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Mut'ah taboo needs to end

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34 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

. If two couples really feel that they should enter into a temporary marriage for a few years, then turn it into permanent, then what's the big deal

Brother,

That would be great if the scenario you stated actually happens to the majority. But this almost never plays out in reality. We all know that the majority of mutah relationships almost never lead to permanent marriage, especially not a mutah marriage that’s been temporary for two or three years. Most mutah relationships last a few months. 

36 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

gain, you seem to be biased and refuse to look at the wider picture. Early permanent marriage can also be disastrous if you end up with the wrong spouse. I know so many cases of women who've ended up with abusive husbands, it's because they got married straightaway and never got to know the guy beforehand. You would rather have a mut'ah marriage which doesn't work out than a permanent marriage that turns out to be a disaster. 

I’m not advocating that people rush into marriage without talking to their potiential spouse properly or getting to know them and their character, and how they respond to situations. Islam doesn’t even advocate that. Not knowing your spouse before marriage is due to culture, not of Islam. You can still get to know someone in a halal manner properly without mutah to see if someone’s the right match for you. 

39 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

What's the logic behind this? Polygamy is allowed in Islam, and you can have multiple wives at the same time (even our prophets did). This doesn't guarantee that you'll be dissatisfied with your permanent spouse in the bedroom.

There are well known studies which show that both men and women who have had more sexual partners are more likely to cheat. Particularly women. For women, studies have shown that women with even two past sexual partners is likely to cheat on her spouse. In fact, those who remain virgins until marriage, both men and women, are the most likely out of everyone to be not only satisfied in the bedroom, but rate their own marriages as happier and more fulfilling. There are tons of studies that show talk about in depth. 

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7 hours ago, Sumerian said:

These are hypothetical scenarios which once again, do not change the core ruling. Obviously the word of the Imam (as) is binding upon those who can do it.

Your example works the other way around for perm marriage, if a society has 70 men and 30 women, how will all the men get married despite the Shari'ah pushing it? These examples have no meaning brother.

Once again, this is a general ruling which is subject to conditions and context. 

Precisely, brother. I am showing you 2 out of 3 cases where «extremely mustahab mut3ah» can cause harm to subjects of a society.

The 70/30 case is the exception to the rule I have to give you that, this shows that abstinence may also be a must for Muslims, whether male or female, in given situations. 

 Is there no place for abstinence in Islam ? 

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20 minutes ago, realizm said:

Precisely, brother. I am showing you 2 out of 3 cases where «extremely mustahab mut3ah» can cause harm to subjects of a society.

The 70/30 case is the exception to the rule I have to give you that, this shows that abstinence may also be a must for Muslims, whether male or female, in given situations. 

 Is there no place for abstinence in Islam ? 

Of course there are scenarios which can change the situation for practically any ruling in Islam. The problem is brother that you orginally claimed it makes no sense, but that just is the core ruling without any subjection to a strange scenario.

As for your question, whether there is room for it or not it doesn't seem to make a difference, because a great deal of men will be forced into abstinence in such a case anyway.

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12 hours ago, abuhaydar said:

I agree.. @ali_fatheroforphans

forget the kids... there are middle aged/older divorced/widowed women that no man would look at for perm. marriage... what do they do? they have needs and desires just like everyone else...

 

These women can marry middle aged/older divorced men or widowers.

 

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22 minutes ago, shadow_of_light said:

These women can marry middle aged/older divorced men or widowers.

 

Sure, absolutely.

Mutah is an available and halal option, not a requirement for anybody. It puts a lot more power into the hands of the wife than permanent marriage does. It has a lot more flexibility with regard to financial support and household authority. Obviously it isn't ideal for everyone, but it's every bit as legitimate as permanent nikah. 

 

--- 

Side note: when I was a single divorcee, a much younger man asked me to marry him in mutah. Honestly, I was disgusted at the idea. I really don't see what an older woman would gain from a typical very young husband. In my opinion, being alone is much better. All these men and young women talk about widows and divorcees as if they are desperate for any available human companionship, and I don't think that's the case. 

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It's like basic economics. If you artificially restrict the supply, the market will find ways bypassing the restrictions (the so-called 'black market') to meet the excess demand caused by the deficiency in supply.

Desires are a constant. Restrict the halal options, and haram by-ways will immediately crop up.

