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Laayla

Forgiving Those Who Oppressed You

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Islam always encourages us to forgive those who wronged us.

Can you mention a situation where you forgave someone?

What is the wisdom in forgiving people who have treated us wrong, physically, mentally, emotionally?

Right now in front of my eyes, I saw an incident where a resident of a building wanted to kick out the Natoor (lives in a small room with his family who cleans the building).

I see a person who wrongfully hurts others just because he is poor, of a different country, and has no protection from family, country, or law enforcement.

@starlight

Sisters from your experience in life, what has forgiving others taught you?

@Hameedeh

Brothers your perspective on this topic please.

@Haji 2003

@Abu Hadi

@Marbles

Dh told me that we forgive others because we want Allah swt to forgive us as well.  I said we can't oppress Allah swt, we oppress ourselves.   But when it comes to people's rights, before we go to Hajj, ziyarat we ask for forgiveness.   But there is different levels of oppression, like if someone backstabbed me, it is easier to forgive gheeba than for example to forgive someone who stole my land for example.

Sayyida Fatima Zahra didn't forgive Abu Bakr and Umar because they stole her land and prevented her from benefiting the poor and needy from the yield.

Sayyida Fatima didn't forgive Abu Bakr, Umar, because they stole the leadership from Imam Ali 3la salam.

3yesha is not forgiven because she caused blood to be spilled to thousands of Muslims during the Battle of the Camel.

I understand if we forgive other mo2mineen who have done wrongdoing.  But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

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1 hour ago, Laayla said:

Islam always encourages us to forgive those who wronged us. 

What is the wisdom in forgiving people who have treated us wrong, physically, mentally, emotionally?

I understand if we forgive other mo2mineen who have done wrongdoing.  But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

That pure unconditional quality of  forgiveness in Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him and his Ahlulbayt) is what inspires me to neet him someday inshalah. Its a beutiful thing like an innocent of a child and can get people shedding tears. 

You ask an interesting question which I also ponder upon sometimes. Personally i feel some people are not ready for forgiveness, especially if they will continue hurting others.

Maybe to keep forgiving them until they realise what they are doing will only take them away from Allah (subahana wa tala) is the strategy of forgiveness. 

Edited by Murtaza1

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1 hour ago, Laayla said:

But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

In the particular instance of Fadak, I wonder whether there are two issues here. Because surely this was not a civil issue of a dispute between two people, rather it was a dispute between the State whose rights were being interpreted by certain caliphs and Hazrat Fatima (s.a.).

If the laws of the State itself are being (wilfully) misinterpreted surely any forgiveness can't just be the gift of an individual private person?

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum

Everytime I step out of the house, my eyes witness how human beings interact with other human beings.

God forbid if a woman allows her maid to sit in the passenger seat, no she has to sit in the back.

A beggar asking for money at the exit door of the masjid, and the man who just got out praying yelling at her to leave the premises.  It really baffles me that did you forget your mowla Amir al mo2mineen giving charity in ruku3 inside the masjid?

Young children not in school and in the streets working, people saying rude, nasty remarks.

I was throwing my own trash, I remember my neighbor commenting and asking why are you throwing your trash, have the natoor do it.  All I did was smile.  How can you answer such people?   

God hasten the reappearance of Sahab az zaman.

Last night, for the first time it was hard for me to go to sleep.  I'm worried about humanity and how people treat others in a disgusting way.

I ask Allah swt to keep me in check so I could never hurt a soul.  Even a small ant.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

 

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18 minutes ago, Laayla said:

Last night, for the first time it was hard for me to go to sleep.  I'm worried about humanity and how people treat others in a disgusting way.

I know how you feel. I often feel the same way when i see innocent people being oppressed in the street. Simply seeing men gawking with lustful eyes at innocent women is enough to spoil my day. 

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As-salaam-alaikum,

Wow! The questions answers actually go pretty far, and I don't have the time nor the mental stamina to get that far into it at the moment, but I have a feeling it has something to do with personal forgiveness which is good for our souls like was mentioned above for the Forgiveness of Allah to occur, vs forgiveness of an oppressor, and someone who does harm on the society level and "causes mischief in the land" 

I wish i had the time  and energy to hash this one through more! 

