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In the Name of God بسم الله
Sisterfatima1

At the edge of leaving please pray for me

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Salam

ive been struggling with the last month in keeping my religion i am at the point where I am thinking my life would be that much easier if I just left Islam and be the person everyone wants me to be 

i have no family that are muslim so it’s hard to maintain a family life as a single mum 

please make dua that Allah won’t allow me to leave religion 

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I'll say one thing that is hopefully encouraging, now that you feel on the edge, you need only battle for a little while longer and you will find ease inshallah. Allah bears no person with that which they cannot bear, and I'm sure you can bear whatever it is your going through with the strength you have. You've come so far it seems, you have only a short way to go!

أَم حَسِبتُم أَن تَدخُلُوا الجَنَّةَ وَلَمّا يَأتِكُم مَثَلُ الَّذينَ خَلَوا مِن قَبلِكُم ۖ مَسَّتهُمُ البَأساءُ وَالضَّرّاءُ وَزُلزِلوا حَتّىٰ يَقولَ الرَّسولُ وَالَّذينَ آمَنوا مَعَهُ مَتىٰ نَصرُ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلا إِنَّ نَصرَ اللَّهِ قَريبٌ

Do you suppose that you shall enter paradise though there has not yet come to you the like of [what befell]those who went before you? Stress and distress befell them and they were convulsed until the apostle and the faithful who were with him said, ‘When will Allah’s help [come]?’ Look! Allah’s help is indeed near! - Quran 2:214

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I will keep you in my prayers. Being Muslim isn't easy, we are all struggling in some form or another. I am truly sorry to hear you are in this situation.

 

Quote

Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِن قَبْلِكُم ۖ مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاءُ وَالضَّرَّاءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَعَهُ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ - 2:214

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ - 2:155

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا - 94:5

Just a gentle reminder, sis. ^

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"We have created man in the embrace of hardship." (90:4) 

"We test you with fear, hunger, the loss of wealth and possessions, death, and the loss of the fruits of your toil . Give glad tidings to those who struggle manfully on this path that those who say when afflicted with calamity and pain, 'We are from God and to Him we return on our path to perfection,'—that it is they who receive kindness and mercy from their Lord together with their suffering, and they it is who are truly guided." (2:155-57)

Man never becomes perfect until he sees sorrow and difficulties. Can a flower spread fragrance without suffering the onslaught of winds and rains?

May Allah grant you peace and strength

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Salaam sister

Sorry to hear about your struggles. I pray that you find the strength to follow the path of Allah, His Prophet (saw) and his AhlulBayt. 

Also, your family will always be your family so spend time with them as much as you can hoping they respect your boundaries.

Perhaps one of them wonderful sisters can help you via IM or phone call.

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Just ask this question to yourself dear sister - "What will I get if I leave Islam??"

Just focus on your beliefs. You are here to travel the road to perfection and not the road to keep everyone happy. Never ever will everyone be happy with you. Even God doesn't has 100% fans of His.

If practice is becoming a burden on you then ease it a little bit but leaving a religion is too much of a greater trouble than finding some space within the folds of Islam.

If Allah would have shown you the reward of your hardship, you would have asked Him to never end this hardship on you until you're alive.

This is a test and this is the point where you can prove Him that all your prayers were for Him. Face it with great courage and prove to God that you are worthy of His Eternal Love and Jannah.

Imam of the time is also watching your struggle.

One more thing, whenever black clouds of hardship surround you, Remember Aba Abdillah al Hussain (a.s). His hardship eases everything. 

Our hardship is not even a speck of dust near his (a.s) hardship. Do tawassul from Imam Hussain (a.s) to help you out in this situation.

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. (Surah Baqarah, Verse 153)

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Wa 'alaykum as salaam

This is one of the tests of faith, actually I was hit hard with it (waswas from shaytaan, evil thoughts with no basis) recently and it really worried me and had me in anxiety, thinking, "am I really going to lose this precious deen, which means everything to me?" crying even, because as you know having Allah is the best thing or best friendship one can have, and without it as the Imam says "what do we even have"?. The cure is to stay strong through it and use our 'aql (rationale).

The thing is, Islam is the most logical religion out there. It makes sense and has no flaws. Muhammad (s) was truthful, not a liar; not delusional, and there are arguments for that which I can provide for you, if you would like (pm me).

However I think this is more of an emotional issue. And to that, the solution is to remember the beautiful wa3d (promise) of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى. He promises us that after 'usr (hardship), there will be yusr (ease). One can relate this to dunya, meaning after a hardship here ease will follow (for example after your car breaks down, your friend offers you repair service for free) but we should look at the wider picture; that this promise is for the afterlife. After all this struggling, as you said being a single mom, having no family that is Muslim, etc... we will be admitted into eternal Paradise, with the proximity of Allah, and "ma tishtihy al nafs" as the Qur'an says (whatever the soul desires), no discomfort at all, no evil at all, no negative energy.. all positivity and beauty. If you truly believe in God's promise, then be patient, we are only in the transitory phase and have not yet been introduced to the real thing yet! When you see the gardens of Paradise, the beautiful bounties Allah has prepared for you; you will completely forget about your hardships here!

