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In the Name of God بسم الله

Polygamy among Shia communities

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6 hours ago, alidu78 said:

maybe wrong but I have the feeling that this is very rare among Iranians, what about Lebanese, Iraqis, Afghans, Pakistanis....? 

Salam your feeling is true .

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Polygamy is not very common in the muslims overall but it seems we would be seeing more of it in the coming years. 

[Edit] you will never know the exact percentage because temporary marriage in shias is more common than people think. 

Edited by starlight
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Yes, unfortunately this religious practice is rare in Iran. On the other hand, number of women who are responsible for the family increased and these women struggling with lots of financial problems. Moreover, number of Haraam relationship also increased. It's surprising that this increment in the number of Haraam relationships is normal to some Muslim men and women, but Mutah or polygamy are still taboo and unwanted. This is upsetting.

I never had polygamy in my mind before, but after I realized people are pointing out men who practice polygamy, I decided to do it. I just want to keep this religious practice alive. I know that a lot of people may backbite me in future(which is also ok to some of those men/women who oppose this religious practice), but I don't care. I don't follow their ideas, I follow my religion. Some men has different girl friends in Iran, and all those girls are OK with that. As soon as you tell them why don't you make it Halal? They give you countless astray responses to justify their Haraam relationships.

Another thing is that men must not use polygamy as a tool to leave their first wives. They must be just and fair like the way religion says. In this case, polygamy is beneficial to both the man and his wives. If polygamy was detrimental, religion wouldn't make it Halal.

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1 hour ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

It's surprising that this increment in the number of Haraam relationships is normal to some Muslim men and women

What about a teen girl with hijab who has a Muslim teen boyfriend like I saw and heard a couple of hours ago ? Or girls wearing a hijab with extremely tight jeans in the middle of a shopping street ? 
Oh well.. it all starts with ourselves, isn't that right?

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27 minutes ago, Mohammed-Mehdi said:

you know it is allowed right ? do you think polygamy is something bad?

I know it's allowed, and I know it's not bad. I, personally, don't think it's suitable for me, and many people in my community don't prefer polygamy. Let me just make it clear that I don't judge people who choose polygamy. It's a free world.

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6 hours ago, Mohammed-Mehdi said:

Here is a quote from study quran (4:3) : "All commentators are explicit that this verse did not establish a new lisence for polygamy or encourage it, but rather limit the more excessive practices of polygamy common in pre-islamic arabia by setting four as the maximum number of wives a man can have at one time. If a man is unable to adequately provide for multiple wives or treat them equitably, he is advised to take only one. If providing for even one would prove difficult, he is advised to take a slave wife (those whom your right hand posseses), because a slave wife, although entitled to kind treatment, was not owed the same financial and conjugal rights as a free wife (see v.25)." 

This is why i wouldnt define polygamy as an islamic act. Just like i wouldnt say enaging in the slave trade by buying or trading slaves, was islamic. The verses were brought down to limit both acts during our time of jahileeya. 

God knows His creation best. Women are possessive, jealous and sensitive. Polygamy is regarded as a trial, a burden, an afflication, -insert any other hurtful synonyms- to most women. I am yet to meet a women who would accept a man looking to marry more than a single wife. Because that's just the way we are. God has made arrangements to help men with their lustful drives by instructing women to adhere to a strict hijab. So why would he pay no attention to a woman's comfort and happiness? What happened to, we created you in pairs? 

I would understand if a second marriage was a necessity. For example, a widowed woman who is constantly harrassed by men in a small village without access to single males willing to marry her. A man with a wife may marry her to protect her from said harassment. A second wife becomes a trial for the family- like adopting a vulnerable orphan child, she is an "adopted" vulnerable woman. Working out and establishing a new family dynamic with a new foreign member (orphan or wife) will most definitely prove to be a challenge. Coincidentally, or maybe not, the verse (4:3) also mentions orphans.  

The prophet's marriages (pbuh) have been necessities too. To make alliances or to protect women. If i recall, he didnt marry anyone else while he was with his first wife Khadija (a.s.); a woman he loved and married without any motive.   

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1 hour ago, yusur317 said:

This is why i wouldnt define polygamy as an islamic act. Just like i wouldnt say enaging in the slave trade by buying or trading slaves, was islamic. The verses were brought down to limit both acts during our time of jahileeya. 

There is a clear difference between slavery and polygamy. The Quran wasn't just silent on polygamy, but rather it allowed it. Majority of our marja do have laws when it comes to being 'just' if we are to marry multiple women. I don't think we have gone through all the traditions of Ahlulbayt (as) to deduce that 'it is an unislamic act'.

