur'an tells us to follow those who fear God and have knowledge.

Btw this Quranic verse may not relate to all this, it's my own reflection to be honest.

Surah Al-Anbiyaʼ  : Verse (21 : 7)

وَمَآ أَرْسَلْنَا قَبْلَكَ إِلَّا رِجَالًا نُّوحِىٓ إِلَيْهِمْ فَسْـَٔلُوٓا۟ أَهْلَ ٱلذِّكْرِ إِن كُنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

Sayyid Ali Quli Qarai : We did not send [any apostles] before you except as men to whom We revealed. Ask the People of the Reminder if you do not know.

@Laayla agree with me? Correct me if I said something wrong. 

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

 

Please Watch

As for you not being responsible for what men do, you are not responsible for it, but the fact is we live in a society of both men and women and the actions of one effect the actions of another. We are all in this together. If we want to suceed as an ummah, we have to give up the mentality of men vs women and that I am only going to do what is in my interest and to hell with the others. This is not what Rasoulallah(p.b.you.h) taught us. He(p.b.you.h) taught us to work together, men and women, to create a society that is better than the way we found it. We can only do this through cooperation. Men and women cooperating together to help each other fulfill their deen. If you don't wear hijab, all this is saying is 'I'm not part of the team', 'I don't care about my Muslim brothers, I'm only going to do what I feel is good for me'. If you wear it, you are saying 'I am part of the ummah, part of a team of men and women who are working together and helping each other to obey Allah(s.w.a)'. By wearing hijab, you are making it easier for your Muslim brothers to fulfill this. 

The original meaning of 'ummah' in Arabic was a word to describe a group of archers who are shooting at the same target. For the Muslim ummah, the target is the pleasure and satisfaction of Allah(s.w.a), which can only be gained through obedience to Allah(s.w.a). This is why the religion we follow is called Islam (submission to the will of Allah(s.w.a)). We cannot gain the satisfaction of Allah(s.w.a) by aiming our arrows at each other. 

BTW, that 'lollipop' thing only works for kids. Once you get older, you need a little bit more intellectual and substantial argument in favor of hijab, which is what I was trying to do above. Salam. 

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9 hours ago, Laayla said:

Two huge institutions of our faith are being questioned.  Hijab and taqleed,

We have questions about these all of the time. In fact, we have a sub-forum catering to atheists and AIUI it does not get much worse than the denial of the existence of God.

It was me who actually approved the OP in this thread, because I felt that the OP had raised concerns about the concepts themselves and that they had NOT presented them in the context of a story that could muddy the waters.

Threads such as this one provide a platform for the raising of concerns that may well affect people and they provide an opportunity for them to receive answers in-line with the faith.

FWIW there have been numerous threads on the usooli and akbari perspectives when it comes to taqleed.

BTW this sub-discussion is off-topic, we can discuss the differences between this and the other thread elsewhere.

Edited by Haji 2003

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1 hour ago, Guest Maryam said:

Salam i’m op. I’ve watched this video before. It doesn’t answer anything. It’s based on how women used to dress in pre-Islamic Arabia which again is out of context of the world we live in today. Saying that women used to already wear hijab but tie it around their necks contradicts other historian records that women used to walk around naked. And your argument basically says if you don’t have a piece of fabric wrapped around ur head then you’re not part of the umma? I believe that being a Muslim woman has so much more to it than that. I know hijab means other things like the way you talk but you are symplifying hijab to to a mere piece of fabric. And what do men do for the umma? Really. What do they do? They get to live normally without being labelled. They get to, to some extent, dress the way they like, swim and do any other sport they like, live their life to the fullest while still being able to pray and fast and they’d still be considered good Muslims. But if a women takes a piece of fabric off her head then she’s obviously being selfish and careless about the umma?

Those answers seem scripted. Here's a bot test, how do you feel when you wear the hijab ? when you don't wear it ? I am asking how you feel specifically, not a generalized answer. If you pass the bot test, I will respond further. 

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7 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Why are people disagreeing 

men will still look at in you in hijab I’ve had it happen so many times by both Muslim and non Muslim men 

and if the sister don’t want to wear hijab who are we to force her. 

Yeah obviously, do you expect people to walk blindfolded or something?

We can only come up with our own reasoning, it doesn't mean that this is the actual reason why Allah made hijab compulsory. Allah knows the best.

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Hijab is between you and Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Not between you and unknown men.

Thinking that you wear it only because men will look at you otherwise is a reactive way of thinking. How men look or don’t look at you is in fact irrelevant to you, your submission and obligation to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) which is wearing the hijab and your relationship to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) Himself.

