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Julaybib, the "ugly" Sahabi

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The "ugly" Sahabi and a message to our elders and youth.

Julaybib (Arabic: جليبيب) was a martyr and one of the less known companions of Prophet Muhammad in the early Muslim community. His name was acquired prior to his acceptance of Islam and is considered unusual and incomplete. In the Arabic language Julaybib means "small grown" being the diminutive form of the word jalbab, indicating that Julaybib was small and short, even dwarf-like. He was also described as being damim, meaning ugly, deformed, or repulsive.

Julaybib's lineage was unknown and there is no record of his parents or what tribe he belonged to. All that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that he was one of the Ansar in Medina.

With Julaybib in mind, Muhammad went to an Ansari man and said: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of God and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," he replied. "I do not want her for myself," added Muhammad. "Then for whom, O Messenger of God?" asked the man, obviously disappointed. "For Julaybib," said Muhammad. The Ansari went to consult with his wife, telling her of Muhammad's desire for their daughter to marry Julaybib. His wife was repulsed, and protested saying "To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by God, we shall not marry (her) to him."

While the Ansari was preparing to inform Muhammad of what his wife said, the daughter hearing her mother's protestations, asked: "Who has asked you to marry me?"

It is said that she the daughter was so beautiful that there was none among the women of that clan who could compete with her looks. She was so shy and modest that perhaps the sky itself had never seen her head uncovered. She had so much fear of her creator and piety, that she would spend her days and nights in worship. The daughter asked what was happening, she was told that the Messenger of God wants your hand in marriage for Julaybib. As the Mother continued her crying and wailing the daughter spoke she said, "O my Mother fear Allah think of what you are saying are you turning away the Messenger of God. 'O my Mother it does not suit a believer to make their own decision once God and his Messenger have decided on a matter. Do you think that the Messenger of God will disgrace us? How blessed is the status of Julaybib, that God and his Messenger are asking for your daughter's hand on his behalf. Don't you know that the angels themselves envy the dust on the feet of one who is a beloved of God and His Messenger. Ask the Messenger to send me Julaybib for there is no greater privilege than for me to be blessed by such a husband, the Messenger of God has arrived with such a wonderful gift yet my Mother you cry and wail."

She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

On the day of the expedition his father in law, had pleaded with him: "'O Julaybib this is just an expedition, it is not a compulsory Jihad, it is a voluntary Jihad, therefore you are newly married spend some time with your wife."

Julaybib, the one who had spent a lifetime in despair, had now found a loving wife. But he replied to his father in law's request and said, " 'O my father you say a strange thing, my Beloved Prophet is in the battlefield facing the enemies of Islam and you want me to sit at home with my wife, nay I will sacrifice my blood and my soul rather than see my Prophet facing hardship while I sit at home in luxury".

Julaybib participated in an expedition with Muhammad in which an encounter with some enemies ensued.

After that battle the Prophet of God, asked his companions to go and to see if anyone was missing from their family's and clans. Each one returned accounting for all his family members. Then the Prophet spoke with tears in his eyes he said "But I have lost my Beloved Julaybib, go and find him." They found his diminutive body lying next to seven enemies he had slain in the battle.

The Prophet of God asked for a grave to be dug, as the Prophet of God held the body of Julaybib. The companions wept profusely "May our Mothers and Fathers be sacrificed for you O' Julaybib, how great is your status." Thus a companion who had once lived as an outcast, shunned by the society around him. He loved God and his Messenger and reached such a high status. He who was not good looking was blessed with a beautiful wife, he who was poor was blessed by a wealthy wife, he who had no family or status, was blessed by a wife with noble status and lineage he who had lived in loneliness and despair, was loved by Allah and his messenger, He had the Messenger of God say: " O Allah he is from me and I am from him."

It is said: "That upon his martyrdom, that the sky itself was filled with thousands of angels who had come to participate in his funeral."

Julaybib 'The Lonesome one' had become a beloved of Allah, and his prophet, he was lonely no more. Such is the status of the lovers of the Prophet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now after reading this "authentic" tradition, how many of our youths are ready to select a spouse only and only on the basis of piety and faith no matter the potential spouse has any physical defects (which are put in him/her to test him/her as well as those around him/her)??

How many parents are ready to accept such spouse?

This is the deen of Islam. The All Encompassing deen which doesn't discriminates among its followers on the basis of physical appearance. Taqwa is the only standard.

