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Afsar

Wife left me because of Sunni boy

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8 minutes ago, Khadim uz Zahra said:

He never said he would beat her. As he clearly explained in other posts, he feels that he should have been stricter and not allowed her to speak to the other guy again.

That's the impression I got from he said that and when he said that would have used violent methods when during the time he found out she was cheating.

 

6 hours ago, Afsar said:

I had to use violent methods to bring her on the rite path I would have use for this occasion

^ If he meant taking the cell phone away, he would have said so, not wait for people to assume he meant beating her. Although taking the cell phone would made situation worse for him. As she loved the other man and could tell a story about the OP to make this guy fly into a rage and hurt the OP or his family. I firmly believe he did the best he could and should now leave it, even though it is easier said than done.

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29 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

That's the impression I got from he said that and when he said that would have used violent methods when during the time he found out she was cheating.

 

^ If he meant taking the cell phone away, he would have said so, not wait for people to assume he meant beating her. Although taking the cell phone would made situation worse for him. As she loved the other man and could tell a story about the OP to make this guy fly into a rage and hurt the OP or his family. I firmly believe he did the best he could and should now leave it, even though it is easier said than done.

You missed the 'If ever I had to use...' at the start. Perhaps his grammar isn't very good but what he's saying is that he never planned to use violence on her and if there was ever a time to be violent, it would have been when she did this but he still chose not to because he never wanted to be violent. He's not saying he wanted to, he's saying this was the situation where most people would get violent but he didn't.

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8 hours ago, Zulfiqar1472 said:

I have my cousin having the same issue after love marriage with Sunni girl.

 

In most cases, the children follow the mother. 

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I think the brother has already received answers and support. The thread started getting derailed from page 2 onwards. 

I would like to request the mods to either delete the irrelevant posts or to lock the thread (if the brother who opened it agrees)

JazakumAllah 

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56 minutes ago, Mahdavist said:

I think the brother has already received answers and support. The thread started getting derailed from page 2 onwards. 

I would like to request the mods to either delete the irrelevant posts or to lock the thread (if the brother who opened it agrees)

JazakumAllah 

I second that^

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Again I would like to clarify that I never used any violent method. By force I meant being less lenient. Even her parents complained that why were you not being strict and accused me had u handled the situation intelligently we didn’t  have to face such humiliation.

We were outside our country of citizenship as I work abroad away from my family and her family. Her parents knew that their daughter is not will to have any sort of marital relationship with me and she even went on to say that do it by force and there is no such thing as marital rape in Islam. But I didn’t do that because I was of opinion that this one of best things that happen between spouses and it should happen with consent.

again people can assume that I was violent, but I couldn’t hurt the girl that I loved so much. When I found out that she was still cheating even after marriage, I asked her what should I do to u now shall I beat u for which she herself said yes beat me I deserve punishment but I opted not to and ask her that if u want to continue tell that other guy that u are not breaking this marriage. She called in front of me telling that she has to continue this marriage for her family honour for which that guy kept on saying no u can’t now leave me and I will die while I kept on saying that if u want to continue tell him that u wanna continue for your husband, u wanna continue for the relationship which Allah has made for man and woman, and u wanna continue because u know that breaking your marriage for someone else is the path of shaitan. But it seems that she could not say such and such to him because she didn’t wanna break his heart. Eventually she decided to end this marriage and leave.

i knew that violence would not have taken me anywhere even though as per my understanding if any time in marital relationship sura 4:34 was applicable that might be the time but still I was trying to win her with love and out of that love I lost her. 

@Islandsandmirrors I never said anywhere that I beat her so how can u be so sure sister that I used violence. I said I wish I had used force not that I used force and even I explained what i meant by force.

@Gaius I. CaesarIf u see your child is deviating towards wrong path u use force by blocking all of those means that are taking him there so why couldn’t a husband who Allah has made the head of the household do this with his wife. Even though I didn’t use those means, I said I wished I had but again knew this wouldn’t have done any good.  

The only way I thought to  made her love me  is by loving her and forgiving her mistakes and hope that one day this forgiveness will make her understand but unfortunately I failed miserably

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I think I really received some very useful advices and support from my fellow members. It was just a pain that I had in my heart that I wanted to share with someone. When I share it with my parents they say that u yourself brought this trouble on u. I don’t have any friend at my current place so the only other platform where I think I could have shared what I m going thru is this forum.

i know for a person like me who thinks a lot such as I should have this   or I could have done that, there is a long way to go before I forget all this and the worst of all she still comes in my dreams and make sleepless nites for.

thank u so much all of u for support, may u people always stay together with your beloved spouses.

i guess the moderators can close this thread

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