Perseverance from Bab ul Hawaaij

[raza869]

I was an exceptional student.I always wished of excellence abd gained distinctions.Plus i had a special ideological orientation towards shia islam.So i wanted to outshine to highlight the name of Shia Islam. I managed distinctions in primary and secondary schools.Was selected out of so many for a renowned institution.Achieved further distinctions.In parallel fully promoted the good image of shia islam and my credibility was supporting my voice. But then i made few blunders.Perhaps compkacency struck me and i lost my confidence and reputation and perhaps the ability to excel and stand out. It is now more than 12 years that i could achieve a distinction and am just going average rather sometimes below average.Alongside my credibility, i have lost the ability to influence those who surround me. I,v asked repentance but it seems that click is not coming back.With the passage of time the challenges are growing for myself and shia islam but my abilities are probably diminished and lost.Every new project that i undertake is lost halfway because my situational awareness and self confidence is unable to coup up with social resistance. Recently i got another oppurtunity to stand out.I figured that out quickly and worked my best abilities on it.I asked the Almighty to give me a chance to shine again and expended whatever material and abstract resources i had.And i lost it. With feelings of dejection,the oppurtunity surfaced one last time out of nowhere and i again grabbed some hope.Before entering exams i visited the Holy Shrines and wept and cried like a baby especially in samarra,Karbala ,and Kazmain.I also had a special affiliation with Imam Reza (as) and i asked him desperately at his shrine. I also wanted to share my problem with some scholar but language barrier did not allow me in Iraq and Iran and the only word of advice i could get was to recite dua e maqatil for this hajat which i complied. Beside i also sought coaching from professionals about this milestone success and prayed with all my capacity.I also frequented my Namaz e Shab and asked help through it and was convinced about the divine help this time .One final help that i asked from infalliables (as) was that if a had left some stone unturned or the probability to err at the verge of my exam strikes me,the God and Masoomeen (as) must supplement me.My parents also prayed for my success. And at the nick of time i think i made some errors inadvertantly and my performance went average.I still knocked the last door of Bab ul Hawaij to supplement my shortcomings and please help my last chance.I ,but lost it again. With this state of affairs,i now only sit idle and plan to do no more thing but to look at the walls and pass my time.The only redponsibility i now feel is to take care of my parents and family and pass my times on whatever i have.However,as regard to the social activity and especially struggle for re-appearance if Imam(as) ,i find no strength,credibility,perseverance and pragmatically the things required for productive efforts in my society and area of responsibility.But the big question that every bit of me is asking to my ideolgy and ideologues is, Didn,t i deserve a chance,and WHO ELSE IS BAB UL HAWAIJ??   

[Hameedeh]

Salam. More than one Imam AS is Bab ul Hawaij. Maybe someone else can mention it.

Think more on your own situation. Your amal (prayers, duas, weeping, good deeds) have been successful. Plenty of people cannot say they are in an average situation, which makes you higher than those who are lost.

Keep doing your amal and finish your education.  If you are not married, focus on that. If you are married, do you have children or can you help orphans? 

[Sirius_Bright]

2 minutes ago, Hameedeh said:

More than one Imam AS is Bab ul Hawaij. Maybe someone else can mention it.

Imam Musa Kazim (a.s.) is known as Babul Hawaej (The door to fulfilling needs). http://www.aljawadain.org/EN/imam-kadhem.php

[ShiaMan14]

There are 4 babul hawaej:

Imam Ali (as)

Hz Abbas (as)

Hz Ali Asghar (as)

Imam Musa Kadhim (as).

[layman]

Salam,

I quite not understand your concerns/issues.

[raza869]

I,m replying to this post after a long time.So let me make it simple for those who can guide me.For me,wilayat is the most important target to achieve in the society.For enjoining good and forbidding evil in the society ,I find it more convenient rather inevitable to get to a position of influence in society.The governmental position that I was seeking through exams would have definitely given me that power to curb evil engineering in the society.And beside working hard and asking for intercession I failed twice.It is not difficult to accept failure and move forward,but the target can not be achieved now.

[Guest Itsme]

On 9/18/2018 at 4:37 PM, ShiaMan14 said:

There are 4 babul hawaej:

Imam Ali (عليه السلام)

Hz Abbas (عليه السلام)

Hz Ali Asghar (عليه السلام)

Imam Musa Kadhim (عليه السلام).

