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anonymousshia

I lost someone I love, then I almost died

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2 hours ago, anonymousshia said:

I couldnt get over her for over 2 months. its been 4 months now and its still very hard, although now I can be happy, and control my thought and emotions. but now I also don't have friends and I don't trust easily anymore. 

Believe me, you need time. Indulge yourself in some useful activities, something you love. Everything will be fine I. A. 

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People change boy,thats a fact

Like my parents always say,”Dont let yourself be distracted by friends,they will leave and forget you in a few years” and it is true

My best friend and I dont talk much anymore,we used to be together since Childhood and its been about 10 or 11 years

we still play some games together sometimes but we dont talk alot like we used to before,we dont go out together anymore.

People change

Edited by Natsu

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On 11/6/2018 at 10:34 AM, anonymousshia said:

sellam alaikum wa.wb,

im anonymous for a reason.

I used to love someone so dearly, looked up to her, she was like family, like my sister, our souls were one, our thoughts were one, we would text day and night, we were the bestest of friends ever, everyone knew us for our friendship too. I don't think anyone can understand the love I had for her. we completed 7 years of friendship together, we were together every step of the way. she was there for me for every hardship I was going through, and I for her. even though I had felt that I was always the one putting effort into the friendship and even though I took so many risks for her, I loved her a lot and remembered that she too had sometimes taken many steps for me.

I couldn't bear the thought of us ever separating, so once I graduated, I got her to come to university with me, we were inseparable. I always visioned her in my future goals

 gradually, the both of us started becoming different, although we were still close, I started to feel us becoming different, we were just growing to become more mature, our studies were important to us, and by then we had welcomed a new friend with us. it became the three of us, meeting every morning, laughing, joking, making amazing unforgettable memories. 

but suddenly, every thing was changing, our mindsets were changing, I felt as though they were distancing themselves from me. they were muslims too but sunnis, it didn't matter to me, we had always respected each others views. but then all of a sudden, they would try to convince me that this was wrong and that was false and I just kept saying that this was what I believed in. they became closer and closer. But gosh, I loved her so so so much it was just hard for me that she was being different. everyone realised it too, that she was being different. even her own sisters. 

but I kept patient and let it get through. three months later, we had such a good day went out, everything was amazing and brilliant, but the next day, everything just went so fast. looking back at It now, nothing yet everything makes sense. I won't mention what had happened, but suddenly everything was happening so fast, we didn't speak, there was hateful words said, painful stabs in the heart. there were three people I count lose in my life, I thought life would be dead without them and that is my mother, aunty and that old friend. when I lost that old friend and she separated from me, I lost it, I wasn't thinking right, I remember praying fajr went to university and cried in the loudest and longest time ever, I was praying to Allah to help me. 

it was the first week of my semester for my new course. everything was going so badly. I couldnt take it any longer, I couldnt take the pain any longer. I couldnt see my life without her, I just couldnt. 

I was outside in the cold windy and very rainy day in a thin long skirt and shirt, and a drenched wet scarf, I wanted to feel any other pain besides the one I was feeling inside. my head started throbbing, the world started spinning, so I took 2 painkillers and swallowed them, the pain didn't go, so I took another 2, waited and waited, still didn't go so I took another 3, still didn't go, I was crying and crying and then I saw her, I called out to her but I don't think she heard me and if she did, she just ignored my cries. my heart ached so badly I couldnt take it any longer, I didn't realise that I swallowed 8 strong pills. 

I ended up unconscious in the university and woke up in the hospital, had many tests taken and was completely yellow. I had almost died if someone hadn't seen me dead on the floor and saved me. the very night that I got released from the hospital I was so excited to see the so many texts from my old friend and her sisters that I thought they were worried about me, loved me as much as I loved them and now everything was going to be okay, but little did I know that wasn't the case, I got messages from them saying how shameful I should be, that what I did was innapropriate by swallowing all the pills, that I shouldn't see them again, and so many worse messages. I was completely broken. completely. I was all alone in this world. alone. and broken. 

I fought so hard to get her back. but nothing. nothing but more hurt came. 

how could I forget 7 years of friendship and love. how? how could I forget the memories when hers were the only happy memories I had. if I forgot and let go of her, then I had to let go of everything that came with her, the school we went to, the mutual friends we shared, the sport memories, the excursions, the yearly gifts, the birthdays everything. I lost 7 years. 

I only had Allah swt. only. it was so so hard and no one knew what I was going through. no one. I couldnt get over her for over 2 months. its been 4 months now and its still very hard, although now I can be happy, and control my thought and emotions. but now I also don't have friends and I don't trust easily anymore. I prefer to be alone. I still talk to people and be nice and sympathetic, but I won't be friends with them.