Read the Qur'an daily, it's really very beautiful and calms the heart. 10 verses a day and you will fall in love with it.

And finally, most sincerely, my best advice - if the people are not with you, there is someone who understands you way more than they do. In fact, that person understands what's in your heart and your problems far more than even you do, but we talk so little to him! -->

Salat al layl; which God PROMISES will fill the void in your heart, start praying it please! It is truly the nicest feeling being alone in the quiet night, just you and your Lord, pouring your heart out to Him, telling Him all your problems, knowing He is listening, that He understands you, that He was with you when all the hardships of life were going on, that He loves you and cares for you, more than a family member ever would, that He is there to nourish you, that He never gets tired of you complaining to Him, that He wants nothing for you but ease.. there's really nothing better than it to be honest. It's so beautiful and heart warming so much that words cannot describe it, you need to try it yourself sister.

If you do not know the method for how to do it (salat al layl), please check this short link, you've got nothing to lose and just so much to gain!

https://www.al-islam.org/salat-al-layl-allamah-muhammad-baqir-al-majlisi/concise-method-reciting-salat-al-layl

Will remember you in my prayers insha'Allah

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Existential crisis can be faced by any of us at any point of our lives. Without any doubt, it is a warning that we must stop for a moment and start reflecting over our lives. They tend to take place when routine and wordly problems become all of our life experience. You need your very own haven, time dedicated to your own spiritual progress (which, again, isn't about merely praying and reciting duas, but about increasing your knowledge and reflect upon your life).

Deal with each issue one by one, step by step. This applies for any important decision in your life (and definitely, how you live and practice your faith is one of them).

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Sister, I think very highly of reverts. I believe they are special people who have been handpicked by Allah to be guided to the 'straight path' Siraat e mustaqeem. Do you really want to lose this special status?  

I go through more or less the same as you raising my children alone, and even though I come from a family who have been muslims for 1400 years,let me tell you, things aren't any easier. So, leaving the path of Allah is not going to take away those problems. Remember we are not here to enjoy dunya, we are striving for Akhirah.

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If God loves you he will put you through hardships. You should rather be worried if your life is a piece of cake. 

Sister, read this (the believer's trials and tribulations):

https://www.al-islam.org/forty-hadith-an-exposition-second-edition-imam-khomeini/fifteenth-hadith-believers-trials-and

 

"Muhammad ibn Ya’qub al-Kulayni (R) from ‘Ali ibn Ibrahim, from his father, from Ibn Mahbub, from Abu ‘Abd Allah (A) that he (A) said: “Verily, it is mentioned in the Book of ‘Ali that of all mankind the prophets undergo the severest of trials, and after them the awsiya’, and after them the elect to the extent of their nobility. Indeed, the believer undergoes trial in proportion to his good deeds. So one whose faith is sound and whose deeds are good, his trials are also more severe. That is indeed because God Almighty did not make this world a place for rewarding the believer and punishing the unbeliever. And one whose faith is feeble and whose (good) deeds are few faces fewer tribulations. Verily, tribulations hasten towards the believer with greater speed than rainwater towards the earth’s depths."

Read more in the link.

Edited by Carlzone

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Alaykum alsalam.

What specifically about Islam that makes you want to leave and be just like 'everyone else'.

......Waking up for Fajr in a cold, dark night when everyone else is comfortably asleep?...

Nah seriously, what will you gain from leaving Islam? Eating horrid haram food? Or dressing immorally in the street with no problem? Enjoying alcohol?

Let me know.

Jazakallah.

Edited by aaljibar

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Sis, how did you become Muslim in the first place? Out of conviction? Maybe you need to revisit the tenets of islam? 

I have a question. I imagine that I have read some of your previous threads. Are your issues related to men? Not being able to find a good man and therefore thinking it would be easier if you don't wear hijab or follow the rulings? 

If this is the case, then no. Don't do that. You'll most likely only attract bad men and make God angry with you on top of that. 

If your problem is that you keep attracting bad men, then you need to educate yourself as to what differentiates good men from bad men so you don't keep repeating the same mistakes. You also need to understand the psychology of men so you don't fall prey for bad men. I'd advise you to read books on gender differences and also to watch YouTube lectures regarding this subject. Listen to male lecturers and authors and not women. They'll tell you exactly how to spot bad men but also good men. 

Also, if you want a certain type of man you need to truly transform yourself so that you become his match. There are lectures on this subject as well.

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