Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Men are trash

Why Are Men So Trash?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

It's called male chauvinism, and it's deeply ingrained everywhere, sometimes it is apparent, other times hidden in some sort of mentality or thinking. It is also very present in this forum too, so there isn't much you can do about.

You can just try to change yourself and be an influence to your environment (and that already is a lot).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Women ARE becoming baby making machines, that's very very unfair. I also blame men for that, but most of your post was about hijab. When compared to becoming a baby making machine, hijab is a very teeny tiny microscopic inconvenience. If your biggest complaint is about hijab, then clearly you are not married. Men are trash because they get brainwashed and controlled by few women and they enforce all their control and masculinity on women who are already oppressed. Then they think they control women when in fact they are the ones controlled by few promiscuous and cruel, sadistic women. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, rkazmi33 said:

Women ARE becoming baby making machines, 

Becoming? 

The world isn't entirely fair, but overall it has become much better over the past 1000 or so years! Remember when it used to be ok to bury your daughters alive simply for being women? No? Neither do I, but I've read about it. Remember when women weren't allowed to own property? To vote? 

(Women were always allowed to work outside the home if needed; it's not a privilege!)

Edited by notme

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, notme said:

Becoming? 

The world isn't entirely fair, but overall it has become much better over the past 1000 or so years! Remember when it used to be ok to bury your daughters alive simply for being women? No? Neither do I, but I've read about it. Remember when women weren't allowed to own property? To vote? 

(Women were always allowed to work outside the home if needed; it's not a privilege!)

I agree that things have improved over the past 1000 years, but now we are going backwards. If I am not mistaken, all of Queen Elizabeth's kids had 2 children. Now Will and Kate are going to have 4 kids. There's a loooong list of celebrities having kids almost every other day. They can all afford nannies, but do men care about that? If those successful women can have kids while working so hard, ordinary women (who have nothing better to do) have no excuse.  In my parents' generation, everyone had 2 or 3 kids, people in my generation are having more than 3 kids. 

Edited by rkazmi33

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you! History has proven that majority of men were perverts, oppressive, cheap, abusive etc.

It doesn't offend me, because it's a reality I accept. I rather someone tell me the flaws us men have. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Any "men" that you meet who are "trash"-- 

What do you expect when a society not only condones, but praises men for living like utter reprobates?

They call men inherently toxic, promote a narrative that fathers are often bumbling and stupid, that men are nothing more than than animals= You get horrible men.

My phone is very old and the screen does not allow me to type that accurately.

Edited by GD41586
Accidentally posted

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, rkazmi33 said:

I agree that things have improved over the past 1000 years, but now we are going backwards. If I am not mistaken, all of Queen Elizabeth's kids had 2 children. Now Will and Kate are going to have 4 kids. There's a loooong list of celebrities having kids almost every other day. They can all afford nannies, but do men care about that? If those successful women can have kids while working so hard, ordinary women (who have nothing better to do) have no excuse. 

Imposing a limit to the number of children a family can have is far more oppressive than allowing them to choose for themselves. If they want four children, that's their business not yours, and they are consenting adults unless you can provide evidence of coercion.

Plus, who cares about stupid stinking celebrities? I'll never understand how their lives are relevant to any of us. 

 

1 minute ago, GD41586 said:

Any "men" that you meet who are "trash"-- 

What do you expect when a society not only condones, but praises men for living like utter reprobates?

Yep. We only have ourselves (society) to blame. Speaking out against the problem is only the beginning. If men (and starting to include women) have become like useless children, we must stop accommodating them. Most people won't take on responsibility unless they have to.  

So how can we require people to think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are good men and there are bad men. Even if the majority of men you have encountered are bad you still have to differentiate between good and bad men. I'm sure you will be able to think of a good man you've encountered if you try honestly. 

Anyway, follow this problem all the way to it's roots and you will maybe realise that the elites who are running this world and it's societies by media and other techniques want weak men and masculine women who cannot fulfil their responsibilities as this will lead to broken homes. Family members will be separated and therefore weak and easier to control and sway to the dark side. Shaytan wins. 

There's a reason why silat al rahm is so important in islam and why divorce is so makrooh.

We are also to blame. We have bought into their propaganda and made it a part of us. 

Wasn't it Imam Ali (a.s.) who said that our biggest enemy is our own ignorance? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, notme said:

(Women were always allowed to work outside the home if needed; it's not a privilege!)

That is a good reminder.