Allah swt is always with us, he is so merciful and everything happens for a reason. sometimes we wish and yearn to know what the reason might be, and you will. just be patient and it will all work out.

Salam

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that pain

I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you, and it upsets me how those "friends" of yours left you alone when you had to go through all that and instead of comforting you they decide to make you feel more hurt. People are just cruel and selfish nowadays

That is the sad reality of this world. No matter how closely attached you are to someone, they'll eventually drift and go their separate ways. I know how it feels to be lonely and to have no friends, I've been there before. It's really hard and you feel like no one cares about you and you start getting these really crazy thoughts. But subhanallah, everything happens for a reason, and despite the fact that you've been so deeply attached to her for so long, Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى obviously removed her from your life for a good reason, probably because He has many plans for you ahead

Sister, I am so happy that you survived alhamdullilah, for it shows that Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى loves you; He removed those toxic friends from your life out of His love and mercy; He wants you to become stronger and now you're able to control your thoughts and emotions which is a good sign; it means that your iman is increasing as well as your love for Allah. No one can easily go through that pain, and you've already made it this far, so don't give up, ever.

Insha Allah everything will be easy for you, don't despair for every difficulty there comes ease

fee amanillah xx

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On 11/6/2018 at 2:03 PM, Natsu said:

My best friend and I dont talk much anymore,we used to be together since Childhood and its been about 10 or 11 years

I would have preferred it to be this way rather than ending up in hospital. whenever I see her, my heart aches and I get panic attacks. 

On 11/6/2018 at 2:03 PM, Natsu said:

People change

unfortunately, Its a sad reality for some

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16 hours ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

I'm sorry for what you went through. Solitude is good, learn to be alone and not depend on people to be there for you. People come and go all the time, no one will be there forever, no matter how long you've known them.

that is exactly how I am now. I prefer to be alone and I like it. it was very hard in the beginning, sometimes still hard, but everything happens for a reason

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On 11/6/2018 at 10:34 AM, anonymousshia said:

sellam alaikum wa.wb,

im anonymous for a reason.

I used to love someone so dearly, looked up to her, she was like family, like my sister, our souls were one, our thoughts were one, we would text day and night, we were the bestest of friends ever, everyone knew us for our friendship too. I don't think anyone can understand the love I had for her. we completed 7 years of friendship together, we were together every step of the way. she was there for me for every hardship I was going through, and I for her. even though I had felt that I was always the one putting effort into the friendship and even though I took so many risks for her, I loved her a lot and remembered that she too had sometimes taken many steps for me.

I couldn't bear the thought of us ever separating, so once I graduated, I got her to come to university with me, we were inseparable. I always visioned her in my future goals

 gradually, the both of us started becoming different, although we were still close, I started to feel us becoming different, we were just growing to become more mature, our studies were important to us, and by then we had welcomed a new friend with us. it became the three of us, meeting every morning, laughing, joking, making amazing unforgettable memories. 

but suddenly, every thing was changing, our mindsets were changing, I felt as though they were distancing themselves from me. they were muslims too but sunnis, it didn't matter to me, we had always respected each others views. but then all of a sudden, they would try to convince me that this was wrong and that was false and I just kept saying that this was what I believed in. they became closer and closer. But gosh, I loved her so so so much it was just hard for me that she was being different. everyone realised it too, that she was being different. even her own sisters. 

but I kept patient and let it get through. three months later, we had such a good day went out, everything was amazing and brilliant, but the next day, everything just went so fast. looking back at It now, nothing yet everything makes sense. I won't mention what had happened, but suddenly everything was happening so fast, we didn't speak, there was hateful words said, painful stabs in the heart. there were three people I count lose in my life, I thought life would be dead without them and that is my mother, aunty and that old friend. when I lost that old friend and she separated from me, I lost it, I wasn't thinking right, I remember praying fajr went to university and cried in the loudest and longest time ever, I was praying to Allah to help me. 

it was the first week of my semester for my new course. everything was going so badly. I couldnt take it any longer, I couldnt take the pain any longer. I couldnt see my life without her, I just couldnt. 

I was outside in the cold windy and very rainy day in a thin long skirt and shirt, and a drenched wet scarf, I wanted to feel any other pain besides the one I was feeling inside. my head started throbbing, the world started spinning, so I took 2 painkillers and swallowed them, the pain didn't go, so I took another 2, waited and waited, still didn't go so I took another 3, still didn't go, I was crying and crying and then I saw her, I called out to her but I don't think she heard me and if she did, she just ignored my cries. my heart ached so badly I couldnt take it any longer, I didn't realise that I swallowed 8 strong pills. 