You wear it because your Creator who loves you has honored you with the hijab, worn correctly it is a clothing of the highest dignity, not because how people will look at you. If you only wear it so men wont look at you, if they then still look at you, will you take it off because they look at you anyways? This is not a rational chain of thought and not a sincere niyyah.

We all stand responsible for our own actions in the end, I hope we never base our actions on how people will react to them, rather on how we will stand in front of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) on yammul qiyama. Dunya is not worth it when life here is so extremely short.

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10 hours ago, Guest Maryam said:

Salam sister 

thank you for taking the time to reply. 

I admire your paitience and your strong iman. It truly is beautiful. 

I guess my concern is, how do you know that it is something intimate between God and a woman? To me it is just a label, a tag, in the western world and in the Muslim world it’s just a reminder that men are superior to women and that your hair and your body is something you should be ashamed of, that if you do choose to not cover up then  men have the right to harass you because you’re not honourable and you’re a shame to your family. 

JazakAllah, that’s very kind of you.

In that way, we can argue that regardless if a woman is covered or not her body is policed and every society has its way of making men superior to women. As you know in Western society, women are supposedly liberated when they wear less and less clothing. However, the ideals of beauty constantly change there as well. A woman must be a certain size, complexion, and the right amount of sexy v. modest. She cannot be hairy which is completely natural. She mustn’t dare show her body if she’s “fat” or have cellulite or stretch marks because that’s disgusting. Don’t show your face without makeup because it isn’t pleasing enough to look at. Acne and skin issues are something we don’t want to see. Show just the right amount of skin but not too much. Don’t act too prudish or too sultry. Can you see how repressive all of this is as well? 

Through religious teachings I learned it has been prescribed by Allah. Over time I worked on strengthening my relationship with Allah and my hijab became a symbol of that relationship. Just as a sentimental item is close to one’s heart and reminds them of a certain moment in time or person, hijab reminds me of Allah. This is similar to how a cross may help people think of Jesus or give them courage in a time of adversity. 

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15 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

men will still look at in you in hijab I’ve had it happen so many times by both Muslim and non Muslim men 

Those are curious looks, not lustful looks, huge difference.

10 hours ago, Guest Maryam said:

I have looked for answers all over the internet, so please don’t make assumptions. As a young Muslim woman I would obviously look up to my mom for guidance, see her point of view and what she believes in, and as much as I tried to be convinced with her explanations I was not. I asked other family members and my other Shia friends who wear hijab but none of them really knew why they were wearing the hijab and what was the point of it. Therefore, I came here.

 Your reply basically says I have no idea why women wear hijab so i’m going to attack you, treat you like you’re immature and know nothing, and put all the blame on you for even asking a question and for trying to understand why you do something instead of following it blindly. 

 You’re implying it’s so easy to go do research and find the answer waiting for you to read it. Well it isn’t, like you said it’s “Impossible answers”. You tell me i’m asking a wrong question which you have no right to say. Did the rasool peace be upon him and his family ever make someone feel bad for asking a question? No. So what makes you think you can do that? 

 And when did I get emotional? All I ever stated is my thoughts that have been lingering in my head for years and as much as I want to shut them down and blindly believe I can’t. That’s not how the human brain works. 

As for the Hadith you mentioned, how is it related to this topic? Do you have a verse of the Qur'an that I missed that says women who don’t wear Hijab will burn in hell? How is this related to ignorance when ignorance is doing something blindly without knowing why or what you’re doing?

Sorry for offending you, but also thank you for proving my "assumptions" correct with your heartfelt reply. I'd like to emphasize I did not "blame" you for asking questions and seeking guidance, but I am certainly saying you are at fault for the dilemma you are currently in. And at no point did I say that you didn't research at all. I explained it needs improvement.

Again, I am not attacking you. I'm just saying what other people are afraid to say. Hopefully I can point out some of your internal conflicts, which only you can solve through self-reflection.

23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it

Here, you stated you always went back to your mother for affirmation, as opposed to coming to your own conclusion from what you have researched. Perhaps you're mother is a learned scholar or a qualified guide, if that's the case I do apologize then. If not, then you should have come to a clear answer from learned people who you are confident they know what they're talking about.

23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault.

Is this the fruits of your research? Or is this an expression of how you feel and your own opinion regarding the law of the veil? As far as I've researched, I've never came across proof or even an opinion from any scholar that God made women wear the hijab to make them accountable for how men think. I could be wrong though, if so feel free to enlighten me.