If you really are a Muslim (of logic, reason, knowledge and love) then break the cultural taboos you've build around yourselves and break the face of Shaytan.

Only Allah knows how much reward will this act hold for you on the Day of Judgement to marry someone pious completely ignoring their physical differences.

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17 minutes ago, Anonymous2144 said:

I’ve heard that story from a sunni sheik. I don’t believe that story is true though. Probably some ugly persom made it up to make other ugly people seem “valuable” or feel better about themselves. 

Why reject it? It's a good story with a good message. It's also reported in our hadith literature. Socrates was also very ugly yet was the wisest man alive well at least that's what the oracle said about him.

Also, his name is reported as Juwaybir in a hadith in furu' al kafi. 

https://purifiedhousehold.com/ugly-juwaybir-and-his-marriage/

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Who said we cannot discriminate based on looks? Who said the Imams (as) didn't tell us to marry pretty women or to marry women with certain physical attributes? It isn't the way of the religion to cherry-pick hadiths without looking at the picture holistically.

Here is a bunch of hadiths and scholarly opinions on this topic;

http://realtashayyu.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-ideal-wives.html

Keep in mind the translator made a few mistakes but the overall points are obvious.

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1 hour ago, Anonymous2144 said:

I’ve heard that story from a sunni sheik. I don’t believe that story is true though. Probably some ugly persom made it up to make other ugly people seem “valuable” or feel better about themselves. 

Salalm this is a tactic from Sunni sheikhs  & preachers that change & say shia hadiths & stories in their way that they want ,this story maybe common between Shias & Sunnis but many times sunnis forge shia hadiths & stories in their favor ,this is story also come in book of Mratyr Mutahhari 

https://www.al-islam.org/anecdotes-pious-men-ayatullah-murtadha-mutahhari/jowaiber-and-zalfa

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25 minutes ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salalm this is a tactic from Sunni sheikhs  & preachers that change & say shia hadiths & stories in their way that they want ,this story maybe common between Shias & Sunnis but many times sunnis forge shia hadiths & stories in their favor ,this is story also come in book of Mratyr Mutahhari 

https://www.al-islam.org/anecdotes-pious-men-ayatullah-murtadha-mutahhari/jowaiber-and-zalfa

The sunni sheik said it the same why he did but there was more to it. But that’s not the issue, the hadith contradicts other authentic hadiths about beauty and etc. 

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5 hours ago, Sumerian said:

Here is a bunch of hadiths and scholarly opinions on this topic;

http://realtashayyu.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-ideal-wives.html

Keep in mind the translator made a few mistakes but the overall points are obvious.

"Marry the woman who has a white and rosy skin complexion (i.e. is neither dark skinned, nor pale, but has a good and healthy skin complexion), large beautiful black eyes, big and round (well shaped) hips and buttocks, and is moderately tall”

 "Its from the good fortune of the man that he undress a fair/white skinned woman”

“Marry the blue eyed women, for indeed in them is good fortune."

 "Seek the good (khayr) through the beautiful faces, for indeed their deeds/actions are more likely to be good (than those of ugly women who would be jealous)."

So the Prophet and Imams were proponents of Eurocentric beauty standards? What about the rest of the world where the people are of darker complexion? Didn’t the Imams themselves have African mothers? What about women who don’t have the good fortune of being conventionally good looking or have small hips and eyes? As if any of them have control over how they look? Is physical beauty now the only thing we should all look out for when choosing a spouse? Also where are the hadiths about what we should look for in a man’s looks? If there aren’t any why not? 

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4 hours ago, Shi3i_jadeed said:

Why reject it? It's a good story with a good message. It's also reported in our hadith literature. Socrates was also very ugly yet was the wisest man alive well at least that's what the oracle said about him.

Also, his name is reported as Juwaybir in a hadith in furu' al kafi. 

https://purifiedhousehold.com/ugly-juwaybir-and-his-marriage/

Some people are fond of rejecting things bro :) 

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9 hours ago, Waseem162 said:

The "ugly" Sahabi and a message to our elders and youth.

Julaybib (Arabic: جليبيب) was a martyr and one of the less known companions of Prophet Muhammad in the early Muslim community. His name was acquired prior to his acceptance of Islam and is considered unusual and incomplete. In the Arabic language Julaybib means "small grown" being the diminutive form of the word jalbab, indicating that Julaybib was small and short, even dwarf-like. He was also described as being damim, meaning ugly, deformed, or repulsive.

Julaybib's lineage was unknown and there is no record of his parents or what tribe he belonged to. All that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that he was one of the Ansar in Medina.

