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Guest dry eyes

I haven't cried since childhood and would like to be able to

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Guest dry eyes

Hello all.

I've been dealing with an issue and I would like your advice. I'm nearly 21, and I haven't cried since I was 14. A person normally cries when they feel sadness, indignation, or joy. I've somehow replaced the first two emotions with rage, and I've lost the ability to feel any significant happiness, as if there is a cap or limit. I'm not depressed, or a sociopath, and I haven't experienced any trauma. I figure this is a spiritual issue. What can I do to cry again and be a more emotional person? From what little I know, I apparently have a wicked heart due to excessive sin. I can see how since I used to have problems with praying and masturbation (I don't anymore). But how come other people are the same and could cry just normally? Should I just see a therapist?

Thanks in advance, any advice would be appreciated 

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12 hours ago, Guest dry eyes said:

Ashvazdanghe, thank you for replying. I took that test and got a 40. Not good but nothing dangerous. I don't think I have issues with empathy, which is what I think was primarily tested.

With shame, I unfortunately did not cry from these videos, instead of sadness I feel anger.

 

It is a bad thing, a very bad thing. We're sick in the heart.

What are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with someone if they don't cry, most men I know do not cry for years.

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Some men never cry in front of other people. They were taught that crying means you are weak. It's okay to cry in majlis because nobody would blame you for that. 

1 hour ago, rkazmi33 said:

 I only cry when I am alone. This year, I have been crying almost every single day. 

Allah knows our needs and why we cry. May He solve all our problems. 

12 hours ago, Ralvi said:

Dua Kumayl is also excellent, Arabic or English or whatever language. That should be recited weekly and soon enough you’ll finally cry. I pray 

Dua Kumayl makes me cry, too. The Arabic is beautiful and the English translation is so expressive.

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43 minutes ago, Guest dry eyes said:

Thank you for the useful advice, everyone. I didn't think the solutions were this straightforward, glad such a community exists.

never lose hope bro. we're all here for you in sha Allah :) keep your head up and be positive. Allah loves you and everything happens for a reason.

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Hello its a threat about measuring your emotions , beside that we are in your service ,the thing that brings back tear to eyes is remembering Karbala  & Ashura specialy martyrdom of Hazrat Ali asghar (as)  

http://english.khamenei.ir/news/4210/The-martyrdom-of-Hazrat-Ali-Asghar-as-narrated-by-Ayatollah

Martyrdom of Ali Asghar, 6 month son of Imam Hussain, on Ashura -

Martyrdom of Ali Asghar A.S in karbala. (Documentary). Must Watch

Baby Abdullah Ali Asghar

Shahadat e Hazrat Masoom Ali Asghar as In Urdu || Tareekh e Karbala || Mehrban Ali

Ali Abdolmaleki - Ali Asghar

Oh my child By: Nouri Sardar and Ali Fadhil (English Marsia)

 

Edited by Ashvazdanghe

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hanging around too many SJW's?.

Who said you have to cry, or did you read one of those narrations that claim, if one does not cry it is due to an excess of sin?. Narrations are a generalisation, think of them as one arrow aiming at multiple personalities. It isn't aimed at you specifically, it is aimed at the whole, perhaps there is a person who is tyrannical and has lost their emotional well being in their despotism, and so such narrations hope to enlighten such persons.

If you really want to cry, find a female that you like, and tell her to reject you. Then you can come here and make a new post about how much you cannot stop crying.

 

Edited by monad

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Guest dry eyes

Ashvazdanghe, thank you for replying. I took that test and got a 40. Not good but nothing dangerous. I don't think I have issues with empathy, which is what I think was primarily tested.

With shame, I unfortunately did not cry from these videos, instead of sadness I feel anger.

On 11/3/2018 at 5:16 AM, King said:

I don't cry for years and years.  It isn't a bad thing, some people just don't cry easily, it doesn't mean they don't get emotional.

It is a bad thing, a very bad thing. We're sick in the heart.

On 11/3/2018 at 6:40 AM, monad said:

hanging around too many SJW's?.

What?

On 11/3/2018 at 6:40 AM, monad said:

Who said you have to cry, or did you read one of those narrations that claim, if one does not cry it is due to an excess of sin?.

