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When I was little I dreamed of adopting a child. 

But I'm not sure now as I've learnt things about adoption during my studies that make me a little hesitant. 

There are many Iraqi orphans and if I would adopt a child I would like to adopt one of them, but it's very difficult if not impossible to do that in Iraq. Also, I live in the west which further complicates the matters. 

I'll leave everything to Allah SWT. If it's meant to be it will be and if it's not it won't. 

I have a friend who adopted two children, but she's European and adopted Asian babies. 

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39 minutes ago, ShiaMan14 said:

Well, if I adopt a girl I will teach her and I will even teach my own biological daughter to wear modest clothes in front of their father but as to covering her hair, I personally think that it is not necessary because your adopted daughter who has lived with you since her early childhood (e.g, since she was a toddler) is not much different from your biological daughter ( I mean she has no attraction to you).

There is a verse in Quran which says that very old women who are not attractive dont have to cover their hair so maybe we can conclude that when we are sure that there is no sexual attraction, there is also no need to have hijab (covering hair)...but I am not sure that my conclusion is Islamically acceptable or not.

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2 hours ago, shadow_of_light said:

Well, if I adopt a girl I will teach her and I will even teach my own biological daughter to wear modest clothes in front of their father but as to covering her hair, I personally think that it is not necessary because your adopted daughter who has lived with you since her early childhood (e.g, since she was a toddler) is not much different from your biological daughter ( I mean she has no attraction to you).

There is a verse in Quran which says that very old women who are not attractive dont have to cover their hair so maybe we can conclude that when we are sure that there is no sexual attraction, there is also no need to have hijab (covering hair)...but I am not sure that my conclusion is Islamically acceptable or not.

I think if you breastfeed a baby girl, she would be mahram to your husband. 

But you also have to consider relations with extended family.

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15 hours ago, Carlzone said:

I have a friend who adopted two children, but she's European and adopted Asian babies. 

No offence but problem with westerners adopting South Asian children is their western culture is very unislamic. I was born and grew up in Europe too and I am of pakistani Shia background. I hope you meant she adopted Far Eastern children as their culture tends to be more in line with western mentality. No Pakistani parent would want their children adopted by a westerner. It wouldn't happen. 

Edited by Murtaza1

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16 hours ago, Carlzone said:

Sister, I don't want to share it as I don't want to weaken their chances of getting parents. They really need to be taken care of. 

You are quite right. I understand you. We should not reduce their chance of being adopted. I know they have many unmet emotional needs.

My aunt in-law told me that once they spoke with these children and asked them what their greatest wishes are. They said that they wished to have grandparents and be invited to their relatives' homes.

Sometimes I think if these little kids wake up at midnight because they are afraid, thirsty or hungry, who will meet their needs? I know there are nurses in the centres where they live, but do they have enough time for spending some time for each one of these kids?! Do they kiss them before they sleep and tell them stories?!

When babies or toddlers are vaccinated and have pain, who takes care of them?

Some of these kids have been abused by their parents and have never exprienced motherly or fatherly love. They have not enjoyed their childhood and it is very sad.

 

 

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On 12/30/2018 at 12:42 PM, Shan786 said:

Although noble, but it is a tricky situation. The child will remain na mehram for either of the parent. 

Ayatollah Sanei صانعی who is a marja' believes that adopted child is mahram to his parents (providing that he has lived with them since his early childhood) because there is no sexual attraction between them.

Edited by shadow_of_light

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1 hour ago, shadow_of_light said:

You are quite right. I understand you. We should not reduce their chance of being adopted. I know they have many unmet emotional needs.

My aunt in-law told me that once they spoke with these children and asked them what their greatest wishes are. They said that they wished to have grandparents and be invited to their relatives' homes.

Sometimes I think if these little kids wake up at midnight because they are afraid, thirsty or hungry, who will meet their needs? I know there are nurses in the centres where they live, but do they have enough time for spending some time for each one of these kids?! Do they kiss them before they sleep and tell them stories?!

When babies or toddlers are vaccinated and have pain, who takes care of them?

Some of these kids have been abused by their parents and have never exprienced motherly or fatherly love. They have not enjoyed their childhood and it is very sad.

 

 

The suffering that these kids experience is indescribable. 

Even kids who became orphans later are devastated. 

Here's an Iraqi girl who lost both her parents. Check minute 9:00 in the clip. Look at her face. She's completely destroyed. May Allah SWT ease her burden! 

Warning! Turn off the sound as there's music in the clip. And the girl is not wearing hijab.

 

 

 

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On 12/31/2018 at 4:52 AM, ShiaMan14 said:

I think if you breastfeed a baby girl, she would be mahram to your husband. 

But you also have to consider relations with extended family.

True..but again, if a women is unable to have kids, how can she breastfeed them.

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On 12/31/2018 at 7:18 PM, Carlzone said:

The suffering that these kids experience is indescribable. 

Even kids who became orphans later are devastated. 

Here's an Iraqi girl who lost both her parents. Check minute 9:00 in the clip. Look at her face. She's completely destroyed. May Allah SWT ease her burden! 

Warning! Turn off the sound as there's music in the clip. And the girl is not wearing hijab.

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing this video. I didnt understand her story because I cannot understand spoken Arabic but it is clear that she had a difficult life. If she has relatives, they must be in contact with her and not leave her alone.

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7 hours ago, ShiaMan14 said:

There are medications available to help women lactate.

I am not sure, but I think Ayatollah Sistani (ha) also has a fatwa along similar lines.

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