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In the Name of God بسم الله
KnowledgeSeeker36

Patience and Speaking During Disagreements with Others

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Asalamu Alaikum everyone, 

As you all know, controlling any anger that we may be feeling and remaining patient are important qualities to have and attain in Islam, as well as in general as a human being. Truly, when we look at all the Prophets and Imams, they all demonstrated respectful qualities toward the people around them, and were kind and patient. 

These are qualities that we should all be striving to have in our lives, and is something I’ve been working on every day. 

As I’m working to further have these qualities, I always have a inquiry that I always ponder over as I socialize with my family and friends. 

As I practice controlling my anger, and remaining patient over problems that arise within my family, I often realize that while I hold back from saying things, words that may not be true or fair about me may be said from others involved in the situation. 

Thus, the question arises. 

I definitely know that we must control our anger and remain patient. However, if someone says someone unjust or unfair about me, or it may feel like I’m not being understood, where do I find the balance between telling the other person how I feel without causing more of a fight? 

I’m asking you all the imagine those heated situations where sometimes if you say things in a calm manner, the person sometimes interprets it in a wrong manner, and the argument may continue. 

In other words, how do I find the balance between remaining patient in disagreements + saying very little, and also letting the other person know that what they may believe about me and the situation may not be true? Sometimes if I am too quiet, I feel sometimes stepped all over.

Thank you.

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On 1/3/2019 at 1:04 PM, KnowledgeSeeker36 said:

As you all know, controlling any anger that we may be feeling and remaining patient are important qualities to have and attain in Islam, as well as in general as a human being.

 

Quote

…Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity or in adversity; who restrain their anger and pardon men; And Allah loves those who do good. (Qur'an, 3: 134)

Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (a) said: "Anger is the key (that opens the door) to all kinds of vices." [Al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 303, hadith # 3]

https://www.al-islam.org/nutshell/files/ghadhab.pdf

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33 minutes ago, Gabenowa said:

For anyone who’s interested, brother @Gabenowa shared these additional PDFs with me and I will take a look. For anyone else reading this, you should take a look too. The last one on anger was beneficial and informational to me. 

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These days i just assure myself that Allah knows me . And that's enough.

We don't need to explain anything to anyone.

Even though i get that burning sensation in my heart but i guess that's what patience is.

It's very difficult but definitely there is a big reward for it.

Getting angry is very easy.

We shouldn't have to justify ourselves. Some people are just ignorant.

Giving justification and explanation to people is like bumping your head against the wall.

You just get hurt.

And i think about Imam Ali A.S. how everyone was against them but they had patience ... 

Imam Ali A.S. were the most mistreated and misunderstood man in the history of the world and they didn't do anything for their rights even though it would have been so easy just to show us the righteous path.

 

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4 minutes ago, Ani said:

These days i just assure myself that Allah knows me . And that's enough.

We don't need to explain anything to anyone.

Even though i get that burning sensation in my heart but i guess that's what patience is.

It's very difficult but definitely there is a big reward for it.

Getting angry is very easy.

We shouldn't have to justify ourselves. Some people are just ignorant.

Giving justification and explanation to people is like bumping your head against the wall.

You just get hurt.

And i think about Imam Ali A.S. how everyone was against them but they had patience ... 

Imam Ali A.S. were the most mistreated and misunderstood man in the history of the world and they didn't do anything for their rights even though it would have been so easy just to show us the righteous path.

 

This reads like a poem but Im guessing it is not. You mean you always have to justify your Shia faith to other people? You get discriminated against? Perhaps even violently mistreated?

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32 minutes ago, Gabenowa said:

This reads like a poem but Im guessing it is not. You mean you always have to justify your Shia faith to other people? You get discriminated against? Perhaps even violently mistreated?

No, nothing about faith.

learnt a lot because of a personal issue.

i don't talk about being a shia to anyone yet. I am still learning.

And i don't think i need to announce it in a loud speaker that i understand bits of real islam now.

It's personal. It's between me and Allah SWT.

We don't need to tell other people what we believe in. If we can show it through good gestures and being better human beings then that's different. 

 

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7 minutes ago, Ani said:

No, nothing about faith.

learnt a lot because of a personal issue.

i don't talk about being a shia to anyone yet. I am still learning.

And i don't think i need to announce it in a loud speaker that i understand bits of real islam now.

It's personal. It's between me and Allah SWT.

We don't need to tell other people what we believe in. If we can show it through good gestures and being better human beings then that's different. 

 

how you described it is exactly how I feel. I realise it through the petrodollars of Saudi Arabia that it's actually easier, atleast outwardly, that its easier being a Sunni Islam. These people built a large mosque in an area where it was predominantly a historical jewish area. Even the large sign at that Mosque reads that it was built with funds supplied by the Saudi Kings foundation. jeeez.

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1 hour ago, Ani said:

These days i just assure myself that Allah knows me . And that's enough.

We don't need to explain anything to anyone.

Even though i get that burning sensation in my heart but i guess that's what patience is.

It's very difficult but definitely there is a big reward for it.

Getting angry is very easy.

We shouldn't have to justify ourselves. Some people are just ignorant.

Giving justification and explanation to people is like bumping your head against the wall.

You just get hurt.

And i think about Imam Ali A.S. how everyone was against them but they had patience ... 

Imam Ali A.S. were the most mistreated and misunderstood man in the history of the world and they didn't do anything for their rights even though it would have been so easy just to show us the righteous path.

 

Imam Ali (AS) on the PURITY AND THE NOBILITY OF KNOWLEDGE

Do not talk about knowledge with the foolish so that they deny you, nor with the ignorant so that they find you oppressive but talk about it with those of its people whom you meet who will accept it and understand it.

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