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In the Name of God بسم الله
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notme

Marriage poll

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What kind of marriage do you have?  

24 members have voted

  1. 1. Pick one:

    • Legally registered marriage
      0
    • Islamic marriage
      1
    • Both legal and Islamic marriage
      11
    • Not married
      12
    • Other
      0


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Since I live in a secular country and marriage is a religious practice, I don't think the government should have any involvement in it at all, so long as the marriage is between mature, sane, consenting individuals. 

A pretty significant number of poor Americans are in committed relationships but can't afford to legally marry. When you read statistics about marriage, single parenthood, or related matters, keep that in mind. 

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I don’t have any reasons for having both legal and Islamic marriage, other than I want to be recognized as someone’s spouse both Islamically and in my country. I got legally and Islamically married.

It was first suggested that I first get Islamically married. I just don’t like the idea of an Islamic marriage without it being legally recognized. Some family members were saying that by not getting legally married, I wasn’t risking as much. (Because those people are in unhappy marriages.) But I’m very confident in our relationship and we decided it’d be best to get both of it done.  

I’m not sure what it’s like for less fortunate places in terms of getting legally married, but getting married in a courthouse is inexpensive in comparison than, say, having a wedding and becoming legally married then. I think getting married becomes expensive because of the expectations surrounding it. There is also the division of everything during a divorce and the headaches involved that might make people reluctant to marry. 

Again, I’m not sure. With courthouses, prices may vary, but shouldn’t be 200 dollars at most to get the marriage license and have perhaps a small ceremony in a courthouse. 

EDIT: some people may not be able to afford getting legally married, as they live paycheck to paycheck. 200 dollars might be even too much for some who are less fortunate.

Living together before marriage and not getting married has become less of a haram lifestyle that’s sought out, but something out of necessity and sometimes out of desperation to reduce rent and overall payments of life and costs associated. Parents often kick out their children at around 18-22 (max) and will not even pay for their schooling. So it’s not surprising people are cohabiting prior to marriage just to survive. 

In eastern countries, people live with their parents until they marry, and they often will pay for college if they can afford it. That’s why people who judge others for living with partners should be empathic to the living conditions. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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31 minutes ago, notme said:

To those who have legally registered marriages, do you have reasons (economic, legal, social) or was it just done because it is expected? 

It was for legal and administrative reasons. Things like insurance, resident permits, tax declaration etc..

There was no event as such, just the two of us and a court representative.

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On 8/26/2018 at 6:40 PM, Islandsandmirrors said:

Again, I’m not sure. With courthouses, prices may vary, but shouldn’t be 200 dollars at most to get the marriage license and have perhaps a small ceremony in a courthouse. 

EDIT: some people may not be able to afford getting legally married, as they live paycheck to paycheck. 200 dollars might be even too much for some who are less fortunate.

I wasn't referring the cost of the wedding itself. 

A Christian woman whose children I cared for when I ran a child care had been in a committed and monogamous relationship with her not-husband for over ten years. The man had a criminal history (drugs, but clean now according to my client) which made it very difficult for him to find work. When he did work, it was usually temporary unskilled construction related work. She worked at a minimum wage food service job. The parents had no health insurance, but the children were eligible for Medicaid, something that two-parent families never got before "Obamacare". She also got state assistance to pay for her childcare. Her minimum wage income combined with her husband's intermittent income would have made them inelligible for assistance, therefore one parent would have had to stay home. 

That's what I mean when I say can't afford to get married. Only middle class people are worried about the cost of the wedding itself. Poor folks don't have that luxury. 

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