With Julaybib in mind, Muhammad went to an Ansari man and said: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of God and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," he replied. "I do not want her for myself," added Muhammad. "Then for whom, O Messenger of God?" asked the man, obviously disappointed. "For Julaybib," said Muhammad. The Ansari went to consult with his wife, telling her of Muhammad's desire for their daughter to marry Julaybib. His wife was repulsed, and protested saying "To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by God, we shall not marry (her) to him."

While the Ansari was preparing to inform Muhammad of what his wife said, the daughter hearing her mother's protestations, asked: "Who has asked you to marry me?"

It is said that she the daughter was so beautiful that there was none among the women of that clan who could compete with her looks. She was so shy and modest that perhaps the sky itself had never seen her head uncovered. She had so much fear of her creator and piety, that she would spend her days and nights in worship. The daughter asked what was happening, she was told that the Messenger of God wants your hand in marriage for Julaybib. As the Mother continued her crying and wailing the daughter spoke she said, "O my Mother fear Allah think of what you are saying are you turning away the Messenger of God. 'O my Mother it does not suit a believer to make their own decision once God and his Messenger have decided on a matter. Do you think that the Messenger of God will disgrace us? How blessed is the status of Julaybib, that God and his Messenger are asking for your daughter's hand on his behalf. Don't you know that the angels themselves envy the dust on the feet of one who is a beloved of God and His Messenger. Ask the Messenger to send me Julaybib for there is no greater privilege than for me to be blessed by such a husband, the Messenger of God has arrived with such a wonderful gift yet my Mother you cry and wail."

She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

On the day of the expedition his father in law, had pleaded with him: "'O Julaybib this is just an expedition, it is not a compulsory Jihad, it is a voluntary Jihad, therefore you are newly married spend some time with your wife."

Julaybib, the one who had spent a lifetime in despair, had now found a loving wife. But he replied to his father in law's request and said, " 'O my father you say a strange thing, my Beloved Prophet is in the battlefield facing the enemies of Islam and you want me to sit at home with my wife, nay I will sacrifice my blood and my soul rather than see my Prophet facing hardship while I sit at home in luxury".

Julaybib participated in an expedition with Muhammad in which an encounter with some enemies ensued.

After that battle the Prophet of God, asked his companions to go and to see if anyone was missing from their family's and clans. Each one returned accounting for all his family members. Then the Prophet spoke with tears in his eyes he said "But I have lost my Beloved Julaybib, go and find him." They found his diminutive body lying next to seven enemies he had slain in the battle.

The Prophet of God asked for a grave to be dug, as the Prophet of God held the body of Julaybib. The companions wept profusely "May our Mothers and Fathers be sacrificed for you O' Julaybib, how great is your status." Thus a companion who had once lived as an outcast, shunned by the society around him. He loved God and his Messenger and reached such a high status. He who was not good looking was blessed with a beautiful wife, he who was poor was blessed by a wealthy wife, he who had no family or status, was blessed by a wife with noble status and lineage he who had lived in loneliness and despair, was loved by Allah and his messenger, He had the Messenger of God say: " O Allah he is from me and I am from him."

It is said: "That upon his martyrdom, that the sky itself was filled with thousands of angels who had come to participate in his funeral."

Julaybib 'The Lonesome one' had become a beloved of Allah, and his prophet, he was lonely no more. Such is the status of the lovers of the Prophet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now after reading this "authentic" tradition, how many of our youths are ready to select a spouse only and only on the basis of piety and faith no matter the potential spouse has any physical defects (which are put in him/her to test him/her as well as those around him/her)??

How many parents are ready to accept such spouse?

This is the deen of Islam. The All Encompassing deen which doesn't discriminates among its followers on the basis of physical appearance. Taqwa is the only standard.

If you really are a Muslim (of logic, reason, knowledge and love) then break the cultural taboos you've build around yourselves and break the face of Shaytan.

Only Allah knows how much reward will this act hold for you on the Day of Judgement to marry someone pious completely ignoring their physical differences.

I think many Muslim sisters are not as pester as the Muslim men are when it comes to the most suitable spouse selection. Muslim women are for most part more accommodating than men. 