During the hunting-gathering days, men went out hunting while the women went out and tended the fields and farms.

So the notion that women have gone out to work only recently is not entirely true.

Edited by ShiaMan14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The woman symbolizes the realization of the aspiration of mankind. A woman is raising breeder of honorabale  men and women . From the woman's skirt, man goes to the aisle. Women's skirts are the place of great education for women and men. It's a great day, a woman born in the world who is against all men. A woman is born that is a human specimen. A woman was born that shows the whole human identity in her. So the day is a great day; your day you women

Sahifa Imam v7 p341  (speech to women in birthday of Lady Fatima (sa) )

The embodiment of grace and mercy is in the eyes of the mother,is  the brightness of mercy and patience of the Rab Al-Alamin. May God bless the grace of the heart and the life of mothers with light his mercy of his divinity

Sahifa Imam v16 p225

https://www.jamaran.ir/بخش-جی-پلاس-70/595443-امام-خمینی-از-دامن-زن-مرد-به-معراج-می-رود

anyway happy daughter day in day of birthday of Lady Masumeh (Fatima bint Musa[sa]) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatimah_bint_Musa:muslima:

thumb_HamMihan-2015202143104135888714508  

31_3_Fixd.jpg

rozmadar.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Qa'im said:

This is not the best analogy. Shisha is more of a disagreed-upon topic than most makeup, and yes, people are judged for smoking all the time.

images-1.jpeg.7ee5724484145432d3f7680210dbfca5.jpeg

Just for laughs!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, starlight said:

If you feel the need to 'blame' anyone make it Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى .He designed a woman's body to produce and nourish babies? What exactly do you find wrong with women having babies? Would you feel happier if women were 'money-makers' in a household rather than baby machines? 

Bibi Khadijah (a.s.) had only one kid. Hazrat Masooma e Qum (a.s) had no kids. In fact, Imam Mosa Kazim (a.s) had 19 daughters and none of them had kids. Hazrat Ibrahim's wife had a kid when she was around 100 years old. If a woman can find a God fearing partner, she should get married and have kids. But if she cannot find a suitable partner, it's not fair to say that she has no other purpose in this world. Men have more power and with more power comes more responsibility. It IS the responsibility of men to maintain justice among different women in their lives. Most men fail to do that, and I will blame them for that. I don't care that they are visual beings, innocent babies, who get manipulated by evil women or they lose their ability to distinguish between right and wrong in front of the woman they like. 

It's really like saying that every country needs politicians and leaders. If a country cannot find good leaders, people of that country should learn to accept the leaders they have. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, rkazmi33 said:

If a woman can find a God fearing partner, she should get married and have kids. But if she cannot find a suitable partner, it's not fair to say that she has no other purpose in this world. 

I agree with you. But, to be honest, alot of time women reduce their own respect for themselves and in turn other people's respect for them by lowering their standards. In my opinion, I don't think many people at all say that a woman's only purpose is being a baby-making machine. Nowadays, when men are looking for a spouse, they are encouraged by their mothers and sisters to look for an educated woman, not simply someone with a womb. Of course, there's the odd aunt and grandma and mother-in-law who ask the new bride a billion times "when's the baby coming?". But that will never change, there will always be people who are eager for a baby and suggest it is the most important thing for  a woman. A strong woman would carry on living her life, unfazed, living the way she wants and sees right for her and her husband. 

 However I do live in the west, and my experience is limited to the part of the world I live in. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A solution to this problem could be that good godfearing men marry more women. And that women work on their jealousy. 

In this solution a woman who doesn't want to have kids probably don't need to stress about it as the husband probably already has children with the other wife. Not having children is also less of a threat towards the first wife.

The problem is that often times it is the bad men who cannot fulfil their obligations as rabb al bayt who marry more wives in hope of finding the grass greener on the other side (instead of looking inwards and correcting their own faults). 

Polygamy should be practiced more by the just and godfearing men. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Amira00! It may be because you are young. I also live in west and the pressure I feel from Muslims AND non-Muslims is too much. I don't remember the exact numbers but few years ago, % of childless women in US around the age of 45 was 18%, today it is around 11-12%. Such a big difference in just few years is not a co-incidence. 

11 hours ago, starlight said:

I agree with the above but there is no greater purpose for a woman than to give birth to and raise God fearing, Ahlebayt(as) loving children. A woman who has the opportunity and does only that in life should not be mocked or looked down upon for not having a career or a life and being only a 'baby making machine'. 

