Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Guest sailoon

Why are muslim women ready to marry a much older man?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Guest sailoon

I visited the marriage site muslima.com right now. I was surprised at how many women put 10-15 years older as acceptable age range! About a third of women on there say 5 years max, most say 10 years max and some say 15 years max. Why do young muslim women agree to marry a man 10+ years older? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Says who? I personally think it's a bad idea, but that is because I came across marriage statistics during my university studies.

Fact is: The closer a couple is in age the higher the likelihood is that their marriage will last. 

But on the other hand there are always exceptions. In my own family we have females marrying 10 years older men, but we actually have the other extreme as well. When I was in Iraq last month I found out something that absolutely shocked me. I have a male relative who is married to a 17(!) year older woman and they are happy and have lived their whole life together and have 4 kids. Thing is - he (!) looks older than her. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seems like islam, just like the statistics I came across at the university, supports picking someone about the same age as oneself:

 

"Does Islam focus on the sameness of age for a girl and a boy who wants to marry each other?

Yes, being about the same age is one of the factors considered for matching of wife and the husband. Of course, girls naturally reach adolescence 4 years sooner than boys. This difference between men and women is natural and physiologic accordingly, it is focused in Islam that the spouse should be either of the same age or the age gap between them should not be more than 4 years and since the tension and pressure on women are more than that on men during the struggle of life it is preferable that the age of woman be less than that of the husband."

 

https://www.al-islam.org/articles/womans-dignity-words-amir-ul-muminin-ali-ibn-abi-talib-abbas-ali-shameli

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's cultural.

There is a belief that age = wisdom. The man is meant to be head of the household so he needs to be at least somewhat wise. 

Older men tend to be more established in their careers, so desire for financial stability is also a factor. (I'm not talking about gold diggers, just women who desire to have one less problem.) 

There is also the biological fact that men often prefer younger women due to fertility and health. Women have to consider this fact, or they might limit their marriage options down to none. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam, i as a muslim woman always wanted to get married with someone in my age or 1 to 5 years older not more than that. It was natural, without knowing that islam and research has recommended people to get married with someone in similiar age. I always used to get marriage proposal through family from younger man may be 2 or 3 years younger not sure.  I rejected all of them. i think this made some of my family relatives angry at me and they made digusting lies about me. So finally at old age i have married somone my age and i am happy. 

Edited by learn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think women in general (not only muslims) marry older men because men mature later. So a 20 year old woman is often more mature than a 20 year old man. So she goes for someone who's more mentally mature and capable of dealing with marriage. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/6/2018 at 3:43 AM, starlight said:

Because age is just a number.

You got that right. It has also to do with age discrimination. There are all types of prejudices in every society. We cannot determine exact statistics but i find younger men seem to seek short pleasures and some even harass older women. I learned about this recently from a lady on Muzmatch. I had to console her and offered her my guidance to overcome the problem. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Men who are older are have more experience, hence wiser and they are more established financially, hence they have more resources they can spend to protect their wives and kids.

Simple as that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Imams have told me that I have to have a marriage arranged for me 

I live in the US... good luck with all that because I don't even know how to meet women anymore in the secular world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, GD41586 said:

Imams have told me that I have to have a marriage arranged for me 

I live in the US... good luck with all that because I don't even know how to meet women anymore in the secular world.

Imams? Are you speaking with Sunni or Shi'a people? Plus, you don't have to have a women arranged for you. You just have to know Muslims and then after a while such as month or two you can ask if they have any sisters or know anyone that can help you find a wife. Insha'Allah.

Edited by aaljibar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it depends on the couple. My parents have a 15 year age difference. Theyve been married for over 30 years. My one family member is married to someone 25 years younger. They are the happiest couple I know.

I on the other hand, have only a six year age difference between my husband. I would have never been able to go for someone significantly older (10 years +) unless I married closer to 30. I never wanted to be with a significantly older man because I’d want my future children to have a younger father. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/8/2018 at 11:12 AM, Amrinkasim said:

Girls marry older guys bcz they are mature than girls. 

He can stop her being wrong and handle the situation maturely 

She feel secure. 

in Iran women before marriage say they want an older guy because he will be mature enough but after marriage say men never grown & they are always like kids that become old :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sailoon
On 12/6/2018 at 4:53 AM, Carlzone said:

Says who?

Says them. Go on the site and have a look. TBH i am surprised too. It's a case of saying one thing and doing another. These women will eventually marry a guy closer to their age. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...