23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves.

So if you do not follow the guidance of the woman of the Prophet's family (a.s), whose guidance will you follow?

17 hours ago, dragonxx said:

Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) said (paraphrasing), 'when one of you decide to travel you find a guide and directions even if its a few miles, yet your ignorance of the paths of the heavens is much more than your ignorance of the paths of the Earth. You must find a guide for yourself'.

I hope you now understand the point of the above quote.

Also, we don't free slaves because, obviously, we don't own them. However, we still own and have a responsibility over our bodies.

23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time.

You are correct, let us take the context of their lives; they had the best of guides (the Prophet (pbuhf) then the Imams (a.s)) for practical questions and rules in the world of Islam. So, who do we go to for questions of practical nature? A marjaa? Our forefathers? Shiachat? (Again, please understand my point, I am not saying you seeking answers here is wrong, I myself have asked many questions here, just that the way you are going about it needs improvement).

23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i follow sistani bc i wore hijab at 8 and bc her and my dad follow him so i inherently follow him apparently but i never rly made a conscience decision to follow him nor did i know who he was when i started wearing the hijab so I don't know. i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

Why is it important to know who your marjaa is for the decision of hijab? You are clearly linking wearing the islamic veil to laws set by our marjaa, despite the islamic veil being a clear law since 1400 years ago. Then you go on to say in the same context many marjaas say diff things and have diff interpretations, implying that either you found reputable scholars who don't believe covering hair/neck/body is compulsory or that everyone is wrong and it's not compulsory at all. If you did find such marjaas, please do share them as I'd be interested to read their viewpoints.

Nobody really needs a marjaa for the major laws, like praying 5 times a day, going to hajj once a lifetime, fasting during ramathan, etc. Anyone who can read can come to this understanding based on Qur'an & Hadith. But we do need marjaas more for specific things that our society faces, like is plastic surgery allowed, is human cloning allowed, how exactly do you place your arms in sujood, when do you shorten your prayers during travel, is music allowed and if so what type, etc.

Evidently, you've got much more research to do, not just on hijab, but the essence of Islam. Yes, the word hijab isn't explicitly mentioned in the Qur'an, but what we call hijab is certainly described very clearly with no doubt. Truth is bitter.

I sincerely hope and pray for the best for you. Also, let us know if you become satisfied with some of the awesome answers provided by the members, or if you still feel lost by the end of this thread.

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12 hours ago, Guest Maryam said:

With that being said, maraja’s are probably right about most things, and if they’re not then they’re probably closer to the truth than we are, but all I want to know, in this particular subject about hijab, is how do they know it is obligatory and why.

Exactly, they don't claim to be infallible. We live in difficult times and the most rational thing to do is to follow them.

Sister, we can write many books on why hijab is compulsory,  and at the end of the day everyone's reasoning will be slightly different. Allah has made it obligatory and he knows the best why. For example why do you pray 3 rakah for maghrib? Why do you wipe your feet? Why do you wash your face only  twice? You can't always expect a reason.

I would suggest you to keep reading and seeing the perspective of other women who wear the hijab. The benefits are many imo.

As a guy, I subconsciously respect a women more when I see her wearing the hijab (not that I don't respect other women). Women who wear the hijab look way more decent and like dignified people. It doesn't matter whether guys stare at you or not, hijab is beautiful at the end of the day.

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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On 1/15/2019 at 5:54 PM, Sisterfatima1 said:

Come to Bankstown lakemba Liverpool auburn being a revert in hijab and Abaya see how many Arab men will stare at you and beg you to marry them 

Sister why does that even matter? If you're searching for creepy men then you'll defs find them in every corner of the world. Why narrow the purpose of hijab to this. Why do you think Allah tells us to lower our gaze? It's because hijab doesn't mean that our eyes automatically gaze at some random direction. We still as human beings have to be respectful. The hijab isn't there simply for men! It's valuable on its own.