I am witnessing the hook up culture among the youth first hand at my university (yes, the Muslim youth from religious, practicing families included), it being a residential campus. Believe me or not, our children are doing it, behind our backs, and more often than we would like to think. We are living in a world post the twentieth century 'Sexual Revolution'.Like it or not. I may sound blunt and brazen, but this is how things are.

You have the available cards in your deck. Make your move wisely. Let us please educate our children.

Edited by AbdusSibtayn

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On 10/23/2018 at 9:02 PM, starlight said:

Just for the sake of discussion, wouldn't early permanent marriage be a better solution? What benefits do you think mutah has over permanent marriage?  

i am looking for termporary marriage. I am 20 years old and I have desires. I cannot commit to a permanent marriage due to family and culture. Also my goals and ambitions donot allow me to be seriously comitted to someone. hence, mutah. Again it not be a one night stand. I want to find a halal boyfriend to spend time with. if it works I might covnert it to permanent, or we both go our own ways.
Permanent marriage, the involvement of families, responsibilties and comitting "forever" is not my cup of tea right now.

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5 minutes ago, awkwardregular10 said:

i am looking for termporary marriage. I am 20 years old and I have desires. I cannot commit to a permanent marriage due to family and culture. Also my goals and ambitions donot allow me to be seriously comitted to someone. hence, mutah. Again it not be a one night stand. I want to find a halal boyfriend to spend time with. if it works I might covnert it to permanent, or we both go our own ways.
Permanent marriage, the involvement of families, responsibilties and comitting "forever" is not my cup of tea right now.

@starlight lol seems as if she's asking you to find her a guy for mutah.

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and majority of them are khameneis follower...I wonder if yasir al habib is right about himbeing batri? or not? I don’t know

I wouldnt take a single word habib says seriously if I were you. He is a joke of a human, just like tawidi and the rest of the clowns.

Also please do not become like those who convert and become over zealous and then drops religion all together 3 months down the lane. 

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السَّلآمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ الله وبَرَكآتُه 

Hope you are fine إِنْ شَاء َ اللَّه @ali_fatheroforphans

What I have understood with the problem of mutah being recognised as an indecent act nowadays is due to the misuse of this act, What do you reckon? @skyweb1987 @Salsabeel

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On 10/23/2018 at 4:31 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Mut'ah is no doubt considered a taboo in our communities and homes. I feel that this negative attitude many people (even Shias) have when it comes to mut'ah is very unhelpful. We make it very hard for people who are genuine and wish to enter into a mut'ah contract. 

Why do we create this narrow-minded culture where it's just frowned upon? It's not upon us to judge anyone. 

We're also becoming very unrealistic with the solutions we offer as a community. Almost all Muslims I know are getting influenced by this 'dating culture' and it's not easy especially when the pressure from the West is growing. Muta'ah can be a potential solution. 

So yeah, I don't wanna talk much about the pros and cons, but wanted to send out a message - don't judge anyone for choosing the halal option. 

Sometimes i question the answer to this question. I think we have to respect people's culture. We cant paint everyone with the same brush. We cant force our way into other people's homes wives and sisters. If people feel the need to do muta then it should be a personal choice and not a force. 

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I may differ yaisr al habib on certain issues but give him credit of actually spreading the true message of Shia which is being hidden because of taqqiya
while I believe in taqqiya but there should be someone who would tell us  which others hide
plus u might havent listen to his others lectures apart from tatbirs on Aisha omar hafsa and osman..he knows how to impart knowledge ...just look into his lectures discussing other matters like tawassul muta etc

There are far more knowledgeable, respectable and creditable people I would rather listen to, such as Seyyed Sistani. 

The true message of Shias is clear for whoever researches it, some things does not need to be spoken in order for it to be the truth, anyone who does their research knows the truth regardless of yasir putting a youtube video online with exaggerated and vulgar rhetoric. Many of my colleagues that I am sitting next to right now are orthodox Christians, when they tell me that they believe that God is 3 or that God is a human, I could call them mushriks and tell them they will burn in hell or I try and explain my point of view to them in a respectable manner. Which one do you think will be more effective?

True Islam is not the path of hate and vulgar language. That is not similar to the nature of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and we are his representatives on Earth and in dunya. 