What about Prophet Muhammed (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)? Is he not the best Waseelah to Allah, and the one to whom we can ask to pray to Allah on our behalf , so the Creator, Allah, based on the Dua of his created servant, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) can grant our Dua?

[raza869]

irrefutably,all of the infalliables are a good source of intercession towards Allah.What I,m asking about is despite asking for intercession and working hard why could I not achieve a favorable result in the way of Allah?Desperation and frustration is my situation now.

[layman]

Salam,

Perhaps your previous successes and distinctions were not from you (not from your souls), but was parked to your souls temporarily.  Like Adam was given the knowledge, but taken back after he ate the fruits.

The best for you is to sink in yourself is that your past abilities were from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and NOT from you.

To clean up the self you need "taahir souls to be with you souls".  The cleaned souls are Ahlul Bayt.  

With that unity and attachment from you souls with the cleaned souls, return to Him (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as Adam did.

Maybe Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) return back your past confidence to you through your attachment to Ahlul Bayt.  If that ever happen to you, forget of you own self.  Just tell yourself, in me there is only love and attachment to Ahlul Bayt.   My success, knowledge, direction that came to me from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) through the cleaned souls (Ahlul Bayt)... and ask forgiveness from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for all my life (cleaning my souls).

If  that souls are returned to be parked with you, you will know the difference.

May all of us be guided.

[raza869]

On 5/6/2019 at 4:56 AM, layman said:

Salam,

Perhaps your previous successes and distinctions were not from you (not from your souls), but was parked to your souls temporarily.  Like Adam was given the knowledge, but taken back after he ate the fruits.

The best for you is to sink in yourself is that your past abilities were from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and NOT from you.

To clean up the self you need "taahir souls to be with you souls".  The cleaned souls are Ahlul Bayt.  

With that unity and attachment from you souls with the cleaned souls, return to Him (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as Adam did.

Maybe Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) return back your past confidence to you through your attachment to Ahlul Bayt.  If that ever happen to you, forget of you own self.  Just tell yourself, in me there is only love and attachment to Ahlul Bayt.   My success, knowledge, direction that came to me from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) through the cleaned souls (Ahlul Bayt)... and ask forgiveness from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for all my life (cleaning my souls).

If  that souls are returned to be parked with you, you will know the difference.

May all of us be guided.

Exactly the kind of answer I was looking for.So thanks for appreciating my problem and recommending a viable solution.The analogy that you developed with Prophet Adam’s (عليه السلام) version appeals me.However,the last confusion that I,v now is I lost multiple times.So I sought extreme repentance and before my last chance of success,I even visited the Holy shrines of Iraq and Iran.I wept long hours with my soul at the occultation place of Imam e Zaman(عليه السلام) & in Najaf and Karbala.I kept gazing at the shrine of Imam Reza(عليه السلام) for long hours as a hopeful candidate for intercession from Almighty.I lost again.The thing that now frustrates and confuse me is that I have no where else to go and apply for.This is the context in which I raised a question mark on all of the infalliables in those shrines as being Bab ul Hawaij.So please guide me where else is the door of repentance for me left?

[layman]

Salam,

Brother, repentance is for our whole life.  It will not stop.  Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) loves the servant who constantly returns to Him.  All of us need repentance.

Ramadhan is the perfect time to ask.  Lailatul qadr.  The little lailatul qadr starts from the first night.  Keep seeking closeness to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) through the closeness to the Pure Souls of Ahlul Bayt.

Keep constant salawat in your heart as if the Pure Souls are your souls when reading doas / prayers to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). That is the key for our duas to be accepted.

When the fire crackers of the Grand Lailatul qadr (Light) descends to Imam Mahdi (عليه السلام), may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant us the readiness to receive one of the sparks that will fall to our souls.  Then that will be our mission for that whole year.  Remembers! the sparks will fall to every human souls, but only those who are sincere to be with Imam Mahdi (عليه السلام) will receive it.  All humans have the opportunity to receive Lailatul Qadr, a we should not miss it.  May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) give us the sincerity and strength to be with our current Imam (عليه السلام).

Brother, you and all of us need that sparks to attach to our souls.

May all of us be guided.