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Hello sister

i understand your concern, you want an exact answer but that’s not really realistic

there are many reasons for hijab. One is that Allah requires it, therefore it’s a bridge for a woman and her creator. It’s a special symbol of Islam. Women in Hijab are symbols of Islam. The VEIL is the symbol for Islam. You do it to please Allah, and to be pleased with him. He takes care of you everyday, so hijab in that manner becomes a source of energy for you to keep striving in your religion. Which Allah recognizes dear sister 

Also another big reason is because of the events of Karbala. All the women were stripped of their hijab. That is a source of calamity and sadness for the holy ahulbayt. It’s said that if Imam Mehdi finds a Shi’a woman without her hijab, he cries. He cries out of grief for what happened in Karbala. All their dignity and honor snatched away, why wouldn’t a woman want to wear hijab then...it’s a source of sadness for our Imam.

another is for the betterment for society. I genuinely believe change in this world emanates from our women. And if our women are women of honor and faith then they are not showcasing their beauty to strangers. Hijab is what separates Muslims from the rest of the world

a woman needs to realize her power. She is the symbol of Islam 

may it be a source of ease and betterment for you. Be thankful your mother, she realized you were strong, and you were! Wearing hijab since 8! Mashallah. Let it be easy for you and not a source of doubt. It’s your safeguard sister, though you may not realize 

Edited by Ralvi

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1 hour ago, 2Timeless said:

Firstly, ignore the insensitive haters sister. Don't take everyone's words to heart. Some people simply don't understand the struggle of a hijabi woman living in the west. But that also means we get more thawab for the greater jihad we go through day in day out of our lives. To those keyboard warriors, first think about the struggle of being a walking flag of Islam and being judged and even abused for it in a foreign country that alienates you. If you don't know what that's like and you have nothing useful to offer, don't comment.

As for the OP, it's normal to question things. You're not a robot. You want to know what you believe in, and you want to know why. Too often people shame for others for that, which is wrong. I understand where you're coming from about the taqleed thing. Marjas aren't infallible, and I know what I'm going to say will anger some, but some of their fatwas are just... they allow for abuse and things I know are completely unislamic. That's a whole other debate to go into. But those fatwas are about more particular topics, not a more generic and widely agreed concept. 

I don't know the exact reason for hijab Islamically. Young girls are told things about hiding their beauty, etc ,things similar to what you mentioned.  One way I like to think of it is, I wont let myself become objectified by men or by my society. I don't care what everyone else says, I'm going to wear the clothes I want and I'm still going to be powerful and independent. Having a more resilient  view might give you more determination and love for the hijab. There's no doubt about it being wajib. Marjas have, at the end of the day, dedicated their life to fiqh, and they all agree (as far as I know) that hijab is compulsory from  a certain age. So even if you studied Islam and became your own marja  you'd probably come up with the same ruling yourself. If you want to reconsider all taqleed because of the hijab fatwa, I don't recommend it. This is just Islam and it doesn't have much to do with the marjas.

I hope I’m not one of those haters...:(

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5 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

 please don't comment things like sister go repent bc all i want is guidance.

well it seems your problem is exactly that, your idea of "guidance".

based off what you described, you have always relied on your mother to explain things to you, now you are saying you are old enough to think for yourself and yet you are still relying on others to provide you with impossible answers. 

so my suggestion is to review the fundamentals of your religion for yourself, and (much later) once you reach issues of hijab and taqleed, come back with specific questions and your 'proofs' of "why hijab isn't wajib", because your post implies that you are coming to conclusions purely off emotions, and any honest person knows decisions based on emotions are not grounded in logic and/or reasonable deduction.

Step up and act like the adult you are claiming to be.

I am not saying one does not need any guidance and shouldn't seek out answers, as Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) said (paraphrasing), 'when one of you decide to travel you find a guide and directions even if its a few miles, yet your ignorance of the paths of the heavens is much more than your ignorance of the paths of the Earth. You must find a guide for yourself'.

So I'm directing you to search for your guide, and come back with the right questions rather than "prove to me hijab and taqleed" because guaranteed no matter how great an answer anyone provides, you won't agree, because you're basic knowledge isn't there to understand such answers meaning you will rely on your emotions/personal experiences. 

So go forth in your quest for knowledge and guidance. Indeed, it will be a struggle. Hope I wasn't too stern and I do sincerely hope the best for you in your quest.

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22 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

if you don’t like hijab don’t wear it 

nobody can force it upon on you 

if your in the west men will still check you out even in hijab 

Why are people disagreeing 

men will still look at in you in hijab I’ve had it happen so many times by both Muslim and non Muslim men 

and if the sister don’t want to wear hijab who are we to force her. 

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8 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

i'm very sorry if this has been asked before but i really need help. 

i started wearing hijab when i was 8 bc my mom told me the old lollipop analogy and i was too young to reason w it. did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it??? or she would say im not a man so I don't know how men think? but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault. i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

ps my mom says i follow sistani bc i wore hijab at 8 and bc her and my dad follow him so i inherently follow him apparently but i never rly made a conscience decision to follow him nor did i know who he was when i started wearing the hijab so I don't know. i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

please don't comment things like sister go repent bc all i want is guidance.