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and majority of them are khameneis follower...I wonder if yasir al habib is right about himbeing batri? or not? I don’t know

this guy jumbling words & give it out of his throat but doesn't has any idea what he says , he & his fans says who is against them is a Batri while they don't know the real meaning  what they say they call Imam Khamenei as Dajjal too even Imam Mahdi (aj) reappears today they will say  you are not Imam Mahdi (aj) because you don't reappear as we want 

the definition below is classic definition of them but current Baris believe that Imam must choose by a council & they don't believe to  Taqyia that is same as Shirazi cult belief  

Batriyya (Arabicبترية‎, adjective form Batri) is a Muslim sect from Zaidiyyah,[1] some Shia clerics may use this term to refer to any shiite mixing the allegiance to the Imams and the allegiance to Abu Bakr and Umar.

Among those who used the term were Fadil Al-Darbandi,[2] Muhammad Al-Sanad[3] and Yasser Al-Habib.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batriyya

Imam Baqir (as):Imam Mahdi (aj) will go to Kufa.  there is sixteen thousand people from Batrya who are equipped with weapons against the Imam; they are the Qur'an reciters and religious scholars whose forefathers are covered with a lot of callus because of too much worshiping and their faces become yellow because of  Night prayer and hypocrisy  covers whole of their body. They cry out one voice: O son of Fatima! Return from the way you come, because we do not need you. Imam Mahdi (عليه السلام) will raise his sword against them behind the city of Najaf from noon on Monday to evening and kills everyone of them.

 غیبه طوسی، ص 283؛ بحارالانوار، ج2، ص589؛ اثبات الهداه، ج3، ص516.

Gheybah Tusi , p 283 ; Bihar'Al'Anwar v2 p 589 , Ithabt 'al Huda v3 p 516

Imam Ali (عليه السلام) said they are 10 thousands

ارشاد مفید، ص364؛ اعلام الوری، ص431؛ بحارالانوار، ج52، ص328.

Irsahd Mofid p 364 , A'lam'Alvara p431 ;BiharAl anwar v52 p 328

http://wiki.ahlolbait.ir/بتریه

http://www.ghadeer.org/Book/1585/249476

https://hawzah.net/fa/Magazine/View/114/4678/36236/شک-نکنید-امام-زمان(عج)-اینان-را-

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lol..how can u misuse muta when we alll know its for sex?

Some guys promise women a future but asks for mutah first and then bails after.

Unfortunately many guys use it in a dishonest way. If both eligible partners are on the same page then whatever they do is between them but usually one is trying to fool the other, or sometimes the later fools themselves, maybe both.

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On 10/23/2018 at 11:31 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Mut'ah is no doubt considered a taboo in our communities and homes. I feel that this negative attitude many people (even Shias) have when it comes to mut'ah is very unhelpful. We make it very hard for people who are genuine and wish to enter into a mut'ah contract. 

Why do we create this narrow-minded culture where it's just frowned upon? It's not upon us to judge anyone. 

We're also becoming very unrealistic with the solutions we offer as a community. Almost all Muslims I know are getting influenced by this 'dating culture' and it's not easy especially when the pressure from the West is growing. Muta'ah can be a potential solution. 

So yeah, I don't wanna talk much about the pros and cons, but wanted to send out a message - don't judge anyone for choosing the halal option. 

I don't know why people are making it a taboo. Once you're saying Islam isn't a religion it's a way of life then what's the solution for sexual desires if the person can't go for permanent marriage. If the solution is mutah then why aren't it's being discussed even in our community. To fulfill sexual desires by committing a haram is wrong thing but sex itself isn't wrong thing, we need to discuss the stuff within community. The major problem is we don't discuss about this sort of stuff, we think that it's a wrong stuff to discuss with youth. This is mere idiocity.

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1 hour ago, Hussain1122 said:

I don't know why people are making it a taboo. Once you're saying Islam isn't a religion it's a way of life then what's the solution for sexual desires if the person can't go for permanent marriage. If the solution is mutah then why aren't it's being discussed even in our community. To fulfill sexual desires by committing a haram is wrong thing but sex itself isn't wrong thing, we need to discuss the stuff within community. The major problem is we don't discuss about this sort of stuff, we think that it's a wrong stuff to discuss with youth. This is mere idiocity.

It is not just about youth. Our communities are full of focusing everything on the youth. People of all ages rightfully enjoy mutha, especially with younger females, this is something that doesnt get heard about, mainly because older men are private and quite gentlemen about it but it needs more promotion in our communities so everyone can enjoy it. Jazakalah. 

Edited by Murtaza1

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5 hours ago, BowTie said:

:gossip:

Enlighten me.... or maybe not. I am better off being in the dark about this. 

Edited by starlight
Typo

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