I never use the 'baby-making machine' in a mocking tone. I use that word for myself because sometimes I feel like that's my only purpose of existence. If I fail to do that, then I cannot do anything else in life. If a woman is having a kid every year or after every two years, then baby making machine is very suitable word. If a woman is in such condition, then it is very much likely that she is not allowed to say that she doesn't like having a baby every year. I am not mocking her, I am giving voice to her. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Carlzone said:

A solution to this problem could be that good godfearing men marry more women. And that women work on their jealousy

Lol, I'm sure the original poster would agree with you. 

I'm going to try and not get my own personal opinion in this. A solution is not having more wives if your first wife wants less children. In the original poster's situation, she wants to break through the oppression and objectification of women, which is arguably achieved through polygamy. And let's be real, not many women at all would be able to control their jealousy. That doesn't make them bad women at all. We're all human, and for alot of us, monogamy has been wired into us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, rkazmi33 said:

% of childless women in US around the age of 45 was 18%, today it is around 11-12%. Such a big difference in just few years is not a co-incidence. 

I don't find a correlation between those stats and modernisation. If anything, the number of childless women has decresed recently because women have come to realise they are strong enough to juggle both a career and motherhood. From what I've seen and read, women no longer feel the need to choose between a career and motherhood, which can only be a positive thing. Because women are proving that you can keep your individuality and personal identity whilst becoming a mother, which was a huge struggle for women in the past.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Amira00 said:

Lol, I'm sure the original poster would agree with you. 

I'm going to try and not get my own personal opinion in this. A solution is not having more wives if your first wife wants less children. In the original poster's situation, she wants to break through the oppression and objectification of women, which is arguably achieved through polygamy. And let's be real, not many women at all would be able to control their jealousy. That doesn't make them bad women at all. We're all human, and for alot of us, monogamy has been wired into us.

Polygamy done right does not have to objectify women at all. On the contrary, it could benefit the sister as she will be supported and taken care of and at the same time doesn't have to have children if she doesn't want to. She has more spare time and doesn't have to take care of her husband (cooking etc) everyday. For some sisters a part time husband could be a really good solution. 

I agree with you that most women can't control their jealousy but at the same time one does not achieve true faith until one wants for others what one wants for oneself. And after all Allah SWT has given this right in the quran to just men who follow the conditions for polygamy. 

I do think that it probably should not be done unless the first woman agrees to it or is persuaded with time. I know of a couple going through this process right now. It will InshaAllah be interesting to follow how this develops over time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Carlzone said:

Polygamy done right does not have to objectify women at all. On the contrary, it could benefit the sister as she will be supported and taken care of and at the same time doesn't have to have children if she doesn't want to. She has more spare time and doesn't have to take care of her husband (cooking etc) everyday. For some sisters a part time husband could be a really good solution. 

I agree with you that most women can't control their jealousy but at the same time one does not achieve true faith until one wants for others what one wants for oneself. And after all Allah SWT has given this right in the quran to just men who follow the conditions for polygamy. 

How is this justice? One woman has all the responsibilities: taking care of kids, cooking and cleaning and other woman only has fun but no responsibilities? This is against the definition of God-fearing, just man. This kind of special treatment given to some women is exactly the reason which creates jealousy. I won't accept that any first wife is willing to agree to this arrangement. If she has kids, and she is financially dependent upon her husband, then she may be forced to accept it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

How is this justice? One woman has all the responsibilities: taking care of kids, cooking and cleaning and other woman only has fun but no responsibilities? This is against the definition of God-fearing, just man. This kind of special treatment given to some women is exactly the reason which creates jealousy. I won't accept that any first wife is willing to agree to this arrangement. If she has kids, and she is financially dependent upon her husband, then she may be forced to accept it. If a woman doesn't want to get married due to fear of injustice, she should become a second wife and become the reason of injustice to another woman? 

You misunderstood what I wrote. 

The justice is about how the husband treats the wives - justly according to the definition of his marja. The rulings here are a bit complex (its not as simple as precise equal treatment, check with your marja for more information) but let's say for simplicity that he stays every other day with wife number 1 and every other day with wife number 2. If both wives cook for the husband they will only need to cook for him every other day. So it is fair. No injustice is done here. By the way, women don't even have to cook for their husbands but normally women do. 

If wife nr 1 decides to have four children and cooks and cleans for them every day and wife nr 2 doesn't have any children, then wife nr 1 cannot blame wife nr 2 for her extra chores as it was her free choice to have all those children. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...