Looking forward to others answers here, in sha Allah.

W/s

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In my (Arab) culture, revenge is unfortunately a higher virtue than forgiveness. Forgiveness is a founding principle of human existence. Humans are from water, and wudu and ghusl wash our sins away. Every kaffara, istighfar, and du`a' is founded on forgiveness and mercy. The Messenger (s) had every right to punish the Meccans, but he chose to free them. Even those who ran away from battles, leaving him alone with Ali (as), were not punished or penalized in any way. He is Rahmatan lil `Alameen, and everything we do is supposed to be in emulation of him. This means that the model Muslim is a mercy to the worlds, and a net positive on humanity and nature.

An action against the Ahl al-Bayt is not at the same level as an action against us. Not even close. You can compare it to this similitude: it is worse to sin in the month of Ramadan, while fasting, while in Mecca, while in the Sanctuary, than it is to sin in an ordinary month, in private, in an ordinary city, away from the masjid. If I even scratched Sayyida Fatima (as), that may be even worse than beating an ordinary Muslim or non-Muslim, even if both are sins. Let alone those who oppressed her. She was the reason for their very existence, it is worse than oppressing your own mother.

If a Muslim harmed me, who am I to not be harmed? My only protection is Allah's hurma of the mu'min, otherwise I have no value whatsoever, regardless of whatever human/civic rights or honour I think I have. Who am I to not forgive that person, since I have also sinned - should I expect imperfection from myself but perfection from others? At the very least, I should forgive the person because I need the thawab. Maybe on the Day of Judgment, that one good deed will be the difference between Paradise and the fire.

I've been attacked even by people who I fed, sheltered, given rides to, given money to, and given advice to -- many, many times. Am I supposed to fill my heart with rage against them? It is much easier and healthier for me to forgive them when I go to sleep. If I saw any of those brothers again, I would give them a hug and never mention the harm that they did to me. Amir al-Mu'mineen went through WAY worse than people talking bad things about him. He didn't give up on them, and even pardoned the people of Jamal.

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20 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Islam always encourages us to forgive those who wronged us.

Can you mention a situation where you forgave someone?

What is the wisdom in forgiving people who have treated us wrong, physically, mentally, emotionally?

Right now in front of my eyes, I saw an incident where a resident of a building wanted to kick out the Natoor (lives in a small room with his family who cleans the building).

I see a person who wrongfully hurts others just because he is poor, of a different country, and has no protection from family, country, or law enforcement.

@starlight

Sisters from your experience in life, what has forgiving others taught you?

@Hameedeh

Brothers your perspective on this topic please.

@Haji 2003

@Abu Hadi

@Marbles

Dh told me that we forgive others because we want Allah swt to forgive us as well.  I said we can't oppress Allah swt, we oppress ourselves.   But when it comes to people's rights, before we go to Hajj, ziyarat we ask for forgiveness.   But there is different levels of oppression, like if someone backstabbed me, it is easier to forgive gheeba than for example to forgive someone who stole my land for example.

Sayyida Fatima Zahra didn't forgive Abu Bakr and Umar because they stole her land and prevented her from benefiting the poor and needy from the yield.

Sayyida Fatima didn't forgive Abu Bakr, Umar, because they stole the leadership from Imam Ali 3la salam.

3yesha is not forgiven because she caused blood to be spilled to thousands of Muslims during the Battle of the Camel.

I understand if we forgive other mo2mineen who have done wrongdoing.  But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

Very hard when the opressors are raising your daughter 

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Salam,

After Ibnul Muljam strike Imam Ali (as), he was caught and tied.  Imam Ali asked water to be given to Ibnul Muljam and loosen the tightness of the rope.  He told Ibnul Muljam that he will forgive Ibnul Muljam if he survive the blow, but Imam Ali (as) did not survive.  

Forgiveness has so much virtue and Allah swt also forgive to those servants that ask Him.

The moment a person forgive others he will feel the burden that he has to carry is reduced.  Meaning ...Allah swt also forgive him.  It brings peace to the heart and protection from Allah swt.

 

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On 1/2/2019 at 7:02 PM, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Islam always encourages us to forgive those who wronged us.

Can you mention a situation where you forgave someone?