That's the spice

On 11/3/2018 at 6:40 AM, monad said:

Narrations are a generalisation, think of them as one arrow aiming at multiple personalities. It isn't aimed at you specifically, it is aimed at the whole, perhaps there is a person who is tyrannical and has lost their emotional well being in their despotism, and so such narrations hope to enlighten such persons.

While I disagree with your (I'm assuming) opinion, I think that if this were true, this arrow would be aimed at me. And so I ask for help.

On 11/3/2018 at 6:40 AM, monad said:

If you really want to cry, find a female that you like, and tell her to reject you. Then you can come here and make a new post about how much you cannot stop crying.

If something like that happened I would just be angry at the girl and myself

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8 hours ago, Guest dry eyes said:

Hello all.

I've been dealing with an issue and I would like your advice. I'm nearly 21, and I haven't cried since I was 14. A person normally cries when they feel sadness, indignation, or joy. I've somehow replaced the first two emotions with rage, and I've lost the ability to feel any significant happiness, as if there is a cap or limit. I'm not depressed, or a sociopath, and I haven't experienced any trauma. I figure this is a spiritual issue. What can I do to cry again and be a more emotional person? From what little I know, I apparently have a wicked heart due to excessive sin. I can see how since I used to have problems with praying and masturbation (I don't anymore). But how come other people are the same and could cry just normally? Should I just see a therapist?

Thanks in advance, any advice would be appreciated 

engage yourself in helping people out and see people's problems and try to solve them. Inshallah, you will soon find a way out.

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Guest dry eyes
5 hours ago, King said:

What are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with someone if they don't cry, most men I know do not cry for years.

If you have 5 hours to spare, please check this out.

 

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we don't have five hours to spend on someone telling us that we should become cry babies. How about you find out what books he read and read those books.

This case is more related to you being wanting to fit in with the crowd of weepers during a particular period during the year.

You could do it quickly, start cutting some onions.

Edited by monad

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51 minutes ago, monad said:

we don't have five hours to spend on someone telling us that we should become cry babies. How about you find out what books he read and read those books.

This case is more related to you being wanting to fit in with the crowd of weepers during a particular period during the year.

You could do it quickly, start cutting some onions.

This person is religious, and is rightfully finding it odd that he is not crying. We should all strive to cry, it is necessary for HUMANS, men don’t get an exception. It is necessary to cry for Imam Hussein. Op my suggestion is pretend cry, sometimes I can’t cry in a majalis and Iam ashames. So I’ll wail loudly at least, and try. But when I come home and listen to some heart reaching lectures I cry. Recently I also have not been crying and it’s honestly worrying. You should let go of whatever is holding you back, and realize that we are given so much and the least we can is at least Mataam for Hussein. It doesn’t only have to be for the months of Muharram and safar, it should be on our minds always. Do it for that Bibi. For  syeda, who is waiting for all her Shi’a...

Edited by Ralvi

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Pray to god sincerely, and seriously lay it out to him all the mistakes you made and ask for forgiveness. Ask Allah to soften your heart and to cry more. I’ve asked for that and most certainly my heart is slowly but surely softening. 

Dua Kumayl is also excellent, Arabic or English or whatever language. That should be recited weekly and soon enough you’ll finally cry. I pray 

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12 hours ago, monad said:

we don't have five hours to spend on someone telling us that we should become cry babies. How about you find out what books he read and read those books.

This case is more related to you being wanting to fit in with the crowd of weepers during a particular period during the year.

You could do it quickly, start cutting some onions.

We don't have time for your sarcastic and useless remarks. if you're not saying something nice or useful, then dont say anything at all. I honestly dont know what you benefit from commenting with sarcasm.  Be of a little help brother, and dont make comments like this cause believe me, what comes around goes around, and you dont want to be in a position that this brother is in. so shut up... sorry not sorry

On 11/3/2018 at 12:22 AM, Guest dry eyes said:

Hello all.

I've been dealing with an issue and I would like your advice. I'm nearly 21, and I haven't cried since I was 14. A person normally cries when they feel sadness, indignation, or joy. I've somehow replaced the first two emotions with rage, and I've lost the ability to feel any significant happiness, as if there is a cap or limit. I'm not depressed, or a sociopath, and I haven't experienced any trauma. I figure this is a spiritual issue. What can I do to cry again and be a more emotional person? From what little I know, I apparently have a wicked heart due to excessive sin. I can see how since I used to have problems with praying and masturbation (I don't anymore). But how come other people are the same and could cry just normally? Should I just see a therapist?