However, 'being just' is very difficult. I am yet to find a man who will be willing to alternate and sleep with his wives within every four days.

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39 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

There is a clear difference between slavery and polygamy. The Quran wasn't just silent on polygamy, but rather it allowed it. Majority of our marja do have laws when it comes to being 'just' if we are to marry multiple women. I don't think we have gone through all the traditions of Ahlulbayt (as) to deduce that 'it is an unislamic act'.

However, 'being just' is very difficult. I am yet to find a man who will be willing to alternate and sleep with his wives within every four days.

The Quran wasn't silent on slavery either, it explicitly allowed it...

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6 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

What was the verse you had in mind?

There are quite a few that mention slavery.  Such as this verse which permits a man to have sex with his female slaves. There are also ahadith that speak slavery, the prophet (sawa) and the imams (as) owned slaves as well. 

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ - 23:5

And they who guard their private parts

إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ - 23:6

Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed -

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1 minute ago, Shi3i_jadeed said:

There are quite a few that mention slavery.  Such as this verse which permits a man to have sex with his female slaves. There are also ahadith that speak slavery, the prophet (sawa) and the imams (as) owned slaves as well. 

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ - 23:5

And they who guard their private parts

إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ - 23:6

Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed -

This verse doesn't instruct us to own slaves. I thought Quran has numerous verses that mention the 'freeing of slaves' as a good deed.

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7 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

This verse doesn't instruct us to own slaves. I thought Quran has numerous verses that mention the 'freeing of slaves' as a good deed.

Didn't say the verse instructed us to own slaves, it just permits slavery. Yes of course there are verses that mention the virtues of freeing slaves and ahlul bayt (as) freed countless numbers of slaves. I'm not promoting slavery or anything.

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On 6/19/2018 at 4:39 AM, yusur317 said:

This is why i wouldnt define polygamy as an islamic act. Just like i wouldnt say enaging in the slave trade by buying or trading slaves, was islamic. The verses were brought down to limit both acts during our time of jahileeya. 

God knows His creation best. Women are possessive, jealous and sensitive. Polygamy is regarded as a trial, a burden, an afflication, -insert any other hurtful synonyms- to most women. I am yet to meet a women who would accept a man looking to marry more than a single wife. Because that's just the way we are. God has made arrangements to help men with their lustful drives by instructing women to adhere to a strict hijab. So why would he pay no attention to a woman's comfort and happiness? What happened to, we created you in pairs? 

I would understand if a second marriage was a necessity. For example, a widowed woman who is constantly harrassed by men in a small village without access to single males willing to marry her. A man with a wife may marry her to protect her from said harassment. A second wife becomes a trial for the family- like adopting a vulnerable orphan child, she is an "adopted" vulnerable woman. Working out and establishing a new family dynamic with a new foreign member (orphan or wife) will most definitely prove to be a challenge. Coincidentally, or maybe not, the verse (4:3) also mentions orphans.  

The prophet's marriages (pbuh) have been necessities too. To make alliances or to protect women. If i recall, he didnt marry anyone else while he was with his first wife Khadija (a.s.); a woman he loved and married without any motive.   

Imam Ali (a.s) said: 

"Ghayrah of man is belief."

-Nahjul Balagha, pg. 491

 

"The protective jealousy of a woman is disbelief."

- Nahjul Balagha, of. 491

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On 6/19/2018 at 12:50 AM, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Yes, unfortunately this religious practice is rare in Iran. On the other hand, number of women who are responsible for the family increased and these women struggling with lots of financial problems. Moreover, number of Haraam relationship also increased. It's surprising that this increment in the number of Haraam relationships is normal to some Muslim men and women, but Mutah or polygamy are still taboo and unwanted. This is upsetting.

I never had polygamy in my mind before, but after I realized people are pointing out men who practice polygamy, I decided to do it. I just want to keep this religious practice alive. I know that a lot of people may backbite me in future(which is also ok to some of those men/women who oppose this religious practice), but I don't care. I don't follow their ideas, I follow my religion. Some men has different girl friends in Iran, and all those girls are OK with that. As soon as you tell them why don't you make it Halal? They give you countless astray responses to justify their Haraam relationships.

Another thing is that men must not use polygamy as a tool to leave their first wives. They must be just and fair like the way religion says. In this case, polygamy is beneficial to both the man and his wives. If polygamy was detrimental, religion wouldn't make it Halal.

You're in a polygamy?? If yes, How your parents allowed that?

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