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In the Name of God بسم الله

Negative thinking patterns of lonely people

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10 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

4) You have this view that meeting like-minded people is very difficult. You'll always end up convincing yourself that this city is not for you, with lame excuses. You need to challenge this irrational belief because great people exist in every corner of the world, and it's just you who will find excuses to be alone.

I agree with all the points above except this one. There’s nothing wrong with moving to another city, because every city has its own unique culture. You can’t tell me that LA is not easier to find artistic people because that’s where the action is. Some cities increase the likelihood of finding like minded individuals. 

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10 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

People who've been lonely for a long period of time tend to form many negative patterns of thinking which hinders their ability to form new relationships. This is something which isn't really taught to anyone, especially those who have formed this negative pattern of thinking - as it becomes part of our subconscious brain.

I loved your post, thank you for sharing this!

But I also think that these things apply to people with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. Being too anxious or feeling hopeless when it comes to forming (platonic in this situation) relationships is a symptom of said mental illnesses. 

I kind of struggle when it comes to meeting people, and because I'm so awkward sometimes (and I supposedly have a permanent frown), people admit to me later in our friendship that they thought I was a stuck up and entitled brat lol.  I think people need to realise that there's more than whats on the surface, and this post highlights it, thank you very much.

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10 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

I loved your post, thank you for sharing this!

But I also think that these things apply to people with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. Being too anxious or feeling hopeless when it comes to forming (platonic in this situation) relationships is a symptom of said mental illnesses. 

I kind of struggle when it comes to meeting people, and because I'm so awkward sometimes (and I supposedly have a permanent frown), people admit to me later in our friendship that they though I was a stuck up and entitled brat lol.  I think people need to realise that there's more than whats on the surface, and this post highlights it, thank you very much.

oh my gosh ahaha, I can relate to you but they dont think im stuck up, most people just think im a very smart person (which believe me I am not, im just hardworking) and they end up coming to me for help and little do they know. They get to know me and I end up being called and I quote "you're so weird... and the weird thing is that you're weird in a unique way". no joke, thats what most people say to me in that exact line. and I mean most people. sometimes it just gets freaky. :D 

hmm, I agree with the post and what the message is trying to get across as well, but also some people prefer to be alone.... is that a bad thing?

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15 minutes ago, Ruqaya101 said:

hmm, I agree with the post and what the message is trying to get across as well, but also some people prefer to be alone.... is that a bad thing?

Nope it's not. I like being alone alot of the time. Some people are just horrible to be around lol. But there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. The two do not equate to eachother. You'll find that some people who spend alot of time alone are the happiest, and don't ever feel lonely. On the other hand you'll also find people with the biggest social circles, who come across as extroverted and extremely happy, are the loneliest and are unable to express that to the people who actually care about them. It's all subjective really. Some people love being alone but hate being lonely, some people hate being alone because it makes them feel lonely etc.

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32 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

Nope it's not. I like being alone alot of the time. Some people are just horrible to be around lol. But there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. The two do not equate to eachother. You'll find that some people who spend alot of time alone are the happiest, and don't ever feel lonely. On the other hand you'll also find people with the biggest social circles, who come across as extroverted and extremely happy, are the loneliest and are unable to express that to the people who actually care about them. It's all subjective really. Some people love being alone but hate being lonely, some people hate being alone because it makes them feel lonely etc.

That's true. Many times I just don't feel any sort of inner motivation or desire to be with the people I see around me. I don't mean to express myself superior or arrogant in any way, but many times I feel that some people are just not really worth spending time and building relationships with. A lot of the times I kinda prefer just being to myself. In fact, I've never really been involved in any serious close friendships and circles in some time now (currently in late teens). However, what I also noticed that happens with me is that occasionally when I do find people that I develop admiration for and think of highly, many times I just can't closely connect with them when trying to build some kind of a friendship lol.

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6 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

kind of struggle when it comes to meeting people, and because I'm so awkward sometimes (and I supposedly have a permanent frown), people admit to me later in our friendship that they thought I was a stuck up and entitled brat lol.

Yeah that's alright, I too don't smile  much when I meet new people, and tend to be hell serious. But once I get to know a person I'm a total goof.

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6 hours ago, Ruqaya101 said:

hmm, I agree with the post and what the message is trying to get across as well, but also some people prefer to be alone.... is that a bad thing?

It isn't really a bad thing because I know many people who love being alone.

This post is for aimed at people who want to form new friendships but have an attitude which prevents them.

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Knowing a few lonely people lately, I can totally relate. May Allah swt give all lonely people reprieve. It’s deifhtiely tough for them because loneliness becomes a vicious cycle for them ensues in unwarranted bitterness and pointing fingers etc. JazakAllah for a nice post!!

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1 minute ago, Irfani313 said:

Knowing a few lonely people lately, I can totally relate. May Allah swt give all lonely people reprieve. It’s deifhtiely tough for them because loneliness becomes a vicious cycle for them ensues in unwarranted bitterness and pointing fingers etc. JazakAllah for a nice post!!

Yeah especially reverts who want to genuinely make new Shia friends, it must be hard for them.

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