Thanks in advance, any advice would be appreciated 

sellam brother, whats up? 

I met someone coincidentally earlier in the year and he had the exact same situation as you, he opened up to me saying that he hasn't been though anything traumatic, and doesn't feel as though he is depressed yet he cannot cry and will not feel sad but instead angry, so I tried to help in anyway I can.

at first I suggested he go to a psychologist, he went, kind of helped to speak about the issue itself. but didn't help him to cry

so after that, I told him to listen to the Quran (since he can't read every night), specifically Sarah al mulk by Abdul basit. So he did, first week nothing, second week, he started feeling happiness and felt peaceful, but said to me, I still can't cry

so I told him lets take it a step further, and start listening to dua kumayl by abdulhey gamar hazeen. so he did and first week nothing, second week his emotions of happiness were a lot more common, he was a lot more peaceful and he didn't react with anger anymore. and by the next month with listening to the Quran, praying dua, doing as much good deeds as he can, sharing love and kindness to people at uni and with his family, he shed his first tear and it felt amazing for him that he started crying from joy. 

if that doesn't work brother, then I suggest go to a doctor, because it could be a tear duct problem. I will pray for you tamam? :) dont lose hope, and keep up your spirits. 

you have taken a big step forward by admitting this issue, and you clearly want to become a better person, Good on you bro!

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On 11/3/2018 at 4:27 PM, Guest dry eyes said:

I took that test and got a 40. Not good but nothing dangerous. I don't think I have issues with empathy, which is what I think was primarily tested.

With shame, I unfortunately did not cry from these videos, instead of sadness I feel anger.

Salam it shows that you are healthy, but your soul is like a dry well , you just feel angry  like as mukhtar (ra) that used his anger to avenge a portion of blood that dropped in event of Karbala , it takes time to you can cry for it beside doing prayings & Duas ,you must increase your knowledge about Ahlulbayt  by reading & researching even in sources of their enemies ,your research about them will bring water your dried soul that at result you can cry because of your knowledge about them specially reasearch about Imam hussain (as) & Imam Mahdi (aj) & less known Imams from 7th Imam to 12th Imam (aj) 

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Guest dry eyes
On 11/4/2018 at 4:52 AM, Ralvi said:

This person is religious, and is rightfully finding it odd that he is not crying. We should all strive to cry, it is necessary for HUMANS, men don’t get an exception. It is necessary to cry for Imam Hussein. Op my suggestion is pretend cry, sometimes I can’t cry in a majalis and Iam ashames. So I’ll wail loudly at least, and try. But when I come home and listen to some heart reaching lectures I cry. Recently I also have not been crying and it’s honestly worrying. You should let go of whatever is holding you back, and realize that we are given so much and the least we can is at least Mataam for Hussein. It doesn’t only have to be for the months of Muharram and safar, it should be on our minds always. Do it for that Bibi. For  syeda, who is waiting for all her Shi’a...

 

On 11/4/2018 at 4:56 AM, Ralvi said:

Pray to god sincerely, and seriously lay it out to him all the mistakes you made and ask for forgiveness. Ask Allah to soften your heart and to cry more. I’ve asked for that and most certainly my heart is slowly but surely softening. 

Dua Kumayl is also excellent, Arabic or English or whatever language. That should be recited weekly and soon enough you’ll finally cry. I pray 

 Thank you for your kind response, friend. You seem to have experience with this issue so I appreciate the advice.

On 11/4/2018 at 5:10 AM, Ruqaya101 said:

sellam brother, whats up? 

I met someone coincidentally earlier in the year and he had the exact same situation as you, he opened up to me saying that he hasn't been though anything traumatic, and doesn't feel as though he is depressed yet he cannot cry and will not feel sad but instead angry, so I tried to help in anyway I can.

at first I suggested he go to a psychologist, he went, kind of helped to speak about the issue itself. but didn't help him to cry

so after that, I told him to listen to the Quran (since he can't read every night), specifically Sarah al mulk by Abdul basit. So he did, first week nothing, second week, he started feeling happiness and felt peaceful, but said to me, I still can't cry

so I told him lets take it a step further, and start listening to dua kumayl by abdulhey gamar hazeen. so he did and first week nothing, second week his emotions of happiness were a lot more common, he was a lot more peaceful and he didn't react with anger anymore. and by the next month with listening to the Quran, praying dua, doing as much good deeds as he can, sharing love and kindness to people at uni and with his family, he shed his first tear and it felt amazing for him that he started crying from joy. 

if that doesn't work brother, then I suggest go to a doctor, because it could be a tear duct problem. I will pray for you tamam? :) dont lose hope, and keep up your spirits. 

you have taken a big step forward by admitting this issue, and you clearly want to become a better person, Good on you bro!