I think this question should be directed to single Muslim men of how accommodating they ought to be. It’s mostly Muslim men who try to get the human horeee on their one and only chance of winning a wife and become way too selective. -:) 

 

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7 hours ago, Nevsevug said:

"Marry the woman who has a white and rosy skin complexion (i.e. is neither dark skinned, nor pale, but has a good and healthy skin complexion), large beautiful black eyes, big and round (well shaped) hips and buttocks, and is moderately tall”

 "Its from the good fortune of the man that he undress a fair/white skinned woman”

“Marry the blue eyed women, for indeed in them is good fortune."

 "Seek the good (khayr) through the beautiful faces, for indeed their deeds/actions are more likely to be good (than those of ugly women who would be jealous)."

So the Prophet and Imams were proponents of Eurocentric beauty standards? What about the rest of the world where the people are of darker complexion? Didn’t the Imams themselves have African mothers? What about women who don’t have the good fortune of being conventionally good looking or have small hips and eyes? As if any of them have control over how they look? Is physical beauty now the only thing we should all look out for when choosing a spouse? Also where are the hadiths about what we should look for in a man’s looks? If there aren’t any why not? 

Thanks for posting the hadiths. I agree with them wholeheartedly but disagree with your conclusion.

I heard it somewhere which goes like, ‘there are no ugly girls, there are just lazy girls’.

100% of physical beauty is in good health. Pick any random healthy female and she would be beautiful looking irrespective of her anything. Health is the key which many females and males ignore, and then complain about looking undesirable. 

You could test it too. Look at the majority of Muslim couples that are in the West and are health conscious. Now compare them with their same age cousins who married the same time back in Asian countries where there is not much culture of being health aware and the foods have more sugars in it. You could see them looking ten years older although they would be of the same age. It’s a generalization but holds true for most part. 

If you reread the Hadith that you posted with requirement of good health as an indicator of physical beautify then it would make more sense. 

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10 hours ago, Nevsevug said:

"Marry the woman who has a white and rosy skin complexion (i.e. is neither dark skinned, nor pale, but has a good and healthy skin complexion), large beautiful black eyes, big and round (well shaped) hips and buttocks, and is moderately tall”

 "Its from the good fortune of the man that he undress a fair/white skinned woman”

“Marry the blue eyed women, for indeed in them is good fortune."

 "Seek the good (khayr) through the beautiful faces, for indeed their deeds/actions are more likely to be good (than those of ugly women who would be jealous)."

So the Prophet and Imams were proponents of Eurocentric beauty standards? What about the rest of the world where the people are of darker complexion? Didn’t the Imams themselves have African mothers? What about women who don’t have the good fortune of being conventionally good looking or have small hips and eyes? As if any of them have control over how they look? Is physical beauty now the only thing we should all look out for when choosing a spouse? Also where are the hadiths about what we should look for in a man’s looks? If there aren’t any why not? 

There are other hadiths which push marrying tanned/brown women. No issue. 

My main point is physical beauty is a criteria that exists in Shi'i hadith literature.

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3 hours ago, Sumerian said:

There are other hadiths which push marrying tanned/brown women. No issue. 

My main point is physical beauty is a criteria that exists in Shi'i hadith literature.

Criteria isnt really the right word, its more of a recommended accessory to a marriage; character is the ultimate priority at the end of the day as many hadiths comparing the two clarify. Naturally bhooka isnt interested in mentioning such narrations because his whole blog existly mainly for shock value lol.

 

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11 minutes ago, Jahangiram said:

Criteria isnt really the right word, its more of a recommended accessory to a marriage; character is the ultimate priority at the end of the day as many hadiths comparing the two clarify. Naturally bhooka isnt interested in mentioning such narrations because his whole blog existly mainly for shock value lol.

 

Sure, I can live with that. The point is physical attributes is mentioned in our literature - even if it is just a recommendation.

مسألة 7 : يستحب اختيار امرأة تجمع صفات بأن تكون بكراً ولوداً ، ودوداً ، عفيفة ، كريمة الأصل ـ بأن لا تكون من زنا أو حيض أو شبهة، أو ممّن تنال الألسن آباءها أو اُمهاتها، أو مسهم رق أو كفر أو فسق معروف ـ وأن تكون سمراء، عيناء، عجزاء ، مربوعة ، طيّبة الريح، درمة الكعب، جميلة ، ذات شعر ، صالحة ، تُعين زوجها على الدنيا والآخرة ، عزيزة في أهلها ، ذليلة مع بعلها متبرِّجة مع زوجها ، حصاناً مع غيره .

https://www.al-khoei.us/books/index.php?id=4666

This is a good run down of recommended traits a potential wife should have.

Edited by Sumerian

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