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Guest WhyPrayersoLongMakeShort

Sister cheated on her husband

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Guest WhyPrayersoLongMakeShort

Asalaam alaikum,

I come from a fairly conservative and religious family, but recently something happened which has turned the dynamics upside down. My sister cheated on her husband and got pregnant with another man's baby about 7 months ago. Since then I believe she has divorced her husband or the divorce is in process - I don't really know anything 100%, because everything is on the hush hush. Obviously this is a very embarrassing situation for our family, and they don't want anyone in the community knowing all the details, so they don't really discuss it.

Now, I was born and raised here in the US (all of my siblings as well), so premarital sex, dating, drinking...etc all this stuff is not new to me. It's just the atmosphere in America. That's why I don't really have anything personal against my sister's "Baby's Daddy". He was just living the way he was taught. In his culture, there is nothing wrong with having a child out of wedlock, or at least conceiving and later on getting married. Whatever right?

However, the problem is, or where it involves me, is that my parents are pushing this new guy on me, to teach him about Islam, and to lead him in Prayer,  to teach him Islamic history about the Prophet and Imams...etc. whenever I am visiting, because I am the eldest and most knowledgeable about Islam. And actually, my mom gave him my number and one day he called me out of the blue asking about the Usool/Feru-ideen. It was weird. I honestly don't want to. I don't want any part of this. It just seems very fake to me to be having a baby out of wedlock, but at the same time to pray or fast. I told my mother several times to guide him and my sister to an Alim at another mosque in another state perhaps, but she is too worried that some how the news of this infidelity will get back to our community.

And, I am not sure what to do here. Like what are my Islamic responsibilities in this situation? As far as I can tell, I don't think I have any. I don't wish anything bad upon them (my sister and her BF), but I just want to live my own life - without them in it.

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Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum 

Having a child out of wedlock is the most selfish act of the parents.  The child is hurt by society, parents (shown resentment by step-parents & parents) and is forever scarred for life.  Even by religion!

Islamic society should be strict and scorn the parents for doing this grave sin!  If people find out good, it should be a lesson for others to stay far far away from this family shattering, destructive and abhorrent act.

A few minutes of pleasure a lifetime of consequences.

M3 Salamah, Fe Amin Allah 

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I think the OP is actually implying that they too have no interest in religion and advising someone is problematic as they then have to study what they wish to stay away from.

I doubt it is difficult to give advice. to guide someone.

Hey bro, I am finding this situation difficult, however as you have realised a mistake and wish to part take a new path, I suggest a visit to this site. www.al-islam.org and spend the next few years learning. If you have any questions you can join Shiachat and discuss issue that you may have. However side note - you will both burn in hell. :byecry:

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On 11/16/2018 at 10:08 PM, Guest WhyPrayersoLongMakeShort said:

Asalaam alaikum,

I come from a fairly conservative and religious family, but recently something happened which has turned the dynamics upside down. My sister cheated on her husband and got pregnant with another man's baby about 7 months ago. Since then I believe she has divorced her husband or the divorce is in process - I don't really know anything 100%, because everything is on the hush hush. Obviously this is a very embarrassing situation for our family, and they don't want anyone in the community knowing all the details, so they don't really discuss it.

Now, I was born and raised here in the US (all of my siblings as well), so premarital sex, dating, drinking...etc all this stuff is not new to me. It's just the atmosphere in America. That's why I don't really have anything personal against my sister's "Baby's Daddy". He was just living the way he was taught. In his culture, there is nothing wrong with having a child out of wedlock, or at least conceiving and later on getting married. Whatever right?

However, the problem is, or where it involves me, is that my parents are pushing this new guy on me, to teach him about Islam, and to lead him in Prayer,  to teach him Islamic history about the Prophet and Imams...etc. whenever I am visiting, because I am the eldest and most knowledgeable about Islam. And actually, my mom gave him my number and one day he called me out of the blue asking about the Usool/Feru-ideen. It was weird. I honestly don't want to. I don't want any part of this. It just seems very fake to me to be having a baby out of wedlock, but at the same time to pray or fast. I told my mother several times to guide him and my sister to an Alim at another mosque in another state perhaps, but she is too worried that some how the news of this infidelity will get back to our community.

And, I am not sure what to do here. Like what are my Islamic responsibilities in this situation? As far as I can tell, I don't think I have any. I don't wish anything bad upon them (my sister and her BF), but I just want to live my own life - without them in it.

Best thing is that ask your sister to leave Islam :ranting:. Nothing said and done when men or women try to make illegitimate baby. Being in US does not allow your sister any amentsy about code of conduct. Across the globe we have drinking,  night clubs so this is lame excuse.  

Sorry about your thinking that you are saying that I donot mind it. Ok enjpy your own philosophic version 0f islam.

It is your life but please donot try to be Islamic.

 

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