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In the Name of God بسم الله

What’s a belief people from your community/country of origin have that you hate?

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eloquence

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(Not entirely sure if I phrased that right lol) 

There’s a LOT I could say here but one thing that really bothers me is the idea of not marrying outside families/tribes/castes. It’s so backwards. Random aunties (that I’m not related to) have told my mother they don’t like that I didn’t marry someone from our family. I’m not going to comment on how I feel about ‘cousin’ marriage but like ...who are you? Wait til they find out it wasn’t arranged lol

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Just now, eloquence said:

Thank you for replying I thought no one would :cryhappy:

I agree and I feel like that’s a major cause of a lot of problems we have in our communities 

you ever have those moments, where someone says something so relatable and you have a gazillion things to say about it but then all of a sudden you forget. ahahah I think thats everyone

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9 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

curious? why should a saved marry a sayedah? is it more blessed or??

Well there would only be pros from that. We shouldn’t underestimate the blood of the prophet. And it keeps the lines purer and going forth. (Alvis, Hussain, etc etc) 

But like I said better than that is just marrying a shia(inside and out)

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum

  • I hate how they refer to people with Down Syndrome as Mongolians and that they are handicapped.

The term Mongolian idiocy and similar terms have been used to refer to a specific type of mental deficiency associated with the genetic disorder now more commonly referred to as Down syndrome. The use of these terms has largely been abandoned because of their offensive and misleading implications about those with the disorder.

English physician John Langdon Down first characterized the syndrome that now bears his name as a separate form of mental disability in 1862, and in a more widely published report in 1866.[1][2][3] Due to his perception that children with Down syndrome shared facial similarities with the populations that Johann Friedrich Blumenbach described as the "Mongolian race", Down used the term mongoloid.[4][5] Mongolism and its Pathology was the title used by W. Bertram Hill for a published study in 1908[6] and the term mongolism was used by psychiatrist and geneticistLionel Penrose as late as 1961.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongolian_idiocy

  • I hate how they refer to all maids as Sri Lankians.  She could be from the Philippines, Ethiopia, Nepal but they refer maids as Sri Lankiya.
  • I hate how they have a superior complex over Syrians.  "If I know that is a syrian working at a store, I won't shop their anymore."  "Why don't they go back to their country?"  "They are taking all our jobs, at a lower price."

Allah kamil 3aqlina

 

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22 hours ago, eloquence said:

(Not entirely sure if I phrased that right lol) 

There’s a LOT I could say here but one thing that really bothers me is the idea of not marrying outside families/tribes/castes. It’s so backwards. Random aunties (that I’m not related to) have told my mother they don’t like that I didn’t marry someone from our family. I’m not going to comment on how I feel about ‘cousin’ marriage but like ...who are you? Wait til they find out it wasn’t arranged lol

This mindset is so passé but there are still so many otherwise educated, modern and outward-looking people who subscribe to this kind of thinking. What riles me is the variant of the same, according to which non-sayyed men can't marry sayyed women because even if it might not be haram, it is still blah blah blah. I'm incensed whenever someone suggests that.

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Two related to fallacies. Maybe they used to be true, but not in my lifetime.

1. Only lazy people are poor, and rich people obviously deserve their wealth.

2. If you work hard, you can live a comfortable and stable life. 

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14 minutes ago, notme said:

Two related to fallacies. Maybe they used to be true, but not in my lifetime.

1. Only lazy people are poor, and rich people obviously deserve their wealth.

2. If you work hard, you can live a comfortable and stable life. 

In many cases it happens exactly the contrary.

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The list is too long, but the thing that annoys me most is

how women especially married women are treated.

Hypocrisy in every single action and every single word that comes out of people's mouth.

The cunning and street smart, manipulative and deceitful nature of the people and the fact that they are very proud about it instead of feeling any guilt or remorse.

The fact that these people are always always talking about akhlaq but they are so cruel and sadistic people compared to western people.