I ended up unconscious in the university and woke up in the hospital, had many tests taken and was completely yellow. I had almost died if someone hadn't seen me dead on the floor and saved me. the very night that I got released from the hospital I was so excited to see the so many texts from my old friend and her sisters that I thought they were worried about me, loved me as much as I loved them and now everything was going to be okay, but little did I know that wasn't the case, I got messages from them saying how shameful I should be, that what I did was innapropriate by swallowing all the pills, that I shouldn't see them again, and so many worse messages. I was completely broken. completely. I was all alone in this world. alone. and broken. 

I fought so hard to get her back. but nothing. nothing but more hurt came. 

how could I forget 7 years of friendship and love. how? how could I forget the memories when hers were the only happy memories I had. if I forgot and let go of her, then I had to let go of everything that came with her, the school we went to, the mutual friends we shared, the sport memories, the excursions, the yearly gifts, the birthdays everything. I lost 7 years. 

I only had Allah swt. only. it was so so hard and no one knew what I was going through. no one. I couldnt get over her for over 2 months. its been 4 months now and its still very hard, although now I can be happy, and control my thought and emotions. but now I also don't have friends and I don't trust easily anymore. I prefer to be alone. I still talk to people and be nice and sympathetic, but I won't be friends with them.

Allah swt is always with us, he is so merciful and everything happens for a reason. sometimes we wish and yearn to know what the reason might be, and you will. just be patient and it will all work out.

Salaam, very sorry for what you went through, but know this that you are not alone and that these types of things have happened to others. 

There were these 2 people (who were siblings of each other) that I was best friends with since birth, heck our parents were friends before we were born. We were all pretty much the same age and were best friends until the age of  30-31 (imagine, that's more than 30 years). They were practically like my family. Then I kid you know out of the blue one of them just cut off all contact with me, and then eventually so did the other one. The first one just stopped talking to me without any message, notification, or any reason at all. With the second person after a few back and forth messages I unfortunately lost my patience and lashed out and angrily asked why they were being so distant and the second one too just cut off contact.

Now I know people say just forget them and move on, but no it's not that easy, I know it first hand, these type of things can have a huge psychological effect on someone. People you have known for your whole life, people who were practically family just cutting off contact with you without any logical reason or goodbye or whatever, can lead to anger, hate, confusion, pain, a huge variety of emotions. One can be left wondering "What exactly did I do wrong?" or if I am being punished by them or Allah SWT or what could have happened to the person that you cared about etc etc, the "what could have's" can just eat away your brain over and over, it is deep mental anguish. Especially when I tried to re-contact them, apologizing if I did anything wrong, or offering help if anything happened to them, or at least to get a proper farewell / goodbye and getting no response in return, I know it can drive you crazy.

It is very tough to move on, especially when a lot of people tell you over and over "you'll get over it, don't be weak etc etc", no it's not that easy. I know you are going through a very tough time, but this I can promise you, it DOES get better and easier, the pain doesn't fully go away but it gets easier with time. Someone told me this once and I believe it's a very good point:

Every person you are in contact with has a purpose in your life, whether you perceive it or not, as well as your presence in their life. This could be life long or temporary companionship, OR YOU can be a test for them or they can be a test for you. When that person's purpose or worth is no longer needed in your life Allah SWT will remove that person and you have to believe that despite all the pain and misery you are experiencing, Allah SWT Knows better and that it is better for you. Who knows maybe that person will reappear, but if not then Allah always Knows better, and Allah SWT never burdens anyone with more than what they can bear, and that those people who are meant to be in your life and more importantly that DESERVE to be there will be there inshAllah. 

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I know how tough it must be for you, like all the memories. But trust me, you'll make new friends and will share new memories. Look forward, because Allah will replace those friends with even better and more sincere ones. This world is pretty big and I'm sure a lot of great potential friends exist.

Exercise a lot or play some sports, trust me it'll make you feel much better. You need to release all that energy in a healthy way

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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On 11/6/2018 at 9:34 PM, anonymousshia said:

I only had Allah swt. only. it was so so hard and no one knew what I was going through. no one. I couldnt get over her for over 2 months. its been 4 months now and its still very hard, although now I can be happy, and control my thought and emotions. but now I also don't have friends and I don't trust easily anymore. I prefer to be alone. I still talk to people and be nice and sympathetic, but I won't be friends with them.

Who is better companion than Allah (AWJ) and Ahlebait a.s ? Besides, you should not take one example and assume that whole humanity is deceitful as such. Rather you should be hopeful that you will get good people around you if not in friends than in your family. You should not weigh all people in same category, colors are different and so are fingers. But be cautious whom to choose as friends. Do not look out for beautiful faces but sincere hearts. Do not look those who backbite but those who find your faults and correct it. For further advises look up Ameerul Momineen Imam Ali a.s quotes in Nehjul Balagha.

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