What is the wisdom in forgiving people who have treated us wrong, physically, mentally, emotionally?

Right now in front of my eyes, I saw an incident where a resident of a building wanted to kick out the Natoor (lives in a small room with his family who cleans the building).

I see a person who wrongfully hurts others just because he is poor, of a different country, and has no protection from family, country, or law enforcement.

@starlight

Sisters from your experience in life, what has forgiving others taught you?

@Hameedeh

Brothers your perspective on this topic please.

@Haji 2003

@Abu Hadi

@Marbles

Dh told me that we forgive others because we want Allah swt to forgive us as well.  I said we can't oppress Allah swt, we oppress ourselves.   But when it comes to people's rights, before we go to Hajj, ziyarat we ask for forgiveness.   But there is different levels of oppression, like if someone backstabbed me, it is easier to forgive gheeba than for example to forgive someone who stole my land for example.

Sayyida Fatima Zahra didn't forgive Abu Bakr and Umar because they stole her land and prevented her from benefiting the poor and needy from the yield.

Sayyida Fatima didn't forgive Abu Bakr, Umar, because they stole the leadership from Imam Ali 3la salam.

3yesha is not forgiven because she caused blood to be spilled to thousands of Muslims during the Battle of the Camel.

I understand if we forgive other mo2mineen who have done wrongdoing.  But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

Ws sister.

To forgive those who trespassed against us is extremely difficult and a great test of faith. We don't know how we'd react unless we're tested, especially when the act or the person to be forgiven has had far-reaching consequences on our lives and that of our loved ones.

According my family I tend to forgive easily, forget old grudges, and move on. This has helped me ease the burden off my mind and dispel the all-consuming feelings of hate and revenge one has for those who wronged us. But I can't say the same when the aggressor has still not relented and continues to harm me or people around me. 

Personally, I do not quite understand the need - personal, communal or cultural - to pay back the offence in kind when it is easy to ignore, forget or forgive the offence. I wasn't always like this; I learned it over time. I think it's far better to move on with a freer heart than wallow in feelings of revenge, which often ends in ugly ways and further bitter consequences.

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Forgiveness is not for the sake of the oppressor, but for the benefit of the one who forgives. 

If the oppression is ongoing, it doesn't usually make sense to forgive, especially if by holding that anger a person can impact a positive change or action in the oppressor or in others. 

If the oppression has ended, it's to nobody's benefit to continue in anger. Holding anger is bad for your physical and mental health and will spill over into other parts of your life. 

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I will never want to forgive those who made lie and false information about me and has create an on going oppression on me. And I want to see the faces of those who made lie about and has slander me on the day of judgement, all their faces.

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4 hours ago, learn said:

I will never want to forgive those who made lie and false information about me and has create an on going oppression on me. And I want to see the faces of those who made lie about and has slander me on the day of judgement, all their faces.

Sometimes those who oppressed us are under the influence  of syaitans and his bad nafs (amarah). 

If the person made efforts to seek forgiveness from us... learn to forgive.

If he not yet making effort, ask Allah swt to show him guidance.  Ask Allah swt to remove the person from the syaitans that controlling the person.

Curse and never forgive shaitans.  Unless the person turns into slave of syaitans.  We knew very well why Fatema (as) did not forgive certain so-called leaders.

May Allah swt protect us from syaitans... 

The character of syaitan..he will never try to forgive others.  We shall not have that character.

Edited by layman

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Forgiveness is what keeps you breathing.

You want to turn into those old women who hold grudges. Good luck with that.

P.S. Please don't use Sayeda Fatima as an example. WAY different situations and different and HUGE reasons. (+ it wasn't about a simple land)

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On 1/2/2019 at 7:02 PM, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Islam always encourages us to forgive those who wronged us.

Can you mention a situation where you forgave someone?

What is the wisdom in forgiving people who have treated us wrong, physically, mentally, emotionally?

Right now in front of my eyes, I saw an incident where a resident of a building wanted to kick out the Natoor (lives in a small room with his family who cleans the building).

I see a person who wrongfully hurts others just because he is poor, of a different country, and has no protection from family, country, or law enforcement.

@starlight

Sisters from your experience in life, what has forgiving others taught you?

@Hameedeh

Brothers your perspective on this topic please.