The fact that divorce is considered a taboo, and people put so much effort in keeping women in abusive relationships while few women are treated like princesses and queens and they are allowed all kinds of affairs, but men's ghairat is only hurt when it comes to divorce. Otherwise their women can act like prostitutes, their ghairat is not effected at all.

The fact that there's no respect for sacred relations. The relation with brother-in-law, and now relations between father and daughter, mother and son, even brother and sister is not considered sacred. This is the most disgusting and repulsive part of my culture.

The fact that people constantly push woman to have kids in a bad marriage, and after she does have kids, she is no longer allowed to get divorce because it will have bad effect on kids. The kids are constantly used to emotionally blackmail women, and mothers end up hating their kids because of this. I already hate my kids who haven't come into this world. 

The fact that people are so racist and so superficial and shallow. The kind of special treatment good looking people receive and other people are expected to act like slaves for the good looking people. Most people follow the good looking people blindly and they cannot distinguish between right and wrong. Older people acting like slaves to young people of the opposite gender just to get a little bit of attention. It's disgusting since this culture puts so much emphasis on respect for elders: again hypocrisy in every action. 

The fact that these people don't feel any shame while twisting the religion and religious teachings to make them according to their backward culture. 

The fact that they put so much emphasis on akhlaq, meeting people and spending hours with them, while they are constantly taunting each other and they have animosity for each other in hearts and they will never help their relatives if they become homeless or if they go to jail. 

The fact that they expect women to be successful in careers and also best at home making and raising children. 

The fact that they hate autistic, shy, reserved, timid and introvert people. They have no respect for the fact that different people have different personality types. They expect everyone to become social butterfly when they get older. 

The fact that they constantly judge others on the basis of clothes, car, house. Even if they are going for grocery shopping, they dress up. 

I also don't like their matam style. Men take off their shirts to show off their bodies (it's disgusting that they use matam to get attention from women) and women, it looks like   they always wanted to dance, but they were never allowed to, so they use matam to fulfill their inner desires. It was always very annoying for me to watch, but I wanted to respect their method of azadari. But now since they criticize my method of doing azadari, I feel that I can comment on their method of azadari. 

I feel that people from my culture have very high sexual desires, the intention of all their actions are somehow connected to opposite gender, so they don't understand people who have low sexual desires, and they label them as gay, lesbians, pedophiles. They often say western people are cold and are like robots, I now understand why they say that. 

The fact that in my culture, image in front of other people is soooooooooooo important. Parents want their kids to be successful in everything because they want to have a good image. They cover up abuse and all negative parts of culture because they are so worried about image. If anyone says anything negative about their culture, they become defensive and try to justify everything instead of acknowledging that there is a problem. 

The fact that people in my culture are so competitive. Yes, they become more successful because of this but they remain terrible human beings even after they get education and prosperity. The unsuccessful people are treated like insects and they really think that successful and wealthy people are more pious. 

The fact that people put so much emphasis on charity and they are too nice to guests but they are terrible to their own family members. In fact, people who are nice to their own family members are considered selfish and self-absorbed, because they only care about themselves and their family members. 

I am sure I still have a lot of things, I will keep adding them. 

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0ne local belief/superstition l found offensive as a child and still do is 'je-sus was god-on-Earth'. At the early time l thought of it as pointless, misleading idea(suggestion, now), yet now l use the rhetorical question: God cannot command at a distance? or God cannot see at a distance? [l know Quran reveals differently on the second one.]

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There's always a lot (and I agree with much of what has been said already) but one thing I hate (but also understand from their perspective) is the rampant growth of relativism and negligence, self-righteousness and hypocrisy - in society in general, it's just too common. :(

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On 10/27/2018 at 1:31 PM, hasanhh said:

0ne local belief/superstition l found offensive as a child and still do is 'jesus was god-on-Earth'. At the early time l thought of it as pointless, misleading idea....

Weirdly, I've heard that used as an argument towards Jesus' divinity before :hahaha: aka "my god can manifest as a man but yours can't, therefore mine is greater". I mean no disrespect towards Christians but that argument is stupid and I see it more limiting on God itself if it did manifest as a person (in the literal way Christians believe) 

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