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In the Name of God بسم الله
SeekingHeaven

Masturbation is killing me

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Salam, i have posted about my masturbation issue before and I still can't get rid of it. I feel guilty after i do it and vow that i will not do it again and at the same time i pray and listen to lectures and at those times i am fine but then after a week or two i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop" and I just feel too stressed out and to be honest I don't even want to live anymore. I always wake up tired and lazy and drag myself to work and back and im about to go back to college in a week. I just feel like I've given up on myself.

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Salaam Alaykum Brother

May Allah help you. I do dua for you. Please don't pollute your clear spirit. I know a lot of people who were addicted to this sin, but they got rid of it successfully. Be energetic and hopeful. Allah and Ahlulbait would help you. If you need help, pm me. Some of people who avoided this sin became energetic and religious after that. I'm sure you can also get rid of this sin and be Zinat for Ahlulbait inshaallah.

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7 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

Salam, i have posted about my masturbation issue before and I still can't get rid of it. I feel guilty after i do it and vow that i will not do it again and at the same time i pray and listen to lectures and at those times i am fine but then after a week or two i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop" and I just feel too stressed out and to be honest I don't even want to live anymore. I always wake up tired and lazy and drag myself to work and back and im about to go back to college in a week. I just feel like I've given up on myself.

Start reading and listening Qur'an. I tell you this sin will go away surely. Surround yourself with spiritual people. Don't ever watch pornography (and think about sex) and focus on your studies. Be in Wudhu as much as possible and improve your sleeping postures. 

All of this will help you become a better man. May Allah help you.

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Salam,

Learn more about spirituality.  If the spiritual part of you takes more control over the physical part, maybe easier to control the self for certain duration of time.

When the physical urge shows up, let the spiritual part take control.

Spiritual means you are controlled by intelligent that comes through your heart.  You will put less priority to your physical part.

Physical means you are controlled mostly by logics/nafs of your brain functions and faculties.

There is nothing wrong with sexual urges (part of nafs).  It is just like eating and drinking.  Human needs nafs for survival.  Just it has to be halal and there are limits to nafs.

While you are using spiritual means to control the self, seek ways and methods to satisfy the nafs urges through halal means. Even using spiritual means to control the nafs has limit.  Finding halal means to fulfill the nafs urges are also jihad.

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7 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

Salam, i have posted about my masturbation issue before and I still can't get rid of it. I feel guilty after i do it and vow that i will not do it again and at the same time i pray and listen to lectures and at those times i am fine but then after a week or two i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop" and I just feel too stressed out and to be honest I don't even want to live anymore. I always wake up tired and lazy and drag myself to work and back and im about to go back to college in a week. I just feel like I've given up on myself.

age?

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8 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop"

Salam you must make this cycle everytime longer when you did it after 3 months postpone it for 4 month for another  time & next time for 5 months also visit cemetery & graves to remeber Allah more that you can't survive death when you become busy with worldly affairs it makes you to repeat this sin but remembrance of death will help you to stand against this sin.

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On 1/1/2019 at 1:58 PM, King said:

Try your best but realize [IMHO] its not a battle most can win all the time.

Strongly disagree. 

I've been blessed to be among those that never had an attraction to the said behaviour, so perhaps I have no clue what I'm talking about,

but I believe anyone can "win" the battle just like with any other 'sin', but most people don't believe they can and/or flat out don't want to. It was disturbing to me during my teen years hearing guys saying it's impossible to refrain and that if you don't engage in such behaviour you're abnormal - it's insane to me - they genuinely believe it isn't possible to refrain for whatever reason, though it obviously is - otherwise God wouldn't have made it significant sin.

Honestly my advice for the OP, though it won't count for much, would be to man up. See the repulsiveness in it, you are a human created above such behaviours.

In terms of practicality, make a day planner every morning to fill in every single hour with things to do, and go to a gym everyday. Literally write down your schedule and post it on your door or wherever. If you're bored and/or have nothing to do, the devil's playground will be in full effect. And finally, exercise the right of your manhood and find a partner for temporary marriage if possible.

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5 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

21

Working? If so marry in an year or so and marry a good girl, don't rush, till that time try to survive brother by holding onto your feelings and seeking help from Allah.

Don't delay marriage or else this habit will last after marriage even.

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The issue of masturbation (for secular people who get addicted and fed up with it, even when they're not morally opposed to it) is one of the mind. A person, whether male or female, must learn self-discipline in many, many areas. Outside of any specific religion or culture, the notion of the individual taking control (or the reins) over the self on any number of things one may face in life, is a critical thing. Self-discipline, self-restraint, knowing what your "I" is, becoming a person who isn't alien to his/her own thoughts and involuntary actions - becoming someone who is mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong.

@King is correct here, that even in the face of religious conviction, this is something that people still do and choose to lie to themselves about. It and of itself is a natural process of the sexually coming of age, it's something every normal man and woman will know the emotional and psychological feelings that are caused. 

The thing here to emphasize however, is not to take a black-and-white fundimentalist view of religiosity and look at it from a shallow perspective of "haram vs the morally righteous" when there is more here at play and more to learn wisdom from.

Control over the self, the ego and carnal desires is something that Islam emphasizes just like Judaism as much as Buddhism etc. There is something incredibly liberating once you get yourself to the point where lustful thoughts are few and brief. You are able to focus on the deeply spiritual things and gain more knowledge of things and experience things in your consciousness that you perhaps never realized you could. Try to be mindful about things, try to seek your own mind analytically and find the routes of your problems. One you exercise this kind of understanding, you are able to put it to use. 

The thing is less about the act itself, than being about what state your mind, body, soul and heart become when it comes to everything in your daily life - and how it can (in it's worst) cause massive friction within yourself. This conversely will affect your deen, and your connection with Allah saw - but must fundamentally be understood between the religious and secular worldviews as a shared problem that both face. Lust itself can be heaven and hell depending on the context. As for sex itself, once you're married, having as much sex as you both desire shouldn't be any issue. 

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Resolve brother resolve. Mind and will power is way stronger than any desire or emotions. 

Next time you get overpowered by the desires leading you to Masturbate, get up from the bed, and loudly say Audhu Billah ... and Bismillah...

Your so far losing to temptation would be over in three episodes.

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On 1/1/2019 at 1:58 PM, King said:

Here is a secret for you: Almost everyone masturbates [in my humble opinion].  Try your best but realize [IMHO] its not a battle most can win all the time.

Bruh how do you know. I believe everyone has when they were not religious but when you are religious. You realise its a major sin.

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