Jump to content
ali_fatheroforphans

What age would hand over a smartphone to your

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

38 minutes ago, Reza said:

All their friends have smartphones, and just about everyone around them will. I think they will beg.

Parents are there to educate. It is important to give understanding to their children about the danger of mainstream thing (and its merits if it's not obvious). As long as parents are not implementing double standards, children won't disobey parents.

Edited by 000

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess whatever age most people their age do.

As we come from an older generation we think its stupid, but you can't make your children outcasts in order to prove your point. It will affect your kid all his life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sixteen, but parental controls software is installed. 

Teachers at school give classroom assignments that require the students to log into websites on their smartphones. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

What age would you hand over a smartphone to your kid?

I would personally hand it over when they're 16-17.

 

 

5 hours ago, Reza said:

All their friends have smartphones, and just about everyone around them will. I think they will beg.

 

1 minute ago, notme said:

Sixteen, but parental controls software is installed. 

Teachers at school give classroom assignments that require the students to log into websites on their smartphones. 

Ya'll got kids? Because I don't know if you would be aware your children would be the outcasts and losers at school and society. This will affect their future socially. Its good to protect your kids, but you have to know HOW to protect them, protecting them in wrong ways good be negative on their mental health.

“Do not force your own customs upon your children for they are in other times than yours.” - Imam Ali (as)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At 16 or 17. I don't care if most of their classmates have it by the age of 8 or 10 or 12, I am not responsible for the foolish decision of other parents and 'because everyone has it/everyone's doing it'is one of the lamest arguments ever. Almost everyone in my children's class listens to haram music and only a few of us mothers want our daughters to start taking hijab so following the masses is not a good rule of thumb. 

We Shias are outcasts anyway, have been so for 1400 years.

Edited by starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, starlight said:

At 16 or 17. I don't care if most of their classmates have it by the age of 8 or 10 or 12, I am no responsible for the foolish decision of other parents and 'because everyone has it/everyone's doing it'is one of the lamest arguments ever. Almost everyone in my children's class listens to haram music and only a few of us mothers want our daughters to start taking hijab so following the masses is not a good rule of thumb. 

Listening to haram music is haram, holding a smart phone is not haram. You are not responsible for the foolish decisions of other parents, but you're children are growing up in a different time than you. In this todays generation, smart phones, tablets, etc.. is something essential and normal to have. If you deprive them from it, you are letting them grow up in need of something they don't have. And frankly, most over protective parents, and strict parents, thin they're doing the right thing, but years down the line, these children will become adults, and most will lose their faith, or become very liberal due to the hate of how they were raised.

I can give you an example, growing up we were a group of kids, our parents were varied from lenient to overprotective and strict. Now we're adults, and me and my friends who had lenient parents, follow our religion and are understanding with our faith. Those who had strict parents, some turned to be atheists, some are Muslim by name but don't practice their faith, and some are ultra liberal.  

don’t ruin your childrens future, because of an understanding you currently have, or a pressure that "to be a good Shia mother" you should do this.

Quote

We Shias are outcasts anyway, have been so for 1400 years.

No sorry. I disagree. We're not outcasts. At the moment more than ever, we're not outcasts.

Well, it depends what sort of Shia do you belong to.

Edited by BowTie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BowTie said:

Ya'll got kids? Because I don't know if you would be aware your children would be the outcasts and losers at school and society. This will affect their future socially. Its good to protect your kids, but you have to know HOW to protect them, protecting them in wrong ways good be negative on their mental health.

“Do not force your own customs upon your children for they are in other times than yours.” - Imam Ali (as)

Yes, a sixteen year old and an eighteen year old. Not having smartphones at a young age didn't condemn them as outcasts or losers. You exaggerate. The older wasn't interested in having a phone until he got his smartphone, and he still rarely uses it. The younger is very social and active, and had a basic phone that only makes phone calls and sends text messages, and he got along fine in spite of some teasing from some of his rich friends. (And envy when his phone survived accidents that would have broken theirs.) The only problem was teachers at school assuming that all children have smartphones. 

Edited by notme

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BowTie said:

something essential and normal to have. If you deprive them from it, you are letting them grow up in need of something they don't have

How is it essential for a 10/12 yr old? Convince me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got my first smartphone in 21 but I a,ways had up to date phone & before my 15 no mobile phone was available in Iran that after 6 years my 20 smart phones arrived to Iran 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, starlight said:

How is it essential for a 10/12 yr old? Convince me. 

If a child doesn't have what everyone has around them, knowing you can provide them with it (not that financially you can't), a child will be materialistic growing up, because the child would want to make up for everything.

