Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
ShiaChat.com
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Do unmarried shia girls wear wedding rings?

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

Guest teach me

I know a girl at uni who I am interested in. I have a mountain to climb to get in touch with her dad cause I dont know the family and I am not from her country and I am just a no one loser student ..... but its worth a shot. The girl used to look at me when I wasn't looking ...... so I think she liked me. Today I saw her ring finger has a ring!!!!! I was upset. My shia friend said it happens cause they dont want unwanted attention. Is it true? Another said it aint so. I cant ask her cause she doesnt speak to boys and I dont want a slap from her dad. I think sje has stopped looking at me as well.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Also,

1. Don't be so rude to yourself calling yourself a loser. If you have good honourable intentions for the girl then that's fantastic. 

2. Don't think about ethnicity. Real shias don't care about your ethnicity. Actually what I'm seeing amongst relatives and friends is that the younger generation doesn't care about ethnicity. Almost all my friends, siblings and relatives are marrying from other nationalities/ethnicities and I think that's absolutely beautiful and in harmony with Shia islam  :)

I wish you the best of luck InshaAllah! May Allah SWT bless you with the best possible spouse for you InshaAllah. And if it's not her - then it's someone else. Don't give up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest teach me

You give me hope!!!! This girl is mega conservative. She dresses in jilbaab everyday and never ever speaks to boys. There is a group of them like that. Then why will she have a wedding at uni? I am gonna do some asking in her community about her status ..... How do I tell her dad I like her if never speak to her? ....... I cant say she stares at me when she think I am unawares. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
3 hours ago, Guest teach me said:

I know a girl at uni who I am interested in. I have a mountain to climb to get in touch with her dad cause I dont know the family and I am not from her country and I am just a no one loser student ..... but its worth a shot. The girl used to look at me when I wasn't looking ...... so I think she liked me. Today I saw her ring finger has a ring!!!!! I was upset. My shia friend said it happens cause they dont want unwanted attention. Is it true? Another said it aint so. I cant ask her cause she doesnt speak to boys and I dont want a slap from her dad. I think sje has stopped looking at me as well.

Firstly, you are not a "no one loser student".

Secondly, just because she was looking at you that doesn't mean she likes you. 

Thirdly, I wear a ring, but not on my ring finger, and I've never met a girl who literally wears a ring to stop people recommending men to her. It might just be a matter of society and the community you live in. 

Are you doing the same course as this girl? Why don't you approach her and maybe try and find out if she's married, if not, tell her (in a non-creepy way) that you're interested in getting to know her for marriage and you'd like to speak to her father. Or you could ask some of her friends if she's married, to save you from the awkwardness. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest teach me

I one time approached a girl and asked to speak to father. She said yes and then ..... the father rejected me and scolded me because the girl told him about me. It was a big no no in her family. This girl with the ring is from a more strict family. yeah she used to look at me a lot ... I am confused. sometimes i wish i didnt know her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
12 minutes ago, aaljibar said:

Just go and ask what's the deal is she going to ruin your life if she says no I have a husband.

The brother seems to be shy and sensitive. Also it seems like he values the girl a lot. Thus making his post pretty cute. InshaAllah things work out for him and everyone else in similar circumstances. 

Edited by Carlzone
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 12/5/2018 at 6:02 AM, 2Timeless said:

Why don't you approach her and maybe try and find out if she's married, if not, tell her (in a non-creepy way) that you're interested in getting to know her for

Lol these Muslim love stories in uni never happen, I'm still yet to see a guy approach a Muslim woman at uni. They're all fairy tales tbh.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
12 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Lol these Muslim love stories in uni never happen, I'm still yet to see a guy approach a Muslim woman at uni. They're all fairy tales tbh.

Lol I expected to see that too. I don't think there's many fairy tales of that sort, in the sense that they end up getting married, but I have seen some people who look like they're dating or something, and the girl would often be hijabi and the guy Muslim. Idk Maybe that's just my perspective and I may be completely wrong. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 12/5/2018 at 5:58 AM, Guest teach me said:

You give me hope!!!! This girl is mega conservative. She dresses in jilbaab everyday and never ever speaks to boys. There is a group of them like that. Then why will she have a wedding at uni? I am gonna do some asking in her community about her status ..... How do I tell her dad I like her if never speak to her? ....... I cant say she stares at me when she think I am unawares. 

