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Sisterfatima1

Why do men think they are the boss during mutah

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10 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

why do some men think they are in control during mutah 

if your not paying her bills she don’t need your permission to leave the house

Because most jurists believe that a girl should ask her man before going out or doing certain things and obviously the man is the leader in marraige it’s also mentioned in previous scriptures aswell. 

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10 minutes ago, Anonymous2144 said:

Because most jurists believe that a girl should ask her man before going out or doing certain things and obviously the man is the leader in marraige it’s also mentioned in previous scriptures aswell. 

Well is the man maintaining her ?

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1 hour ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

why do some men think they are in control during mutah 

if your not paying her bills she don’t need your permission to leave the house

If he's not financially providing for her, wouldn't that mean his rights over her would be scrapped? For example, his right to intimacy. Would she be able to refuse him if he doesn't provide for her financially? 

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20 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

If he's not financially providing for her, wouldn't that mean his rights over her would be scrapped? For example, his right to intimacy. Would she be able to refuse him if he doesn't provide for her financially? 

Exactly he has no rights over her 

so I’m not sure why men get so macho in mutah 

Edited by Sisterfatima1

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6 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

why do some men think they are in control during mutah 

if your not paying her bills she don’t need your permission to leave the house

I don't think the girl needs permission to go out in a mutah marriage.

It's probably the guy's insecurities 

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3 minutes ago, ShiaMan14 said:

I don't think the girl needs permission to go out in a mutah marriage.

It's probably the guy's insecurities 

She does, according to Ay.Sistani both in temporary and permanent marriage. 

If a wife of temporary marriage goes out of the house without the permission of her husband, and the right of the husband is in anyway violated, it is haraam for her to leave. And if the right of her husband remains protected, it is a recommended precaution that she should not leave the house without his permission.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2350/

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13 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Exactly he has no rights over her 

so I’m not sure why men get so macho in mutah 

If you are a follower of Ayatollah Siston you can read the rulings in the link above. 

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7 minutes ago, starlight said:

She does, according to Ay.Sistani both in temporary and permanent marriage. 

If a wife of temporary marriage goes out of the house without the permission of her husband, and the right of the husband is in anyway violated, it is haraam for her to leave. And if the right of her husband remains protected, it is a recommended precaution that she should not leave the house without his permission.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2350/

If they are living together. But if she is at her home and he is at his home, is she supposed to call him every time?

Only applicable if they are living together...he is supporting her and the bold condition.

Edited by ShiaMan14

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1 minute ago, ShiaMan14 said:

If they are living together. But if she is at her home and he is at his home, is she supposed to call him every time?

They can have some general understanding of the life situation work, college, visiting family etc. I think both in case of temporary and permanent this ruling applies more in cases where a husband does not want the wife to go some place for e,g he can stop her from gatherings where he thinks haraam might be committed, or if there would be lots of non mahram interaction.

6 minutes ago, ShiaMan14 said:

Only applicable if they are living together...he is supporting her.

Temporary wife does not have the right to financial support. 

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4 hours ago, starlight said:

They can have some general understanding of the life situation work, college, visiting family etc. I think both in case of temporary and permanent this ruling applies more in cases where a husband does not want the wife to go some place for e,g he can stop her from gatherings where he thinks haraam might be committed, or if there would be lots of non mahram interaction.

"Provided his rights are not violated" - the only right he has is that the wife can't do another mutah while she is in mutah with him.

4 hours ago, starlight said:

Temporary wife does not have the right to financial support. 

My point exactly. They don't have any rights over each other than the wife has to be exclusive to him. The only time going out would be applicable if they were living together and even only if the husband's right would be violated. 

For example, he can't tell his wife she can't go to work if she works in a halal job, etc.

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14 minutes ago, ShiaMan14 said:

Provided his rights are not violated" - the only right he has is that the wife can't do another mutah while she is in mutah with him.

Ayatollahs Sistani also mentioned an recommended  precaution(please read above)

In my opinion she is also expected to observe the general rules of modesty and being cognizant of the fact that she is someone's wife rather than just not marrying a second man while being married to one.

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17 minutes ago, starlight said:

Ayatollahs Sistani also mentioned an recommended  precaution(please read above)

In my opinion she is also expected to observe the general rules of modesty and being cognizant of the fact that she is someone's wife rather than just not marrying a second man while being married to one.

I have read it. I think the difference is in our interpretation.

I am reading it as:

If a wife of temporary marriage goes out of the house without the permission of her husband, and the right of the husband is in anyway violated, it is haraam for her to leave

Otherwise if she is leaving the house and the right of the husband is not violated in anyway, then it is okay for her to leave.

And the only right that could be violated is she becomes interested in another man. That's the only right the husband has.

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2 hours ago, ShiaMan14 said:

"Provided his rights are not violated" - the only right he has is that the wife can't do another mutah while she is in mutah with him.

The meaning of "rights" here is his right to pleasure.

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19 minutes ago, Carlzone said:

But I thought it isn't wajib for her to sleep with him in mutah?

She can stipulate the 'no sexual intercourse' rule in the contract but he can still have pleasure through other means. At least that's what I.understood from Agha Sistani's rulings.

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6 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Who said so?

I don't remember. But I was convinced that this was the case. 

Do you mean it's wajib for a woman to sleep with a temporary husband? For real? If she doesn't want to?

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2 minutes ago, starlight said:

She can stipulate the 'no sexual intercourse' rule in the contract but he can still have pleasure through other means. At least that's what I.understood from Agha Sistani's rulings.

Yes, I have heard of that, for instance when couples want to get to know eachother before permanent marriage. But I thought that even if she didn't stipulate that, that it wasn't wajib to sleep with him. Why is it wajib if he doesn't provide for her? That surprises me. 

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15 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

why do some men think they are in control during mutah 

if your not paying her bills she don’t need your permission to leave the house

Salam Sister Fatima, I’ve missed you. Hope you’re doing well. :) 

Some men think they are in control in mutah because they are insecure and controlling. They  can’t trust any women to make sensible decisions. It’s a cultural/familial issue as a result of a negative outlook of the world and bad family dynamics that has shaped these men. 

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16 minutes ago, Carlzone said:

I don't remember. But I was convinced that this was the case. 

Do you mean it's wajib for a woman to sleep with a temporary husband? For real? If she doesn't want to?

Yes. Like a perm marriage.

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:salam:

The whole point of the marriage (in its essence) is to derive sexual pleasure (hence, Mut'ah - pleasure/enjoyment). So without the condition, it remains an obligation, because that is actually the point of Mut'ah. In fact, what is actually surprising is why jurists allow a temporary marriage with the condition of no sex...

Wasalam

Edited by Ibn al-Hussain

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