It seems you do not agree with wearing a hijab and that's your choice. But Islam does not approve of hypocrisy. Women must wear the hijab not to please others but as a commitment to uphold the Deen. If you feel you are being forced to wear a hijab against your wishes then from an Islamic perspective it is best not to wear it. 

As to whether hijab is wajib, almost all Muslims agree that it is wajib though the definition of hijab itself may vary depending on class and culture. Generally hijab includes covering the hair and arm.  

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Hijab Jokes

It has been my personal observation that some Muslim girls and women do not realize the significance of hijabHijab is Arabic for protection and cover. Some people put a lot of effort into their hijab, yet it serves no purpose. I am referring to the pointless hijab that some girls wear.

The first pointless hijab is referred to as the headband hijab. It is a band of fabric approximately 4 inches wide. It covers the back of the head and allows all the hair to be exposed. It doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but at least it comes in handy in case of an unexpected tennis match.

The second pointless hijab is the dupetta, also known as the Saran wrap hijab. It covers all the hair, but it is totally transparent. Again it doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but it keeps the hair nice and fresh.

The third type of hijab is known as the Mickey Mouse Hijab. It is when a girl wears a black scarf and tucks it behind her ear, so that her ears stick out.

We now move to my favorites: the yo-yo hijabs. The first yo-yo hijab, also known as the Benazir Bhutto hijab, is the scarf that keeps falling down and needs to be constantly pulled back up....up, down, up, down, just like a yo-yo. The second yo-yo hijab is also referred to as the convertible hijab. This type of hijab is predominant at any type of social event, i.e. an Aqeeqah, Bismillah party, Ameen party, wedding, etc. This is when an Imam or Qari comes up to the microphone and starts to recite Qur'an. At this point, all the convertible hijabs come up...until he says "Sadaqallahul adheem". I'm not sure, but apparently in some cultures that translates to "Ok sisters, you may now take off your scarves".

https://www.al-Islam.org/hijab-Muslim-womens-dress-islamic-or-cultural-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/hijab-jokes

https://www.al-Islam.org/hijab-Muslim-womens-dress-islamic-or-cultural-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi

yo-yo hijabs center now is Iran :grin:

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Guest Maryam
18 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Please Watch

As for you not being responsible for what men do, you are not responsible for it, but the fact is we live in a society of both men and women and the actions of one effect the actions of another. We are all in this together. If we want to suceed as an ummah, we have to give up the mentality of men vs women and that I am only going to do what is in my interest and to hell with the others. This is not what Rasoulallah(p.b.you.h) taught us. He(p.b.you.h) taught us to work together, men and women, to create a society that is better than the way we found it. We can only do this through cooperation. Men and women cooperating together to help each other fulfill their deen. If you don't wear hijab, all this is saying is 'I'm not part of the team', 'I don't care about my Muslim brothers, I'm only going to do what I feel is good for me'. If you wear it, you are saying 'I am part of the ummah, part of a team of men and women who are working together and helping each other to obey Allah(s.w.a)'. By wearing hijab, you are making it easier for your Muslim brothers to fulfill this. 

The original meaning of 'ummah' in Arabic was a word to describe a group of archers who are shooting at the same target. For the Muslim ummah, the target is the pleasure and satisfaction of Allah(s.w.a), which can only be gained through obedience to Allah(s.w.a). This is why the religion we follow is called Islam (submission to the will of Allah(s.w.a)). We cannot gain the satisfaction of Allah(s.w.a) by aiming our arrows at each other. 

BTW, that 'lollipop' thing only works for kids. Once you get older, you need a little bit more intellectual and substantial argument in favor of hijab, which is what I was trying to do above. Salam. 

Salam i’m op. I’ve watched this video before. It doesn’t answer anything. It’s based on how women used to dress in pre-Islamic Arabia which again is out of context of the world we live in today. Saying that women used to already wear hijab but tie it around their necks contradicts other historian records that women used to walk around naked. And your argument basically says if you don’t have a piece of fabric wrapped around ur head then you’re not part of the umma? I believe that being a Muslim woman has so much more to it than that. I know hijab means other things like the way you talk but you are symplifying hijab to to a mere piece of fabric. And what do men do for the umma? Really. What do they do? They get to live normally without being labelled. They get to, to some extent, dress the way they like, swim and do any other sport they like, live their life to the fullest while still being able to pray and fast and they’d still be considered good Muslims. But if a women takes a piece of fabric off her head then she’s obviously being selfish and careless about the umma?

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