There are a lot of reasons as to why she stares at you. 

(1) She finds you attractive and can tell you're Muslim. I personally find most conservative hijabis very strange at uni, they look right into your soul.

(2) She probs notices you a lot, if for some reason you always end up in the exact same location as her (cafe or library).

(3) You subconsciously think she looks at you just because you're into her. There are many other girls who stare at you the same amount of time but you just don't notice.

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
6 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

but I have seen some people who look like they're dating or something, and the girl would often be hijabi and the guy Muslim. Idk Maybe that's just my perspective and I may be completely wrong. 

Maybe your uni is different, but yeah quite a lot of Muslims casually have coffee/lunch with hijabis at my uni, and I've found out later that they end up getting arranged marriage to someone else.

I've never seen any guy approach a super conservative girl, it just doesn't happen lol.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
4 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I've never seen any guy approach a super conservative girl, it just doesn't happen lol.

Yep lol. 100% accurate. I don't think that's the greatest though. They should approach conservative girls, but in a respectful manner. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...
Guest teach me

So there is an update .. and its not good!!

I managed to get her dad's number but didn't have any person to call him. My parents wont do it because they are not the same race and and uncomfortable calling an so on ... they will only call if they are sure his family is interested.

I got my Christian friend an older guy who is good on the phone to call just to ask the father if he minds if I call him myself or get some older Shia person who he recommends like an alim to call. it turns out she is single but the father didn't know english well so he gave the phone to her! my friend kept saying no I don’t want to speak to the girl. I was listening on the call. she got embarrassed and dropped the call right away when my friend said there is a guy who wants to get to know your dad for your hand. we tried it again and he gave it to another family member who did the same thing ..... then he called us and shouted lots of abuse and insults about my friend's mom!! called her bad names. my friend is hurt because he was trying to be respectful and polite.

thanks God we never got far enough to say who I was  .... they didnt let us get that far! what a disaster. I have to move on now. to be fair the call reception was bad .. so maybe they misunderstood but there was no need to curse his mum. his kids are religious so I wasnt expecting him to have a foul mouth.

to all you guys who said talk to her yourself, you see how much trouble I would have been? Muslim community is backward.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest teach me

oh to add on last thing ..... the answer to my question is YES. unmarried Shia girls do wear engagement and wedding rings. there is another girl in my classes who wears hijab and she has started wearing a ring ... to keep away male attention. I know her well and she said she isn't married.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 4/17/2019 at 2:09 PM, Guest teach me said:

oh to add on last thing ..... the answer to my question is YES. unmarried Shia girls do wear engagement and wedding rings. there is another girl in my classes who wears hijab and she has started wearing a ring ... to keep away male attention. I know her well and she said she isn't married.

Salaam, 

Which country do you live in?

Link to post
Share on other sites

For a couple of months, I used to wear a fake ring on my finger because I was recovering from anxiety and depression and wasn’t ready to get married... people were hinting at their sons and I just wasn’t mentally or emotionally healthy for a relationship. Also, weird creepy men were hitting on me in public. I guess they felt how vulnerable I was and they wanted to take the opportunity to be weird. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 12/5/2018 at 7:25 AM, Guest teach me said:

I know a girl at uni who I am interested in. I have a mountain to climb to get in touch with her dad cause I don’t know the family and I am not from her country and I am just a no one loser student ..... but its worth a shot. The girl used to look at me when I wasn't looking ...... so I think she liked me. Today I saw her ring finger has a ring!!!!! I was upset. My Shia friend said it happens cause they don’t want unwanted attention. Is it true? Another said it aint so. I can’t ask her cause she doesnt speak to boys and I don’t want a slap from her dad. I think sje has stopped looking at me as well.

From my own experience, it may be true. I know of religious sisters that wear fake engagement rings in public places so that random brothers wouldn’t approach them and the situations wouldn’t end up somehow inappropriate. I realised that it is more prevalent in the West, than in the “East”, due to more relaxed cultural norms. If I was you, and you know where she lives, I would firstly call her father and arrange a meeting. I wouldn’t try to do anything through her because her father may take an insult to that. You may ask her if she’s married though. One way or another, Inshallah things will be solved out soon. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...