Not to mention, children around them will be talking about certain things like apps or games or whatever, and the child that doesn't have a smartphone will be isolated.

Lets say all the students at school had a Whats App group, and the little kid who didn't have a smartphone couldn't keep up. He's not going to fit in. And not fitting in as a child, will affect him all his life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BowTie You have no convincing argument besides 'everyone else is doing it so I should too.' 

The example I gave about haraam music was just because it's a simple black and white issue. You can replace haraam music with junk food,tattoos, dying hair pink or whatever. The point here is teaching kids to handle peer pressure which is an essential life skill and if not taught early on will lead to negative consequences when the child is older, like in college or working as a young graduate. 

As a parent I would like you teach my childrent to:

1. Not follow the crowd; reinforced by some real life stories of when I did and regretted it.

2. Importance of making their own decisions and having the strength to swim against the tide. Teaching them that there will be people who will oppose or mock them but they will also always find people who will support them.

In scenarios like these I always remind my chidren of the 72 companions of Imam Hussain (as) vs the thousands in Yazeed's Army and 5 people who sided with Imam Ali (as) verses the hundreds who left him. 

3. Providing them(and their friends when they come over) healthy and interesting alternatives which don't involve a gadget. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BowTie do you happen to be a teen or young adult who suffered from the tragic lack of a phone? Or at least do you know anyone who did? Can you provide concrete examples to counter my two examples of teens who got along just fine without smartphones? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, notme said:

@BowTie do you happen to be a teen or young adult who suffered from the tragic lack of a phone? Or at least do you know anyone who did? Can you provide concrete examples to counter my two examples of teens who got along just fine without smartphones? 

Its not about a smart phone, its about being strict with your children, and I wrote the reasons above.

The topic might be about smartphones, but the type of answers I'm seeing shows the mentalities behind the answer.

34 minutes ago, starlight said:

@BowTie You have no convincing argument besides 'everyone else is doing it so I should too.' 

The example I gave about haraam music was just because it's a simple black and white issue. You can replace haraam music with junk food,tattoos, dying hair pink or whatever. The point here is teaching kids to handle peer pressure which is an essential life skill and if not taught early on will lead to negative consequences when the child is older, like in college or working as a young graduate. 

As a parent I would like you teach my childrent to:

1. Not follow the crowd; reinforced by some real life stories of when I did and regretted it.

2. Importance of making their own decisions and having the strength to swim against the tide. Teaching them that there will be people who will oppose or mock them but they will also always find people who will support them.

In scenarios like these I always remind my chidren of the 72 companions of Imam Hussain (as) vs the thousands in Yazeed's Army and 5 people who sided with Imam Ali (as) verses the hundreds who left him. 

3. Providing them(and their friends when they come over) healthy and interesting alternatives which don't involve a gadget. 

Well good luck with that :party:

P.S. Don't mix haram, with what you "believe isn't right". Thats not healthy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, BowTie said:

Its not about a smart phone, its about being strict with your children, and I wrote the reasons above.

The topic might be about smartphones, but the type of answers I'm seeing shows the mentalities behind the answer.

Smartphones are the context the topic. I provided two real life examples of teens whose social lives were decidedly not ruined by the lack of a smartphone. Perhaps that can be extrapolated into lives not being ruined by strict but reasonable parenting, or perhaps lives aren't ruined by being a thoughtful consumer rather than blindly buying into the latest fashion, I don't know. Those conclusions aren't what we are discussing here.

This topic is specifically about smartphones. You asserted that children's lives will be ruined by not having them. I provided anecdotal examples of lives not being ruined. Your next step is to either provide counterexamples or provide statistical data. That's how polite argument works. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think many are missing the point here. The only argument for allowing people younger than 16-18 have a smartphone is that of herd mentality. I disagree with giving a child a smartphone at say, the age of 18, as some have suggested. We need smartphones to communicate. Some people are naturally more extroverted and crave the social media interaction - which can be done moderately and in a halal way. This may not be such a key argument for allowing younger people to have a smartphone, but kids always want what they don't have. Teens at the age of 15-19 are going through all sorts of changes and developments. Having parental controls on a 17 year old's phone is extremely suffocating. It would only push your kids away. They'll feel alienated. Not because everyone around them has smartphones, but because they can't relate to anyone. There are forums like this and others, catering to different people's interests, which makes them part of a community, which is especially important for immigrant children living in the west. So, in my opinion, around the age of 14 would be good. It's also important to trust your children and your own upbringing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×