@Haji 2003

@Abu Hadi

@Marbles

Dh told me that we forgive others because we want Allah swt to forgive us as well.  I said we can't oppress Allah swt, we oppress ourselves.   But when it comes to people's rights, before we go to Hajj, ziyarat we ask for forgiveness.   But there is different levels of oppression, like if someone backstabbed me, it is easier to forgive gheeba than for example to forgive someone who stole my land for example.

Sayyida Fatima Zahra didn't forgive Abu Bakr and Umar because they stole her land and prevented her from benefiting the poor and needy from the yield.

Sayyida Fatima didn't forgive Abu Bakr, Umar, because they stole the leadership from Imam Ali 3la salam.

3yesha is not forgiven because she caused blood to be spilled to thousands of Muslims during the Battle of the Camel.

I understand if we forgive other mo2mineen who have done wrongdoing.  But those who willfully hurt others to gain money, power, and land why would anyone forgive them?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

وَعَلَيْكُمْ السَّلاَمُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ 

In the view of Allah, one who forgives is better than the one who takes revenge most likely.

Have a look at this link.

https://www.al-islam.org/forgiveness-islam/forgiveness-islam

In regards to the incident of 'Fadaq' Ahlul Bayt(asws) likewise Prophet(saww) never kept grudges with anybody for anything, it was not from the characteristics of Ahlul Bayt(asws). Lady Syeda(asws) being among the Ahlul Bayt(asws), I do not believe that she would hold grudge with somebody over a land, They are very merciful, all of them.

Having said that, yes one can say they might have forgiven Fadak looking at how kind they are but Allah did not forgive those who wronged Ahlul Bayt(asws), as we have seen from Quran about the enemies of Prophet(saww) and their treatment by Allah, an example is Abu Lahab.

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8 hours ago, Asghar Ali Karbalai said:

In regards to the incident of 'Fadaq' Ahlul Bayt(asws) likewise Prophet(saww) never kept grudges with anybody for anything, it was not from the characteristics of Ahlul Bayt(asws). Lady Syeda(asws) being among the Ahlul Bayt(asws), I do not believe that she would hold grudge with somebody over a land, They are very merciful, all of them.

It is not a grudge if the injustice is ongoing. It is right to have anger toward an active injustice. At any time during her lifetime, those who usurped Fadak could have taken steps to make things right but they didn't. They never even acknowledged wrongdoing or even entertained the possibility of it. 

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On 1/3/2019 at 7:02 AM, Qa'im said:

He didn't give up on them, and even pardoned the people of Jamal.

Did he? Any narrations to backup? 

Edited by Sirius_Bright
Offtopic, sorry.

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6 hours ago, notme said:

It is not a grudge if the injustice is ongoing. It is right to have anger toward an active injustice. At any time during her lifetime, those who usurped Fadak could have taken steps to make things right but they didn't. They never even acknowledged wrongdoing or even entertained the possibility of it. 

They wronged Ahlul Bayt(asws) in it there is no doubt but Ahlul Bayt(asws) are very far away from being materialistic, the reason why Lady(asws) spoke for Fadak was because she wanted to the clear picture of the culprits in front of everybody.

Anger towards injustice is right but Ahlul Bayt(asws) never became angry on those who oppressed them(asws), they did not do anything for their own 'nafs'.

Have you heard of the story in which in a battle an enemy of Islam spits on Moula Ali(asws) and he(asws) walks back, waits and then kills the enemy saying that had he killed him on that spot it would have been for his own nafs but he waited, calmed his anger and then for the sake of Allah he killed him?

They became angry on those who were the enemies of Islam and not personal enemies.

Try to understand my point. Ahlul Bayt(asws) are far from getting angry over their personal concerns, it is Allah who gets angry when people trouble them(asws) or Prophet Mohammad(saww). And Allah does not forgive their enemies.

There is an ayah similar to the last sentence, I am unable to confirm the ayah number as of now.

But anyway, this is a thorough understanding of how it works.

I have explained you very briefly and I would advise you to go through their(asws) lives seperately and see their(asws) narrations to understand their characters(asws) based on how much they allow you to understand in the first place with pure intention. But this is what I have understood.

Edited by Asghar Ali Karbalai

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