Thank you for your response, I am touched by your empathy and concern. Ralvi also recommended Dua Kumayl, I'll be sure to do that. Thanks again!

On 11/4/2018 at 9:44 AM, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam it shows that you are healthy, but your soul is like a dry well , you just feel angry  like as mukhtar (ra) that used his anger to avenge a portion of blood that dropped in event of Karbala , it takes time to you can cry for it beside doing prayings & Duas ,you must increase your knowledge about Ahlulbayt  by reading & researching even in sources of their enemies ,your research about them will bring water your dried soul that at result you can cry because of your knowledge about them specially reasearch about Imam hussain (as) & Imam Mahdi (aj) & less known Imams from 7th Imam to 12th Imam (aj) 

That is a good idea, I didn't look at it that way. I should do more research to help myself.

On 11/4/2018 at 4:04 PM, rkazmi33 said:

Don't worry about it. I am saying from my personal experience, my one sister who never cried a lot during majlis, she has been so kind and harmless to me. While my other sister, who cries a lot, is really like the reincarnation of hitler, she is so so cruel. In fact, it makes me so angry to see her crying in majlis, that I have stopped attending majalis with her. Everytime I see her cry, I just want to ask her why is she crying when she acts like shimr and Yazeed in real life. Also, I used to cry a lot during majalis when I was younger. I have noticed that when I deal with abuse, it makes me more angry and it's harder for me to cry even in majlis. I cry when I am alone, but it's very hard for me to cry in front of people, because I get the feeling that all of them are my enemies and seeing me cry only makes them happy. That's why I don't want to give them the happiness to see me cry. I only cry when I am alone. This year, I have been crying almost every single day. 

Looks like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment. Mine aren't worth much, but I'll pray for you. 

On 11/4/2018 at 5:23 PM, Hameedeh said:

Some men never cry in front of other people. They were taught that crying means you are weak. It's okay to cry in majlis because nobody would blame you for that. 

InshaAllah I will.

Thank you for the useful advice, everyone. I didn't think the solutions were this straightforward, glad such a community exists.

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As you mentioned your interest in seeing a therapist, I would like you to know that you can learn therepeutical techniques yourself and apply them on yourself instead of seeing a therapist.

Its called "Neuro Linguistic Programming" NLP. NLP has many techniques to help you think more positively, get rid of negative thoughts and change your behaviour.

Some of the main NLP techniques which I think you will find useful are called "Reframing", "Modeling", "Anchoring" and "Pressupositions". By using these simple techniques you can replace negative thoughts into positive ones and model yourself around people that posses positive attributes that you desire.

NLP is an excellent tool. Just google it or find a book on NLP at your library or book shop. Here is a good website of NLP techniques. I hope this helps you inshallah:

https://www.nlp-techniques.org/nlp-techniques-neuro-linguistic-programming-techniques/key-nlp-techniques/nlp-technique-amplify-feelings/

Edited by Murtaza1

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Don't worry about it. I am saying from my personal experience, my one sister who never cried a lot during majlis, she has been so kind and harmless to me. While my other sister, who cries a lot, is really like the reincarnation of hitler, she is so so cruel. In fact, it makes me so angry to see her crying in majlis, that I have stopped attending majalis with her. Everytime I see her cry, I just want to ask her why is she crying when she acts like shimr and Yazeed in real life. Also, I used to cry a lot during majalis when I was younger. I have noticed that when I deal with abuse, it makes me more angry and it's harder for me to cry even in majlis. I cry when I am alone, but it's very hard for me to cry in front of people, because I get the feeling that all of them are my enemies and seeing me cry only makes them happy. That's why I don't want to give them the happiness to see me cry. I only cry when I am alone. This year, I have been crying almost every single day. 

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