About kheera please comment

[Mariamtee]

Can my parents do kheera To find if my partner should be the guy I should marry or not? I'm not too sure how it works but is it always right? 

[AmirAlmuminin Lover]

Salaam Alaykum

First, you need to know religious regulations related to Istikharah or Kheera. You can do Istikharah, but acting according to Istikharah is NOT Wajib. For example, you do Istikharah and it's good, but you decide not to marry the guy and vice versa. That is fine to act against it, but you SHOULD pay Sadaqah before acting against Istikharah. This Sadaqah is not Wajib too, but it's something good to do. Remember that it is also impolite to do against what Allah tells you to do. That was general ruling related to Istikharah.

Second, if you did Istikharah and it was good, it does NOT mean that your life with that guy is good. There was a guy who did Tawassul to Hazrat Zahra and realized that he should marry his cousin. The shaykh who narrating the story said that his life accompanied with difficulties with that girl. Shaykh said this is his test to endure all those difficulties. So, don't think if you do Istikharah and it was good, it means life doesn't have any problem. It may be a test for you as well.

Third, there is a Hadeeth from prophet that says:" Marriages are written in the skies". So, don't give yourself a hard time by being SO skeptical on your marriage. No matter who you marry, Allah wrote that before you were born somewhere in the sky.

My advice to you, if you found the guy religious with good manner, and committed to the family, don't do Istikharah and marry him.

[Mariamtee]

@AmirAlmuminin Lover thank you for replying, it means a lot to me. I will take everything you said into consideration. 

Also I don’t want to do the Kheera or istikharah but my sister said if my parents keep saying no to this guy that I should do it. The guy has good character, religious, manners & committed to family and this is what is asked for when looking for a spouse. I think if I don’t agree to do the istikharah, my family will think it’s because I’m hiding something or don’t think this guy is good for me

[2Timeless]

23 hours ago, Mariamtee said:

The guy has good character, religious, manners & committed to family and this is what is asked for when

A little off -topic, but why do your parents want to have an istikhara/kheera if the guy is good? And if the kheera says you shouldn't marry him, will your parents act on that?

[fatma93]

@Amira00 because my parents haven't met him yet, he is from a different nationality and they do not trust anyone except someone from our nationality so they're thinking to do ishtikhara before even meeting him.